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BURY ME FACE DOWN — DAINSLEIF

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★⋆. ࿐ PAIRING — Dainsleif x Princess!Reader

★⋆. ࿐ SUMMARY — In a land where the gods' gaze did not fall, there are those who dream of dreaming. Khaenri'ah, a nation who did not follow any archon but bowed to a king, was home to those who longed for a world without the weight of Celestia looming over their shoulders. But dreams end, and nightmares can take root— especially once their hidden corner is put under the microscope of the gods.

★⋆. ࿐ WARNINGS — Lore & theory based world building. Pre-Cataclysm Khaenri'ah. Readers visions are meant to be dysphoric & chaotic.

“The end of the Drekaöld’s is nigh, just as you predicted.”

You looked up from the book you had your nose buried in, facing your tutor who had been sitting across from you. It was as if he was waiting for the right moment to tell you what you already knew. 

You rose an eyebrow, gently closing the book in your hands, “Yggdrasil has yet to fail me, Master Frode. My father and the sage's may not believe in my sights, but you of all people should know they are true.”

He gave you a flat look, used to the slight smugness you radiated at being told another one of your sights were ringing true. From the first time he'd watched your face go blank and seen your hands rapidly scribble images onto a blank page, he knew you had been blessed by Yggdrasil. Ever since you were a babe, really. Born under the tree of life just as the first Bough Seer had been. 

Frode was one of the greatest scholars that Khaenri'ah had. It was the reason he taught not just you, but your elder brother Finn, and it was the reason he was your father's regent. His family started off as scribe's for Khaenri'ah’s first king, and knowledge was passed down with each generation. Who better to take the throne if something were to happen to the royal family than those in the Alberich clan? One day, his son could possibly be regent to Finn. 

“The legacy of the Bough Seer has been spoken throughout generations,” Frode let out a sigh. “It isn't that your father and the sages don't believe in your gift. It is that they are afraid of it.”

They were. The sages never wanted to hear talk of what sight the tree of life gives you. Their fear of Celestia not only had your nation underground and far from their gaze, it had the people pushing to get further away. Time, money, and resources were being dumped into bringing machines that could drill to the inverted surface, but there wasn't much progress with it. All in hopes that one day the people could see the sun shining again. 

Khaenri'ah had always been shrouded in darkness– from the minute that Celestia had dropped a nail on their ancestors in Sal Vindagnyr. Above the surface, tragedy struck those seeking refuge, and underground everything they had worked for was smashed to pieces. Up until finding the small corner of the world where they couldn't be found, the odds of survival were not high. 

The land they resided in now was built on blood, loss, and sheer spite to keep living without Celstia breathing down their neck. All because the ancestors had learned certain truths and began to rely on each other rather than the god’s bounties. 

“Are you calling my father a coward, Master Frode?” your lip tugged upward, a teasing smile gracing your lips at the startled look on his face. “You'd be correct, I suppose. The people do not have the slightest clue a Bough Seer was once again reborn, even though in the past they were once the king's greatest asset.”

Very few kings of the Eclipse Dynasty were fortunate enough to have a seer by their side. They were born once every five hundred years, and they were blessed by Yggdrasil with a sight that allowed them to see glimpses of what was to come. While most foresaw how the harvest would go, and if natural disaster would strike, it was still better than anything the sages could guess. With a Bough Seer, they were practically useless. 

However, your father chose to ignore your gift. He depended on the sages rather than you. Maybe it was because he feared the wrath of gods that you weren't supposed to believe in, or maybe it was because every time you were around him, all he could see was your mother. 

When you told him that Nidhug, Khaenri'ah’s true guardian, was going to fall ill and pass on, he refused to hear you. The sages believed his time would come far in the future. He was in perfect health, and there was no need to worry. 

But Nidhug was old. He had been around since the beginning of Khaenri'ah’s time. Your ancestors spent nine days fighting him, nine weeks gaining his trust, and nine months taming him before they could even think about touching the soil for anything other than farming. A dragon who had lived for thousands of years, alone until your people had found him. 

