Masterpost Of Masterposts

That's MY Mom!!!

This was not at all even the fifth time that Danny Fenton had been kidnapped, but usually it was just Vlad kidnapping him so he had never really needed to be all that concerned about it. The thing was that since he had gone with his sister on her small journey to look at colleges. It had been going fairly well, Jazz was pretty excited. Even better Dan and Dani had opted to join them and make it a Family Road Trip. He was so happy to spend time with his children and sister away from Amity Park that he could admit he got complacent.

Things might have been fine if he hadn't been taken by a group of weirdos with makeup caked on and thus unable to slip away without revealing himself. He was quite annoyed, especially with the cheap clown knockoff that he was at least 99% sure wasn't even licensed to be clowning. He was obnoxious and talked a lot about bats, games, and making everyone smile despite clearly having no talent. Danny could have probably waited this guy out, but it seemed his children noticed his sudden absence before this idiot wrapped up whatever stupid show he was trying to put on. Danny couldn't transform or use his powers while they were recording as his existence was still illegal.

Danny really didn't have to worry about exposing himself though, his two wild natured clone children had not taken his kidnapping well and even less so the recording. Dani's ability to create portals for travel had been utilized to transport herself and Dan, already fully transformed, to his location thanks to their familial soul bond. Dan was all fury and fire as he tore through the portal and practically mauled the clown like a feral badger.

"DON'T TOUCH MY MOM!!" Dan shrieked in a somewhat trauma induced haze.

Danny could almost taste his fear. Dan had already violently and suddenly lost one family, it had taken him so long to allow himself to form new familial bonds and build what he had with Jazz, Dani, and Danny himself. Sure the direction of those bonds had been unexpected, but he had been more than happy to accept the new bond not just between he and Dan but Dani as well whole heartedly. Danny hated to see his sweet son so distraught.

"Tear his soul out! Rip it up!" Dani shouted, just as violently angry and shaken as her physically younger but mentally older brother.

Dani had been just as violent in tearing through the group of thugs that had been present. There were only about seven of them and a few tried to shoot the two ghost children, but obviously you can't shoot a ghost without the right equipment. Dani was fast and Dan was merciless.

"Wait! Wait stop!" Danny shouted suddenly, desperately trying to stop their decent into what he knew would be a painfully dark path for them.

"But he hurt you! They stole you from us!" Dani flinched a little her tone a little miserable as she yanked the ropes from his body setting him free.

"He deserves to be ripped apart molecule by molecule!" Dan snarled slamming the clown's mangled body into the concrete floor of the warehouse.

"Come here, you don't need to ruin your whole life over one no-name thug with zero taste and his little brainless pets." Danny spoke softly to them and held out his arms.

Dan grit his teeth his eyes flaring red as he dropped the shattered clown. He rushed into Danny's arms, Dani also throwing herself into the hug. Danny could feel Dan and Dani feeling out their bond to ensure his health and mood, he resonated all his love and adoration to his children, grateful for their presence. Dan's breath shuddered and Dani sniffled a little, Danny kissed each of their foreheads gently.

"It's alright my starlights. I'm still here, I won't leave you." Danny spoke to them softly. "C'mon, let's get out of here before the cops come to try and dissect you for being illegal."

The two nodded and all three went invisible before vanishing from the warehouse completely. Of course the bats arrived only a moment later.

Please let me do my job

Danny somehow manages to get a job working as a server during a gala event. The uniform sucks, but he wasn’t about to complain when he was desperate for any job right now. He had to flee from Amity after his parents discovered that he was Phantom with almost nothing, but the clothes on his back. So the uniform was definitely worth it with how much he was getting paid. 

What wasn’t worth it though was the amount of rich fruitloops that have approached him. Everytime he turned around someone was there and wanted to ask him questions. Asking things like why he was dressed as a server, and calling him by the name of Tim. It wasn't hard to figure out that everyone thought he was Tim Drake-Wayne. 

He knows that the Waynes are known for black hair and blue eyes, but for him to be getting this much attention for it is just getting ridiculous at this point. Danny would have just brushed it under the rug as it being a rich people are just weird thing. If it hadn’t been for the fact that Dick Grayson, the oldest Wayne child, had grabbed him coming out of the kitchen and into a secluded area. 

