*thinks About Favourite Character* *clutches Chest* Oh My God…. *lies Down On The Floor* O Hmy Go D………….

one sentence(ish) summaries of every magnus archive episode PART 2

(eps 61-110) thank u for the funny comments and tags on the last part i love u guys

the rest of these may take a while as i've caught up to where i am currently in the podcast but i will finish them like in a month i promise

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61. the thrilling sequel to man does not open coffin: man DOES open coffin.

62. surely this doctor can find an easier way to scam people out of money than putting them in a little book.

63. THE DARK ATE MY BROTHER IN LAW.

64. this is possibly the plot of laura croft tomb raider

65. mmm crumchy

66. what's the opposite of an unboxing video

67. as close to a coffeeshop au as you're going to get from this podcast

68. Doctors hate him! Man REFUSES to die from tuberculosis!

69. your college's psych department has the worst idea ever.

70. reverse death note

71. not even death will stop this woman from taking the british subway

72. man doesn't want to be low key racist in his last moments before getting eaten

73. police versus the second coming of dark jesus

74. lady is haunted by an ad for coffee

75. mike crew says "uh fuck it let's just put this guy on a skyscraper forever"

76. ryan from buzzfeed unsolved breaks into a train yard and suffers consequences

77. you're not a enough of a bitch to be my real mom

78. man gets harassed by his cousin and then exorcises him

79. you know that chase scene in scooby doo with the doors

80. stupid idiot motherfucking jurgen leitner

81. i have been personally victimized by the sequel to the hungry hungry caterpillar

82. pov: elias threatens to cancel you

83. mannequin takes matters into its own hands after people don't like its pitch for a new window display

84. a hoarder put newspaper on my friend's face :(

85. hey there's maybe a little man upon these stairs?

86. man gets got by a squiggly thing in the dark.

87. plumber is so oblivious to spooky happenings around him that it possibly saves his life.

88. guys i think this guy likes to dig

89. lesbian investment banker finds a new, less evil job: arson!

90. guy who turns people's bones starts a gym where he promises not to turn your bones! (he is lying)

91. i was stalked by lightning for 10 years and i all i got were these stupid scars

92. jonah magnus is a bad friend // another day another elias slay

93. ocd is no match for purple fuzz

94. let the bodies drop gently to the floor let the bodies drop gently to the floor

95. im so sorry my brain refuses to remember what the war ones were about but i think one guy got gently kissed on the forehead so that's pretty nice.

96. diversity wins! the not-quite-human delivery men who stole your identity and business are maybe gay?

97. man gets gaslighted by an entire town about a hole

98. 🎶mister sandman bring me a dream, actually don't, please stay far from me 🎶

99. another one bites the dust

100. archival assistants face off against the general public (they lose)

101. jon finally levels up high enough to unlock an eldritch horror's tragic backstory

102. LOCAL MAN MARRIES BUG

103. peppa eats a clown and they cover her in concrete instead of congratulating her.

104. pennywise stole my brother's skin

105. it's world war z baby

106. Something Big Is In Space.

107. man is interrogated about the time he saw thomas the train roasts people alive and also sans is there

108. actor is stalked by mask who liked his monologue so much that it tells its mask friends to come watch.

109. sometimes a family is just a serial killer's daughter and that guy who maybe killed some vampires

110. yeah man those spiders be eating

Part 1 |

𝔟𝔞𝔩𝔞𝔫𝔠𝔢

The Magnus Archives Dashboard Simulator

🕷️ arachnophobia-incarnate Follow

Oh my god oomfies you’ll never believe what I just found

1,937,328 notes

📚 jonathan-sims Follow

HELP THERES A DOG ON MY DESK???

2 notes

🫖 poet-tea Follow

HELP I JUST LET MY DOG INTO MY BOSS’S OFFICE??

📚 jonathan-sims Follow

LITERALLY WHO ARE YOU

🛶 timtimothy Follow

LMAOOOOO

176 notes

🪱 residentwormgirl Follow

I think there’s a wasp’s nest in my attic. I’m gonna go check it out.

🪱 residentwormgirl Follow

Do you hear that

🪱 residentwormgirl Follow

This is kind of a bop actually

☕️ ihavenohotcocoa Follow

op? op are you ok

2,332 notes

🎭 reliable-down-to-earth-nerd Follow

going on a date tomorrow! 😀

🛶 timtimothy Follow

haha what.