The dragonheirs were few and far between, eventually wiped out due to their untamable nature despite countless attempts to tame them as well. There was no creature who could take his place.

Weeks ago, you'd seen his fate. The way he barely moved an inch when approached, his labored breathing, and how long it took him to pry his eyes open when he was spoken to. He was going to die, and Khaenri'ah would no longer have its greatest defense. 

“I'm sure the meeting will be over soon,” Frode let out a sigh. “Sir Dainsleif will be able to take you to see him.”

You shook your head, “You could always accompany me as well. Unless—”

“Father!” A child's voice called out, the rapid patter of tiny footsteps echoing off the wall. “Look! Look what Master Gustav taught me!”

The boy was no older than seven, his hair styled to match his fathers– the top section pulled into a ponytails the rest laid down flat. You thought it was cute, how he always tried to look and act like the older man. Although he took after his mother Svana, with his tanned skin and blue hair, he did have Frode’s eyes. 

The white haired man went to scold his son for interrupting when you spoke up instead, “May I see too, Kaeya?”

It was almost as if he just realized you were there as he came to a stop in front of his father. His eyes widened, almost dropping what he had in his hand and reaching out to grab Frode’s arm. He froze, glancing at the elder man with a look that screamed for help. Kaeya had always been shy. Immediately embarrassed if he spoke too loud or gained unwanted attention. This time, it was because he didn't notice you, the princess he always saw but had barely spoken three words to. 

Frode nodded at the boy, and Kaeya held out a small wooden animal, one that looked to be carved and whittled by his own hand. Even though it lacked major details, it held just enough to make out what it was.

“Master Gustav said a dragon protects us,” Kaeya forced himself to speak. “He taught me how to carve the wood. I made it for mother, do you think she’ll like it?”

You smiled, gently taking his hand in yours before looking over his creation with more thought than before. You nodded your head in response, “I think she’ll love it. Do you think you could make one for me too? I can take you to see the real dragon in return.”

The thought of seeing Nidhug had Kaeya immediately nodding his head in agreement. He wanted to go now, but didn't dare push his luck. Frode was not too pleased with the idea of his son being around a beast, but if anyone could keep the dragon in line, it was Dainsleif, the captain of the Black Serpent Knights and your personal guard. 

“I wish to be a knight like you when I get older,” Kaeya absentmindedly told Dainsleif as the three of you walked the path to the sage's temple. 

He was stopping to pick up rocks and trying to catch butterflies as you went, forcing you and Dainsleif to stop walking long enough to drag his attention back to the task at hand. Both of you were patient, knowing he was young and easily distracted. 

“Is that so?” Dainsleif questioned him, slight amusement in his tone. “It will take a lot of training, bravery, and strength to become a knight.”

Kaeya nodded, already knowing this from the minute he was given the wooden sword that he had sheathed at his hip. He was determined, despite knowing how difficult it would be. He was too young to truly understand now, but he would be giving up the chance at an education, at learning what he would need to know in order to one day be a regent. The young one seemed to think he could do both, and no one had the heart to tell him that wasn't the case. 

There were days when you and Dainsleif would spend time at the Vaxandi library, going through books so he could learn to read better, or when you'd take him around the kingdom and explain the histories of the buildings that stood tall and proud for many millennia. Because his training as a knight took precedence over studies, Dainsleif was not as educated as other nobles. 

“I know,” he responded, proud of his decision. “One day I'll be strong enough to protect the princess too.”

He sounded so determined, like he would weather any storm to make his words ring true. Resilience and determination like that was needed for a knight, and as long as he kept that in mind, he could do it. He was already learning about conduct and forms from his master but had yet to train with even the wooden sword. 

Dainsleif could respect that, telling him he had complete faith in him as you all walked along the fields of mist. You could tell you were getting closer to the temple as the fog got thicker. Kaeya could barely see in front of him, reaching up to grab your hand before he could trip over rocks on the footpath. The way was lit, making it slightly easier to see as Dainsleif led the way. 