“Tim, what are you doing; why are you dressed as a server? Everyone here knows your face, now is not the time to be going undercover!” Dick whispers while looking for anyone that might be watching them. “Go change back into your normal clothes. Well talk about whatever this is back in the cave ok?” 

The fact that Tim Drake goes undercover was probably not something Danny was supposed to know. Also, did he say cave? As in the Bat-Cave? A rock settles in Danny stomach as he realizes that the Wayne's are the bats. Which is definitely not something he should know.

Before Danny can think of anything to say that will get him out of this situation without any problems a voice is already calling out, "Dick! What are you doing back here?"

The owner of the voice is of course none other than Tim Drake himself. This wasn’t going to end well Danny thought to himself as he watch Dick looked between himself and Tim.

How did this become his life.

The IRS

Billy doesn’t pay taxes. Anything related to taxes, he doesn’t know about.

M’gann: “What’s an IRS?”

Kid Flash “They’re these guys who collect taxes.”

M’gann: “Really? I’ve never paid taxes before. Are they gonna come after me?” *sounds slightly concerned*

Kid Flash: “Maybe-”

Marvel: *comes out of the kitchen with cookies* “No, they’re not. M’gann, the IRS isn’t real.”

M’gann: “It isn’t?”

Marvel: “Yeah, it isn’t. Wally’s just pulling your leg.”

Kid Flash: “Uh… no, no I’m not… Marvel you do know IRS is real, right? It’s important to me that you know that.”

Marvel: “Well, they’ve never come for me and I haven’t paid a single tax in my life.”

Kid Flash: *sounds completely concerned* “That means you’re committing tax fraud.”

Later…

YJ and Marvel: *all huddled around Tim who’s hunched over a computer*

Marvel: “Why’s is everyone here?”

Robin!Tim: “What do you mean, Cap? This is a celebratory moment. We didn’t even know you could commit a crime, yet here we are.” *typing on computer*

Marvel: “Why’d you pull up C.C. Batson?”

Robin!Tim: “Cap, you’re not exactly hiding your face. Anyone could find out who you were if they just dug a little deeper than the surface.”

Artemis: “Your name is C.C.?” *tries to see the computer*

Robin!Tim: “Charles actually.”

Zatanna: “You look like a Charles.”

Marvel: “I do? Huh. Well, anyways, I’ve been legally pronounced dead so I shouldn’t have to pay them right?”

Robin!Tim: “Well, you’re alive now. That means that you technically faked your death and that also technically means that you’re committing tax fraud so…” *types on computer* “You should owe 5 billion to the IRS.”

Marvel: *sounds completely devastated* “WHAT?”

Aqualad: “How could he possibly have racked up that much?”

Robin!Tim: “Well, Cap’s been “dead” *does quotes with his hands* since 1958 so he put off 66 years of taxes. Plus, the price of a dollar went up as the years passed so yeah.”

Marvel: “Oh my gods…” *sounds like he’s about to have a mental breakdown*

Kid Flash: “Wow. You’re actually an egregious tax evader. 5 billion is insane.”

Even More Later…

Batman: *came to check on the kids*

Marvel: *in a corner, rocking back and forth, practically crying*

Batman: “What’s wrong with him?”

Robin!Tim: “He owes 5 billion to the IRS.”

Batman: “…What?”

Robin!Tim: “Yeah, I know, right?”

Batman and Robin!Tim: *watch as Conner comes by and puts a bunch of blankets on Marvel. They then see M’gann come in with some hot coco and hand it to Cap*

Batman: *sighs* “I’ll get the money.” *walks away*

Robin!Tim: “Hey, Cap! You can stop worrying now! Batman is gonna hook you up.

And that’s how, after much refusal from Billy and a lot of peer pressure from both the YJ and Mr. Batman, itty bitty Billy Batson ended up with 5 billion dollars. And since he didn’t want to be arrested for tax evasion, he was too scared to hand it over to the IRS. (It’s not like he knew how to pay them anyways) But hey, Billy now gets to treat himself, Mary, and Freddy. They now have a decent apartment, better clothes, and lots and lots of food money, and potentially toy money? Billy’s been eyeing these Bulletman and Bulletgirl action figures for his and Mary’s birthday coming up. He hopes Mary will like them, or at least the Bulletgirl figure, he knows she’s a big fan.

Also, I have no idea if the 5 billion dollar thing is right, I pulled that from somewhere and I honestly forgot where.

