This Collab Was Not On My 2023 Bingo Card

Oh my god

The problem with putting s’mores as a technical challenge is that baking your own s’more from scratch defeats the purpose of s’mores which is of course to spend ten minutes trying to get a crappy store bought marshmallow the perfect golden brown color before going “fuck it” and letting it catch fire then frantically putting it on a graham cracker with hershey’s chocolate before it falls off of the stick you found on the ground

LAST CHANCE TO VOTE before the poll closes for the unofficial 2021 Heroes’ Feast Gingerbread Showcase ft. myself, @afinickyguide​ , Luboffin_ , and Samantha Nahra!!

VOTE: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/LHFG8PD

Homely Halfling House (Gringerbread)

“A traditional treat served in the waning light of the month of Sunsebb in Greyhawk, this style of gingerbread man memorializes a legend about the ancient ruins of Castle Greyhawk.”- Heroes’ Feast, p. 43

Here’s my entry for the unofficial 2021 Heroes’ Feast Gingerbread Showcase that I’m participating in with:

@afinickyguide

Samantha Nahra

Luboffin_ (Luna)

Check out their gingerbread houses and use this Survey Monkey link to vote for your favourite! : https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/LHFG8PD

As the chilly winds descend on Fearûn, there’s nothing more comforting to a halfling than cozying up in their house by the fireplace with their favourite book and a steaming cup of cocoa broth.

So, as we all settle in for the winter months ahead, bring some cozy warmth and joy to your holiday season and create your own halfling house!

Spiced without being overbearing, these cookies are a great dessert to serve with coffee or hot chocolate, or pack them in a cookie bundle with some Earl Grey cookies and Banana-Cranberry muffins!

Remember to vote for your favourite house using the Survey Monkey link!

Check out below for my process in creating the house and for some helpful tips and tricks when making this yourself! Get Heroes’ Feast here: https://dnd.wizards.com/heroes-feast

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hi guys. woke up to this on my phone today. zero fucking recollection of writing this down

I was making spaghetti and I woke up mid-cooking and set an alarm for when the pasta was done.

Pumpkin Shaped Dinner Rolls

"On Halloween night, the Great Pumpkin rises from his pumpkin patch and flies through the air with his bag of toys to [give to] all the children." - Linus, It’s The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown!

Happy Halloween everyone! I’ve been a huge fan of Charlie Brown for as long as I can remember. Every year, my family watches the specials on TV and I must have read each volume in my grandmother’s massive collection at least three times.

So, when I saw this tumblr post late last year, I knew exactly what I wanted to make for Halloween this year… but with a twist! After some trial and error, I’ve found a way to add cinnamon/pumpkin spice sugar to these rolls while avoiding a massive pocket of it.

So, grab your fall-themed drink of choice and check out below for how to make a batch of these delicious pull-apart dinner rolls for yourself! The great pumpkin may just pay you a visit for your troubles…

(Based on the post by Chef John from All Recipes and the tumblr post linked above.)

Prep: 20 mins             Cook:  3 hrs             Total: 3 hrs 20 mins

Ingredients:

1 cup (240 ml) milk, warm

1 packet (2 ½ tsp, 6.5 g) active dry yeast

1 tbsp. (15 ml) honey

4 tbsp. (57 g) butter, melted

1 tsp (6 g) salt

2 ¾ cup (345 g) all-purpose flour, plus ¼ cup (30 g) more for dusting

Kitchen string cut into 12 32-inch long pieces

Vegetable oil

Pour in the warm milk, yeast, honey, and butter into a large bowl and stir to combine (top-left).

Next, add the salt and the 2 ¾ cups of flour. Using a wooden spoon, stir in the flour until a shaggy, sticky dough forms (top-right).

Turn the sticky dough out onto a clean, lightly floured work surface and knead the dough until it becomes smooth, elastic, and is no longer sticky, about 10 minutes. 

Form the dough into a rough ball shape by tucking in the sides. Lightly coat a medium or large bowl with vegetable oil and transfer the dough seam-side down (top-left).

Cover the bowl with lightly greased plastic wrap or a dish cloth and let rise until the dough has doubled in size, about 1 ½ hours (top-right).

Meanwhile, prepare two baking trays with parchment paper or reusable silicon liners.

