Hatsunevitu - Vita!!

do you ship Stary (Stan x Gary)?

oh my god ABSOLUTELY. for some reason i got reaaally into it and came up with an au of how they got closer. i’m not usually a fan of ships with one-episode characters, but stary is SO great. HOLD ON LEMME TELL YOU ABOUT THAT AU

okay, so, we all know how “all about mormons” ended and that we have never heard of gary after that, right? now just let’s imagine he stayed in the school, in the same class as stan and others, but visibly started to avoid the main four. he hung out with the “background kids” and mostly girls, because they all adored how nice he is.

it didn’t actually make any difference for main four – they still thought gary was lame and were not interested in talking to him since he’s not a new kid in the class anymore. they all didn’t really like him. except for stan.

stan couldn’t get the thought of gary out of his head for all the following years. he didn’t make any attempts to befriending gary again, because he knew guys wouldn’t understand and he was terrified of hearing rejection again, so he mostly just… kinda secretly looked through gary’s social media once a week (or more often) and sometimes watched him out of the corner of his eye in the classroom.

he saw that gary was doing pretty fine without him, so he didn’t wanna be an inconvenience, but the thought. the thought that he had missed his chance to be friends with one of the most sincere and comforting people in the whole school only because of the peer pressure.

but he didn’t thought he could have a chance to reconnect until he has heard that gary’s parents are getting a divorce and that the “perfect mormon house” secretly had its troubles. and then, as it was absolutely destined, after the lessons ended, he sees gary sitting in the classroom all alone with a blank expression on his face and tired look in his eyes. and without giving it a second thought he walks up to gary and asks if everything’s fine.

and they start talking. for an hour, if not more. stan know some shit about divorcing parents, troubles at home and an urge to drink to feel happy (which turned out to be gary’s problem too), so he know how to support him, and gary is such a great listener. they start with discussing gary’s family problems, then eventually they start remembering their first time seeing each other, and stan (unexpectedly for even himself) openly admits he regrets fucking up things with their friendship, and he has dreamed of finally talking to him again for, like, ages. and gary just genuinely smiles and takes his hand saying that they still have time for that.

eventually they hang out together more. with gary there isn’t a lot of crazy adventures, and stan, who’s got pretty sick of those, feels so relaxed while being with him. the only thing is that they mostly meet privately and secretly from the rest of the main four, because stan feels this irrational shame for being friends with someone they don’t like. it kinda upsets gary, but he doesn’t want to end their friendship because of the same reason it ended the first time.

so yeah, that takes them two or three months until stan finally realises the unpleasant truth – he doesn’t wanna be just friends with gary and his nearly-obsession with him for the last five years was more likely a behaviour of a person who’s desperately in love. fuck. he doesn’t confess his feelings to gary because he’s too scared of fucking thing up the second time.

and it seems to be working, but the more stan spends time with gary, the more love he feels, until one day he finally snaps and while one of their walks in the park he very awkwardly kisses gary, who (honestly) doesn’t really seem to mind it.

and stan, an example of bravery, apologises and runs away before gary has a chance to answer him properly. ‘cause stan’s a jerk and he’s panicking.

he’s not used to handling stressful situations by himself, so he calls kyle because he has no one else to talk to:

stan: Dude, I have a problem. A big one.

kyle: Woah what happened??? Do you want me to come to your place?

stan: I just kissed a dude.

kyle: Okay I knew I’d hear these words from you one day.

stan: WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU KNEW.

kyle: Oh please–

stan: We’ll talk about it later.

kyle: Pff, sure, dude. So you’re gay? Is this a coming out? I’m really proud of you finally admitting it out loud and sharing this with me, you know I’ll always support you whenever you ne–

stan: It’s Gary Harrison.

kyle: What. The mormon kid????

stan: Yeah, we kinda… Hung out together in secret…

kyle: But you hated him???

stan: WELL IT TURNS OUT I DIDN’T.

kyle: So what do you call me for?

stan: Oh, right. I kinda… ran away after we kissed?…

kyle: WHY.

stan: I DON’T KNOW, MAN, I PANICKED.

so kyle as the most supportive friend ever first laughs at stan, then helps him to understand what to do next. (and totally tells about it to cartman)

and, well, it’s pretty long enough so i guess i’ll stop here, because the rest of it is pretty much the plot of any slowburn mlm 200k words fic lmao

so yeah. answering to your question: i love stary. a lot.

guys i actually love canon leslie/kyle so much I MEAN YES kyman is my only otp with kyle, but out of all his other love interests i think leslie is the most interesting one