Danny starts a YouTube channel where he sings and does covers of songs. He never shows his face in the videos to keep some form of privacy about his identity. Using his wail, he also makes his voice sound different. He goes by the name Electric Siren in reference to the mythical creatures. He doesn't realize his wail combined with his singing voice has a similar hypnotic effect that Ember's does, just to a lesser degree. Tucker made his channel untraceable, which is good for when Tim Drake, fresh from a space mission with his team, comes home to find Jason clearly in a good mood. He asks what he's listening to, and when Jason shows Tim the song and he starts to relax. Tim immediately panics and clocks it as some sort of mind control

Part 2, Part 3

Tim marched through Wayne Manor, determined to get to Bruce and tell him of Jason’s possible mind control.

Electric Siren was a dangerous individual who could sing many songs with no limit on the styles he could replicate and use. If even Jason, an avid punk and metal music fan, was delightedly listening to pop music without a care in the world, then something was definitely wrong.

“Drake?” A voice called out. Tim stiffly paused in place and turned. Damian stared at him, his eyebrows dipped downward on his face. “What is the matter? You’re walking quite urgently.”

Tim wanted to go straight to Bruce, but knowing Damian, he’d just follow him anyways. Tim sighed and began to explain.

“I have reason to believe that Jason may be getting brainwashed.”

Damian’s eyebrows rose sharply before he snorted. “Hah! Serves Todd right. How pathetic.”

Damian was very lucky that he was small and adorable and that the person standing in front of him wasn’t Jason because that definitely deserved a knock on the head. Tim rolled his eyes and said, “Yes, which is why I need to talk to B.”

Damian, predictably, followed him as they walked to Bruce’s office. “How is Todd behaving? What is the medium used to brainwash him? Or is it a person?”

Tim told him about Electric Siren and then showed him a video. In this one, the singer was making a cover of a country song, strumming a guitar with low, smooth vocals.

Damian silently pressed play. Tim sighed again but allowed it. All the more people who could understand why it was a little concerning, right?

And right in front of his eyes, Damian relaxed from his stiff posture and looked at the screen with a small smile.

“I’m not sure I see the problem,” Damian said, his tone much more relaxed and even lacking that formal intonation he liked to give to himself to sound more mature. “It sounds fine to me.”

Tim’s jaw dropped.

Oh no.

Damian had been brainwashed too. And even worse, to country music!

Ghost Puberty

Danny already went through Puberty once, as a human.

But now that he's been a half ghost for thirteen years, he gets to experience

✨Ghost Puberty✨

It includes;

Fangs!

Glowing Freckles!

Claws!

Uncontrollable bouts of Floating!

Eyes glowing at weird times!

Odd, unconventional Cravings! Like raw meat!

Voice cracking!

And of course; all of these things presenting themselves while he's in his human form at odd times!

So Danny, 27 and fresh on the Bludhaven Police Force, is caught by his new partner as he desperately grips onto his desk to stop himself from floating into the ceiling, legs loops around the leg of a chair already four inches off the ground.

He stares at his partner.

His partner stares back.

"...So anyways, I was thinking we could go over these new forms, they're in the department file labeled 'suggestion'," his partner, Dick Grayson, says, casually leaning on Danny's shoulders and forcing the chair onto the ground.

They stare at useless forms on the computer until Danny's able to control it, and afterwards Dick takes him out for milkshakes.

Dick thinks he's a new meta.

Danny's too embarrassed to admit it's just puberty.

@simplestoryteller

Thomas: Son, I have a dark family secret I have to share with you.

Bruce nodding: I'm adopted

Thomas: That's not it.

Bruce nodding: I'm actually the biological son of Alfred and Mother, but you raised me as your own anyway.

Thomas: No

Bruce side eyeing him: You stole me from a park when I was little.

Thomas: No! Geez, you think I would pick you out of all the park kids?

Bruce: Hurtful but fair. What's the secert then?

Thomas: We stole your bother Danny from a park when he was little.

Bruce: No! Not little Danny! He likes the stars father! He was innocent!

Thomas: I know! But I couldn't stop Martha or Alfred! Oh my dear son, I have lived with shame for years! I can take it no longer!

Bruce: You must turn yourself in father. Face justice for what you've done!

Danny standing three feet away: I'm was kidnapped?

Martha: Meh, you fell through a glowing portal of death, and when everyone ran away screaming, Alfred and I just scooped you up and took you home. Thomas doesn't believe us about the portal, though, and has been trying to find your birth family for years.

