Okay so wait you guys all know that thing that teachers or parents do were they forget that they don't have to speak in like a baby voice all the time and accidentally interact with grown adults in the same manner they do with a child right? Okay so imagine that- but with Batman and the Justice League
Like-
Hal and Barry are arguing and suddenly Batman goes, “boys, thats not very nice is it?” in like a kid voice
Or Oliver is complaining about getting patched up after a fight and Batman chides, “You take the hit you gotta take the stitch baby,”
Or Clark is mumbling something and Bats goes, “Speak up sweetheart, lets use our speech properly yeah?”
Or Diana accidentally punches a man in the face when hes already down. Batman tsks, “Come on darling, what did we talk about? One hit only.”
Or Oliver is leaving for a mission and Dinah kisses him goodbye and then he walks away, only for Batman to go, “Say bye bye!”
AGDJFDYSGUKSRHGBDF
Just please imagine their faces for me.
And Batman grimaces lightly afterwards every time and just leaves and the League is flabbergasted
I have an idea for a Merlin fic but life is chaos so I cannot write it:
So for whatever reason Arthur is away (probably visiting some Lord or Nobel House) and Merlin stays behind (who knows why).
Uthers manservant is ill so he requests Merlin (after all he’s the crown prince’s manservant he should be good enough for the king).
Merlin is now stuck as Uthers servant for a week and I really want to see Merlin try to wake the King up with “rise and shine!! :D”
He talks too much and is entirely too familiar with the King, taking liberties and speaking out of turn, mentioning Arthur by name and not title, is always late with lunch but somehow…
Uther finds him fascinating. He knows Merlin is completely loyal to Arthur (he said so himself in the show). He understands Merlin hears castle gossip like most staff, but he is actually able to understand the significance behind the rumours. Merlin is also trusted by the knights and has insight into the lords and ladies of the court. He sees things, he hears things. Uther can use this
As a physician in training, he is able to treat Uthers old knee injury, and he is clearly learned. He can read and write better than some of the noblemen he’s met. One day Uther enters his chambers and finds Merlin bent over the desk looking over the grain reports “did you notice Lord Chester had been underreporting his grain storage for three years and is selling it under the table to a foreign king?”
Merlin is a terrible manservant…but Uthers clothing had never been cleaner, his armour so polished, his bathwater so hot and his notes so organised. Merlin is continuously late and covered in mud or moss, but somehow Uther finds he doesn’t mind as long as Merlin keeps feeding him important castle gossip.
Arthur gets Merlin back at the end of the week, and Merlin can finally breathe (he’s been a nervous wreck for the last seven days). Uthers servant recovers and the King has a functional servant again as is befitting his station.
But Uther is now willing to overlook some of Merlin’s …ridiculousness and familiarity with Arthur…after all, he’s realised Merlin does have some uses, even though he’s always late with breakfast.
Scenes like this:
“You’re the clumsiest excuse for a servant I’ve ever met!”
“Yes, Arthur says I have the elegance of a newborn lamb”
“Why is there a twig in your hair? It’s unbefitting of your station as servant of the King”
“I fell asleep in a ditch, anyways have you heard Lady Carteret has been seen buying hemlock at the apothecary? I’m sure Lord Carteret is soon to be missing, poor sod”
“Can you never bring me my breakfast on time?!”
“Sorry Sire, the poison tester died this morning after drinking your tea, so I had to brew it myself, and we’re in need of a new poison tester. And in totally unrelated news Lord Milder was seen fleeing the castle”
“Rise and shine!! The sun is up and you should be too!”
“Is this really how you wake your King? And where the hell is my breakfast!”
“Well Arthur usually throws a pillow at me even though it’s my job to wake him in the morning - that lazy arse!”
Dick: I made a mistake
Jason: What you do?
Dick: It's bad
Tim: How bad?
Dick: I think Bruce is going to take me out of the trust fund bad
Damian: Worry no, Richard, for I shall care for you when you are old, wrinkled, and gross. I have more than enough funds for both of us.