It didn't take long for the three of you to reach the temple, the sages outside allowing you to pass through without question. You didn't even greet them as you headed for the cave where Nidhug resided, knowing you wouldn't be able to mind your manners. You warned them this was going to happen, and they refused to listen to them. But, that was how it had always been. 

Kaeya let out a soft gasp when he saw the giant creature curled up on the ground. It was his first time seeing anything like it, and he almost couldn't believe his eyes. You frowned, approaching the beast slowly. 

You knelt down by his head, Kaeya letting go of your hand and taking several steps back when the dragon opened his bright green eyes and looked at you. Nidhug let out a sharp breath, closing his eyes again as you reached out to pet him. 

“Greyið,” you ran your hand over his dark scales, and he leaned into your touch. It was true. Nidhug was not well, his breathing was labored and he barely had the strength to move. “The beast’s last breath unbinds the old ways.”

Kaeya looked at Dainsleif, confused at your words. The knight simply shrugged in response. He was used to your way of speaking when it came to your sights. You were never direct, always vague or speaking in a sort of riddle. He figured you meant with Nidhug’s death, it would be the end of an era. Instead of giving Kaeya an answer, Dainsleif placed his hand on the small of his back and gently pushed him forward.

You turned, waving the boy forward. He apprehensively approached, crouching down next to you. He reached out as well, petting the creature as if it were a common house pet. His nose scrunched up at the texture felt against his fingertips– rough and uneven. 

A sigh left the dragon, at least you assumed that's what the change in his breath was. Silence fell over you as three of you spent the dragon’s last moments with him. Kaeya didn't understand what exactly was happening, but he didn't dare break the silence. He stayed in his spot, showing Nidhug the same amount of love that you were giving to him. 

When his labored breath came to a halt, a single tear trailed down your cheek. Nidhug was much more than a protector. He was a symbol of your nation’s separation from the Archons and Celestia. Now that he was gone there was no longer anything standing in their way. The Drekaöld had come to an end, the age of the dragon ending sooner than expected. The Black Serpent Knight's time was beginning, and something was telling you the strength of them combined was nothing in comparison to Khaenri'ah’s guardian.

Fire. Your hand furiously moved as you drew smoke and ash along the wall. Destruction. Despite being unable to make out clear details, the pit of unease that settled into your stomach told you that the ruins you were seeing were that of your nation. World… forget me. You paused, taking your free hand and wiping away the charcoal dust. You couldn't make sense of what you were seeing, what you were hearing. It didn't add up.

A land without sun. Khaenri'ah. The nation powered by the sólkerfi device, right? Wrong. Another land without natural light. But if not Khaenri'ah then where? Was there another nation who used an artificial sun? What did they have to do with anything? Was it war between us and them?

Field tillers. It was more clear now. Field tillers?…and the monsters that the Black Serpent Knights kept at bay, invading this other land. But, why? We have no qualms with anyone but Celestia. Taking on the gods seems unlikely, at least currently. What next? What happens next?

Death. Not in this strange land, but home.  They waged war? Or was it us? But what reason do we have? It’s unclear, fuzzy. Who died? Father? Brother? The knights who vowed to protect us in times like this? Death. Death of who, of what, of where? Khaenri'ah, right? … No answer? Tell me what happens. 

Khemia. Poison. Khemia? What is that? Unsafe. Gold. Make it make sense. Connect the pieces. None of them fit. It's made an even bigger puzzle. Why are you doing this? No time? Me or you? It doesn't matter. I’m afraid I don't understand. Don't tell me to be quiet. 

Blood. Below and above the surface. No, no, this isn't right. Speak clearly. What do you want to say? It's never this blurry, it's always so clear. It doesn't make sense. Did I do something wrong? I didn't mean to upset– what? Not my fault. Of course it's not my fault, you're the one confusing me. 

