Nobody Get Between Me And A Man Nearly Three Times My Age (he Doesn't Know I Exist)

bitches hate me because of my.... bad personality.... paranoid nature... addictive tendencies......the torture basement.

Some are calmer and it's just something that pulls me closer to certain things. But I love some special interests so much that when anything even remotely related to it is mentioned, the excitement breaks the scale and turns into physical pain. Full body reaction, discomfort with vague pain in my chest. So filled with joy that I burst and it turns into misery again. But special interests give my life a meaning and were almost always the reason why I chose not to kms.

My special interests feel like they are studying themselves on their own while things that don't interest me are sometimes impossible to study. Often when I'm researching a SI, questions start spawning in my mind and they spiral to the point where finding the answer becomes impossible and I become frustrated. It's like I'm trying to zoom in to an infinitely small point that I know I'll never get to, but it still hurts.

autistic people: what does having a special interest feel like to you?

(and if u want to say, what is your current special interest?)

Is it seasonal depression or is the ever earlier sunset forcing me to reflect on how I haven't experienced anything fun or new or just "summery" this summer and I will only get a next chance in a whole year

I need a new hyperfixation so bad. I feel so broken when my interests don't consume 95% of my waking thoughts.

Just finished crying about Gukesh winning, now I'm crying about Ding losing😭

The Love of Plato - Leopold von Sacher-Masoch

"God created them, too."

Die Gottesmutter ending, oh my god. OH MY GOD! OH MY GAAAAAAAHHDD! (I loved it)