Danny: Is that why he keeps asking for me to do DNA tests?

Alfred: Yes. Master Thomas fancies himself a detective.

Martha: What's so unbelievable about a glowing white-haired teenager falling from a swirling portal of death and shrinking into a few months old human baby due to his terrible injures? Storks bring babies all the time!

Alfred: I just think Master Thomas isn't as well traveled as he should be. I've seen the same protal at least five times back in London.

Danny is a Fae at Starbucks

So! Danny works by Fae Rules, Names and all, but he has no idea about that because he was forced to run away from Home (and the Ghost portal) before his Ghostly Education could be completed.

He runs to Gotham and eventually gets a job at Starbucks, or some other Cafe.

He has to ask the question "Could I get your name please?" A LOT while working there. And unintentionally steals hundreds of Names by the end of his first day, much less a week or a month into his job.

One day, Constantine visits Gotham for a Meeting with Batman, but by the time he gets to the Meeting Point he has bigger issues to discuss.

"Why the hell does half of your City belong to a Fae Lord?!"

De-Aged Danny, gesturing to a dazed Bruce inside Wayne Manor: And this is Bruce! Otherwise known as the Himbo! Reporters: Hmm, yes, interesting... Bruce: What the- Danny: I'm not sure what that word means. I heard it from Dick, but no one will give me my answer, not even Jason, who is easily bribed. Bruce: Why are there reporters in my house!? Danny, innocent and childlike: They asked to come inside, Bruce! They seemed like really nice people, so I thought it'd be polite to give them a tour. Bruce, filled with infinite patience: I really wish you had asked me before you did that, chum. Danny: But why? We don't have anything to hide... do we, Bruce?

Or, in order to rise to the Ghost Throne, Danny has to complete a series of trials to prove he is capable of ruling (or any other reason, Danny just needs to do trials to prove himself).

The last trial, issued by Clockwork, is thus: discover the Wayne Family secret in two weeks without the use of any of his powers.

He has one shapeshift to pick a form that could endere him to the Waynes, but only one before he starts and he has to get close to the family by his own wits. Danny, after studying the family and reading of one sentence summary of each Wayne, picks the body of a six-year-old little boy that looked like a child Jason Todd.

Bruce: That child is up to something. Dick, third favorite: I don't know, Bruce; he acts like a normal kid. Jason, #1 favorite: I doubt the old man's ever met a normal kid. Tim, least favorite: Bruce is right, but can you please not talk like the villains from Chicken Run.

The Outlaws are investigating a small town in Illinois. They don't get very far into town though when Jason feels a weird tug at his chest. He can't help but follow it to a graveyard and then to a specific grave. It is there he witnesses something he never thought he'd experience from an outsider's perspective. A boy trying to claw his way out of his grave.

Galas, trash talking and that guy that I don’t want to talk to

Danny, Sam and Tucker were standing close to the wall, silently judging people on the Gala. Wayne gala. One of the most prestigious, Well-known and terribly boring event in high society. How did they get there? Enter Rich-ass Sam’s parents and rich-ass fruitloop. The only consolation was them dragging Tucker with them. And The only way to made them behave, apparently. The list of pranks they prepared was impressivly long. But… a deal was a deal. So no pranks. Only them isolating themselves and trash talking in fancy suits other attendants in fancy suits. Fantastic.

-I can bet 10 bucks that this lady in shiny red dress will flirt with Wayne again. - That was Tucker.

- psh too easy that is obvious.- Sam grumbled.

-But she already tried like Three times. I Think it would be a streach. No way she has that little of self respect. You are on.- Danny countered.

-oh poor naive Danny. You lack experience in those matters. Believe me when I say she WILL try again. - And true to Sam’s words the lady tried. Swiftly ignored by organisator of this glorious event. Danny groaned and handed money to Tucker. That was how last two hours had gone by. They already gone thorough all apetizers. After, four attempts to get their hands on alcohol were stopped by staff they give up. They strolled through garden or rather the part that was open, and been to the toilet at least five times. So boredom. Utter boredom.

Danny let his eyes wander through the crowd. He was able to see Vlad persuading some poor businessman into very shady and probably disandventageous deal. Or meeting one on one, where he would just overshadow him and sign the documents. Both were shitty options.