Sky Nail. Celestia awakens. The Archon War? Is it still ongoing? Why is that our concern? It's not. We have nothing to do with it. Do we? We don't. But why did they wake up? No time. I understand that.

Archon. Wrath. Arrogate. This is too much. Stop, stop, stop. What are we laying claim to? Why are the Archons mad? Because we don't worship them? Why do they care? They've cared about nobody but themselves for thousands of years. Yes, I agree, you should be angry with them too. Seems the legends are true. 

Gold. Poison. Downfall. It's out of order. Why is it out of order? Are you telling me you're dying? You were poisoned? No, we wouldn't let that happen. We can't let that happen. We won't let that happen. We can eclipse Celestia, but you will always shine bright. Shine bright. An Archon who protects you… interesting. I–

World… forget me. Out of time. 

“I thought I’d find you here,” A voice cut through the sound of erratic breathing and chalk dragging against stone. But the words fell on deaf ears, you were much too lost in your own head. You were frantic, running the chalk down into loose grit, desperately searching for another. 

The newcomer held one out for you, watching as you worked along the wall with nothing but a flickering lantern as your light source. Just like always, he silently watched until a sharp breath passed your lips and the chalk clattered against the floor. You stood there, mumbling nonsense under your breath. He couldn't make out a word you were saying, but he could see your mouth moving. 

“This…” you trailed off, absentmindedly wiping the black powder off on your nightgown. “This is bad. Not good.”

He approached you, lightly placing a hand on your shoulder. You jumped, not realizing he was there. Your heart was racing, much like your mind as you tried to piece together the broken puzzle. 

“Dainsleif,” You exhaled slowly, trying to calm yourself down. “What are you doing here? It's late.”

A light chuckle left him, his blue eyes shining with amusement, “I could ask you the same thing, elska. Walking around without a guard? What would your father say?”

He could always find you here, especially after the day you had with losing Nidhug. He had a feeling you'd be getting your next sight soon, although he didn't realize it would be this close to the one that was just fulfilled. 

You rolled your eyes, “As if he’d ever know. He’s much too busy discussing matters with the sages and preparing Finn to take the throne to give me one ounce of his attention. Plus, these are royal grounds. No one would ever be foolish enough to make an attempt on my life here. Now, don't evade the question.”

“Well then what of Frode, what if you were hurt on the way?” he prodded, earning a flat look from you. He sighed in defeat, “Alright, fine. If you insist on knowing, I came here purely on instinct. From the looks of it, you should've called on me before coming here alone.”

He glanced to the wall, which had been drawn on for years. This was the biggest piece you'd ever done, and what the picture held was concerning. He'd never seen such darkness and violence depicted in one of your drawings. He felt uncomfortable looking at it for too long. 

“I haven't made complete sense of it,” you admitted, following his gaze. “It was all choppy, blurry. Barely comprehensible.”

He frowned, focusing his attention back on you, “You need to rest. You can figure it out tomorrow.”

But, sleep would never come. After Dainsleif escorted you back to the palace and bid you goodnight, the only thing you could do was toss and turn. The images you saw earlier plagued your mind, concerning you to the point where you couldn't close your eyes without seeing the jumbled mess of all of it. 

By the time the moon’s position went from miðnætti to åtta– midnight to eight– you hadn't slept a wink. Instead of waiting for your handmaiden to help you get dressed, you got ready for the day by yourself and made your way to the Höggomur Quarters where Dainsleif resided. 

You knew he'd give you an earful for not waiting, and for storming into the Black Serpent Knights wing as if you did it all the time. People would talk, and Halfdan would never let either of you hear the end of it. 

Halfdan swore he was a romantic, and that he was perceptive when people had feelings for one another. But whatever he thought about you and Dainsleif, he could forget it. Even if Dainsleif did reciprocate your feelings, you were a princess and he was your guard. The sages would never approve of such a relationship, let alone your father. Halfdan thought the two of you were imbeciles– blind to how you felt about each other– and he couldn't fix stupid. However, he could push and prod. 

