When In Metropolis ; A Not Fic

when in metropolis ; a not fic

Quiet day in Metropolis with clean up almost complete from the latest alien attack where a scout group of warring aliens got spit out a black hole into the Milky Way and somehow honed in on Superman specifically to make his life worse.

Clark is enjoying a cup of coffee during a break, chilling on the roof while Lois texts him for help spelling words which he answers promptly because he’s a good husband.

He hears something strange. Something like… whirring? Buzzing? Like if bees were getting electrocuted on a dance floor next to a washing machine that’s breaking down mid-load.

‘Please No,’ thinks Clark, who doesn’t wanna do shit on his roof coffee break.

‘Lol Yes,’ says the universe and a section of the sky above Metropolis splits open. This gaping maw of dizzying green swirls and crackling electricity can only mean Bad News.

Clark is gone. Superman is in his place in 0.2 seconds. He sends one last text to Lois, correcting her spelling of catastrophe followed by a quick explanation of why he’s disappearing.

That explanation being gotta go check out the hole in the sky brb

CLARK???? she texts back but it’s too late. Clark’s gotta go.

He flies up to the area around the hole, which is large but has stopped growing. He can probably rule out the possibility of it trying to eat the city below him, but better to be safe than sorry.

Below him, Clark can hear people shouting in alarm, cars honking as people come to abrupt stops to stare up at the sky. There are multiple shutter sounds of photos being taken. When he glances down, he can spot Jimmy leaning almost all the way out of the window of the 13th floor of the Daily Planet, two seconds away from falling to his death. Luckily, behind him is Cat who is holding onto the back of his shirt, swearing up a storm as she tries to pull him back in before he breaks his own neck for a good shot of the hole in the sky.

He makes a little mental note to get her a nice pastry as thanks for saving Jimmy while he’s otherwise occupied. She could definitely use it, given how her week’s been going.

The hole makes more strange noises. Like it’s gurgling. Like someone’s stomach when they’re really, really hungry. It’s kinda gross, honestly. Clark backs away from it a bit, eyeing the hole warily.

Abruptly, the hole glows brighter, hisses, and spits out a boy.

Oh Shit, thinks Clark but he’s already moving, swooping down to catch the boy before he can plummet into Metropolis.

A quick look at his face tells him that this boy is Queasy to a dangerous degree and Clark quickly flies him just outside city limits and sets him gently onto the ground. Out of danger for now, and the hole closing up quietly and disappearing, gives Clark time to properly look at the boy and process what he’s seeing.

So. This kid is probably an alien, right?

He’s got white hair that’s moving around like he’s underwater. His eyes glow green, he’s semi-translucent, wearing a skin-tight hazmat suit with a symbol on it that looks like a D and P stuck together, and most importantly, Clark can’t hear any organs inside the kid’s body.

Like. None at all. No heart. No lungs. Not even any blood.

“You alright, kid?” Clark asks, because even if this kid is an alien, being spit out of a hole in the sky is probably upsetting for anyone.

The kid doesn’t answer because he looks green in the face, expression twisted up into a grimace, eyes slightly glazed over. “Mrph,” he manages to mumble out, then claps a hand over his mouth.

Alarmed, Clark moves to the side so he’s not about to get puked on, and rests a hand on the kid’s back. “Easy now, head between your knees and take deep breaths for me.”

The kid follows his instructions well, so he probably knows English. That’s good. Clark pats his back as the kid takes deep breaths that make his thin frame shudder. It’s a few minutes before he’s able to sit up, looking much more composed and less likely to hurl on anything that bothers him.

“Feeling alright now?” Clark asks.

The kid gives him a weak smile. “Yeah, thanks. That sucked. I’ve never felt so motion sick in my life.”

“Do you know what happened?”

“Not really? I got sucked into some kind of…. Ecto whirlpool, I think, but it kinda rattled my brain and I am having so much trouble focusing right now. Where am I?”

There’s a lot Clark wants to say to that, but he holds it back. He’s got a question to answer, after all. “We’re just outside Metropolis. A hole in the sky spit you out then closed right back up.”

“Metropolis?” the kid repeats doubtfully. “Isn’t that just calling this place ‘City City’?”

Clark has no idea how to respond to that. 

The kid doesn’t care. He looks at Clark, properly takes him in, and tilts his head. “Nice costume?”

“...Thanks.” 

He’s about to explain that he’s Superman™ and the costume helps people be less afraid of him when he arrives to help in disasters and other such situations but the kid has already moved on.

