268 posts
Latest Posts by hello-apes-of-the-world - Page 6
Mars, Nestle, Hershey, Mondelez, and Cargill enslave children for their chocolate production. The Supreme Court protected them 8-1 in June 2021.
Don’t you mean… horseiffying mistake
Horse Portal
imagine if the oceans were replaced by forests and if you went into the forest the trees would get taller the deeper you went and there’d be thousands of undiscovered species and you could effectively walk across the ocean but the deeper you went, the darker it would be and the animals would get progressively scarier and more dangerous and instead of whales there’d be giant deer and just wow
This is how the golden age of piracy ended.
I recently found out why my mom would never sleep around me when I was a kid. Like she’d never let herself take naps or sleep if I was awake, ever. Or if she did, she would lock her bedroom door. So when I was 6, I was asleep in my bed in the middle of the night when I hear a loud bang, like a pot being dropped and come out to the living room to see my mom standing by the window, with just a huge pile of spaghetti all over the sill, and a pot on the ground, and I ’m like “Are you gonna eat all that?” And ya’ll she get’s BIG MAD and yells at me and chases me to my room but then a little while later a bunch of cops show up and ask me a bunch of random ass questions about my art? Like this one cop lady keeps asking me to draw dragons for her?! And they seem mad as hell
I didn’t want to get arrested so I just never asked my mom for spaghettis after that. Lesson, learned. Don’t ask mom for spaghettis or she’ll call the damn police on you.
So I have this memory in my head, and it goes unquestioned until I say it outload for the first time a few months back and as soon as I say the words “When I was six, my mom called the cops on me for asking for spaghettis” My adult logic slams into place and is like “Hang on. Your mother definatly did not call the police on a 6 year old for asking for spaghetti.”
So obviously that’s not what really went down. I call up my mom to tell her how I remember it and on top of her figuring out why her kid has always been really cagey around spaghettis for the last 3 decades she tells me what really happened.
So on that night, a man tried to break into our house through the front window. It was just my mom, and her kids so she did what she felt she had too and shot him in the head. He’d been wearing a helmet, which landed on the floor under the window.
Now I just want ya’ll to put yourselves in my moms shoes for a minute here. This woman has just taken a human life. The trauma of that- the instant agony, the panic, the guilt, the fear- all of it hitting her at once, her only solace the knowledge that her children are safe. She protected her daughters. No matter the cost to her soul- her children are safe.
Then she looks up and sees her six year old staring at the inside of this mans head before saying “Are you gonna eat all that?”
@boarofthenorth100
TMA Encore #1
Hoping I get around to continuing this. Had it rattling around in my head ever since halfway through season 3, and suddenly the finale inadvertently validated it as a possibility. Christmas came early!
Edit: I am continuing it! And I’m gonna reshade this page to match later pages, so look forward to that.
Next
Here, have your star
Okay so in house of Ashes I think that basically the “vampires” are actually intelligent and formed a civilization but then the parasite came and that’s the reason they’re so violent. That also explains why they were able to build a spaceship/city but didn’t invent guns because the parasite can’t use them so they didn’t. Also explains why they are so physically adept since the parasite made them that way.
I don’t know if this is a common theory but I haven’t seen anyone else say anything and I wanted it out there
Edit: check the comments
This is like those posts that talk about how humans have always been humans and have done dumb things since the beginning of time
I love this so much, I’m gonna start saying “nuts” we need to bring it back
Is it band then album or album then band
this bot that generates metal band names and corresponding album art is fucking incredible
Gregor the Overlander
Specifically Boots
Prompt: You see your younger sibling getting abducted at the park. Panicked, you rush to save them only for the abductor to reveal that they’re not abducting your sibling—your sibling is the world’s Chosen One and they’re here to train them.
I need to know about that one post that’s like “weatherboy (derogatory)” is that stellar firma or that vine
Cool
Space Gerbils (Working Title)
A game for 3–5 players, plus optional GM
Edited 2021-08-15: Modified how the Commander role works – thanks to @we-arerevolutionary for the suggestions. Check the linked PDF in the “What You’ll Need” section if you’re still seeing the old role summary in the image above.
You’re the galaxy’s most famous bounty hunter, but nobody knows your real name, or what your real voice sounds like. In fact, you’ve never taken your helmet off in public, at least as far as anybody knows!
The interstellar tabloids have accused any number of public figures of secretly being you. They are, of course, all wrong. The real reason you never remove your helmet is that you’re actually a bunch of space gerbils operating a human-size mech suit.
You‘re very keen on not letting this get out.
