Thomas: Son, I Have A Dark Family Secret I Have To Share With You.

Retired Phantom

DP x DC Prompt

There is a new teacher at Gotham Academy. Mr. Nightingale is someone who has a mostly clean record. The only stains on his record is being the son to two villains who have been put behind bars and being under a witness protection program to one Vlad Masters.

He was hired because Gotham Academy is in need of not only a Chemistry Teacher and an Engineering Teacher as well, so he will be paid double the amount of money because of him filling two roles.

The students of Gotham Academy are waiting to see if Mr. Nightingale will become a Rogue of Gotham or move on to following his parents' footsteps elsewhere with becoming a Villain to a different Hero.

What the students of Gotham Academy weren't expecting of Mr. Nightingale is that he's a pretty good guy. He's understanding of the students, doesn't give a lot of extra homework to do, and is always bringing snacks for hungry students, including vegan snacks for one Damian Wayne and other vegan students. The only anomaly to Mr. Nightingale is that he is constantly taking eyedrops every hour.

Danny is living pretty okay right now. His friends have moved out of Amity before him to pursue their dreams. They do keep in contact, but collage life keeps them busy. His parents were arrested by the Justice League, and the GIW was disbanded by the Justice League as well. Vlad couldn't get custody of Danny because of both Jazz and the Justice League listening to him about not wanting to be with Vlad. So he's living with his sister until he's old enough to live on his own.

Of course, Vlad wouldn't give up. He kept trying as Plasmius to get him to join the Fruitloop. As soon as Danny got his teaching license, something he wanted other than becoming an astronaut, he and Vlad had engaged in a battle that led to the Fruitloops Castle. The battle lasted a long time, both Halfa's badly hurt, but Danny most of all, as he may be the Prince of the Infinite Realms, but he doesn't have the Crown of Flames or the Ring of Rage to help him. His Ghost Half sustained a lot of damage, with the only injury that transferred to his human half was the burns to his eyes. This is how the Justice League found Danny in Vlad's Castle (as a human and not Phantom), Jazz had called the Justice League because Danny wasn't back yet. Now, he's got to take special eyedrops provided by Frostbite to help his human eyes heal and to help his Ghost Hlaf eyes heal as well.

He was put under witness protection for his safety, and considering that he's living in Gotham, he's got Montoya, some other trusted GCPD officers, and a Bat constantly with him. He's given up on being a hero, as becoming the Prince to the Infinite Realms has overwritten his Ghostly obsession to become the King when he's of age. The only downside is that the Bats and the Justice League are asking around for Phantom. He doesn't want to involve himself in anymore Hero matters, but that will change as he gets more involved with the Wayne family.

Of all the problems Danny thought he'd have fleeing Amity to another universes version of Amity, called Goth Ham or something, he didn't think the first big one was gonna be a fricken clown. Yes he was technically, but not really, homeless, had no money, had no forms of identification and was by now considered legally dead by his home government, and non existent by this one. But he could handle those with relative ease. But a clown? To be honest he was surprised he hadn't run into a clown themed psychopath until now, well... if he didn't count Vlad.

Once upon a time Danny would have felt bad about stealing but he was over taking the moral high ground with such petty things. He was only half dead, he needed to eat. And he thought he'd done enough good deeds in his short life to be allowed to just take what he needed without money. Besides he was never caught on camera or by security systems, they always 'mysteriously' shorted out. No one ever got hurt cause he just went after closing. And he never targeted small mom and pop operations, only large corporations who logically wouldn't miss the products taken by one small 15 year old. So ... Well maybe he was still sort of taking the moral high ground but come on he wasn't heartless.

He'd set up a tent in one of the only alleys that weren't overtaken with homeless people already, he supposed even a city with a millionaire as generous as Bruce fricken Wayne not all issues could be solved. He'd learnt a neat trick from Desiree, who's haunt in the GZ was stereotypically a lamp, to make a space much bigger on the inside than it was on the outside, eat your heart out Doctor Who. Technus had designed a generator that could produce energy from a small piece of highly concentrated ectoplasm, which Danny could form by compressing his ectoblasts into crystals. A single crystal lasted months. And the tech savvy ghost also rigged a system that connected to the cities water and waste systems so he had fully functional plumbing. So from the outside it looked like he was living in a medium sized tent. But on the inside he had a full multi bedroom apartment. He was quite comfortable, and the shield around it was designed to keep out ghosts and deter humans, playing on that sensation they naturally had to avoid something weird.

So when a clown walked straight into his home he was caught a little off guard. Since his home was sound proof he hadn't heard anything from outside, and had been walking from the kitchen to the unliving room, his little inside joke to himself, cradling a bowl of popcorn wearing pyjamas he was startled enough to blast the weird thing wearing a purple suit right the feck back out.