“I hope I can get enough signal to call my parents,” he mutters, pulling an old, clunky flip phone out of his chest. Clark blinks and tries very very hard not to react. “Nope. No signal. Oh well, my parents will come pick me up eventually. Sorry for crashing into you, and thanks for catching me!”

The kid gets up and flies away. 

Clark quickly flies after him.

“Hey, kid!”

“It’s Danny!”

“Okay, Danny! Can you stop for a second?”

Danny stops and Clark floats in front of him. “Do you have someplace to stay while you wait for your parents? Any family friends are guardians around here?” It’s a long shot, since he really doubts someone that got spit out of a green hole in the sky has any connections on Earth, but he’d like to believe that something could be easily resolved for once in his life.

Clark should have punted his hopes out a window because Danny shakes his head. “Nah, I was just gonna fly around and pass the time until my parents get here.”

He bites back on the concerned question of what if your parents can’t come and you’re stuck here for the rest of your life?

Don’t freak the kid out Clark, that’s a terrible way to be a Responsible Adult.

“Why don’t you stick with me until your parents get you? It’s a dangerous world out there, especially to people who aren’t human.”

“...I am human.”

“Humans can’t fly like us Danny.”

 “Well, what does that make you, then? A ghost?”

Why a ghost, of all things? What a strange comparison. Clark shakes his head. “No, I’m Kryptonian.”

“I don’t know what that is.”

“I’m a refugee alien from the planet Krypton. One of the last of my kind.”

Danny Lights Up. Literally, he glows and gets really bright. “An alien!” he shouts, as if he, too, is not an alien.

This leads to a long back and forth where Danny shoots off questions about space and alien culture that Clark really isn’t fit to handle, having grown up on Earth, and Clark struggling to get the conversation back on track, which Danny doesn’t care for at all.

This is somehow more exhausting than a physical fight. Teenagers are stressful.

The impromptu Interrogation On Aliens comes to an end when Danny winces and puts a hand on his stomach.

Clark is on High Alert. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, just hungry,” Danny says. Which is strange because as far as Clark knows, this kid doesn’t have a stomach. Or any other organs.

“Want me to buy you a sandwich?”

Danny squints at him. “I feel like I’m not supposed to accept food from strangers.”

“I don’t think you have a choice when everyone on this planet is a stranger to you.”

“Fair point. I’m in the mood for chicken wings. Know a good place for that?”

Clark and Danny get chicken wings. He’s sure social media must be having a field day from the amount of people snapping pictures of Superman babysitting an alien teenager. Lois is never gonna let him live this down.

In fact, when he focuses, he can hear her talking to Perry about where he is.

“Yeah, he really shouldn’t try new types of coffee,” she’s saying. “It really messes with his stomach. Smallville’s gonna be on that toilet for days.”

I Love My Wife, he tells himself firmly. I Love My Wife And I Am Not Stealing All Her Left Socks When I Get Home.

He is going to eat the pudding she’s been saving because, frankly, Clark deserves it more right now.

Chicken wings can only occupy Danny for so long. As soon as he’s had his fill, Danny’s up and flying around, eyes wide at the skyscrapers that make up Metropolis’s downtown area. He looks like any other tourist, if you take out the flying, glowing alien boy part.

Sighing, Clark follows along.

This is what Superman does. He saves the world and then babysits easily distracted teenager aliens. 

He bets Batman never has to do this.

Batman has to raise gleefully destructive teenagers who like to wage psychological warfare on him to pass the time, so you know what? Clark’s happy to babysit Danny.

A few times, he hears a cry from help and grabs Danny to fly over. Danny is given strick instructions to stay in the air and not interfere while Clark helps people. 

This means stopping a mugging, scaring off a group of low level gangsters who cornered a doctor on her day off, and stopping two car accidents. 

Danny polite applauds him when he flies back up to join.

“You’re like a real superhero,” he says.

“I am a real superhero,” Clark replies. 

It doesn’t matter, Danny’s moving on already.

Danny starts asking more and more questions about Metropolis. He’s fascinated by the big city, from the high rises of corporate hell to the gritty underbelly where gangs roam and weapons pass through too many hands. There are places all around being rebuilt after the last alien attack, and the hospital they pass by has a bunch of pictures of Superman, drawn in crayon by the children on that floor, all taped to the windows facing out so he can see them.

Clark is a grown man who’s seen a lot of shit. He’s died once. And come back. Been brainwashed too many times to count and stopped the end of the world multiple times. He can handle a lot.

