I need this on my page *Yoinks*
Post corrections/clarifications are my favorite genre of humor: a compilation
Cheers to hating that bitch đ
official elon musk hate post reblog to hate like to hate reply to hate
I meow very often, because when Iâm at my dadâs: I have my cat, she basically screm when she meow, very loud.
When at momâs: moms floofy cat, very cuddly quiet bby, her meows are also very baby mew
Also:
1: my cat; Lisa 2: moms cat; Gypsum
just a friendly reminder, have you meowed today? it's very important that you meow at least once a day so I wanted to check
I scream into the voidâŠ
And the void answers..
WITH THE BASS BOOSTED WII THEME-
*flies away from the sheer force of the void beats*
This is a draft of something I've been writing for a couple months. It is mainly focused on the culture of the USA. Feel free to repost or otherwise share, with or without credit.
Give the gift of relief from being forced to engage in societyâs unsustainable ways of life.Â
âPeople need to eat more plant-based foods.â ->Talk about your favorite recipes, give others recipes, cook for them, and grow vegetables and plants in your garden and give them away as gifts.Â
âPeople need to repair their clothes.â -> Offer to repair othersâ clothes, and teach people how to repair their clothes.Â
âPeople need to buy less clothes.â -> Give them old clothes that you donât want, help them repair their clothes
âPeople need to buy less plastic stuff.â ->Â Learn to make things that can serve the same purpose, such as baskets, and give them as gifts. Let people borrow things you own so they donât have to buy their own.Â
âPeople need to stop using leafblowers and other gas-guzzling machinery.â -> Offer to rake the leaves. You can use them as compost in your own garden.Â
âPeople need to be more educated about nature.â->Â Learn about nature yourself. Tell people about nature. Be open about your love of creatures such as snakes, spiders, and frogs. Do not show awareness that this could be strange. You are not obligated to quiet down your enthusiasm for creepy crawlies to demonstrate awareness that it is weird. Point out at every opportunity how these animals are beneficial.Â
âPeople need to use cars less.â -> Offer rides to others whenever you must go somewhere. Whenever you are about to go to the store, ask your neighbor or your friend who lives along the way, âIs there anything you need from the store?âÂ
You cannot control othersâ behaviors, but you can free them from being controlled.Â
If you think to yourself, âBut this would be so difficult to do!â ask yourself WHY? Why does your society coerce you into less sustainable ways of living, forcing you to consume excessively? After thinking about this, consider that it is less simple and easy than you thought to make more sustainable choices, so why would you judge others for not doing it?Â
Environmentally friendly behaviors that can be done alone, without collaborating with or consulting another person, are the least powerful of all. Whenever an âenvironmentally friendlyâ behavior is suggested, figure out âHow can I give this as a gift?â or âHow can I make this possible on the level of a whole community?âÂ
âPersonal choicesâ do not work because every single person has to make them individually. If you are focused on making your own personal choice, you are not focused on others. If you are not focused on others, you are not helping them. If nobody is helping each other, most people wonât be able to make the âpersonal choice.â
            Start with your neighbors, the people physically close to you. You live on the same patch of land, containing roots from the same plants and trees. You can speak to them face to face without traveling, which means you can easily bring them physical things without using resources to travel.Â
            Always talk to your neighbors and be friendly with them. Offer them favors unprompted and tell them about how your garden is doing. Do not be afraid to be annoyingâa slightly annoying neighbor who is helpful, kind, and can be relied upon for a variety of favors or in times of need is a necessary and inevitable part of a good community. If you make the effort to be present in somebodyâs life, they will have to put up with you on some occasions, but that is just life. We cannot rely on each other if we do not put up with each other.Â
Every hour you spend outside with your neighbor is an hour your neighbor doesnât spend watching Fox News. Every hour you spend talking with someone and interacting with them in the real world, eating real food and enjoying your real surroundings, is an hour you donât spend only hearing a curated picture of what reality is like from social media.Â
            Isolation makes it easy for people to become indoctrinated into extremist beliefs. When someone spends more time alone, watching TV, Youtube, or scrolling social media, than they do with others, their concept of what other people are like and what the world is like comes more from social media than real life. TV and online media are meant to influence you in a specific way. Simply restricting the access these influences have to yourself and others is helpful.Â