Dick: Thanks Dami
Jason: So what'd you do?
Dick: Remember Danny Phantom? That ghost hero that saved the planet from an asteroid?
Tim: Yeah, he does good, clean work. Bruce considered offering him a spot in the Justice League before he suddenly announced he planned to retire from the hero scene.
Dick: I slept with him.
Damian: I beg your pardon?
Dick: And I left before he could wake up the following day, ignored all his calls 'cause he was my rebound when Kori and I split and haven't seen him in almost five years. I just saw him.
Jason: Alright, he's your ex, and you ran into him. He's probably mad at you since that was a bit shitty. But that's not too bad; I don't think Bruce will disown you-
Dick: Yeah turns out Phantom isn't a human ghost. I don't know what he is, but he is a different species, which means his kind reproduces differently, and he was walking hand in hand with a miniature version of me. A version that was five years old. I stole some of the kid's hair, and well.....I have a son I never knew about because I blocked Danny after our one night since I got what I wanted from him.
Tim/Jason: .....
Damian: I regret to inform you, Deadbeat, that no funds are available for you. Or ever. You will die alone. Hungry and scared.
Dick: Trust me I know I deserve that. God! What am I going to do!?
Meanwhile clear across the city
Dan: Are you sure no one will notice me overshadowing this body?
Danny: Nah, it's a failed cloning experiment between me and my ex. It never had a soul. Think of it like it's a meat suit. If anything, I can just keep telling people you're my son.
Dan: Why did you try to clone your ex anyway?
Danny: I'm bored Dan. I'm so bored, there is nothing for me to do now that I retired Phantom.
Dan: That's fair. Boredom is the worst. That's why I choose to visit the human world, though it is weird to be corporal after all this time.
Danny: Do you miss being a halfa?
Dan: Sometimes. But I brought upon myself, I did kill my human side, so I appreciate you leaning me the meat suit. Now tell me about that ex.
Danny: Ancients, where do I even start. His mullet? Blagh! His diet? Blagh!
Dan: He hot?
Danny: So hot.
Dan: Nice.
Damian: *walks by Tim's room*
Damian: *goes in*
Tim:
Damian: *knocks stuff off the dresser*
Damian: *turns off the lights*
Damian: *leaves the door open*
Danny finds out that
1. He's a clonish 'love child' of two heroes
2. He was accidentally created during one of his donors mental break downs after losing his father and best friends (one of which was his other donor)
3. CW interfered before his creator realized what he made and pulled him out of that dimension because "it would had lead that world to true ruin if he found out at his state of mind. He's better now but it would had been the final straw for him should anything had happened to you in his care and given who he had to partner up with later... I did what I had to."
4. Due to Danny having a bad fall out with his parents after he told them about being Phantom (they didn't attack him... but they did disown him.) Danny is left adrift of what to do. He doesn't wanna bug Jazz, she's in college and dorming. Tuckers place has no room. Sam's parents would never let him stay. Vlad was a definitely a no go. And Dani (Ellie) last check in was near the Amazon rainforest.
5. Danny finds out some of his powers might not be as ghostly as he thought... it does explain the huge power boost some of his powers have compared to other ghosts.
6. He went to Clockwork... who proceeded to tell him the truth, smile his cryptic smile while saying "and now. Have fun this time around. I'll see you again in due time Daniel." Before yeeting him into a portal.
7. Danny woke up in his home dimension.... deaged to being five years old (the age he would be if he stayed and grew by now) (DC timeline is slower than DP in this)
8. He woke up apparently his creator's home city... during a Gala (Danny woke up in a garden, dazed and confused. His memories are fuzzy)... and wandered into the party... and apparently he looked like a perfect mix of his.. dads? Which catches A LOT of peoples attention.