🛶 timtimothy Follow

can you repeat that op

🛶 timtimothy Follow

op?

🛶 timtimothy Follow

op can you repeat that

57 notes

👁️ bouchard-elias Follow

I love my job. Everything just goes according to plan exactly how I want it to.

📖 bookluvr Follow

Hi

👁️ bouchard-elias Follow

hey sorry for this but you wouldn’t happen to have seen a lead pipe lying around would you?

80 notes

🤡 notmyvoicebox Follow

does anyone have any skin? For no reason whatsoever of course. Like if you just have it lying around. Out of use.

🌀 funhousemirrorman Follow

why do you need skin

🤡 notmyvoicebox Follow

wouldn’t you like to know, door boy

101 notes

🐺 detective-daisy Follow

is there wifi down here

⚰️ wakelyupwhenimdead Follow

no

🐺 detective-daisy Follow

HELLO?? HELLO CAN YOU HEAR ME??

📚 jonathan-sims Follow

I CAN! I CAN HEAR YOU

🐺 detective-daisy Follow

Oh. You.

📚 jonathan-sims Follow

What. What does that mean

132 notes

👓 reliable-down-to-earth-nerd Follow

I can sense a promotion coming soon I’m so excited !!!

👓 reliable-down-to-earth-nerd Follow

are you SERIOUS

🛶 timtimothy Follow

I’m going to kill that old man with my bare hands HOW DARE HE DO THIS TO YOU QUEEN

162 notes

👤 averagescarehater Follow

WHYYY IS THE SKY LOOKING AT MEEEE

📚 jonathan-sims Follow

my bad

200 notes

50 fun things to do alone, to make yourself happy ✿⊹˙⋆༶⋆

Here are a few simple ideas for exploring your passions and finding joy in your downtime. I hope they can help you create a happier and more fulfilling life! ♡

Take a long, relaxing bath

Go for a solo hike or nature walk

Read a book in a cozy spot

Try out a new recipe and cook yourself a fancy meal

Create a vision board or plan out your goals

Watch a movie or binge-watch a TV show

Paint or draw something

Go for a bike ride

Write in a journal or start a blog

Take a yoga or exercise class online

Experiment with makeup or do a skincare routine

Listen to a new music album or podcast

Go to a museum or art gallery

Take a dance class online

Do a puzzle or play a board game

Try a new hobby, like knitting or embroidery

Go to a coffee shop or restaurant and treat yourself to something delicious

Take a long drive and explore new areas

Do a home workout or yoga session

Practice meditation or mindfulness

Go on a solo trip or staycation

Attend a virtual event or workshop

Visit a botanical garden or park

Write a letter or send a care package to a loved one

Do a DIY project, like painting a room or making a piece of furniture

Take a photography or art class

Go on a shopping spree or try on clothes in a dressing room

Visit a local farmer's market or flea market

Attend a theater show or concert

Have a self care day at home with face masks, bubble baths, and relaxation

Have a picnic in a park or your backyard

Take a virtual tour of a museum or city

Visit a library or bookstore and browse for new reads

Attend a virtual book club or writing workshop

Go for a solo kayaking or paddleboarding adventure

Take a photography walk and capture the beauty around you

Attend a virtual concert or music festival

Do a home spa day with a face mask, manicure, and pedicure

Try a new workout, like kickboxing or Pilates

Have a karaoke night and sing your heart out

Attend a virtual wine tasting or cooking class

Do a digital detox and spend time away from technology

Take a bubble bath with candles, relaxing music or a movie

Go stargazing in a remote location

Write a short story or poem

Take a pottery or ceramics class

Go on a solo camping trip and disconnect from the world

Try a new art medium, like watercolors or pastels

Go on a photography scavenger hunt and capture specific objects or colors

Have a movie marathon of your favorite films or a new genre you've been wanting to explore

Have a lovely day today! ❤︎

gn chat ily

pouring one out for agent browning tonight. if i had to be neil jostens assigned FBI agent I would invent new forms of alcoholism

Out of curiousity, are you planning on adding to your Jason Todd Whump series, and if you are, do you take idea suggestions?

to be very honest, I am struggling to write a lot these days/months. I do have a few ideas and I wish I could publish them soon. However, you can give me suggestions. I cannot guarantee you that I will write them, since I am still struggling to write but any ideas are welcome :)

You're... you're alive.

i hate gay people