But that does make him want to curl up and cry because it’s so sweet.

Danny starts comparing Metropolis to where he’s from. Clark listens carefully and tucks all that information away to pick through later.

Oddly enough, everything Danny describes sounds rather… midwestern. Very American.

When the sun starts to set, a whole chorus of gasps catch his attention. Clark whirls around to see what new crisis is occurring only to spot the green hole ripped into the sky appear once more.

Danny brightens and goes flying over. 

Clark follows, Stressed As Fuck.

He has a dreadful vision of a whole horde of teenage aliens tumbling out of the hole trying to rescue Danny. And he’s gonna have to look after all of them. Lois better come up with a really good excuse for why he can’t come in the next few days.

It’s not a teenager that comes out of the hole, but a whole ass space ship.

“My parents are here!” Danny announces cheerfully as a small white vehicle that resembles a space shuttle drops out of the hole and hovers above Metropolis. 

‘Please NO,’ Clark thinks despairingly.

The universe doesn’t have to say anything in response because Danny’s parents do it for him.

The top hatch of the ship pops open and a large man (bigger than Clark, who the hell is bigger than Superman™????)  gets his whole upper body out and waves his arms in the air with a grin on his face. “Danny, my boy!” he bellows.

Danny wastes no time and zooms over to crash into the giant, who easily gathers him into a hug.

Clark floats over slowly, cautiously, testing the waters. He doesn’t need to because Danny’s already talking him up, but a little caution never hurt. 

The giant man lets go of Danny, then disappears into the ship. He’s quickly replaced by a normal sized woman, pushing a pair of red tinted googles up her forehead. She also hugs Danny and Clark hears her say, “Well, at least we know the tracker works!”

He’s just. Not going to think about that. Thanks.

Then she asks more questions that he’d expect from a mother: what happened, are you okay, how are you feeling, did anyone try to hurt you, etc.

Danny assures her that he’s fine, he was just motion sick from being sucked into an ecto whirlpool and his head’s still a little fuzzy but that’s normal after he hits his head.

“Oh, honey, that sounds like a concussion,” the woman says.

“It’s fine, it barely hurt!”

“It’s still brain damage, Danny.”

“Oh yeaaaaaaaah.”

Then attention is suddenly on Clark and the sharp light in her eyes feels distinctly threatening. But her smile is warm as she extends a hand and Clark was raised with manners, okay, he has to return a handshake.

“Thank you for looking after my son,” she says, giving his hand a firm shake. “I’m Dr. Fenton.”

“Call me Superman, and no trouble at all, ma’am,” he replies. “I’m glad you were able to come pick him up.”

“Yes, Jack and I had prepared to face this possibility, so we knew just what to do when we lost track of Danny. Now that we’ve got this tunnel on the map, we can visit in the future, so if you ever need any help, call for the Fentons!” Then she looks down in the ship, yells, “Jack!” and a thick walkie-talkie looking device is tossed up into her waiting hand.

She gives it to Clark. He takes it to be polite.

“We have to get going now, but it’s nice to meet you!”

Danny floats into the ship. As in, he density shifts and just. Goes in through the wall. Good for him. Dr. Fenton ducks back down into the ship and the giant replaces her to give him a hearty pat on the shoulder. 

“Give us a visit if you ever end up in our neck of the woods!” he says brightly. “Any friend of Danny’s is a friend of ours!”

Clark nods and that’s enough for the giant to duck back into the ship. A moment later, he sees all three of them waving to him from the cockpit, and then the ship turns and flies back into the hole in the sky, which closes up after them.

Clark looks at the device in his hand. He looks at the sun setting on Metropolis. He goes home. He deserves a nap.

Pudding first, though. Lois will forgive him if he tells her all about what happened.

And the next time Brianiac attacks, she’ll shout something into the walkie-talkie and a hole will rip open in the sky above Metropolis ten minutes later, dropping Danny and Dr. Fenton, dressed in some sort of cyberpunk astronaut suit armor, right on top of Brainic to help him finish up the fight much faster and with much less property destruction.

He gets them both a slice of Ma’s apple pie as thanks.

And as Midwesterners, they return a day later with some absolutely delicious fudge.

Clark is a man of honor. He gets to planning on what he’ll need to make the best berry tart this side of the Mississippi has ever seen to give to the Fentons.

All in all, life is pretty good in Metropolis.

“What the hell kind of name is Superman?” Sam asks.

Clark, in the middle of talking to Perry, sneezes so loudly half the office turns to stare at him.