MAYBE i’m a bit biased cuz i love leslie a lot, but, well… i just like how kyle literally ignores any common sense and goes against his bff cuz of leslie? like, i need a whole ass au where leslie doesn’t get killed and kyle is “dating” her, being torn apart by how he likes her and how he feels like she’s trying to hide who she really is AND AND AND…

idk it’s just kinda interesting to see kyle forgetting about his brutal logic and going against his friends because of love. i think it’s a pretty interesting side of kyle and we don’t get to see it much… (though we see some glimpses of it when he’s around cartman)

Choose and give me your reasons why.

guess who has kyman plushies now

the thing i like to headcanon for kyman is that they can always, no matter what, rely on each other. and they will be there for each other at worst moments ever possible.

when cartman’s mom goes to hospital in a very serious condition, the first and only person he tells about it personally is kyle – because he knows that despite their mutual hate and rivalry kyle will always be there when shit gets really bad. he won’t be just emotional support – he’s the one person to actually start helping and saving his friend in trouble, he’s the one to hug tightly and then slap cartman’s face so he doesn’t get too depressed.

and it’s mutual because kyle knows that even though it’s not the most logical choice, but once he gets in real trouble, cartman will be the first one he goes to. cartman will help to deal with the most fucked up situations and after he literally saves kyle’s ass, he will never shut up with stupid jokes and teasing kyle for getting in such stupid troublesome circumstances. and kyle will take both that and “you owe me now, kahl”, ‘cause he knows cartman will get serious again and help with anything in the future if anything else happens.

they can rely only on each other when things seem to be worse than ever.

au about kyman entering the same university somewhere far away from south park, where not a single person knows what kind of reputation cartman had back in his native town.

so cartman decides it’s a chance for him to replay the game and change the way he is treated.

he acts nice, he makes wise decisions, he makes friends with those who can help him in future, he doesn’t break a single law and studies hard, he becomes a perfect version of eric cartman. and everyone falls for it, because he seems absolutely cool, funny and charismatic to them.

the only person who’s not buying it is kyle, who decides it’s his moral obligation to “expose” the true nature of eric cartman, so he tries to sabotage him in any way but fails every time eventually humiliating himself. by the end of the first term even the professors know that kyle broflovski is obsessed with fighting with cartman and most people assume that he’s either a simple fatphobic bully or is in love with cartman.

by that time kyle is considered to be a loser and is pretty much avoided by most of his peers meanwhile cartman is surrounded by people who love and admire him. so it happens that cartman is the only friend kyle’s got now hehe.

the whole first half of an au is basically kyle who’s trying to set cartman up so he can reveal his “evil side” but he ends up as an unbelievable piece of shit himself.

and kyle is pissed because how can’t anyone see the truth??

he complains about it to cartman because he doesnt have anyone else.

cartman, meeting kyle in the morning: Hey, so how will you try to set me up this time?

kyle: I am not “setting anyone up”. I simply want people to know the truth about who you really are.

cartman: Seem kinda obsessed with me, huh, Kahl?

kyle: Do not provoke me, Cartman.

cartman: I am not. Just… what’s the truth, tell me? Who am I, then? I seem to have forgotten it since everyone here thinks I’m great.

kyle, raising his voice: You’re an unbelievably psychotic fat ugly piece of shit and you do not deserve what you get, that’s who you are, you hear me, asshole?!

everyone in the class: …Woah, Broflovski. Nice job, jerk, now you made him upset. What’s even wrong with you?

cartman, raising voice so everyone hears him: Wow, Kyle, I guess you really haven’t changed since high school. And I was stupid enough to hope we could be friends here…

kyle, confused: Wait, that is not what… That’s… Fuck!! You planned it since the beginning, didn’t you?

imagine kyle who was DREAMING about his university life? he thought he’d be noticed because of how smart he is, he thought girls would love him because he’s intelligent and nice, he thought everything would be different. but instead his life was once again about cartman – and he couldn’t forgive him for ruining his life of dream.

kyle: Why on Earth would you do this? It was supposed to be the best year of my life, but you just had to show up and ruin everything!

cartman: I ruined everything?

kyle: Yes, you did! Why else would you go to the same university?!

cartman: I’m sorry, Kyle, I don’t quite get it. You think I went to this university just because of you? How highly do you think of yourself?

kyle: Why not? You’ve been obsessed with me the whole time!

cartman: I’m obsessed? Isn’t it you who devotes all his time in his first year of university trying to set me up? Tell me about being obsessed, Kyle!

kyle: What’s that supposed to mean?

cartman: I came here, to the university as far from South Park as possible, to start a new fucking page of my life without prejudice. Have you seen a single person here who would refer to me as “fatass” except for you?

kyle: Oh, don’t even start it with “fatphobic” shit, you can’t possibly be offended by this, that was just friendly bantering!

cartman: Was it? Was it, Kyle?

kyle: Well–

cartman: And even now that I’m here you still can’t let it go. You still can’t accept the tiny possibility that I might’ve changed. So you just have to go there and shout “hey, everyone, he’s a piece of shit, you should hate him with me”. Does that help your self-esteem?

kyle: I… ugh, I didn’t think it was like that…

cartman: I know you didn’t.

