pretty
Mood of the Board: Flowers & Fruit
blushydior
this is nothing but an enhancement of the person already within you. this is not to say you aren’t perfect in your own beautiful way and you need to change your whole self because you’re “not up to par”. i make this post to tell you to never put a limit on your growth because change is constant and the smallest things make the absolute biggest difference. this is an endless self improvement journey where you will make clear of your beautiful qualities buried underneath, embody the person you’ve always wanted to become, and find new lovely sides of yourself in the process. the idea of change, even in the slightest, shouldn’t be feared but instead welcomed. there is nothing better than evolving and being a better person than you were yesterday. remember that you can change at any time. you don’t have to wait until a new year, month, or week and note that it’s never too late to do so. there is no other time than now. this post will always be here for you to look back on. and of course, despite the mentions of dream girl, this post is for EVERYONE.
to start and this is very crucial, ask yourself a series of questions:
what are my deepest values in life? envisioning the dream person i desire to be, do the habits i hold support me on this journey? what are some things i need to let go of that i’ve been putting off? how have i been feeling these past few months? do the people i socialize with inspire & encourage me in my endeavors?
really take your time to think about what you value, ways you can support them and analyze things in your current life.
now that you’ve got the foundation, let’s begin and become the dream girl you want to be.
do right by you. you can’t do right by others if you abandon yourself for the sake of them.
bring out the journal because we are going on a self discovery journey!
what are your goals that you’ve been wanting to achieve? start a business, do better in school and be at the top of your class, getting to places on time, be more open to meeting new people, reading more books a month, being more elegant, gentle, and kind…
what does the dream person in your mind look like? what habits and kind of friends do they have? how do they spend their time? how do they carry themselves?
what are some things you need to let go of in order to successfully embody this person? socializing with toxic people, not having structure in the day, excess social media usage, substance consumption, sleeping in, procrastinating, victimizing, the negative self-talk, gossip, letting people step all over you…
what are some habits you’ll need to cultivate? lessen social media usage, waking up and going to sleep early, eating healthy, exercising, picking up old and new hobbies again, more walks, starting work right away, being kind to yourself…
digital declutter: delete any and all useless apps. most of them are to be real with you. you don’t have to check your influencer’s new posts and vlogs and you will be okay if you miss out on the newest internet trends. for a little more push on letting go of social media, read my post on digital minimalism here.
remember, that this is a self development journey. you can’t and won’t accomplish the goals and habits of the it girl you want to be if you’re on your phone for more than half the day. be raw with yourself. let go of social media.
social group: really take some time to think about the people you hang around with. are they supportive? negative? do they talk bad about others? criminals? are they goal setters and high-achievers? do they support you and your goals? do they hang around with bad people?
the people you socialize with tells a lot about your character. seriously! if you hang out with people who treat others like garbage (for no reason), if THEY knowingly socialize with people who do tons of horrible things, where do YOUR morals lie? yes, they have been nice to you and you’ve known them for years but that excuse begins to fade when you are striving to be a better person and morals come into play. the environment you tolerate will hold you back.
don’t feel bad about doing this. i did at first but it’ll go away, trust me when i say you’ll do so much better.
most importantly, self care: how you carry and treat yourself shows others how to treat you. once you acknowledge what you are worthy of, you will not allow yourself to settle for anything that doesn’t meet your standards and much less allow yourself to tumble back into old, unhealthy ways.
enforce boundaries on yourself and others. get rid of the habits of bashing yourself when you make an honest mistake or your work performance/grades are low, stop saying horrible things when you look in the mirror, stop complaining and staying up at night for unnecessary reasons, damaging your health, stop letting people insult you, quit over explaining yourself.
detox ending note: again, take it easy with yourself. the more you exercise and strengthen your self-discipline, the easier this detox will be for you. you can start by applying a few habits at a time until it’s basically a part of a routine and go on from there but you have to remember to take it seriously in implementing it into your daily routine/life.
tell yourself that you are doing amazing because you are! you are striving to be better you every single day! how is that not admirable? you are always doing your best even if it may not feel like it.
now that you have a clear vision of things even if it’s little! you need to do in order to fully embody your dream self, it’s time to put things into motion.
how can you do this? enforcing self-discipline and setting boundaries.
think of motivation as a power boost at the starting line and your foot pressing on the pedal of your car is discipline, it’s what keeps you going forward on your journey. motivation, as fleeting as it is won’t bring you far but self-discipline will.