Joker hadn't expected to run into a young meta human that night. But as the only Batling that actually used guns was on his ass like a mouse on drywall he had just ducked into a tent intending to take whomever was inside hostage. He hadn't known what to expect inside but a teenager in the threshold of a high scale apartment wasn't exactly it. And the he was shot by something bright and green, even though the brat wasn't armed.

A pale face emerged from the tent looking down on him, a young boy, looked like he could have been one of the little projects that Wayne guy was always taking on, as the clown lay sprawled on the filthy ground of the alley slightly winded. "You startled me." He said with slight concern. "You alright?" The joker laughed. A crazy laugh. Crazier than usual. Someone in Gotham asking the Joker if he was alright? Hilarious.

"You're not from around here are you kid?" He wheezed between cackles, the concern seeming to grow on the child's face making it funnier. The brat shook his head, stepping out from the tent fully and crouching by the man, who was now laughing so hard nothing but a wheezy rasp was getting out. He was examining the scorch marks left on Joker's suit, even reaching out and patting the man's chest.

"No physical wounds, but maybe you hit your head?" He mumbled. Joker took a deep breath and laughed even louder. "Dude, that's distracting, quiet, I'm trying to make sure whatever's up with you isn't my fault." He then, with sheer audacity placed a small, freakishly cold hand to the man's mouth. He yelped and jerked back when Joker lurched upwards into sitting, a few strands of his usually slicked back green hair falling into his face as he gave the kid a wide grin, eyes wild. "Mmm... No I think your kind of crazy has been brewing for a while." He decided, the Joker gave an unnerving giggle.

"You've never heard of me? Surely I've been on the news." Joker said feeling generously social. The kid eyed him wearily as he stuck out his hand. "Name's the Joker, last name Joker, first name The."

"I feel like you've got a buzzer on your hand." The kid said, not taking the handshake. The Joker raised his hand revealing the buzzer with a way too many teeth grin.

"Guilty. Listen, kid, think I could hide out in your little abomination of space in there?" The Joker leaned really close to the boy, watching the youths nose crinkle with disapproval of the invasion of personal space.

"I suppose..." He murmured. The Joker leapt to his feat with a loud 'Great!' and didn't even wait for the boy before stepping inside to inspect the property inside. He picked up the discarded popcorn and made himself at home, vaguely aware that the child had also re-entered the tent.

After a moment he looked over his shoulder to see the boy standing awkwardly, watching him with confusion and concern. He liked concern, it meant he could manipulate that. "You just gonna stand there like the world's scrawniest scarecrow?"

The boy shuffled his feet remaining where he stood, clearly uncomfortable about the Joker being there, but he sensed it wasn't because he was a clearly psychotic clown who'd barged his way into the kids home. As he studied the kids expression trying to discern what exactly it was that made the kid weary, cause the clown thing was usually enough, he noticed faint scaring across the boys face. Mostly the left side, fanning out in jagged lines from a pinpoint somewhere under the collar of his shirt. He turned away mulling this information over while flipping through the channels of a massive tv, how did the kid get better reception in this impossible tent than the system rigged up by that cable Guy he'd kidnapped a while back?

Eventually the kid sat down, granted it was as far away from him as possible, this was a normal response to sitting with the Joker. "Wanna know something kid?" The boy's wide eyes glanced away from the screen, where a tasteful documentary on common bats was playing, curiosity evident though he remained silent. "I'm not a good guy."

He expected a bit of fear maybe, but the withering look he received was far from that. Icy eyes seemed to say in a snarky tone 'No kidding?' "Didn't really expect a man dressed like Ronald McDonald's lesser known cousin oozing criminal King pin energy to be an upstanding citizen." He responded looking back at the tv. "I'm not exactly a good guy either."

The Joker's grin grew, this kid was interesting, he'd been around the block if he could note that Joker wasn't just any old psycho. "Is that so?"

"I mean I had my moment of vigilante justice and all it got me was the hatred of my parents, homelessness and being declared legally dead. But you learn to pin point the dangerous ones." The boy grumbled, pulling his knees up to his chest and staring intently at the screen. "You're a dangerous one."

The Joker laughed. "Got a name or are you just dead teen walking?"

"Danny."

"Not a very heroic name."

"Not a very heroic guy."

"You've been in the hero business and you've never heard of me?"

"Purple and green Court Jester named Joker? No."

"Cuts deep kid. I'm a little insulted. Bet you know Batman. That's not fair."

"Batman? You think that instead of some grape and apple looking dude I'd know a furry?"

Joker wheezed, a furry, he'd have to add that one to his routine, bats would love that. "You must be from outta space or somethin kid."

"Or something. How long did you need to hide here?" Danny asked now watching the Joker as the man hunched over imagining the glee of calling the stone cold Batman a furry.

"Not really hiding when I threw a tracker on him."

Danny and the Joker whipped their heads around to see who Joker recognised as Red Hood, and who Danny recognised as another madman in a silly costume. He really needed to figure out a lock system. But something about the man also gave Danny a sense of interest. Something that felt familiar. "Ah, well. When you put it like that." Joker grabbed the kid, noting idly that the jagged scars were down his arm as well. "What we have here is a hostage situation."

