Pendranièvre C’est Aussi La Tronche De Paniqué D’Arthur Quand Tout Le Monde S’est Lancé Sur

Finally I can wrap my phone around my cock, set it to vibrate and call myself.

"You’re a girl so act like one". Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize my vagina came with a terms and conditions manual.

Bon, pour un one-shot Kaamelott, quelqu’un peut me balancer un prompt?

J’ai le cerveau qui pétarade faut m’aider

For all that my previous “Kaamelott karacters” were dudes, Kaamelott isn’t that bad a sausage fest. (It’s just really full of brown-haired white dudes with beards.) There are female characters all over the cinnamon roll -> bastard scale, starting with the Queen, Guenièvre (Guinevere).

Guenièvre is a typical example of an apple falling VERY far from the tree: she has none of her mother Séli’s ruthlessness nor her father Leodagan’s violent tendencies. She’s a dreamer, she’s naive, and (“thanks” to the way she was raised) has no idea why she hasn’t given an heir to the crown in over 15 years of marriage with Arthur. (It’s because he won’t touch her - dude made a vow, it’s complicated - and they only got married for political reasons). She tries to be a good queen, even when she fails to grasp the intricacies of political life, even when she starts to think Lancelot might be interested in her and she in him (which ends badly for all concerned). Nobody takes her seriously; there’s a couple of cases where this backfires on them, because for all her faults, Guenièvre - like Bohort, another character few take seriously - is soft marshmallow all the way to the core, which is iron.

GUYS PLEASE SIGNAL BOOST THIS THIS IS SERIOUS NOW AND MY WHOLE FUCKING FAMILY IS SCARED AS SHIT!

MY FATHER HAS BEEN MISSING SINCE 4 AM THIS MORNING AND WE HAVE NOT SEEN HIM ALL DAY! THE ONLY INFORMATION WE FOUND OUT WAS THAT HE WAS IN MISSOURI AT ABOUT 2 PM TODAY AND HE WAS IN CONTACT WITH SOME POLICE OFFICERS! THE OFFICERS HAD BEEN TALKING TO HIM FOR A WHILE BEFORE SOMEHOW DEEMING HIM “COHERENT” AND THEY “ESCORTED HIM TO THE STATE LINE” BEFORE JUST IGNORING HIM COMPLETELY! THIS WAS HOURS AND HOURS AGO AND HE’S NOT IN TENNESSEE OR NEBRASKA!

THE POLICE OFFICER IS NOW AT OUR HOUSE TRYING TO FILE A MISSING PERSONS REPORT AND HE CAN’T REALLY DO STUFF IF HIS HIGHER UPS DON’T THINK HE’S A DANGER TO HIMSELF, WHICH I HOPE THEY DO SAY YES TO BECAUSE MY DAD IS EPILEPTIC AND WHEN PUT UNDER HIGH AMOUNTS OF STRESS, WHICH HE CURRENTLY IS SUFFERING FROM, HE CAN HAVE SEIZURES WHICH ARE VERY DANGEROUS WHEN DRIVING ALONE!

PLEASE GUYS! I WANT TO FIND MY DAD HE’S BEEN DEALING WITH A LOT OF STUFF RECENTLY AND JUST WHEN WE THOUGHT HE WAS DOING FINE AGAIN HE GOES MISSING AND I JUST WANT TO SEE MY FUCKING DAD AGAIN!

He’s about 40 years old, he looks a little bit older than what he does in the picture, he is about 170 pounds and maybe close to 6’0”, his truck is a silver chevy silverado, please Google it if you don’t know what it looks like, it has a dent in the front, the license plate is RWW 222, and we hope he’s either somewhere in Nebraska, somewhere in Tennessee, or somewhere in between.

Please, if you see this man ANYWHERE call the police or something please stop him he needs serious help and we’re all worried about him!!!