DEVELOPING SELF DISCIPLINE
self-discipline: the ability to control one’s feelings and overcome one’s weaknesses; the ability to pursue what one thinks is right despite temptations to abandon it.
boundaries
a line that marks the limits of an area; a dividing line.
a limit of a subject or sphere of activity.
remind yourself of the life you want to live and the person you desire to be, remember that all of your desires have always been within reach. you just have to break out of the barrier you’ve put up for yourself, fight through the fear and the “what if’s” and just do it! the person you wish to be is already within you.
thinking of and wanting to start is one thing but actually starting, no matter how small has already moved mountains you can’t yet see.
WHERE TO START
self-discipline and boundaries go hand in hand. setting healthy boundaries will shine light on the path you want to take by making sure you’re staying protected by actions made by you and other people and discipline keeps you in check so that you can go about your self improvement journey the best that you can!
this can look like…
overcoming the urge to wallow in past failures and instead looking forward to a chance at a new beginning.
putting yourself first. taking care of your mind, body, and soul.
getting out of bed to finish your tasks even if you wanted to sleep in.
correcting yourself when you were slipping up on an old habit without self criticism.
making sure your boundaries allow you to grow and fix them as you seek fit
learning the best ways to say no and yes
being more considerate and kind to yourself and others.
not letting futile thoughts, ideas, and actions hinder your progress.
finally putting forth projects you’ve pushed aside.
picking yourself back up after a difficult time even if it took a while.
more on boundaries here: BOUNDARIES 101
habits to acquire:
thinking of which times you felt down and uplifted and figuring out what contributed to those feelings. avoid habits and situations that don’t serve you and bring in more of what made you feel good about yourself and how you can further enhance that experience.
not rushing your personal journey
having a set routine. morning + night ideas.
standing firm on your boundaries
stop comparing.
becoming a digital minimalist
identifying with old habits and perceptions of yourself
investing in your appearance (because pampering is relaxing!)
not caring about what others think of you
taking care of your mind, body, and soul. tuning into what you need and what is best for you, fully influenced and putting things into motion because it’s what you truly want, not for pleasing others or trying to “fit in”
enjoying stillness
indulging in old and new hobbies every day. make it a priority!
more ideas here!
CONTINUING TO STRENGTHEN DISCIPLINE
how do habits form? how do people get better at what they set their minds to? by figuring out what works for them and what doesn’t, what their roadblocks are and from then on, repetition and consistency.
keep in mind that healing and improvement is subjective. make it work for you so that you are setting yourself up for success. take what you see from posts like these, videos, and books and refine it to make it fit perfectly with how you would like things to go.
take the habits you intend to leave behind and the ones you’d like to acquire and map out how you would go about leaving the past in the past to welcome in the new.
figure out what your roadblocks are. when there comes a time where it’s hard to continue forward on your path, tune into your body and mind. what is it telling you? there is something that is bothering you that needs to be addressed. are you well rested? have you had enough water today? are you overstimulated? are there any illnesses that can easily flare up and be the reason why you’re feeling this way?
don’t beat yourself up for feeling demotivated and unreasonably drained. most of the time, it’s really not the case. you just need to figure out what is going on and address it gently and sometimes you won’t really know what’s going on until later on and that’s okay!
i would always feel drained or overstimulated with my depression, adhd, and chronic fatigue. it would cause me to flare up and enter episodes (depressive and manic). the things i would realize was that it was either caused by: an triggering/traumatic event, intense emotions that didn’t have an outlet, continuous outings. and sometimes flares up will just happen and i began to understand that.
i didn’t blame myself for having illnesses. i just grew aware that what really matters is: i get through it every. single. time. and i will be okay even if i literally felt my world was crashing down on me yet again.