Danny glanced at the 'weapon' he was supposedly being held hostage with, a small hand held canister, painted green and purple with a sinister grin painted in the centre. "What's that?" He asked, though honestly he assumed it was a gas of some sort, which didn't really affect him since he could just turn off the need to breathe when it suited him.

"Laughing gas, lethal laughing gas." The newcomer growled. While the Joker rambled about this guy, Red Hood he called him, ruining the punch line Danny simply turned invisible and intangible. The Joker and Red Hood were both understandably surprised. Red Hood muttered something about a 'Meta Human'.

"Okay, well, I felt bad for hitting you earlier but you officially overstayed your welcome." Danny said reappearing to the side, he then glanced at Red Hood. "And you weren't even invited. So...."

And like that he was gone. Not just him. His entire home, the tent it was crammed into, everything. Every trace of the kid was gone. Joker stared at Red Hood who was temporarily thrown off by the magic trick of the century. So naturally the Joker started running, dropping the canister behind him as a treat. It had been a weird day. Even for him.

Meanwhile Jason Todd stood wondering if he should be worried about this new Meta Human in Gotham who seemed to, even if temporary, been chumming it up with the Joker. If the deranged clown managed to get a Meta Human in his arsenal there'd be trouble. And Danny? Danny had relocated behind a local fast food restaurant, he deserved a burger and fries as a treat for dealing with Goth Ham City Crazies.

To be continued maybe?

Merlin: if you ever see me with the crown prince of the kingdom that kills magic users for sport, mind your business, I'm trying to get our rights back

Character sheet for a danny phantom x dc fic that i have not written yet but i will i swear to god once i have the time i’ll write it i swear

Edit: I FUCKING SPELLED CASANOVA WRONG

Please Don’t Tell Him to Pull up

The JL has a problem. Specifically a problem with Marvel. See, whenever they call him in for back up or even just to chat, he pulls up in the most ridiculous ways.

JL: *fighting villain on a beach*

Supes: “We need back up! Someone call, Cap!”

Flash: “I thought he was—” *dodges punch* “—busy!”

Supes: “Well, he better become unbusy! Call him!”

They called him, and guess how he decided to show up.

Marvel: *riding surfboard while a big ass Kraken chases after him*

Aquaman: *has to pause, amazed awe*

Supes: “What are you lo— oh my God.” *has to pause too*

Marvel: *does a little kick flip, nearly falls*

The villain didn’t notice him until a large shadow loomed over them, and he was promptly picked up by the Kraken’s beak and taken away.

Flash: “Did we just see a man die?”

Aquaman: “Cap, that was awesome!”

or

JL: *fighting aliens*

Hero: “Guys we need more back up!”

Hero 2: “I’ll call it in!”

5 minutes later…

Marvel: *flying above them and lets himself freefall*

Supes: *pauses* “We have to get out of here.” *can deadass hear him falling*

The JL quickly rounded themselves up and dipped immediately as Billy let himself fall onto a bunch of aliens at like Mach 12 making a crater.

He loves dramatic entrances.

Bruce has to go off-world for something since he does not trust his children to not destroy Gotham while he is gone, he calls up his cousin to watch the kids. (Grown up) Danny shows up and has to wrangle his cousin’s children. Danny is full-on expected to be babysitting a bunch of little kids, he is surprised when most of them are adults.

Bruce's kids didn't expect to have a babysitter---they are not pleased. So they decide to make Danny's job 10x worse.

Danny wasn't originally going to butt into their patrols, but they're being annoying. So Danny messes with them on patrol.

(Alfred is on vacation and the thing Bruce has to deal with is short notice. Bruce did not want to cut Alfred’s vacation short)

Not Exactly the Apple of my Eye

I wrote this for the @haunting-heroes-creative-games WWT Myths game last month, and subsequently co-won my first game!

Figured I'd post it here too, now that all the reveals have happened---have a DPxYJ/DPxDC Snow White AU Crack fic!

===

"You gotta be kidding me," Kon says as he looks down at himself, "this can't be real, right?"

"Feels pretty real to me!" Bart chirps happily, fiddling with his overly large green sleeves.

"Rad." Tim rolls his eyes, crossing his arms and popping his hip and yawning like a disgruntled cat. Sarcasm practically drips from every orifice of his body language, even as he looks 2 seconds away from falling asleep.

"Is this what I think it is?" Cassie yells from further into the room, the sound of a small clamor echoing behind her words.

"If by it you mean some kind of inter-dimensional fucky wucky, then yeah!" Kon waves his arms around, gesturing to the room at large even if she can't see; Tim and Bart can, and that's all that matters. "I think so!"

"No, I mean is this Snow White?" Cassie clarifies as she comes huffing into the room. She too is adjusting her clothes as best she can, trying to figure out what to do with the glasses suddenly on her face.

