Yeah We’re Pretty Sure He Just Does It So He Can Fuck With People Who Piss Him Off But He’s Weirdly

No one reads Pale which makes me so sad cause there’s so much cool shit in there and this latest chapter has so much smart people could examine to the point that even i can but no one would listen or understand any of it

This is just the plot of Pale

“You need to find God,” says the man at the door. “No I’m good, thank you,” you say, starting to close the door. “Please!” says the man urgently. “God is missing, please find him!”

This is like those posts that talk about how humans have always been humans and have done dumb things since the beginning of time

I love this so much, I’m gonna start saying “nuts” we need to bring it back

What if it turns out that humans have actually adapted to something the Hilammu can’t survive and humans now use that as a symbol of pride like maybe no species besides humans can have orange juice because of its specific chemical combination

Also what if tartigrades become the animals of humanity

[This idea has been rattling in my brain and I had to share it.]

I know we all love the ‘humans are space orcs’ concept… but imagine, onboard the new ship they’ve been assigned to, the human meets an actual space orc. A massive monster… fangs and tusks and scars and a battle-hardened stare, looming over all the other life forms on the ship in its thick indestructible armour it refuses to remove. It barely drinks, it doesn’t need sleep, its massive shoulders are heavy with the terrible things it has experienced. Compared to the squishy & delicate human body, this thing is a walking tank.

… Except instead of hating/ignoring one another, the human and the monster start bonding over both coming from death planets. The human is excited to find a life form who doesn’t quiver with fear at the vague description of a jellyfish and the monster is ecstatic to meet someone who understands the feeling of being bitten by a qua’lem (cats are pretty close). They sit together and compare dangerous animals and locations as the other aliens look on in confusion and fear… oh, you also have dense jungles of deadly hidden predators, boiling acid lakes, tamed predatory killers, and areas with horrendously high and low temperatures? Sick!! 

It doesn’t take long before the two of them become totally inseparable. The human loves not feeling like some kind of crazy outsider and the monster is overjoyed they’ve finally found an equal in this unkillable marshmallow.

Monster: When I was a youngling, a grol-lik stung straight through my armour. The pain lasted for approximately 16 human hours. Human: Oh yeah man, I get that. As a kid I got a wasp stuck in my shirt. It stung me like four times, it was awful, and all my cousins just laughed at me… Monster: [using their arm screen to research human courting methods] I see.

Elf pet guy?

is that what your parents told you when you woke up and your pet elf was gone

Headcanon that Luke and Obi Wan got the money to pay Han Solo by selling the moisture farm at bargain-basement prices in Anchorhead without telling anyone that it was totally torched, and by the time anyone find out they were well off planet. Luke now has a reputation as one of Tattooine’s most famous con men despite the fact that it was Obi Wan who ran the con.

She’s nice (but my grandma is nicer)

Times are troubling and hard right now-but never forget, your Beet loving Grandmother loves you very very much and wants you to be safe.

And for you to eat your vegetables.