If you grow a garden, you can give your neighbors and friends the gift of food, plants, and crafted objects. This is one of the foundational ways to form community. When you give food, you provide support to others. When you give plants, you are encouraging and teaching about gardening. It is even better when you give recipes cooked from things you grew, or items crafted from things you grew. You can also give the gift of knowledge of how to grow these plants, cook these recipes, or craft these objects.Â
            Some people are uncomfortable with receiving items or services as gifts. They want to feel like they are giving something back, instead of having obligation to return the favor hanging over them.Â
            It can help to ask a simple favor that can be easily fulfilled. People generally like the feeling of helping someone else.Â
When you give someone a gift, it can help to say something like âOh, I have too many of this thing to take care of/store/eat myself! Do you think you could take some?â This makes your neighbor feel like they are helping you.Â
When allowing others to borrow items, you might not get them back. Donât worry about that. It just means the item found a place where it was needed the most. You can ask about the item if you think it might have been forgotten, and this can create an opportunity for a second meeting. But donât press.Â
If the person you give to insists upon some form of payment, this is a good opportunity to negotiate a trade.Â
Ask your neighbor to save compostable scraps, biodegradable cardboard and paper products, and any other items that might be put to use. Use them in your own compost pile. Or, start a compost pile at the edge of the yard where you both can add to it. Remember that âwetâ compost like vegetable and fruit bits needs to be mixed with twice as much of âdryâ and âwoodyâ compost like cardboard, leaves, small twigs, paper and wood bits.Â
Overcome the cultural norm that the front yard is only decorative. Use the front yard for gardening so you can be seen by others enjoying your garden, and others can witness the demonstration of the possibilities of land. In the front yard, anything you do intentionally with your land can be witnessed. It also makes you a visible presence in your community.Â
Donât just grow vegetables that cannot be the core component of a meal themselves. Grow potatoes, dry beans, black eyed peas and other nourishing, calorie-dense foods. Grow the ingredients of meals. You could even build a garden around a recipe.
Be sure to send them home with leftovers. Â
Containers are one of the fundamental human needs. If we had more containers, we wouldnât need plastic so much. You can learn to make baskets, and to grow plants that provide the raw materials for baskets.Â
If you see someone putting leaves in bags, donât be afraid to ask if you can have the leaves. More likely than not they will be happy to agree.Â
In the border land between your neighborâs yard and your yard, it is almost always just mowed grass because no one can plant anything without it affecting their neighbor. But these border lands add up to a lot of space. It would be much better if you talked to your neighbor about what would be nice to plant there, and together created a plan for that space.Â
Make it clear that you will not get mad if the neighborâs kids play in your yard or run across it. Invite the neighbors onto your land as much as possible. Tell them they are allowed to spend time in a favored spot whenever they would like. Â
If there is a yard sale, you always know about it because of the hand-drawn signs placed around. Therefore, a cookout or unwanted item exchange can be announced the same way. In rural areas I have seen hand-made signs that say: FIREWOOD or WE BUY GOATS or EGGS. This is one of the few technologies of community that remain in the USA. If someone who looks to buy and sell can put up a hand-made sign, why shouldnât you? Â
Religious people or people with strong political opinions like to put signs everywhere. If they have the confidence and courage to do so, why shouldnât you?Â
So if there is a message you would like everyone to see, use the simple power of the hand-made sign. Proclaim âBEE FRIENDLY ZONE!â above your pollinator garden with all the confidence of a religious fundamentalist billboard. Announce to the world, âVEGETABLES FREE TO ALLâJUST ASK!â âWE TAKE LEAVESâNO PESTICIDES.â Instead of YARD SALE, or perhaps in conjunction with YARD SALE, you can write, PLANT EXCHANGE or SEED SWAP or CLOTHING SWAP. Who can stop you?Â
Some of these ideas might be eccentric, strange, or even socially unacceptable, but there is no way to change what is normal except to move against it. Someone has to be weird. It might as well be you.Â
Update: I asked for an estimate of how many he has, apparently he counted, and he has 63 FEDORAS- đ
I have this friend who I met in school a couple years back who always wears a fedora.