The four of them stand gathered in the middle of the cottage they've been dumped into, freshly shrunken in height, stripped of their powers and gadgets and suits, and dressed in what seems to be simple cotton peasant shirts and work leggings.

They also have comically large and weirdly soft and sturdy leather shoes, of the Snow White Dwarf variety.

"Aren't there supposed to be seven of us?" Tim mumbles thoughtfully, another yawn causing him to slump and looking mad about it.

"How can you be so calm about this?" Kon huffs, picking up Tim with very little resistance for once and dumping the yawning boy onto a bed labelled Sleepy. Kon himself grumbles as he takes a seat on the next bed over labelled Grumpy.

An angry Kryptonian is not a great idea. Who let this be okay?

"I'm not calm about this…" Tim yawns once more, irritated, "I just can't think straight, I'm too tired."

"You don't sleep on a daily basis though?" Bart walks his way to his own bed, labeled Dopey and test bouncing it. "But it seems fitting at least. Plus, You're not straight anyway. Who's Cassie supposed to be?"

"Doc, I think." Cassie goes to her own bed, looking at it dubiously before deciding to ignore it completely. "He's the only one with glasses right?"

"That…" Tim is curled up on his side now, "still…doesn't answer…"

Soft snores start to drift through the room, another anomaly, considering Tim doesn't actually snore.

"What did the genie lady say?" Bart starfishes on his bed, making snow angels with no snow, "This is all because you decided to hit on her anyway."

"How was I supposed to know?!" Kon angrily pulls the covers off his bed to dump over Tim. "All I said was that she was pretty!"

Before anybody else can say anything, there's another clatter outside the cottage.

"Seriously!?" A voice screams, "Seriously?! Three years and you-" A violent sneeze interrupts the voice—"-still make fucking wishes?"

A small murmur answers the voice, barely audible.

Kon, Cassie and Bart look at each other, before scrambling over to the door. Tim stays dead asleep. When they burst out, tumbling over each other, they're met with the other three dwarves: A young gothic looking girl who keeps sneezing, an African American boy hiding behind another boy with a bedsheet of all things tied around his neck like a cape. The caped boy, with his black hair and blue eyes, looks like he's trying to be a knock off superman.

Kon does not like that. At all.

"Hey!" Rao, it's like he has no control over his temper, "Were you guys fucked over by the genie lady too?"

"Language~" Bart singsongs, giggling. The gothic girl whirls towards them, angry like spitfire, and sneezing just as violently.

"Hello, citizens!" Super-knock-off intones, "What brings you into the ill graces of Desiree?"

"If by Desiree you mean the genie lady," Cassie jabs a thumb at him, "then this guy hit on her."

"O-oh," The shy boy still hiding behind Super-knock-off is blushing hard enough that Kon can see it even with his darker skin, "w-wow, you're pretty…"

"Thanks!" Cassie smiles, winking at him. "The ladies love it, anyway."

The boy squeaks, hiding behind super-knock-off again. Goth-girl rolls her eyes before addressing Cassie.

"Desiree hates that-" a sneeze, "-kind of shit." Goth-girl rubs her nose, to which the bashful boy passes her a tissue from his backpack as if dealing with a rabid animal. The girl takes it with a scoff-turned-sneeze.

"Figured." Cassie shrugs, waving to herself. "I'm Cassie, by the way. Grumpy over here is Connor, and Cutie Pie down here is Bart."

Kon huffs, waving begrudgingly as Bart does a happy little wave.

"Nice to meet you, I'm Danny!" Super-knock off puffs out his chest, before gesturing to the once more sneezing Goth. "This is Sam, and behind me is Tucker!"

"We're not—usually like this." Sam sniffles, sneezing between pauses, "Danny's usually more chill, and Tucker's not this—shy. But if my—math is mathing, it's because—of the dwarf traits."

"Why does being Happy make him so…" Kon sneers, "Do-goodey?"

"Long story. We call him Super Danny in this state." Tucker smiles, peeking out a little more, "Fun Danny was better."

"Hey!" Danny wraps an arm around his friend to bring him up to the forefront, causing Tucker to squeak. "Super Danny had his moments!"

"Where's-" Sam sneezes four times in a row, "-Sleepy?"

"Our friend Tim." Bart gestures towards inside the house, "He's napping in one of the beds inside. He's usually an insomniac, so this is actually pretty great!"

"So," Cassie gets them back on track as they all convene around a sleeping Tim. "Do you guys know how to escape?"

"That is difficult," Danny hums, patting at Tucker who seems to be taking deep breaths to overcome his shyness. Kon tries to follow suit, to temper himself. "Did you perhaps make a wish when hitting on Desiree?"

Kon felt his face go blotchy red, rubbing at his cheek with the back of his hand and looking away.

"Connor." Cassie's voice goes threatening, hands on her hips like a mom scolding a child.