9. Especially with Tim Drake-Wayne and Conner Kent-Luthor just announcing they're dating that very night.
10. Rumors and gossip of a random kid, who looks just like the recent happily announced couple, go flying quickly among the elite... and reaches certain ears before it gets to batfam and supers (I have a feeling they learned how to block out rumors and gossips during these events)
11. Those ears happen to be Lex Luthor and Ra's al Ghul (both who are there at the Gala just to annoy and unnerve the Bats and Supers)
12. By the time the rumors get to Tim and Conner, they find Danny almost getting taken away by one of those two.
So basically, Dick makes a group chat for the minorities in the family because sometimes Bruce just doesn’t get it you know?
And Danny? Started going to school in Gotham. That’s it.
Dick created a group chat.
Dick renamed the group chat “The Minority Chat”
Dick: Okay everyone, if you don’t have a reason to stay, leave.
Dick: Nobody left.
Tim: Well yeah, Dick. All of us are minorities.
Damian: Yes, I have to agree with Drake. For example, I am half Arabic.
Duke: I’m black.
Cass: …
Babs: I’m disabled.
Steph: Teen pregnancy.
Tim: RAMCOA
Dick: Well what about you Jason?
Jason: I fucking died bro.
Dick renamed the group chat “Sib Chat”
This group chat went on to become the best way for them to vent to each other about Bruce and share memes to each other. They also sometimes randomly kick someone out so the others can stalk them. This time it was Damian’s turn.
Duke has removed Damian from “Sib Chat”
Duke: Guys I just saw the weirdest shit on patrol today.
Cass: ?
Babs: With Damian? He’s meant to be at school today.
Tim: He’s there, his tracker hasn’t moved locations.
Steph: When did you sneak a tracker onto Damian?
Tim: Don’t worry about it.
Duke: Don’t worry he is at school. But get this. I saw him eating his lunch outside. And he was talking to someone. AND SMILING.
Cass: 😮
Tim: Was it his “I’m gonna kill this guy while he’s sleeping” smile?
Duke: NO
Tim: Oh shit
Babs: Did you see who it was? I can run a background check.
Duke: No. But I will keep you posted. Where are Jason and Dick btw?
Babs: Dick is sleeping and Jason got shot.
Duke: Oh okay. Don’t let him administer his own Dilaudid.
Babs: Trust me, I won’t.
A few weeks later
Duke has removed Damian from “Sib Chat”
Babs: Please tell me you got info
Duke: I do. And it’s weird
Jason: Don’t tell me Dami got a SO and didn’t tell me?!
Duke: God I hope not.
Cass: ???
Steph: Spill the tea macho man
Duke: Recognized the backpack from last time. I saw the kid Dami was all smiley with at a coffee shop and I shit you not, he looks like if Damian was white.
Jason: The fuck does that mean?
Duke: IM TELLING YOU! He was Damian but white!
Steph: What would that even look like?
Cass: 🤔
Jason: I’ll believe it when I see it.
6 hours later after dark
Jason: Holy shit you were right.
Duke: YOU SAW HIM TOO?!
Jason: That was terrifying.
Dick: Wait this isn’t a joke? I thought Duke was pulling our leg-
Damian: What are you two rambling on about?
Tim: Nothing. Absolutely nothing.
Damian: I do not believe you.
Cass: …
Damian: Fine. I will not interrogate you all. I am going to get ready for patrol anyways.
Dick has removed Damian from “Sib Chat”
Dick: I wasn’t paying attention until now so you all better tell me everything.
So! Danny works by Fae Rules, Names and all, but he has no idea about that because he was forced to run away from Home (and the Ghost portal) before his Ghostly Education could be completed.
He runs to Gotham and eventually gets a job at Starbucks, or some other Cafe.
He has to ask the question "Could I get your name please?" A LOT while working there. And unintentionally steals hundreds of Names by the end of his first day, much less a week or a month into his job.
One day, Constantine visits Gotham for a Meeting with Batman, but by the time he gets to the Meeting Point he has bigger issues to discuss.
"Why the hell does half of your City belong to a Fae Lord?!"