Which is exactly what he went to do as soon as he saw you in the halls. But, you were dead set on finding Dainsleif as soon as possible. You'd been up all night, your mind running in circles as you tried to make sense of it all. 

“Do not start,” you warned him, holding up a finger. “Where is he?”

Halfdan, who had a ghost of a cheeky smirk on his lips, gave you an amused chuckle in response, “He’s just now getting ready. Someone kept him up all night.”

Your mouth parted in shock, offended at what he was insinuating even though you both knew it wasn't true, “You mind your tongue, Sir Halfdan. Tell him to not keep me waiting or I will leave without him.”

“You think so poorly of me,” the man in question approached you, a small hint of a smile shining through his feigned annoyance. “Did you even get any rest?”

You pursed your lips before you evaded the question, “We need to get going.”

The slightly unamused look in his eye turned into one of irritation. Your disregard for your own self care was the bane of his existence, especially when you had yet to make sense of one of your sights. You were stubborn, you always had been. Once you set your mind to something, there was no changing it. It was something he both appreciated and hated about you. 

With a facetious smile in his direction, you walked towards the exit of the headquarters. He was quick to follow, falling into step with you in no time. There was a comfortable silence that fell between you, the walk to Yggdrasil’s location taking less time than you thought. 

As the two of you drew closer, an anxious pit set in your stomach. It grew with each step, the looming feeling of something dreadful pressing into your shoulders. It was almost as if he could tell, because the moment it almost became unbearable, he turned to look at you.

“The inteyvat fields will be ready soon,” he informed you, a light smile painting his lips. “I believe I promised to take you.”

Despite yourself and the turmoil you were fighting, you let out a small laugh, “I believe that you do, every year if I recall correctly.”

He remembered when he first became your guard. He was fresh out of training, eager to do his duty. As bright as a star– if not as bright as the moon. It was also the first time he'd seen you cry. That day had been sour from the minute you woke, aware that not only was it the day of your birth, it was the day of your mother's death. As a new life breathed air under the Yggdrasil tree, another was lost. 

Even though you wished to be alone, he disregarded your words and refused to leave until you stopped crying. He had the idea to get your mind off things, a simple stroll that led you the furthest out of the kingdom that you had ever been. A place that your former guard refused to let you go. The Inteyvat fields in the heart of Pilos Path. He promised to bring you every year as a reminder that even though a flower had been plucked from the ground, it remained intact. Much like the memory of a soul who has departed from the world of the living will never be forgotten as long as there were those who remembered. 

Every year you visited since, you often thought about entering Pilos Peak and seeing what was on the other side. Would it be everything you ever dreamed? Would the sun emit real warmth? Were the stars as bright as the stories told?

Neither one of you had seen real stars before. Because deep under the ground of Jarðríki– Teyvat– and between that of Óþekkturíki– Inteyvat– was a kingdom with a bare sky. No real stars, or a real sun. Just a real moon. 

While above the surface offered another beautiful light moon and thousands of stars, according to the legends, it was all believed to be fake. You may never feel the warmth of the Teyvat's sun or the chill of the night, but you could always dream. You once told Dainsleif this dream. Whether it was to see the world above the surface, or the real moon below, you wanted to see the world. Khaenri'ah just so happened to lie perfectly between both Teyvat and Inteyvat.

While there was no direct path to Teyvat, there was a portion of Khaenri'ah that did not belong to the world. It leads further down, into a world that your people dared not explore. At least, not yet. Alchemists and researchers were working on perfecting their machines to make headway, and only the best of adventures and the royal guard would be sent in. Meaning one day you would have to say goodbye to Dainsleif, as he was the Rökkrinu Sverð– the Twilight Sword– the captain of the Black Serpent Knights.