"All I said was Move over Snow White, 'cause you're truly the fairest in the land!" Kon grumbles, crossing his arms. "And that she made me all Bashful, or whatever! I didn't wish for anything!"

"All I did was wish Sam would lighten up," Tucker scratches the back of his neck, inching closer to Danny when Sam bears her teeth. "Normally Desiree would just make Sam glow, or something."

"Who is Desiree anyway?" Bart starts to frown down at himself, rubbing his tummy absentmindedly. "We were just having lunch with Tim's brother-"

Suddenly Kon, Cassie and Bart whip their heads towards each other, exclaiming at the same time: "Dick!"

"Language?" Tucker, who had startled at the sudden yelling and is firmly hiding behind Danny again.

"No, Tim's brother, Richard—he goes by Dick." Cassie explains as the three of them separate to look under furniture and through the house for the older man. They collectively ignore the whispered on purpose? from the other trio.

"He was with us when we got snapped here." Tim yawns, rubbing his eyes and sitting up. "Who are you?"

The new trio introduces themselves to Tim as the rest of them split. Kon is looking under the beds, Bart is upstairs, and Cassie is opening cabinets in the kitchen, if the sounds are to be believed.

"This doesn't really feel like Desiree's usual fare." Sam taps her foot, for some reason the only dwarf who was able to keep her own black studded combat boots. It looks comical paired with her brown shirt and red pants. At least the black belt matches?

"How would you," Tim yawns, standing up and leaning heavily against Kon when he comes back around. "Usually…get rid of her?"

"Usually Phantom would deal with her." Tucker mumbles as Sam starts to pace. She's no longer sneezing now that they're inside, which seems odd.

"Who's Phantom?" Bart's voice bounces as he descends the stairs back to join them. "He's not upstairs, by the way."

"He's Amity Park's local hero!" Danny flashes a gleaming smile, before frowning. "Truly a mystery why she's hanging out around Bludhaven."

"What were you guys-" Kon is interrupted by Sam, who knocks twice on the window she's stopped in front of.

"Uh, guys?" She's staring at something confusedly, "Is Dick…uh, black haired, wearing eye-searingly ugly patterns?"

"That's…" Tim yawns again, sluggishly making his way over to Sam, "probably…him."

"I think he's in the backyard?" Sam tilts her head, "and I think we've found our Snow White."

The seven of them gather quickly around the window, pushing and shoving and…

"Is that a fucking glass coffin?"

===

Jazz has fucked up.

Oooooh she's definitely fucked up.

How was she supposed to know Ghost Writer and Desiree just wanted to hang out?

How was she supposed to know that Desiree's cousin was Scheherazade?

How was she supposed to know Ghost Writer knew that infamous One Thousand and One Night's protagonist?

She just wanted to finally meet her online friend and talk about Jane Austen books, have dinner with her brother and his friends in Bludhaven after!

She really should have aimed better. Stupid thermos, Danny always made it seem so easy!

Now she's running around in this random forest trying to find her brother and his friends dressed like some kind of Prince.

Why do Princes wear such white tights? It's impractical is what it is, there's already a bunch of dirt on the back of her calves!

She's been in this forest for what feels like hours when she hears it; sweet salvation in the form of other people. Jazz frantically makes her way towards it.

"—Snow White?" A boyish voice asks.

"Well, he's certainly—achoo!—pretty enough for it." Sam is saying—is she with the others? "Even with all…that going on."

"At least Danny isn't in the coffin this time?" Tucker sounds unusually shy and timid—it makes Jazz quicken her steps and almost trip over tree roots at least twice.

"Hey—" An unfamiliar feminine voice cuts in, "Tucker, what does that mean?"

"Worry not, Cassie!" Danny! Oh sweet souls, Danny!! "It's an inside joke!"

"It's not really funny…" Another voice, sounding sleepy beyond compare and yawning like a "…is it?"

"Believe it or not," The mysterious feminine voice, Cassie cuts in. "He's usually the one in charge of the brain-cell. We're smart too, he just has no humor."

"I…" Another yawn, "...resent that."

"Tim just doesn't have that sense of whimsy!" That first boyish voice cuts in, ignoring who Jazz presumes is Tim.

"Does that mean we have to find a Prince?" Another masculine voice, angry and fed up, "In the forest?"

And, well, there's never been a better time for Jazz to stumble ass over kettle into the clearing.

"Jazz!" Her trio yells in greeting, rushing over to her as she rights herself. She blinks.

They're all…a lot smaller than she left them. No matter, hugs first, confusion later. (And crying/yelling much much later after that).

They're small enough for her to hoist all three into her arms, even as she notices the other four dwarves and the…glass coffin housing a fully grown man.

"What the—" Jazz whispers, eyeing the strangers.

"Are you the Prince?" Danny asks, and in this form he reminds her so much of when he was little—she wants to squeal but she won't, she won't.

"I think I am." Jazz answers, putting everyone down as they clamor to introduce the new kids and update her on the situation. Jazz, through years of dealing with her brother's trio, manages to understand and reciprocate the exchange of information.