TIP: I found that only about 3 tsp (8 g) of the reserved dusting flour spread out onto the board was needed to keep the dough workable without the buns becoming dense.

TIP: Remember from the video, you’ll know the dough has been kneaded enough when it springs back after being lightly pressed and you can stretch out a piece the dough like a windowpane without it ripping. The windowpane should also be able to support the weight of the rest of the piece of dough without ripping.

Once the dough has doubled in size, turn it out onto your clean work surface and knead it a few times to bring it back together.

Next, either cut the dough in half and divide each half into six even wedges or divide the dough into 50g - 55g portions using a kitchen scale.

Knead each portion a little and then pull in the edges of the dough to create a ball (like the big dough ball). Secure the its shape by placing the ball seam-side down on the work surface and gently rolling it with the palm of a clawed hand, for about 10 seconds.

Once the smaller dough balls have been formed, place them seam-side down on the prepared baking tray, cover, and let rest for 15 minutes.

Meanwhile, place the pieces of kitchen string in bowl and toss them with a generous amount of vegetable oil. 

NOTE: Do not move onto the next step without this first rest. The dough will expand way too much around the string if you wrap it immediately.

Optional addition to this step:

If you’d would like slightly sweeter rolls to dip in coffee or tea, you can add some cinnamon/pumpkin spice sugar after kneading the measured portions and before shaping the rolls.

First, roll the dough flat and spread ~⅛ tsp. of the sugar mixture on one half (top left). Then, fold in half so the sugar mixture is covered and spread another ~⅛ tsp. on half of the folded dough (top right).

Fold in half again and follow the shaping instructions above to seal the rolls.

NOTE: If you put ¼ tsp. of the sugar mixture in the middle of the rolled dough and shape it from there, the mixture will not be evenly distributed throughout the dough - you’ll just get a dry sugar bomb in the middle of the roll.

After letting them rest, working one roll at a time, place the end of one piece of string on the seam-side of the roll with enough of an overhang to tie a double knot latter, ~2 inches (5 cm).

Wrap the string around the dough so eight sections are created. Unlike the tumblr video in the intro, I wrap the string around the dough in one motion (no crisscrossing or twisting strings).

The string should be secure but loose enough that it isn’t pressing much on the dough before the knot is tied.

Once wrapped, double knot the string so there is enough pressure to form small indents and return the roll to the baking tray knot-side down (which should also be seam-side down).

Cover and let rest for an additional 30 minutes. Preheat the oven to 375॰F (190॰C) with the oven rack in the middle of the oven.

TIP: Any adjustments to the placement of the string should be made before the knot is tied. The string is virtually unmovable at that point.

TIP: If you’re choosing to add the sugar mixture, set a 15 minute timer once you’ve shaped the first roll. Depending on how long it takes to get through all the dough, you may be able to start wrapping the string around the rolls as soon as you finish shaping the last one.

Sift a little bit of flour on top of each roll (top left).

Bake until the rolls have lightly browned and sound hollow when knocked, about 20 to 25 mins (top right).

Once the rolls have cooled enough to handle, cut the strings off of each roll from the bottom. Slowly and carefully unwrap each roll, removing any strands of string that get stuck.

NOTE: It might have been the string I was using, but I found a lot of little strands were left behind as I unwrapped the rolls. The best solution for this I found was: 

Not to wring out any of the vegetable oil from the string when I took it from the bowl and, 

Have my finger directly behind the string as it slowly peeled away from the roll to help all the little strands come off. 

You’ll probably still need to go in an remove some from where the knot was tied, but this should get rid of most of them.

Finally, cut one or two cinnamon sticks into ¾ inch (2 cm) pieces and press one into the tops of each roll to create the stems.

TIP: To cut the cinnamon sticks, use a steak knife to make a small groove and then snap them at that mark. It’ll really save the durability of your knives. Use long sawing motions instead of short ones.

Voilà, your very own pumpkin dinner rolls! Overall, I would give these a 4.5/5 for the regular ones and a 4/5 for the sugar mixture ones - not because of the taste, but for the process.

Cutting the string, soaking them in oil, plus the wrapping, tying, and unwrapping nearly drove me insane each time. I would recommend making these, especially the sugar mixture ones, with a friend. The extra hands (and jokes) will go a long way.

In the end, although they were a little awkward to make, they were definitely a fun way to get into the spirit of the season (and flex on everyone /j)!