I love Danny Phantom and DC crossovers but I think there is a very overlooked possibility there would be so good and I don't think I ever saw it being done. Danny being in the og Young Justice from the 90s. He would just fit there so well and match their own brand of chaos perfectly. And they share the same lack of respect for authorities and lack of adult supervision.
We have a teenager ghost hero who was kidnapped by the USA government for experimental purposes. I Really need to see Secret and Phantom bond, maybe they were held in the captivity by the GIW and the DEO at the same time and meet there, maybe they can runaway together.
LOOK AT THIS! it look like it was made so they can have a crossover! I KNOW I'M NOT CRAZY
The DEO saying Secret has no rights because she is dead, the potential for angst.
Secret having a hard time because she was the only one there without a mentor or being a legacy, but here she could bond with Danny because they have so much in common, and they can understand each other.
I just want to see Danny being besties with Secret (maybe even more? I can see they have a more romantic relationship too)
Is just... There is so much potential and Danny and I couldn't stop thinking about it
Billy is NEVER beating the dead wife alagations - basically, the Justice League and young justice have a small party to commemorate new members joining, including Miss Marvel and Marvel Jr!
*The party had been going on for a while, people asking questions to new recruits and talking with friends. The Marvel kids were off to the side*
Hal: Miss Marvel and Jr! So good to see you, Me and Barry were wondering, how does your mom feel about the whole, you know - you two doing hero work?
Miss Marvel: *misunderstands and thinks they mean her and Captain Marvel* Oh! Uh, I'm sorry, our mom died before we started on our hero work
Barry: I'm so sorry we asked!
Miss Marvel: it's fine! I really don't mind!
*awkward silence fills the air*
Hal: *coughs* So um.. how did she die-
Barry: Hal, what is wrong with you!
Miss Marvel: Ah- She was, well killed on an archeological dig.. *looks away*
Hal: I'm sorry for asking geez- wait. What do you mean killed?
Miss Marvel: Oh, yeah, her, assistant or something.. um, I forgot his name..
Marvel Jr.: *looks up from his cup* Adam, something I think.
Hal an Barry internally: (Adam.. Adam.. that sounds familiar..? ... BLACK ADAM??? DID BLACK ADAM KILL MARVELS WIFE??)
Barry: Well, I think I heard Superman call our names, so we need to go. I'll see you later, kids! *grabs Hal by the arm speed walking away*
*the justice league rumor Mill ran its course, and the next week, Black Adam was jumped multiple times*
It's getting to the point where he opened his mouth to sing in the shower, and he cracked the wall with his voice.
If he tries to use it in human form, it physically damages him. It's a "ghost form" only power, now.
To mitigate any potential incidents, he starts to talk less and less.
The school, usually uncaring of anyone not an athlete, notices.
They assume abuse.
How could they not? Bruises he refuses to explain, developing selective mutism, shying away from his parents?
Danny's horrified when Social Services is waiting for him in the principals office one day, and even more horrified that they're accusing his parents of abuse.
They aren't!
It's just his stupid body!
Thinking fast, he scrambles to write down a bullshit excuse, and lands on;
'I'm a meta like Black Canary, but way, way stronger! I can't talk or I'll hurt someone! The bruises are from like my parent's inventions and also me throwing myself into walls with my power! They don't know!'
Which leads to some uncomfortable talks about whether or not he feels safe enough at home, if there's a reason he didn't tell his parents, etc.
Then there was the whole thing of asking if he was lying, and Danny, annoyed and tired and ready to prove a point, just said
"No I'm not." In a normal voice, promptly bursting a few eardrums and shattering any glass.
Eventually he and the Social Workers come to a compromise; he does feel safe enough to tell his parents, and he will, and also Social Services will reach out to the Justice League to see about getting him some training from an official hero, especially if his Voice is that dangerous.
And that's how Danny ends up as the only civilian allowed in Titan's Tower; his access card sends out an alert so all the teen heroes keep their masks on, he has a zeta installed in Amity just for him, and he has to train with them. He also has special training instructions from Black Canary herself.