"So I have to kiss him?" Jazz looks at the man, Dick, in the glass coffin dubiously. "I don't even know him?"

"This might be the first time someone's seen him and not kissed him on sight." Bart jokes, "Or, at least, not wanted to."

"Consent is important." Jazz scrunches up her face in consternation. "I will not subject someone to a kiss when they cannot consent."

"What about a kiss on the…hand?" Tim yawns, desperately trying to stay awake. "Nobody…said you had to kiss him on the…lips."

Jazz makes a face in thought. Hm. "What about you?"

"What…about me?" Jazz gestures at Dick when Tim looks at her in confusion.

"He's your brother, you love him, right?" Jazz picks up the sleeping man's hand. "Nobody said it had to be romantic love. Besides, again, I don't believe in love at first sight. I'm demi."

"Demi like, demigod?" Cassie's brow furrows. "What's that got to do with anything?"

"Demi as in demi-sexual or-" Sam sneezes, "-demi-romantic."

Tim seems to think on that a moment, before shrugging. "I do love him. And I used to have a crush on him when I was little, before I got adopted." He picks up the hand and kisses it lightly.

"Oh dude, same." Connor laughs, turning to them. "I think everyone's had a crush on Dick before."

"Not me!" Cassie harrumphs to Bart's laughter and agreement. "Though I do love the guy."

"That doesn't count!" Connor huffs, "Lesbians and Aces are obviously excluded!"

"I'm Ace…" Tucker shyly raises his hand, making a little eep! sound when everyone turns to him. "And I, uhm, have eyes. He's real pretty…"

"Fairest of them all," Sam sniffles, sort of agreeing. "And all that."

"I think," Danny cuts in, "That you have no choice here Jazz. I'm sorry, but it doesn't seem like Tim's kiss is the solution!"

Jazz eyes the sleeping man once more, pursing her lips. No, she really doesn't think she'll do that. Pretty as he is, he's a stranger. And bodily autonomy is important, even if it's just his hand. It sounds like this guy has a lot of admirers, but nobody's actually said anything about how Dick himself feels about it.

Plus, he definitely looks at least a couple years older than her. Though it's hard to tell when you're in your mid twenties.

"Just think of it this way, Jazz." Danny tries to gently say, "You're saving his life, sort of. Like CPR."

Jazz hums, leaning over the man and observing the man's throat. Hm...

"What's she taking so long for?" Cassie whispers, to which Sam only sneezes in response.

Jazz grabs the man by the shoulders, sitting him up and…whack!

"Jazz!" The chorus of children yell at her, some even grabbing at her but she ignores them.

She gives the man's back another smack! And then another, and another until—

Hack! Dick coughs out the piece of poisoned apple lodged in his throat, taking in deep breaths as Jazz rubs his back in support.

"Th-thanks." Dick wipes at his mouth, smiling up gratefully at Jazz. She smiles back, before stepping away to let Tim and his little friends crowd over Dick and give him hugs.

Sam, Tucker and Danny make their way to Jazz, and they watch the reunion fondly.

"How'd you know that would work?" Danny asks her, laughing as Jazz shrugs.

"In the original fairy tale, the Prince discovers Snow White in her glass coffin and decides to keep her because she's so beautiful." Jazz bares her teeth in disgust. "The guards that were with him were kind of clumsy and dropped the casket on its corner, dislodging the apple piece from Snow White's throat. She wakes up, and then they get married."

"That's…" Tucker whispers, shuddering.

"Yeah." Jazz rubs her arms. "Figured I'd give it a shot. Thankfully it worked."

Just as Dick gets out of the coffin, the world around them starts to waver. The dwarven teenagers flicker until they're bigger, almost glitching into their original sizes and proportions. Sam stops sneezing, Tim stops yawning and falling asleep (though he still sports eyebags the size of Guam), and Danny's little blanket sheet disappears.

Jazz, Dick, and seven 17 year olds suddenly find themselves in the middle of the streets of Bludhaven, in the outdoor seating of the local restaurant all of them were eating at before the whole debacle.

Ghost Writer and Desiree are sitting at one of the tables, having tea.

"Well, that was certainly quick." Ghost Writer mumbles, Desiree groaning as she puts down her cup. "I thought we'd have at least a couple more hours."

"I knew I shouldn't have set win conditions." Desiree pouts. "We were just getting to the good part!"

"Every story has to have some kind of conclusion." Ghost Writer argues, jabbing his mug at her. "Besides, I can just-"

"Yeah. Nope." Danny deadpans, grabbing his backpack and jabbing a hand into the bag. "Fuck you."

Before Ghost Writer Desiree can do more than charge an ecto-blast, Danny pulls out a Fenton Thermos and aims it expertly at the two, sucking them up with very little fuss and muss. Jazz is not jealous or mad about it. At all.

As long as she doesn't have to wear those stupid white tights again, everything is A-OK.