Yawning Portal Buttermilk Biscuits

While the inn’s undisputed main attraction is the cavernous portal that descends straight into deadly Undermountain dungeon, these famed biscuits are a close second. - Heroes’ Feast, p. 31

I’ve always wanted to make biscuits, but was never motivated enough on a Sunday morning to take the time to prep and clean my bread board to knead dough. So, it was a wonderful surprise  when I saw this no-knead recipe for biscuits in Heroes’ Feast!

Crunchy on the outside and soft on the inside, these biscuits are so melt-in-your-mouth delicious that you’ll throw away any other recipe you have.  Whether eaten warm, at room temperature, or a day or two later, they are an amazing on-the-go breakfast snack that pairs well with any jam.

To really spice up your morning, try them with a side of Otik’s Skillet-Fried Spiced Potatoes!

See below for my notes on the results and for some helpful tips and tricks when making these yourself! Get Heroes’ Feast here: https://dnd.wizards.com/heroes-feast

Prep Time:  ~20 mins         Cook Time: ~50 mins (30 bake, 20 cool)        Total Time: ~1h 10min

For the ingredients:

12 tbsp. unsalted butter (2 tbsp. at room temp. 10 tbsp. chilled)

3 ½ cups all-purpose flour

1 ½ tsp. baking powder

½ tsp. baking soda

1.25 tsp. kosher salt

1 ½ tsp. sugar

1 2/3 cups buttermilk

I use the following conversion in my cooking:

1 cup all-purpose flour = 125 g

1 tbsp. butter = 14 g

1 tsp. sugar = 4 g

1 tsp. baking powder = 4 g

1 tsp. baking soda = 8 g

1 tsp. kosher salt = 6 g

TIP: If you don’t have unsalted butter, lower the salt content by ~1/3 tsp (2 g).

Above is what the dry ingredients looked like after I broke up the chilled cubed butter into pea-sized pieces.

TIP: Cut your butter into cubes and store it in the fridge until you add it to the dry ingredients. The colder the butter is (without freezing!), the better the pockets of buttery-goodness will turn out.

Above is what the dough looked like after adding the buttermilk. Be aware, it will be a very sticky dough.

Sometimes, you might find that there’s a little bit of flour at the bottom of the bowl that won’t mix in.  This is okay! Just put in in the baking dish with the rest of the dough.

Heroes’ Feast mentions doing this, but I want to reinforce that it is very important to grease the spatula before scoring the biscuit dough. The dough is incredibly sticky and will be a nightmare to deal with if using an ungreased spatula.

I don’t have my 8 x 8 pan with me right now, but I do have a 7 x 11 x 2 glass dish. To account for both the dough being shallower and the baking dish being made of glass, I decreased the cooking time by 6 minutes.

While making these, I found that you don’t need to flour your hands and push the dough to the corners of the pan. If you have a strong enough silicone spatula, you can easily grease it and move the dough around that way. No need to get your hands dirty!

Don’t forget to rotate the baking dish halfway through cooking!

Above is what the biscuits looked like after they came out of the oven and were brushed with butter.

TIP: To remove the biscuits from the baking dish with as little hassle as possible, place a large cutting board over the baking pan and invert it onto the board. The biscuits will slide out easily and you can transfer them to the cooling rack from there.

Overall, I would give these biscuits a 5/5. They’ve quickly become a Sunday morning staple and I always have to stop my family from eating them before they cool-down!

If you’re planning on having them with jam, I’d recommend not adding any more butter. The butter content is so high that they don’t need any more of it.

For best freshness results, store them in a paper bag on your kitchen counter. They will keep for 2-3 days.

2021 HEROES’ FEAST GINGERBREAD SHOWCASE WINNERS

RESULTS ARE IN the winners of the unofficial 2021 Heroes’ Feast Gingerbread Showcase are:

In 1st place, @afinickyguide​ with their fancy inn!

In 2nd place, the cozy 3 Weird Elves inn by Samantha Nahra!

In 3rd place, Luboffin’s grandiose castle!

And in 4th place, myself with the Homely Halfling House!

Thank you to everyone who participated in the showcase and to those who voted - this couldn’t have happened without you!

I say this with my whole heart; it is an honour to carry on your legacy alongside millions of lives you've changed for the better.