(Special thanks to Caro Asercion, whose cyberpunk micro-RPG Dwindle inspired this game’s core mechanics. At the time of this posting, Dwindle is available as part of Nonbinary TTRPG Month’s Designers of Color bundle on itch.io – go check it out!)
Keep reading
So i watched jungle cruise and since then I’ve been wondering, what would the curse have done to Frank if he had been trapped? I was thinking maybe big cats but that isn’t something you can really dissolve into unlike the others so maybe quicksand, though that’s sorta like the frog/mud guy. So maybe water with fish or something. What do you think?
Scion=What if Superman was a murderous space whale instead of immigrant?
Superman= Superhero who is coded as an immigrant/alien that is the subject of controvery because he supposedly 'doesn't belong'.
Brightburn= What if Superman's people were evil and despite growing up with a loving family, found out about his origins and relented to his nature?
Homelander= What if Superman was evil, and didn't grow up with a loving family but rather seen as an experiment and weapon and not as a person or individual?
Omni-man= What if Superman was raised on his home planet and was a colonizer and supremacist, rather than an immigrant?
Accidental Old Gods of Appalachia appreciation post.
US Elevation.
by @cstats1
I want to read old gods of Appalachia but it looks scary so on a scale of Wolf 359 to the white vault (1-10(if scarier than white vault than go above ten)) how spooky is it
Someone should make a where’s Waldo Tony Hawk edition since his life is already basically where’s Waldo
Something I noticed while rereading Scythe is how much incredible technology is just kind of not noted or in the background besides revival and corner turning. One example is how the incredible nanites aren’t talked about a lot but are amazing or how by the sounds of it they have holographic projectors and weather manipulation that just isn’t really discussed.
Cool universe
A DEATHWORLER'S WAR PT 1
Hunanity's truth universe
From the memiors ambassador Gruxalon of the vanai-ashti.
We were, at the time, the newest members of the Galactic Alliance, the 97th race to be admitted. Upon our admission myself and my fellow ambassadors were invited to the alliance's primary meeting ground, a massive spaceborne station in a system officially owned by no one, meant to be a nuetral ground. Here we were given an orientation of sorts that lasted several weeks, this was understandable as this orientation included detailed dossiers on each of the 96 species as well as the history of the Alliance itself and the responsibilities and laws we would be expected to uphold as a member of it. During our time there we were greeted by ambassadors and congulated on our appointment to the council. Most were cordial, but clearly unhappy with our new position.
This was expected, we had asked to join solely to seek military aid against the Xinali, a hostile race that had made it their mission to drive us to extinction because we were amphibians and they believed amphibians were an unnatural abomination. We were not close to that looming possibility yet, but it was clear that Xinali had superior numbers and firepower to our own, and our war, if left unaided, would eventually become nothing more than delaying the inevitable.
As to the reason we were inducted despite our less than diplomatic purpose, it was our communications and kinetic barrier technologies, they were far and above better than anything anyone in the alliance had, except the humans anyway, THEY had blown science fiction energy shields, but they had steadfastly refused to share that technology with the alliance. They were a bit distrusting and isolationist as I understood it. I remembered their dossier fairly clearly for two reasons, firstly because they were considered the strongest and most disciplined military power in the galaxy, secondly their homeworld had come up when discussing the concept of "deathworlds."
"Deathworld" was a designation granted to any habitable world that housed significant dangers to habitation by sentient species. About 12 of the now 97 member species hailed from deathworlds. Deathworlds had a classification system that went from category 1 to category 10, I don't remember exactly how they differentiated the categories, but i do remember that the larger the number, the worse the planet, I also remember that of the 38 known deathworlds in existence only one rated above a category 4, the human homeworld of Terra was a category 9. Sentient species that evolved to become dominant on such worlds are usually aggressive and militaristic, and they are ALWAYS predatory, humans added isolationist and closed off, to that list of quirks.
As a result it was considered normal that the humans did not always send delegates to alliance meetings, most of the time the topics to be discussed had little to do with them, at least from THEIR perspective. So it came as quite a surprise when I first met one.
We were pleaing again for the Galactic alliance to send military aid and were receiving the typical nonchalant disapproval, these proceedings continued for done tine before the human delegate stood and addressed his camera. Everyone fell silent, it was known that the human delegate was not often present, and when he was, he rarely addressed the council, I had, to that point, never heard him speak.
"What the hell is wrong with you people!?" He opened aggressively "What's even the point of a council if you're not going to act on the behalf of a member. It wouldn't even bd all that difficult or resource intensive to help them!"
I was taken aback I had certainly not expected support to come from the absentee and isolationist human delegation. In truth they had a reputation for not really wanting to get involved in the affairs of others, it had been the primary reason we made no attempt at diplomacy with them.
