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please, untitled document was my father, call me untitled document (1)

hey i was caramelizing your boyfriend and he uh. he stuck to the pan. yeah i didn’t deglaze it enough and he’s really burnt on there. i mean we can soak him for a while and see if we can scrape him up but i’m not optimistic. sorry.

req’d by @barsom-fearce

YEA I’D SAY THATS A GOOD IDEA

text: Remember kids, don’t be an idiot like me and put metal in the microwave 

They really should teach people how to cook in school.

Halfling Oatmeal Sweet Nibbles

“Dense with oats, chocolate chips, and butterscotch, these diminutive cookies are perfect for halfling hands… and the stomachs of everyone.”- Heroes’ Feast, p. 128

Whether you’re looking to make tasty treats for yourself or something sweet for a bake sale - cookies are the ultimate go-to. With so much deliciousness packed into something that’s simple to make, they’re the perfect choice!

The chocolate-butterscotch chip cookies from Heroes’ Feast will knock your socks off when you try them! Served at room temperature, these little guys are the perfect combination of crunchy on the outside and soft, chocolaty goodness on the inside.

They’re also the perfect addition to any lunchbox! Their small size makes them easy to nibble on and easier to share! So, why not impress friends, both old and new, with a batch of these bad boys? They’re sure to be a hit!

See below for my notes on the results and for some helpful tips and tricks when making this yourself! Get Heroes’ Feast here: https://dnd.wizards.com/heroes-feast

Prep Time: 5 mins               Cook Time: 55 mins               Overall: 60 mins

For the ingredients*:

1 ½ cups (190 g) all-purpose flour

2 cups (180 g) rolled oats

1 tsp. (1.25 g) baking soda

½ tsp. (3 g) kosher salt

1 ½ cups (255 g) packed light brown sugar

1 cup (128 g) unsalted butter, at room temperature

1 egg, beaten

2 tsp. (10 ml) pure vanilla extract

1 cup (150 g) semisweet chocolate chips

1 cup (150 g) butterscotch chips

* Heroes’ Feast says that this makes ~45 cookies. I made 40.

First, I preheated the oven to 350℉ (177℃) and lined two large baking trays with parchment paper. You’re going to be baking 2 trays at a time, so move both of your oven racks to the middle of the oven (one in one set of grooves and the other directly below it). It will look like a tight space, but the tray and cookies will fit!

Next, I whisked together the flour, rolled oats, baking soda, and kosher salt in a bowl.

In a large bowl, I started by beating the butter and brown sugar until well combined (upper-left). Then, I added the egg and vanilla extract and whisked until smooth (upper-right).

Once the wet ingredients were combined, I stirred in the dry ingredients (upper-left). Then, added the chocolate and butterscotch chips and mixed until they were well-distributed (upper-right).

To bake the cookies, I scooped rounded tablespoons of batter and placed each one on the baking tray 2 inches apart (upper-left). I baked them for 15 minutes, rotating the positions of the pans halfway through.

Heroes’ Feast advises that smaller cookies will take less time to cook and that reusing trays will significantly cut the cooking time - so keep an eye on later batches.

I misread the directions for the first tray (left tray in upper-left) and rolled the batter after scooping it instead of just placing it on the tray. You can see how they turned out differently in the upper-right picture. They have much more of a smooth “traditional” cookie shape to them as opposed to the cookies on the right tray that look more rustic and bumpy. More about my thoughts on this in the results section.

After the cookies baked, I let them cool on the tray for around 3 minutes and then transferred them to a wire rack. I repeated this process until I ran out of batter.

Overall, I would give these cookies a 5/5. They are incredibly rich and the perfect cure for any sweet tooth. Due to the large amount of sugar in them, I don’t recommend eating them with Hot Cocoa Broth (p.188). Rather, they make a great snack while enjoying a cup of black tea (red rose, earl grey) or coffee.

As mentioned in a previous step, I rolled out the batter for the cookies on one of the trays before placing them. In my opinion, I prefer the ones made this way over just placing them on the tray. Rolling the batter allows for more structure and gives the cookies a nice soft interior.

To keep them fresh, keep them in an airtight container at room temperature for up to 3 days. They can also be kept in an airtight container in the fridge for up to a week - though you’ll want to give them a few minutes to warm up on the counter before snacking!

FUN FACT: These cookies were so popular in my house that I only had five cookies left by the time I took the first and last pictures! (I started with 40!)

cooking baking

a customer just came in and ordered a flat white with six (6) shots in it. for clarity thats like.. a full cup of espresso with maybe an inch of milk sitting on top. this mf is trying to meet the hat man

see you in the next life king!

the dynamic

Phill: *telling tommy off*

Tommy: *trying to explain himself but is actually digging a deeper hole*

Wilbur: *singing something*

Techno: guys- guys please focus we need to win the game