something that can help when dealing with episodes is that when you feel it coming on, prepare yourself so you can get through it even if it makes the experiences just a little bit better by 1%. taking a shower and brushing your teeth, cleaning up your space, gathering snacks and easy to make meals, telling a trusted loved one you won’t be available but might need their support, trying your best to go on walks even if it’s hard, putting on comfortable clothes, etc.
which one works for you? working your way up, going all in or both? it really all depends on what this method applies to. if you think changing your routine by the slightest will be a good step, do it or if you feel confident that deleting all the apps on your phone all at once is something you want to do, go all in.
keep track of your accomplishments. tracking your accomplishments will show how much you’ve done and keep you on your feet! nothing beats the feeling than looking back at all the things you’ve done before heading towards the rest of your goals with your head high. anything is possible. remind yourself that you can do it. sort it to yearly, monthly, and daily to do lists! it’s always the best thing to look at when there are times where you don’t feel like you did “enough”. your effort is more than enough!
and so you take a few days to rest. relaxing, taking a vacation… does this mean you’re being inconsistent? absolutely… not. duh? resting is being productive. putting yourself first IS self care! reward yourself with relaxing days spent by traveling, resting, going out etc. do what makes you happy and be safe. keeping a balance is SUPER important!
“take things slow with yourself. if your body wants to rest, let it rest. let your mind rest as well by letting go all the worries of “why you’re not active”. who cares if you take a slow day? do you know how much you’ve been through? the least you can do for yourself is be comfortable in your own bed without a care in the world. you’ve experienced enough guilt. let yourself be free knowing that you deserve to rest. you deserve moments of stillness. enjoy the now. it’s all we have. we’re not always meant to be up and running. we simply weren’t made that way. there is beauty in stillness, peace, and quiet. don’t put it to shame. instead, let your mind, body, and soul experience more of it.
do things at your own pace. if you think you can get up, brush your teeth and that’s all that you can do for the day, so be it. don’t force yourself to do things you can’t handle. you’ll be doing more harm than good. take it day by day. add an extra task as days go on. do something you believe will be fulfilling like going on a quick walk around the block, going to the store to get a drink, baking a treat, sitting outside for a few minutes at a time.”
— blushydior in be kind to yourself. healing is a journey.
read this with conviction:
“as of this very moment, i am leaving my old and undesired self behind; the past mistakes, the unhealthy habits, how i used to treat myself and the way i allowed others to treat me, and all the pain i have held on to for so long. it’s all gone now. even if i may or may not have a clear vision of the dream person i am now embodying, i will remain open minded and brave into learning and growing each and everyday. i am not my past mistakes nor my trauma. i’m safe and secure now. and because i’m aware of my infinite power of having full control of my reality, i am rewriting my story.”
you are not your past mistakes. you are not the negative words you have been told. you are who you want to be. everything in your world holds absolutely no meaning unless you assign it meaning thus, giving it power. turn a blind eye to things that don’t serve you, put yourself first and watch how you will bloom vibrantly.
NOTHING IS OUT OF REACH. everything you want is already within you, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
GIVE PERFECT A MEANING OF YOUR OWN! you are still an it girl if you make mistakes, you are still a healthy, recovering person with a few very tough days this week.
you are perfect for:
taking it easy
always trying your best even if it doesn’t feel like it
making a mistake and learning from it
telling yourself: “i had a tough day today but it’s okay! i’m going to rest and take it easy. i’m okay. i am always doing my best. there’s nothing to worry about. tomorrow will be an amazing day.”
allowing yourself to cry, feel, and express your thoughts and emotions
putting your need first
using fear as an opportunity to grow
YOU ARE PERFECT LIKE YOU.
REMEMBER: THIS IS A JOURNEY
you will grow at your own pace naturally.
don’t compare yourself to others, they too had a past and obstacles to overcome (and still do!) to get where they are at right now.
don’t rush into things, handling more than you could at once.
don’t beat yourself up for not knowing certain things earlier. everyone learns and realizes things differently.
this is not a race, there’s no routine that is supposed to be one size fits all. this is a self paced journey. you will realize and see things at a different perspective as events unfold, you will outgrow the people around you and the bad habits as you find yourself at a more stable chapter in your life. don’t rush, don’t compare, just keep looking forward.
i have fully embodied my definition of a dream girl/boy/person.
i carry myself with full confidence and elegance.
there is not a day that goes by where i don’t do my best.
i’m beautiful, intelligent, hardworking, kind, and gentle.
i am the best version of myself.
success is inevitable for me. i am successful at everything i do.
i have all of my desired qualities.
i become better and better each and every day!
my self awareness increases every second. i have the most perfect mental diet.
it’s so easy for me to persist in new and beneficial thoughts. flipping thoughts is just way too easy.
i am in full control of my reality. i am fully aware of my potential and i will never let anything or anyone affect me.