"Perhaps for you deathworlder, but for most of us a war is a very serious affair!" Another delagate answered.
"And you believe it is not one for us?" The Human diplomat replied. "Do you think it easy having such power at our fingertips? Do you think we wish to abandon diplomacy and turn a prestigious place like this to dust, simply because we can? We are NOT so petty.'
At this point the Consulate rose in the center platform of the space, placing himself between the two arguing races.
"Enough with this consternation." He said "I think we all know the true reason the humans are so adamant about this. This is about the Cithir incident, isn't it ambassador?"
The human hung his head low, he looked remorseful and defeated "yes Consulate, we have waited a long time for such an opportunity."
My spines rattled a bit at that statement, opportunity for what? His race would not be used for some dark deathworlder experiment.
"If that IS the case, then i suggest leaving the issue of military intervention in the hands of the humans, the ambassadors in question may hash out the details between themselves." This was met with raucous applause. "In the meantime!" The consulate continued silencing the crowd "we will discuss the sending of foodstuffs and supplies to the Vanai-Ashti, because if i can speak plainly ambassador Orillion had a point, we DO exist as a community to help one another, and if we are unwilling to do so in any capacity, then we will have failed as a community AND as a council, we are responsible to do at least this much, agreed!?"
Less enthusiastic applause this time, but nearly twenty ambassadors offered to sue for aid from their homeworlds.
I was nearly swallowing my own throat afterwards, I had never met any deathworlders much less the apparent worst of them. These were predators, powerful predators, I acquainted myself with their dossier as I waited for their ambassador's arrival at our diplomatic suite.
They averaged a meter taller than us, they possessed shielded, gun covered ships, their homeworld's gravity was five times our own, and they were, apparently, nigh unkillable monsters. Their bodies produced something called "adrenaline" under stress, it essentially reversed the function of going into shock, rather than killing them this caused them to become numb to pain and unable to feel fear, it gives a burst of energy and sharpens their senses. This substance is the reason the Galactic alliance is able to treat shock, i single litre of it can treat over a million people, and humans trade it for information, technology, passage through territory rights etc. It is SO potent that they can refuse to share their shield tech and still make more money than nearly any other member species.
A tapping at the door caused me to jump out of my seat, i put away the dossier and answered, as the human looked down at me i must've have done poor job of concealing my fear. Because he knelt down to my level and assured me he meant me no harm.
"Maxwell Orillion," he said, "nice to meet you."
"Gruxalon of the house fùrl," I answered "it is likewise nice to meet you."
"So what kind of creatures are these…" he tapped at a screen on his wrist "...Xinali?"
They are an Avian race." I answered keeping information short.
"Not to sound unhratefull, but you and Consulate Grak mentioned something called, 'the Cithir incident' and you said humanity has waited for this opportunity. What exactly do you plan to DO with us?"
"What do you mean DO to you?" Ambassador Orillion looked genuinely confused.
"Well I don't expect you intend to save our asses with no compensation." I replied a bit indignantly.
"What…?" Orillion stared at him in bewilderment for a moment begore something clicked behind his eyes "oooooooooh, you're new, you wouldn't know yet, I'm terribly sorry I'm just so used to everyone knowing." He said.
"Knowing what?" I asked.
"Uh… hmm… this is rather delicate, understand, it's kept out of dossiers for a reason."
"Okay…" i said.
"When we tried to colonize outside our home system for the first time, we ran into and insectoid race called the Cithir, to simplify matters a bit oyr people were split in how wanted to handle the Cithir, the larger group wanted to make contact and attempt peaceful negotiations, the smaller, but more powerful, and rich group wanted to kill them off so they could divy up the planet and sell the land to the highest bidder. That group succeeded, we eventually caught them and made them face judgment. But the fact that humanity genocided an entire race, doesn't sit well with us and we have been looking for an opportunity to atone."
I took this all in, it was a lot… it took me a few minutes, no wonder everyone was so afraid of them. I cleared my throat.
"So if i understand this… you committed genoside and by stopping the Xinali, you see that as like… undoing that?"
"No… what we did cannot be undone." Abassador Orrilluon said, "but we hope it can be forgiven."
Woah
You’re the most recognised and internationally praised superhero, but you don’t fight any crime. Instead, you use your powers over stone and metal to repair the damage caused by the catastrophic fights other heroes get into.
Ok so what if instead of humans are space orcs we’re just space cockroaches with a weird knack to survive anything and to be able to live in tons of conditions.
Also it sounds like sci-fi but one day (possibly very long one day) with genetic technology even extinct creatures may eventually be brought back.
