Hi Guys. Woke Up To This On My Phone Today. Zero Fucking Recollection Of Writing This Down

Super Flaky All-Butter Pie Crust

No matter the filling you use, the backbone of any good pie is the light, buttery, melt-in-your-mouth crust. As such an important part of the pie experience, it can seem very daunting to make it yourself: you need to keep the dough cold, not overwork it, and why does every recipe want lard or shortening?!

Luckily, after much time searching, I have found the most amazing recipe combo that has all of the buttery-flakiness you expect from a pie crust with minimal effort!

In addition to wanting to learn how to make pie crust, I decided to give it a go because Heroes’ Feast calls for a lot of “sheets of pie crust” and no matter how hard I searched my grocery stores, I could never find it. So, I hope that all of you in a similar situation can use this for your pies! You’ll find that going back to store-bought will never be the same.

See below for my tips and tricks for making your own buttery, super flaky crust at home!

(This recipe is both inspired by and a modification of Katy Perry’s pie crust (here) and a food processor method I found (here))

Prep: ~5 mins               Cook time: ~1h 15 mins                   Overall: ~1h 20 mins

For the ingredients:

2 ½ cups (313 g) all-purpose flour

20 tbsp. (284 g) salted butter

½ cup (118 ml) ice-cold water

TIP: If you don’t have salted butter, use 20 tbsp. unsalted butter and add ½ tsp. + ⅛ tsp. of kosher salt.

If using salted butter, add 1 ½ cups (188 g) of flour to the food processor.

If using unsalted butter, combine 1 ½ cups (188 g) of flour and salt in a food processor and pulse to combine (4-5 pulses).

Scatter butter cubes over the flour mixture and process until dough or paste begins to form (above-left). This should take ~15 secs and there should be no uncoated flour.

Next, redistribute the flour-butter mixture in the food processor (above-right).

Add the remaining 1 cup (125 g) of flour and pulse until the flour is properly distributed and becomes crumbly. This usually takes me ~7-8 pulses.

Transfer dough to a medium-sized mixing bowl. To help keep the dough cool, I put the bowl in the fridge when I start preparing the ingredients.

Sprinkle 4 tbsp. of ice-cold water over the dough. Use a rubber spatula to press the dough pieces together until they start to form larger clumps.

To test if it’s ready, take a piece of dough and pinch it between your fingers (above-left). If it holds together, you’re good to go. If it crumbles, add 2-4 more tbsp. and keep combining.

Once the dough is ready keep the dough in the bowl or transfer it to a clean surface and work it just enough so that it forms a ball.

NOTE: I would definitely advise starting with 4 tbsp. of ice-cold water. I thought I had added enough after 2 tbsp. (directed in Katy Perry’s recipe) but the dough kept breaking when I took it out of the fridge to roll out. This isn’t as much of an issue when using 4 tbsp.

Cut your dough ball into two halves and press them into discs. Wrap each half in cling wrap and let it chill in the fridge for at least an hour or up to 2 days before rolling it out (it should feel super hard).

If you’re pre-making your dough, it can stay in the freezer for up to 3 months! Just remember to thaw it out in the fridge overnight before using.

Personally, I would rate this pie crust recipe a 5/5. As long as you take care to not let the dough get too warm, your pie crust will be as buttery, light, and flaky as can be!

The pies shown in this post are the Elven Maruths on p. 64. Get the book here!: https://dnd.wizards.com/heroes-feast

You will never be a mad scientist like the motherfuckers at r/macarons

Fun Facts About Honey

- Honey is mostly sugar (WoW!) it is 80% sugar and 20% water (double WoW!)

- There are over 20,000 species of bees, but only 4 make HONEY

-Honey is the ONLY food that contains all the substances you need to survive (Including WATER)

-Children under the age of 1 should not eat honey… why? because sometimes it contains bad stuff called botulism and can cause them to get botulism poisoning (that sucks, even infants should taste the deliciousness that is honey)

-Honey will crystallize under optimum temperatures (this has a lot to do with how you store it)

-Bees produce honey to eat during the winter when there are no flowers and no nectar for them.

-A honeybee would only need an ounce of honey to be able to fuel a flight around the world (this makes for a very cultural bee!)

-A typical beehive can make up to 400 pounds of honey a year! (Wowza!)

hey y’all don’t forget to migrate your mojang account if you haven’t cause if you don’t Microsoft is gonna revoke ownership of your Minecraft copy for literally no fucking reason except to try to trap you into buying it again!

CUTOFF IS IN THREE DAYS (9/19/23).

Even if you don’t play anymore, don’t let these fools rob you.

oh butter FUCKS. this is so groovy!!

Green Guardians: Peppermint Patties

Did you know? MCC 7’s Green Guardians hold the current record for most coins scored in a single event, with 25’346!

Time for another MCC dessert: Green Guardians Peppermint Patties!

They may be the Green Geckos now, but my idea for this predates the change so I’m considering it valid lmao. This was a lot of fun to make and introduced me to coloured melting chocolate and candy food dye.

The white chocolate makes these a little sweeter than you would expect for a peppermint patty and they go great with a hot cup of coffee, tea, or hot chocolate!

Check out below for the recipe to make some of your own, and, of course, thank you Scott Smajor.

(Inspired by the peppermint patties from B. Dylan Hollis’ TikTok)

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Decided to do something fun with my copy of Heroes’ Feast to mark the occasion!

(<-spent hours writing and got nowhere >:/)

Voting is OPEN!: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/LHFG8PD

Check out all of the unofficial 2021 Heroes’ Feast Gingerbread Showcase entries and vote for your favourite!

The winner will be announced December 24th at 3pm EST!

Homely Halfling House (Gringerbread)

“A traditional treat served in the waning light of the month of Sunsebb in Greyhawk, this style of gingerbread man memorializes a legend about the ancient ruins of Castle Greyhawk.”- Heroes’ Feast, p. 43

Here’s my entry for the unofficial 2021 Heroes’ Feast Gingerbread Showcase that I’m participating in with:

@afinickyguide

Samantha Nahra

Luboffin_ (Luna)

Check out their gingerbread houses and use this Survey Monkey link to vote for your favourite! : https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/LHFG8PD

As the chilly winds descend on Fearûn, there’s nothing more comforting to a halfling than cozying up in their house by the fireplace with their favourite book and a steaming cup of cocoa broth.

So, as we all settle in for the winter months ahead, bring some cozy warmth and joy to your holiday season and create your own halfling house!

Spiced without being overbearing, these cookies are a great dessert to serve with coffee or hot chocolate, or pack them in a cookie bundle with some Earl Grey cookies and Banana-Cranberry muffins!

Remember to vote for your favourite house using the Survey Monkey link!

Check out below for my process in creating the house and for some helpful tips and tricks when making this yourself! Get Heroes’ Feast here: https://dnd.wizards.com/heroes-feast

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