Not knowing if you would ever see the man you considered your closest companion again one day also filled you with dread. But all the hard work he's done, all the time and effort he put in would be paying off, and you knew that you'd never be more proud of anyone when the time came. That was your reasoning for continuing your birthday tradition once you had stopped hating it– you never knew which birthday would be Dainsleif's last to spend with you. 

Now, as the two of you came to a stop in front of the Yggdrasil tree, you wondered if that time was nigh. Your eyes scanned the markings you had left behind last night, seeing them more clearly under the moon’s light. 

You thought there were pieces to a puzzle that wouldn't fit no matter how hard you tried. But, looking at it now, you could see where all the pieces lied. Your mind was no longer buzzing with confusion and was clear of the fog a sight always left you in, and it was much easier to work out the order of everything. 

A stranger, someone new to the land who would bring a power that would not only cause war between Khaenri'ah and another nation, it would also lead to Khaenri'ah's downfall. Celestia would once again awaken, once again wipe out your people to keep you all silent. Afterall, the best way to keep a secret was to make sure the other party could never tell it. History would repeat, and your nation– your people– would be lost.

You swallowed thickly, turning to Dainsleif, “I must speak to Master Frode.”

“What is it?” He questioned, not missing the terrified look in your eye despite how well you tried to cover it. You could've fooled anyone else, but not him. “What did you see?”

Tears stung the back of your eyes as you forced yourself to look up at him. Concern was written in his expression, wildly searching your eyes for an answer that you were hesitant to give. You could never be clear with your answers. Not that you didn't want to, but you weren't physically capable of doing so. You had to pick all of your words wisely, and the words you chose as you grabbed his hand filled him with dread.

“Promise me,” your mouth ran dry as you choked back the tears threatening to spill over. “Dainsleif… promise me that you will hold my hand as the walls come tumbling down.” 

TAGS: @dottores @dxlucs @mxnjiros @niicevibe @myalbedo @alucrds @thetempleofnyx @saoiirsee @wherethebloodrosesbloom @stygianoir @wolfrynx @fatmight

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⋆𐙚₊ 𝐚 ‘𝔀𝓮’ 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐚𝐧 ‘𝓾𝓼’ ˚⊹♡

downbad!enhypen hyung line x fem!reader content(s): fluff, enhypen being down so horribly, terribly, bad, like whipped whipped for (y/n), (y/n) is sassy and loves to tease, pet names, one profanity, alcohol type: oneshot

˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚ synopsis: in which (y/n) doesn’t call them her boyfriend because they haven’t officially asked her to embark on an official courtship˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚

⋆˙𐙚 L.HEESEUNG 𐙚˙⋆ “…you’re gonna be the death of me!”

“don’t you think this would look good on us?” heeseung asks as he lifts up a pair of couple-y beanies and looks at (y/n) expectantly.

(y/n) shifts her gaze between the two before she brings it down. “don’t they look too couple-y?”

“yeah, i mean that’s the point, righ—wait, what do you mean ‘too couple-y?’” the realization hits him late and (y/n)’s already walking out the store, bells hung on the door chiming behind her.

heeseung hastily puts back the beanies, panicky, before he runs out to follow her. “(y/n)! (y/n), wait! what do you mean by that?”

“by what?” the girl monotonously responds.

“there’s nothing wrong with wearing matching stuff, right? aren’t we a couple? or do you not like it?” heeseung worriedly bombards her with questions as he sticks behind her like a tail—almost stumbling entirely when she stops abruptly.

“we aren’t, though.”

“huh?”

“we aren’t a couple,” (y/n) corrects him and his eyes widen as lips gape—frantically moving to stand in front of her when she budges in the slightest.

“are you breaking up with me? please, (y/n). i-i don’t know what it is but i’ll make it up to you! please not like this, no. i don’t want to lose you,” heeseung pleads as his hands shakily grab her shoulders—much too soft to actually say he even put force but the way his fingers curl, securing onto her show that he’s more than ready to latch on for his life. “tell me. tell me what i did wrong.”