“A flower does not think of competing with the flower next to it. It just blooms.”
— Zen Shin
☆ here is the google doc (and better) version! ☆
~ once upon a time...~
Here is my "Get It Together Plan." I use this whenever I feel myself reverting to victim behaviors or my life feels it's falling apart.
I suck at making moots
Turning your life around? Coming out of a funk? Getting over a breakup? Need to reignite your spark for life? Need to feel in control? Want a boost of confidence? Dealing with low self esteem?
Where to start:
Exercise every day
Skincare + makeup of personal preference (yes this includes not wearing makeup at all if that is your personal preference)
Hair done
Showered and moisturized
At least one hobby you engage with on a daily/frequent basis
At least one skill you are developing on a daily/frequent basis
If you haven’t gotten a 7 day workout streak and completed the other bullet points on this list yet, stop moaning, get to work, and kill your distractions.
This is level 0.
how you spend your morning dictates your whole day. create a relaxing structure to truly get yourself ready before heading out into the world ♡
wake up early; before 8am.
don’t go on your phone. right when you wake, bask in the silence and background noise.
meditate by focusing on your breathing.
say affirmations to yourself: “i have woken up in my desired reality. today will be a good day. i am okay. i’m healthy, beautiful, and inspiring. something amazing will happen to me today. i am kind and gentle towards myself.”
stretch!
open up any blinds to let the light in
make your bed. tidy up your space.
say hello and cuddle with your pet(s)
wash your face & brush your teeth
walk your pet(s)
make a simple breakfast and drink water and/or tea and eat it outside or looking out the window.
journal. self reflect, how you feel, what you’d like to accomplish, etc. make it a goal to be more kind to yourself and keep your thoughts in check.
read a few chapters of your current read.
what are some things you need to get done today? make a plan and set out to get it checked off.
exercise, try a new routine.
choose an outfit, do your hair, try some new looks for the season. have fun. try new things, who knows? maybe you’ll end up loving it.
go on a walk in your neighborhood.
get in 10,000 steps
buy yourself flowers.
light a candle
put on your favorite feel good songs. let yourself go and freely sing and dance to it.
begin your studies.
rest if needed!
try a new recipe
spend time in nature
The moon dressed as Saturn.
like and reblog follow me for more see the pinned
I have been collecting my favorite quotes for the past few years now. Many of these have gotten me through tough classes, long study nights, and reminded me to work hard for what I want most in life. Save this post and read it when you need it. But keep in mind, reading motivational quotes won’t get your work done. It only inspires a spark of motivation. You have to actually do the work afterwards too.
If opportunity doesn’t knock, build a door (Milton Berle)
Think about exactly what you don’t want and then do the direct opposite
The person who says it cannot be done should not interrupt the person who is doing it
Build your own dreams, or someone else will hire you to build theirs (Farrah Gray)
Without hard work, nothing grows but weeds (Gordon B. Hinckley)
Success comes from knowing that you did your best to become the best that you are capable of becoming (John Wooden)
80% of success is just showing up
If you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always gotten (Tony Robbins)
Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up (Thomas Edison)
If you really want the key to success, start by doing the opposite of what everyone else is doing (Brad Szollose)
Failure will never overtake me if my determination to succeed is strong enough (Og Mandino)
The question isn’t who is going to let me; it’s who is going to stop me (Ayn Rand)
It is never too late to be what you might have been (George Eliot)
A good plan violently executed now is better than a perfect plan executed next week (George Patton)
The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be (Ralph Waldo Emerson)
Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out (Robert Collier)
Don’t judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that you plant (Robert Louis Stevenson)
Either you run the day or the day runs you (Jim Rohn)
The best preparation for tomorrow is doing your best today (H. Jackson Brown, Jr.)
Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself (George Bernard Shaw)
I attribute my success to this – I never gave or took any excuse (Florence Nightingale)
You can’t build a reputation on what you are going to do (Henry Ford)
Formula for success: rise early, work hard, strike oil (J. Paul Getty)
Success is dependent on effort (Sophocles)
Change your life today. Don’t gamble on the future, act now, without delay (Simone de Beauvoir)
Success depends upon previous preparation, and without such preparation there is sure to be failure (Confucius)
You simply have to put one foot in front of the other and keep going. Put blinders on and plow right ahead (George Lucas)
Success is nothing more than a few simple disciplines, practiced every day (Jim Rohn)
It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop (Confucius)
Productivity is never an accident. It is always the result of a commitment to excellence, intelligent planning, and focused effort.
We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then, is not an act, but a habit
Commitment is staying true to what you said you were going to do long after the mood you said it in had left.
Don’t ask what’s the least you can do to be good. Ask what’s the most you can bare to be great.
Ask yourself if what you are doing today is getting you closer to where you want to be tomorrow.
Don’t study until you get it right. Study until you can’t get it wrong.
Get up early enough to set your intentions for the day in stone. A good morning is the beginning of a successful day. You are capable of everything you want to do today. You are strong, secure and able to achieve. There is no task too hard when you believe in every ability you hold, you are determined to hit every goal. Do not give up on yourself.
Every positive change in your life begins with a clear, unequivocal decision that you are going to either do something or stop doing something.
Hard work will never betray you.
Aggressive goals require aggressive work ethic.
The best way for you to predict your future is to create it (Abraham Lincoln)
The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing (Walt Disney)
The price of excellence is discipline. The cost of mediocrity is disappointment (William Arthur Ward)
You need to understand that studying requires extensive training. Study habits, amount of sleep, timing. Therefore, you should see it as a sport. In order to get better you need to repeat and practice. Your brain needs to be recited all this information for long term memory. It’s a hard process, I know, but trust me you’ll get there.
You get what you work for
You won’t have this day again, so make it count.
september is here! school is back in session and fall is right around the corner, so of course this calls for a guide. i’ll be talking about everything from mindset to fashion to get you ready for the cozy season! 🍂☕
before we get into it, i highly recommend you read my dream girl guide and my study like bambi post if you haven’t already. it covers everything related to habits, self discipline, and studying tips from a straight A student that i won’t be too specific about in this post. if you did, you’ll notice that this is basically a reworked general version for school. nonetheless, enjoy this guide ♡
we will be focusing on:
new mindset. school work, reflection, friend groups, habits, how to cope with anxiety attacks…
framework. how to be at the top of your game. scheduling, organization tips…
physical: vibes, outfit, hair, nails, perfumes, and vibes inspo!
declutter. room, phone, friends, old habits…
important things to know aka a send off letter from me!
affirmations
what are your priorities? #1 should be you. prioritize your happiness, health, and safety. always! this part is important because if you know what’s right for you then you will naturally always lean towards goals and actions that are best for you! i talk more about this here.
once school is back in session it is SO EASY to fall back into bad habits and negative mindsets because of the people around you and the stress and pressure that surrounds having good grades all the while maintaining your physical & mental health.
now it’s time to let go of all and any limiting beliefs, negative self-talk, toxic habits and people and be the top student you are! anyone can level up.
habits to cultivate:
finding and setting up a system that works for you.
putting your needs first
getting your work done on time
paying attention in class.
don’t study until you get it right, study until you can’t get it wrong.
lessen phone usage.
self discipline. keeping up the momentum.
STEPPING UP FOR YOURSELF.
habits to let go of:
being rude to yourself. not knowing you’re always trying your best.
procrastinating
wanting to give up just because you “failed”
being on your phone more than doing what you enjoy. (hanging out with friends, staying to yourself, studying, getting coffee…)
letting others undermine your potential.
limiting beliefs and negative thoughts, knowing that they are not yours.
staying up all night for unnecessary reasons.
the rest is under the cut!
Keep reading