"Well." Dick breathes, putting his hands on his hips like some kind of mom. "That was...anti-climactic."

"What the hell was that?" Tim asks Danny, trying to get a closer look at the thermos, "Is that a thermos?"

Jazz looks up at the restaurant, waving over a sever as she takes a seat and beckons for everyone else to do the same. The others start to squish in a couple tables and take seats.

"I'm sure everyone has questions," Jazz smiles up at the waitress in thanks as she passes out menus. "But first, since it's still…" She checks her watch, "just past three, lets have a late lunch, shall we?"

"As long as there's no apple pie for dessert." Dick laughs, opening up his own menu to peruse.

"As you wish!" Jazz rolls her eyes, grinning. Everyone at the table groans.

A fight between Danny and Skulker within the ghost zone carried them to a section that Danny wasn't familiar with. It was near a floating island that was overgrown much like Skulker's that the two of them suddenly got ambushed by a third party.

The new ghost seemed more interested in fighting Skulker than Danny, and he didn't hesitate at all to pull out a green glowing serated knife and a matching gun. Their snarling and growling was like nothing Danny had heard before and the insults were also a lot more vicious than what Danny ever heard from Skulker.

It was clear to Danny that these two hated each other.

"Whatever!" Skulker twists mid aerial dodge into Danny's direction, "This isn't over whelp, I'll have your pelt next time!" Skulker shouts before promptly flying off.

The new ghost then approaches Danny, all the while sneering at Skulker's retreating form. Talking with the new guy is... uncomfortable, Danny has to carefully navigate the conversation because it seems like the slightest thing sets him off, aka the guy's masked eyes start glowing brighter and get this smokey effect, and the belt of bullet shells he's wearing over his shoulder catches fire.

But Danny learns that the ghost goes by Ravager and that he's the son of the greatest mercenary there is, was, will be (according to him of course).

Danny also learns that Ravager finds his close combat skills to be atrocious and offensive to look at, "your hand to hand is shit. No wonder you're dead," and the next thing he knows he gets dragged towards the floating chunk of land for an impromptu cqc lesson.

Ravager shows him various fighting skills at a cleared stretch of land nearby a half demolished building that looks like it might have been a T shaped tower at one point.

In fact the whole island has the look of a post apocalyptic city, overgrown ruins of buildings everywhere.

When Danny asks, Ravager tells him it suits him just fine like this and with a name like his Danny is inclined to believe him.

Ravager is disappointed that Danny is a hero and some parts of his personality remind him of his younger brother who he rather not think about at all, other parts of Danny remind him of Robin, who he really doesn't want to think about at all.

In the end though, curiosity gets the better of him and he asks Danny if he can take a look around, see if he can find a guy named Deathstroke (very reassuring name) and report back what he's doing nowadays.

Ravager is not happy with what Danny finds out for him.

"So there was this girl and she apparently also goes by Ravager so to be honest, I'm a little confused now"

"He Fucking replaced me!!?!" flames burst out around Ravager as he shoults.

Danny tries to placate, "... okay now, maybe it's more a passing on the torch kinda thing, keeping your memory alive or something?"

"Where is that portal you've talked about, I'm gonna fucking kill him," Yeah this guy is not listening.

"Now that seems like a rash and poorly thought out thing to do, maybe instead-"

But Ravager is done listening and instead he just yoinks Danny with him in his hunt for vengeance.

Meanwhile on the other side Rose is telling Dick and Jason about a spooky white haired meta kid that popped out of nowhere, asked her if she knew where Deathstroke is at and when she attacked him he deflected all her moves as if he'd done it a thousand times before.

Okay so wait you guys all know that thing that teachers or parents do were they forget that they don't have to speak in like a baby voice all the time and accidentally interact with grown adults in the same manner they do with a child right? Okay so imagine that- but with Batman and the Justice League

Like-

Hal and Barry are arguing and suddenly Batman goes, “boys, thats not very nice is it?” in like a kid voice

Or Oliver is complaining about getting patched up after a fight and Batman chides, “You take the hit you gotta take the stitch baby,” 

Or Clark is mumbling something and Bats goes, “Speak up sweetheart, lets use our speech properly yeah?”

Or Diana accidentally punches a man in the face when hes already down. Batman tsks, “Come on darling, what did we talk about? One hit only.”

Or Oliver is leaving for a mission and Dinah kisses him goodbye and then he walks away, only for Batman to go, “Say bye bye!” 

AGDJFDYSGUKSRHGBDF

Just please imagine their faces for me.

And Batman grimaces lightly afterwards every time and just leaves and the League is flabbergasted

Can we have more of “Demon and Angel Brat”? I love those demon twins so much, also I’m wondering how the Phantom family is hadling this, are Sam and Tucker also in to this? Does Jazz approves this prank? (Wondering how Dani or Dan will fut in this too)

Danny gets a phone call.