(y/n) stares at his face, the desperation and concern paint him so clearly and a guilty sigh leaves her. “we can’t break up if we weren’t together in the first place.”

now confusion settles over him. his brows knitting and doe eyes searching into hers. “what do you—oh.”

and finally putting the pieces together, a loud laugh escapes him while his not-girlfriend frowns, a small pout playing on her lips.

he coos while his thumb brushes over them. “aww, is that what this was all about?”

“heeseung, you—”

“(y/n),” he interjects with his voice laced with so much charm she just can’t refute. an endearing smirk threatens to appear on his face as he cups her cheek—looking down at her with the most tender and sincere gaze. “will you let me be your boyfriend? please?”

the air’s knocked out of the other at his soft little voice that instantly extinguishes any sort of fire in her as she instead, melts into his arms that magically made their way around her waist.

she clears her throat. “yeah, i guess. yeah.”

he finally lets the smirk form as he swoops down and pecks her forehead, eliciting a gasp of surprise from her and he chuckles at her expression. “now let’s get those couple-y beanies to celebrate our official first day as a couple, hm?”

“…yeah,” the girl bashfully replies with cheeks tinted in a shade of pink.

heeseung’s chest tightens at how cute she is to the point it’s hard to breathe and he squeezes her against him—pressing her face into his chest as he resists the urge to just gnaw at her head. “you’re just so—gosh, you’re gonna be the death of me!”

“hee, my makeup!”

the way his nickname rolls from her tongue so casually is music to his ears and he bites his lip, shutting his eyes as his head falls back. “i’m the luckiest person ever to have you as my girlfriend.”

⋆˙𐙚 P.JONGSEONG 𐙚˙⋆ “silver or gold?”

there’s something off. he can’t quite put his finger on it—but there’s something terribly wrong. and it’s not just because of his and (y/n)’s cuddle sessions with her hugs too short to even be called cuddles, or the lack of kisses from her and hesitant acceptance of his or even the way she sometimes cringes at the pet names he uses on her.

but also because of the way she treats him in general. she’s still affectionate—greeting him with the biggest, most beautiful smile, going out for lunch dates with him and paying for his order because “last time you paid for everything” which, in his perspective is mortifying because why?? would she?? do such a thing??

it’s his responsibility—or so he claims—to spoil her as much as possible. he wants to be the one to feed her, buy her all her silly little trinkets and take her out on shopping sprees and carrying all her bags so why?? it breaks him to see her act the way she is.

but at the end of the day, it’s still affectionate, isn’t it? as much as he can’t comprehend it, he sees it as his girlfriend wanting to treat him every once in a while to show appreciation or something—a self-hypnosis, one might say so he doesn’t fall into hysteria.

despite his suspicions however, he says nothing and lets things flow as he takes the opportunity to observe her more, in hopes he can at least make a small conclusion so he won’t upset her by asking the wrong thing.

and today’s the perfect time for it since they’re having another one of their lunch dates. he sits anxiously at their table as he watches (y/n) who’s still at the counter—having bumped with her friend and now she’s accompanying her as she orders.

“is that all you’re having?” (y/n) asks her friend who nods and right after, the former passes the cashier her card—surprising her friend to which she assures her it’s all fine. “no, i insist! after all, last time you paid for everything.”

jay who has been a loyal, attentive audience this whole time instantly feels himself being washed over with dread. small lips parting and hand resting on the left side of his chest as it dawns on him.

all this time…(y/n)’s been treating him like a friend. not a lover. it all makes sense now. the distance she put between them and the affections shown that are always in border between friend and lover but never more to the latter—he sees it now.

“jay? what’s going on?” (y/n) asks from her seat facing him. “you’re zoning out. hello?”

he just had a short circuit and her saying “jay” so simply is only rusting his gears from overtime working.

“‘jay?’”’he echoes with a small frown on his face. “why jay?”

his question baffled her and she emits a small confused yet amused scoff.

