What Keeps You By My Side?

What keeps you by my side?

Levi x reader

Canon world

Postwar levi

Fluff

His back resting on the headboard of his bed, generated an uncomfortable burning, not as much as in the first days of recovery that he transitioned after the end of the war.

this is the end? To continue living, was it my prize as a warrior? Or was it a punishment for the lives I took?

He thought more than once.

His return to Paradise was immediately denied due to his conditions. He would have to stay at Marley until his physical health improved.

They also said that he should improve psychologically from war damage, like all soldiers. In fact, Marley had an advanced psychological rehabilitation system, due to his years of military experience.

And what else could he do?

All he had was his memories and the guilt of dying on purpose. He couldn't do that to the soldiers who died for the freedom. He couldn't give himself up to the arms of death voluntarily, he didn't deserve it.

What kept him slightly hopeful?

Sure, you.

His fellow recruit who had been around since almost the beginning. Who had loved Erwin as much as he had. Who had stayed by his side. The only one who bet on Levi's full recovery. He still didn't understand the source of your loyalty.

"The water is really hot here" You said coming out of the bathroom with a towel on your head. The steam confirmed the words previously said by you.

Your bandages were clean white. They were new.

Your red, puffy eyes.

You also suffered from remorse. Your body scars reminded you of your internal injuries. Every time you saw those marks on your back, you remembered how your partner was stepped on by that Titan. How your family collapsed like your house. How you had to kill comrades with your bare hands.

Maybe that made you stay with him. Both understood the pain of so many years not knowing what was around them, and the despair of a promising future for the inhabitants within the walls.

"Come, now it's your turn" You said approaching with a smile and eyes wrinkled by the grimace. "You must be suffering from the dirt", you let out a laugh.

After the war ended, in addition to staying with him, you decided to take charge of his care to be as far away as possible from proudly Marlean citizens whose remorse for the island's demons was still burning like the first day. You watched to see if the doctors and nurses who visited them made any suspicious moves, but nothing ever happened.

That's why there you were, holding tightly to your ex-captain from his armpits, to be able to place him in his wheelchair.

Who would have thought, right? Mankind's strongest soldier, depending on the kindness of another female soldier to sit on a chair and be bathed.

You bathed him and disinfected his wounds. Job that first belonged to the nurses, but after the critical moment, it became yours.

And you had focused so much on that that you sometimes forgot you were also a recognized heroine for the recovery of peace.

The image in his eyes was quite absurd. Levi without being able to do anything, and you, testing all your physical strength trained for years, to be able to lift him, hold him in the air, and move the wheelchair with your foot to be able to position it in a more comfortable place.

It looked like it wasn't an easy job, but Levi knew you wouldn't say anything.

But he just shut up and ate his embarrassment, he had no choice. Until that moment.

"You know? This is useless" He said after almost falling out of your arms because of your mistake "Call the doctors and go back to your house, to Paradise"

His voice was like an angry old man. The first thing you thought was that you were the useless one, you couldn't think if there would be any problem with the help itself.

"You're as much a warrior as I am damn, you can't spend your days of freedom helping someone you don't owe anything to, I'm not your fucking captain anymore!"

Your face changed, from a surprised one to a serious one. You continued with your task, regardless of the words of your former captain.

"Come on, what is it that keeps you by my side? If we both know that there is no future for me in this new life". He said almost resignedly, with sadness never before taught by him. Over time, Levi felt that he could open up a little more, he felt you were more of a partner.

You took him to the bathroom, obstinate to fulfill your task. "You no longer owe me anything, you have done your duty".

"I never minded serving you, Levi." You finally spoke. You started by undoing the top button of his shirt, but he wouldn't let you. You looked at him scolding him.

"Levi" you sighed deeply "Who do you have in your life inside the walls?" He didn't say anything, looking down in pain "Me. Not even your recruits, because they don't know you from before not knowing about life outside of Paradise, they don't know you before hope. They don't know Mike, Hange, Petra. They don't know Erwin. We do. We're all we have left, and I can't afford to lose another memory. I already told you on our previous visit to Marley, let's be each other's reason for living."