AWWWW @bloogers-boogers THANKSSSS A LOT missed u sooo much🫶🫶!!! (i’m not sure about the “returns” part tho cuz im slowly running out of ideas but i still have like four kyman hcs and aus soo >:]])

they should kill off cartman. im not joking – they should kill cartman out of nowhere in a random episode (preferably kyle is the cause of his death in some way) and the next episode he should stay dead. and everyone has moved on bc they did not like him a bit, including his mother. then two episodes later kenny dies and we follow his soul to hell, where cartman grabs onto him and clings to him as he comes back to earth, thus getting resurrected. he comes back to life as a deus ex machina to end the main plot line of that episode and he’s just back now. and they don’t mention it again. imagining the social media response to this alone is fuelling me through the last forty minutes of my work day.

Hello! ☆

This is going to be my pinned post here, and I'm also looking for mutuals :D Please write something in replies if you're interested.....Please 💔

I'm Lego, I go by she/they, and I speak Ukrainian and English !

My current hyperfixation is South Park, AND MOSTLY KENNY MCCORMICK !! Him, Craig and Clyde are my favorite characters. If you like Kenny, care about him, find him funny OR AT LEAST FIND HIM OKAY let's be friends. I also have a lot of ships with him and open for new ones so can go with whatever you like!!

More info

DNI: Basic dni criteria (homophobic, transphobic, misogynistic etc); support russia, appreciate russian culture, "don't have an opinion" about russia; active in russian side of the fandom (like, have other social medias on russian);

DNFI: uhhhh not much to say but I guess if you dislike kenny you'll find it boring here

Note: I'm autistic, so I can be pretty weird about things I like. My special interests are: Identity V, space fantasy.

From here I'll tell about my South Park preferences :)

As I said, I like Kenny in a not-very-normal-amount. Some my favorite ships are obviously with him. Here's my favorites! I mostly talk about them only

(first picture template belongs to @hatsunevitu )

I also have other OTPs, I really love them, but I need to warn you, that I don't care about them as much as I do care for kennyships xD

NOTPs......I have them but it's not that big of a deal

And the last thing I'll add: My South Park kin is Craig. Yeah. He's just like me frfr

That's all I can say about myself?? I can't promise to post regularly but I'll try my best. Thank you!!

y’know who’s the biggest kyman hater on earth? stan marsh.

so i’ve written some headcanons about kyman’s love languages right here, and i mentioned cartman being absolutely disgusting with his pda, so i think he’d like pissing both kyle and stan with kissing and being affectionate to kyle in public.

‘cause, you know, when kyle and stan are talking to each other and ignoring cartman’s Very Important Presence, he actually tries to be patient but then he finally fails and sneaks up to kyle and does something unexpected like sitting on kyle’s laps or biting his neck with the most innocent face. and that’s it. kyle.exe stopped working, he’s completely distracted and stan is irritated af looking at satisfied cartman. so they have this conversation every time stan and kyle want to hang out together:

stan: No, no, wait, dude, don’t tell me Cartman’s gonna be here all the time!

cartman: What’s the matter, Stan? You’re jealous of me and Kahl having this wonderful relationship you’d never have?

stan: First of all: gross. Secondly: I hate you, Cartman, and I totally disrespect you, Kyle, for dragging him to every walk we have.

kyle: Oh, come on, dude, don’t be such a drama queen, you won’t even notice his presence! Just ignore him.

cartman: Hey! >:[

stan: No-o, I know how it always happens. Every time I talk to you for more than a few minutes this asshole gets bored and distracts you with some disgusting things like licking your neck or, I dont know, sitting on your laps.

kyle: Oh, please, that happened only once or twice! Look, I’m a mature and conscious person, I can ignore Cartman when I want to.

cartman: Ha! Lying jew. You can’t resist me.

kyle: Shut up, Fatass!

stan: See?? That’s what I was talking about. You never pay attention to anything when he’s around!

kyle: I resent these baseless accusations.

in kyle's defense, i want to say that he will eventually handle this so it won’t affect his friendship with stan. stan may be acting all grumpy and whiny about kyman’s relationship but he really is kind of supportive of them and is happy his best friend finally found someone to be together with. even if this “someone” is eric cartman.

kyle and wendy being just regular friends or rivals and not liking each other sure is fun but imagine them bonding over their lovehate to cartman. imagine cartman having to fight them both. this brosistp has SO much comedy potential.