Hell Is Freezing Over In The US, You Take A Shit, It Is Going To Ice Skate Its Way Down The Drain.

Amy Poehler was new to SNL and we were all crowded into the seventeenth-floor writers’ room, waiting for the Wednesday read-through to start. There were always a lot of noisy “comedy bits” going on in that room. Amy was in the middle of some such nonsense with Seth Meyers across the table, and she did something vulgar as a joke. I can’t remember what it was exactly, except it was dirty and loud and “unladylike.” Jimmy Fallon, who was arguably the star of the show at the time, turned to her and in a faux-squeamish voice said, “Stop that! It’s not cute! I don’t like it.” Amy dropped what she was doing, went black in the eyes for a second, and wheeled around on him. “I don’t fucking care if you like it.” Jimmy was visibly startled. Amy went right back to enjoying her ridiculous bit. (I should make it clear that Jimmy and Amy are very good friends and there was never any real beef between them. Insert penis joke here.) With that exchange, a cosmic shift took place. Amy made it clear that she wasn’t there to be cute. She wasn’t there to play wives and girlfriends in the boys’ scenes. She was there to do what she wanted to do and she did not fucking care if you liked it. … I think of this whenever someone says to me, “Jerry Lewis says women aren’t funny,” or “Christopher Hitchens says women aren’t funny,” or “Rick Fenderman says women aren’t funny…Do you have anything to say to that?” Yes. We don’t fucking care if you like it.

Tina Fey, Bossypants (via embryodanika)

Maggie Menu

On the menu for Maggie tonight is puréed sweet potato, puréed brown rice, sprouted organic tofu, chia seeds, and digestive enzymes. Does she look excited? She is!

Si Guenièvre tombe enceinte je suis sûre qu’elle va avoir un craving de pâte d’amande

Arthur: ça va ? Vous avez pas touché à votre assiette.

Guenièvre: non mais ça me donne mal au cœur moi tout ça. Et puis en ce moment moi j’ai seulement envie de pâte d’amande

Arthur: encore ?! Mais ça vous était pas passé ça ?! Y avait de la pâte d’amande dans les gâteaux que vous receviez toutes les semaines ou quoi ?

Guenièvre: *vomit*

Dame Séli: dites donc, vous seriez pas enceinte par hasard ?

Guenièvre: enceinte ? Mais est-ce possible ?

Léodagan: ah bah d’après ce qu’on entend presque tous les soirs, oui c’est bien possible

Arthur: … bon bah je vais vous commander de la pâte d’amande

Mortal Kombat 1 Characters represented by feral stick figures

Mileena:

Havik:

Kitana:

Baraka:

Johnny Cage:

Kung Lao:

Raiden:

Rain:

Tanya:

Kenshi (to Johnny):

Smoke:

Bi-Han:

Reiko:

General Shao:

Scorpion:

Liu Kang:

Geras:

Sindel:

Shang Tsung:

💌

The Spine → Diamonds

if hogwarts is the safest place in the world then what goes down at the other wizarding schools

Vladimir Serov, The Worker (1960) and The Builder (1964)

bieber fever is dead

let us now spread hatch fever

This is one of the purest and goodest videos that exists on the web