Heâs fruity as hell (and openly gay)
And heâs the only person I know who can actually rock a fedora.
One day I asked him sorta as a joke âDo you just have, like, a whole dedicated collection of fedoras?â AND HE DOES
This isnât just fedora all the time NO, He has AT LEAST 1 FEDORA FOR EVERY HOLIDAY (2 ST Patrickâs, at least 4 Christmas themed, Valentineâs Day, Halloween, Etc) AND HE CHANGES THE COLORS BASED ON SEASONS (more neutral tones in winter like grey and beige, Colorful ones in spring, earthy tones in fall, and itâs safe to assume he has some for summer too) HE HAS A FEDORA FOR EVERYTHING- đđ
But yeah, heâs really chill, and everyone now knows/realized that he has 40+ fedoras đ
You ever look at your genetics and go âhow the ever living FUCK did this happenâ because I am directly descended from the strongest Old Ireland clan and the second strongest Scottish clan⊠ON OPPOSITE SIDES??? Iâm double Celtic royalty-
Iâm so stupidly tall, and then Iâm also pretty sure Iâm developing gigantism⊠Iâm 5â11â STILL GROWING AND THEN THERES GIGANTISM?? I donât wanna be like 8 feet tall bro- a normal house is already a lot and a custom built house would cost my kidney-
The only reason I look like Iâm not starving is that extra mass isnât body fat, no no no, thatâs pure MUSCLE-
Ya know how most little kids are chihuahuas, because they donât have strength for their rage? WELL I WAS A DAMNED TASMANIAN DEVIL BECAUSE I SOMEHOW KNEW A BUNCH OF WEAK POINTS AND FIGHTING TACTICS WITHOUT LEARNING???? Was I James Bond in a past life or some shit???
My molars are sharpâŠmolars as in THE HERBIVORE TEETH. Iâve tried looking it up and didnât get an answer, I EVEN ASKED MY DENTIST AND THEY COULDNT COME UP WITH A SURE FIRE ANSWER EITHER??
I have that weird mutation that makes it so I can consume other peoples blood without worry. How do I know this? One time my bestie scraped her elbow and when I was looking at it my autism brain made me automatically lick it- I was like âdid- did I just eat your blood-??â And she was like âyeah- I think so-â and we both proceeded to burst out laughing.
My favorite part of my fucked genetics: MY JOINTS! I simultaneously have joint pain and am hyper flexible- (my jaw can also unhinge without damage but ignoring that-) so sometimes I bend 2 degrees and my spine dissipates, other times I can CONTORT TO FIT INTO A FUCKING CLOTHING DRYER???? my bestie knows that and the fact that itâs my favorite hide and seek spot and we always cackle at peopleâs faces when they FINALLY find me- đ
As a single person who cares about being good in school: Fuck you /j
(I SEARCHED FOR THIS POST JUST TO SAY THIS)
i love cheating if you donât cheat what the hell is wrong with you
I'll be so honest right now the thing I love about everyone not caring or congratulating the guy who downed the UnitedHealthcare CEO is that this will inspire other "copycats" if you know what I mean.
There are people who have nothing left to lose, people who want to make a mark in history, people who would want to be known nationwide, people who see through the NYPD's bluff and realize that they can get away with ending a CEOs life when everybody wants you to get away.
I'm not promoting anything! But this is something that has been seen time and time again in history, soooo
I wonder Which Spider-Man would be the best therapist-
Ok- I saw a tumblr post about how Tony stark needs his âweekly dose of Peter or he turns into a jerkâ or what not and I imagined people being prescribed a hang out session with Peter Parker/Spider-man as a way to chill out-
Like- imagine if a bunch of the Spider people did a contract with an inter dimensional therapy thing, and they would help people with their problems by listening to them vent, Giving advice, or even using webs to help with physical therapy too-
I should make a fanfic about this-
Shapeshifting Eldritch DeityWriting blog: https://www.tumblr.com/harkentheenigmaPokéblog: https://www.tumblr.com/harkenpokeblog
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