Damian knew his brother's real life would eventually burst the bubble on their fun, but he was not expecting it to be broken this soon into their prank.

The Fentons, of course, knew of their little joke and had been fine with having to speak to Danny in secret. Since their cover story was that Danny was too sick to be anything but support for the Bats- and even then, he would sometimes head to bed early if he wasn't feeling well- it was easy to find a little corner of the Manor for Danny to call home. Though that was usually at three in the morning, the Fentons didn't seem to mind.

Mr. and Mrs. Fenton even gave ideas to have Danny act out in order to scare the Waynes. Mr. Fenton's favorite was making Drake panic by making Danny suggest they do "Dark Magic" then have it turn out to be harmless fun.

Like claiming to want to make love potions for Dowd and then just making some homemade juice for the teenager. Drake looked like he was having a heart attack when Danny busted out potion bottles and edible glitter.

Mrs Fenton, on the other hand, wanted to focus more on logical details. She asked Danny to make wild claims about what he was allowed to do in the Manor. Since Danny supposedly didn't go out much, she felt that he needed to create great memories around the Manor, and thus Danny convinced whoever happened to be walking by to play games with him.

Thomas had pushed Danny on an office chair for almost four hours while his brother pretended to be an airplane pilot. Damian had later seen Thomas, Brown, and Cain pretending to be a prince and two princess trapped at the top of the stairs as if they were locked away in a tower while Danny fought imaginary knights down below.

He thinks Cain only went along with it because she got to wear a big puffy pink dress. Father had ordered costumes for Danny to play with after his brother got back from the history museum with Todd.

Damian knows Todd and Father were also still attempting to pressure the history museum into installing fake historical events that Danny made up. It wasn't going well, but they were making a decent effort.

Still all this fun had only been over the course of two weeks and that seemed to be far too long for Danny's friends.

Thus, the phone call arrived in the middle of dinner with the entire family twisting towards the "sick" twin. Danny stared at this phone, looking as if he had forgotten it could ring before he clicked the call to connect.

""Excuse me I need to take this." He held it up to his ear while standing from table. "Hey Tuck. What's up?"

Damian watches his brother walk out of the room, tugging along his gas tank and heart pack like it was second nature. The large dining room door closes behind him with a soft click, and a few blissful of seconds follow, before everyone starts demanding answers.

"Who's Tuck?" Ricard accused as Damian dabbed his mouth with napkin "Why is this Tuck calling Danny?"

Now Damian could say the truth, could make it easier on his brother and the family, even he liked a laugh every once in a while. After all he was a twin to a mischievous prankster.

"Tuck, is Danny's ridiculous nickname for Tucker Foley. He's Danny's ex" Damian revealed with a hand wave. The family's faces darken (except for Cain and Alfred. One because she knows he's lying, and the other because he thinks it's healthy to date) "Danny broke up with him after their summer fling, and now Foley is dating their other friend, Samantha Manson. Between you and I, Foley and Manson are carrying a torch for Danny and are likely attempting to include them in a throuple."

"I want everything you can find on Tucker Foley and Samantha Manson," Father snaps at Drake, who already had his tablet out and typing a storm on his travel keyboard. Thankfully, Danny had gotten Gordon to fake a Gotham tech camp so his two friends could visit him in the city soon.

It was so Damian could get to know his friends and so that all three could have a break from ghost hunting, but this would be entertaining to watch.

Damian sips his tea, watching Brown and Todd hiss threats under their breaths while Thomas actively cracks his knuckles. He only did that when he was feeling particularly violent.

Drake lets out a noise that he has only ever heard him make when he's about to blow up a building. He twists his tablet around, banging his other hand on the tabletop aggressively. "Bruce, I think things with Foley were more serious than is appropriate for Danny. He's only fourteen!"

It took every ounce of his training not to burst out laughing. On Drake's tablet is a photo of Danny and Foley cuddling while asleep on the floor. It was posted by Manson with the caption "We made some interesting discoveries tonight!"

He knows she meant the purple back gorilla, but the poor girl just didn't have a way with words like she thought she did.

It's that moment that Danny wanders back in, wearing his normal bright and innocent smile. "Tucker and Sam are coming to Gotham. They want to hang out with me at Lover's Lane!"

Damian slams a hand over his mouth, just barely stopping himself from spewing his tea across the table as his family bristles. Lover's Lane was the best spot in all of Gotham to see the city's lights and had some of the best public gardens. A sight people from a small town like Amity Park would adore to see.

It also earned the nickname Lover's Lane for a very obvious reason, but Damian feels Danny has forgotten that part.

"You are not-"

"-Going to want to meet them wearing the same old clothes. Why don't I take you shopping after you finish eating Master Danny" Alfred cuts father off mid rant, sending everyone a stern glare when the family's all look ready to argue "After all, if your friends who clearly remember how much fun they have with you, it would be a pity to have them erase those good memories with a wardrobe malfunction."

Damian should tell his father to give that man a raise.