Oh My God...

A group of rough looking boys walked past me today and all I heard of their conversation was “he’s got that anxiety disorder bro so I went with him so he’d be more comfortable” and it made me realise the world isn’t all that bad

It's kinda funny when you get a bunch of likes but no reblogs like I enjoyed your post but I'd prefer if no one else saw it

Levi's Parkour Fail

Leviathan (leaning on the doorframe, arms crossed awkwardly but trying to look cool): Yo, MC... you wanna see something totally awesome?

MC (glancing up from their phone): Uh, sure? What’re you gonna do, Levi?

Leviathan (stepping into the middle of the room, cracking his knuckles dramatically): I’ve been practicing parkour, and I’m kinda amazing at it. I'll just give you a little taste of my elite skills.

MC (sitting up, clearly amused but playing along): Alright, Spider-Man. Blow me away.

Leviathan: Watch and be amazed! (He takes a deep breath, bounces on his toes for momentum, then launches into a backflip... only for his foot to catch on the edge of the dresser mid-spin. He flails like a dying fish, lands back-first on the coffee table, and smacks his head on the floor in one horrifyingly loud BANG.)

MC (jumping up in a panic, but also laughing uncontrollably): LEVI?! Oh my god, are you alive?!

Leviathan (voice wobbling, holding up a shaky thumbs-up): N-Nailed it…

MC (crouching next to him, half-panicking, half-wheezing): Dude, you’re bleeding! Stay still! I’ll get ice—no, wait, a medic! Oh my god, you’re such an idiot!

Leviathan (wincing, but trying to grin through the pain): Pfft. T-This is nothing... I-I’m a demon... we heal fast...

MC (laughing harder now): Yeah, tell that to the crater you left in my coffee table! Can you even move?

Leviathan (attempting to sit up, immediately regretting it): Okay, uh, don’t freak out, but I might’ve broken my back...

MC (throwing their hands up): What do you mean don’t freak out?! I’m freaking out! Stay down, you idiot!

Leviathan (weakly waving them off): Wait—don’t call Lucifer! He’ll never let me live this down! I’ve got a plan…

Later, in the hospital...

Lucifer (arms crossed, glaring down at them): So let me get this straight: you’re telling me that the two of you were attacked by a possessed bear, Levi heroically flipped over it to land a devastating blow, and in the process, broke his back and gave himself a mild concussion?

Leviathan (sitting stiffly in a neck brace, nodding enthusiastically): That’s exactly what happened.

MC (matching his serious expression): What kind of monsters would we be to lie about something so traumatic, Lucifer?! How dare you question us!

Lucifer (he walks out, pinching the bridge of his nose, muttering, leaving them alone): I can’t deal with this idiocy right now...

Leviathan (glancing at MC, wincing as he moves slightly): “Hey, uh… did I look cool before, y’know, falling?”

MC (grinning): “Levi, you looked awesome. Like a total badass.”

Leviathan (fist-pumping weakly): “Hell yeah... ow.”

MC: “Stop moving, you moron!”

I love Leviathan; I need to give him more appreciation.

So. I’ve been laughing about this like all day and I need to talk about it. My gay ship just went canon in the most male power fantasy game of all time.

Kingdom Come Deliverance 2 recently released (I’ve been playing it, it’s good). It’s an RPG set in medieval Bohemia. You play as Henry, a blacksmith’s son. The first game, released back in 2018, starts with your village being burned to the ground and everyone either is killed or has to flee. The rest of that game is you trying to, among various things, deal with your trauma and get revenge. It’s a very well executed story in my opinion.

A notable character in the game is Lord Hans Capon, who was a real guy but the game version is a bit loosely based on him. Hans and Henry become rivals then friends. Their noble/peasant dynamic is reminiscent of Arthur and Merlin in BBC Merlin (though I would argue the class dynamics are far better executed and more nuanced). Like ten people including me decided to ship them.

The first game was a bit rough but overall good. It garnered a decent audience, including a notably large audience of straight white men who really like medieval history but not enough to know much about it beyond swords are cool. You get the picture.

The second game is announced. Those guys I mentioned are super excited!

Well. As it turns out there’s going to be a homosexual relationship in the game, according to an announcement made by the director at the end of January. Uh oh. W-well as long as it’s not the main character-

Cue release day, February 4th. IT IS!!!

HANS AND HENRY. It’s THEM! They have sex ON SCREEN. No nuance about it (though it’s important to note this is an option you have to CHOOSE).

The guys go crazy. KCD has gone woke they cry. And to make it worse there’s *gasp* a black man in a Bohemian court! DEI!

I can’t believe Warhorse Studios did it. I’m genuinely amazed. I have never been so vindicated in my life.

Everyone play this game for the love of god. The combat is tough but there’s plenty of guides online. It’s worth it I promise.

im surprised no one is talking about how elon musk paid people to make high level hardcore characters for him so he could claim it was all his work on livestream only to be immediately exposed as he couldn't even play the game right

Stolas is thirsty from... working so hard

this blog hates donald trump

Look how many people hate him. I’m pretty damn happy about that 😁😁😁😁😁😁

I increasingly think publications like Cracked and Mad Magazine served a load bearing cultural purpose keeping young straight guys from developing extreme reactionary opinions.

I think people have truly lost any ability to be patient with storytelling.

‘I don’t understand this’ They’ll explain it if you wait.

‘I don’t like how this episode left things hanging’ There’s a continuation next week.

‘This character is flat’ Wait for them to be fleshed out.

So many of the complaints I see about shows lately are people being confused by things THAT THE SHOW WANTS YOU TO BE CONFUSED BY THATS THE FUN OF MYSTERY AND FORESHADOWING YOU ABSOLUTE GOBLINS THE MAIN CHARACTER IS ALSO CONFUSED AND THEYRE GONNA DO A BIG REVEAL AND EXPLANATION LATER IF YOU WOULD JUST FUCKING WAIT