There were times that Danny tried to sabotage Vlad deals but adults tended to ignore warnings from teenagers. So he got fed up with being ignored. Some things are unstoppable. He can fight super-powered king of undead but he can’t talk out an adult from trusting his psycho pseudo-uncle. So no intervention here. He let himself look again, suprisingly he caught eye contact with other teen. Black haired, blue eyed around their age probably slightly older. He started to move towards them.

-carefull some rich kid on the way. -he warned while keeping him in his vision. Both his friends heads snapped too look.

-Dude that is not SOME rich kid that Timothy Drake-Wayne! How could you not recognise him. - Tucker gushed

-Uh, sorry that I don’t know all celebrities. Lately I have been busy fighting ghosts and interdimentional tresspasers if you hadn’t noticed.- Danny hissed back. Sam rolled her eyes, whispering:

- Calm down, just remember that he is adopted son of Bruce Wayne. The one involved in technology.

Danny didn’t get the chance to answer before object of their conversation came to them.

-Hello, Timothy Drake-Wayne, Having fun?

The silence was uncomfortable. Sam got herself together the fastest:

- Of course Mr Drake, amazing event beautifull decorations!

Danny eyed her weirdly. Who could guess she could be such a good lier? He could pick on subtle sarcasm there but only because he knew her. For anyone else she sounded perfectly genuine and honest. He held back a laugh. He loved her so much.

-Tim is fine, I am already Mister in too many places. At the end I am only two years older Lady Samantha. - he answered flashing a smile at her. Huh. That was weird. Danny was not a mood reader but he got a distinct feeling he tried to subtly suck up to them. What a son of multimillionaire could want from them?

-It’s amazing to meet you in person Tim, I am Tucker! I love your work in IT, your new design of pada is fantastic. The outer layer of inside mechanisem is….

Tucker could talk about technology for hours. He knew this particular rant by heart so he let himself focus on Tim. He listened to Tucker and nodded in right places but didn’t seem really interested. However, What he did do was subtly glancing in Danny’s direction quite often. He let his senses wander and focused on newcomer. Tim smelled of expensive perfume, sweat and… suprisingly blood. Quite a lot of blood if Danny was being honest. Apart from that he could taste his determination and growing irritation the longer Tucker spoke. Well not Danny’s problem he can get bored and piss off. He will gladly come back to trash talking other guests now thank you very much.

- So Daniel, I have seen you on few other events but I havent had occasion to talk to you!- that was what brought Danny’s attention back to earth.

-It’s Danny - he corrected out of habit. Sam casted him murderous glare.

-Uh… nice to meet you. - the silence that lasted longer than socialy acceptable was akward. Ancients, Danny hated it so much. He wasn’t really fan of small talk with people he didn’t know. Or generally social interactions but here he is.

- Sooo did you took part in preparations to Gala or is it only your father this time?- Sam tried to save the situation.

- No this time is Bruce and Richard work. So Danny are you involved in your uncle business? Bruce and I had a very interesting conversation about possible deal and wanted to talk a little more about it.

Huh. So this was scouting business. No way Vlad would leave his talks unfinished or without any date to discuss it further. He would also not allow Danny involvement in any way. Not after that one fiasco. So Tim was bullshiting. Well that just rised Danny’s opinion about him from 0 to like 20 on scale 1 to 100. He does not deliberately plan to sabotage Vlad business anymore. But if some guy with heart screwed on comes to him Well…

- Whatever he says I advise to not associate with him. Better to ghost him. if you do actually decide that you must do business with him do not and I can’t stress it enough stay with him one on one in a room. - Danny States calm and even. He Made sure that his eyes were serious and didn’t break eye contact for a moment.

That was a time when Vlad came up to them. Out of breah and slightly dishelved. Obviously he panicked when he saw Tim with them. Danny smirked. Vlad glared.

- Daniel it is time for us to go. Samantha your parents are looking for you and your friend. Mr Drake pardon us we are in a hurry.

-Of course UNCLE.- He smiled inconently.

-bye Tim, Sam, Tucker- he said while looking over his shoulder. His eyes were drilled in Tim’s.

There was something unnerving about Danny’s eyes- Thought Tim.

It is just a thought that I had during my Ester Breakfast when I looked at those fancy silverware that me and my family takę out on christmas and Ester. So yes quick drabble. I have no idea if I will continue or not but I had fun writing it SO here it is.