“that’s your name? what else am i supposed to call you?”

“baby, bae, darling, honey—” he starts listing out loving pet names and making her gape at his eloquence. she’s not sure if being so knowledgeable in this subject is really useful at all but it’s impressive. “there are so many you can use! just not just my name as it is. we’re not friends…right?”

ding ding ding! finally, the man gets it and (y/n) lets a mischievous smirk play on her lips.

“i’m pretty sure we are, though,” she teases and her date’s jaw detaches, crashing to the floor along with his heart in shards. she giggles and the sound itself revives him, now looking at her with eyes wide and lips pressed expectantly. “i mean, i don’t recall being asked to be someone’s partner so…”

an audible gasp leaves him before he reaches out to hold her hands in his on the table. “my love, i should’ve known. i shouldn’t have left things be unclear between us. so, silver or gold?”

his question confuses her. “huh?”

“for our couple rings. i’m using it to propose to you to be my girlfriend later. so, silver or gold? actually, diamonds will be best, right? you only deserve the best.”

“wait, slow down—”

“how many carats?”

“jay!”

“‘jay???’”

“…sweetie? babe??”

“so much better <3”

⋆˙𐙚 S.JAEYUN 𐙚˙⋆ “i can even be your doormat!”

it’s not a secret that sim jaeyun is sometimes the embodiment of a human puppy. so it’s not surprising to see him literally following (y/n) around like tail—even before they professed their love for one another.

the only difference now is that he’s much braver in initiating skinship to show his affections like fixing her hair, or cupping her cheeks, drawing circles on whatever part it is that he’s touching on her and even cuddling with her to the point that he’s practically sandwiching her onto the couch with his buried in the crook of her neck.

but he notices something: it’s always been one-sided. and that’s weird. because as far as he knows, one of (y/n)’s love languages is physical touch. but it’s not like she rejects any of his advances, she accepts them all. maybe she’s just not very keen on starting it, but is always up for it.

so he lets it be.

until at one point, it starts to bug him and eat him from the inside out, leaving him shriveled like a wilted flower lacking every single form of nutrient and water—and all the sun’s doing is just drying up every bit of moisture and drawing the life out of him.

“(y/n)…” jake croaks weakly as he crawls onto his phone that he previously threw onto his couch, now only a sliver of the man he once was with his cheeks hollow and lips chapped as his sickness riddles him. a terrible sickness caused by (y/n) deficiency.

the other end of the call rings a few times before the voice of his beloved sings through, instantly energizing him. “hello? jake?”

“(Y/N), I NEED YOUuUuUu~” he howls and (y/n) has to pull her phone away from her ear. “i’m SICK.”

concern fills her quickly after. “sick?? what happened? do you have a fever?”

she’s bombarding him with questions as she hastily puts on her shoes near her main door, ready to leave right after. the pitiful sob from him that follows after only heightens her worry.

“i’m sick…of missing you,” he finishes and (y/n) nearly trips over air just as she’s about to step to the door. “please come over and cuddle…please…?”

his desperate whimpers are just so adorable that it nearly shatters her resolve of playing hard-to-get. nearly.

squinting her eyes and crossing one arm under chest and hooking it to the other that holds her phone to her ear, she then hums questioningly. and gosh, does jake feel like every second is another hour taken from his life span.

“no.”

nevermind. he’s dead now.

“wh-what? what do you mean ‘no?’”

huzzah! he’s been resuscitated. he wants justice.

(y/n) captures her lip between her teeth—holding back her amused chuckles at his cute confusion. “that sounds like a very boyfriend-girlfriend activity, jake. and we’re not boyfriend and girlfriend…”

beep! beep! beep!

he…hung up??

(y/n) gapes and calls him.

“the number you’ve dialed is unreachable…” the automatic machine answers.

again.

“please leave a message after the beep!…”

again.

still no answer.

worry creeps in again as (y/n) slips in her foot back into her shoe which she took off mere minutes ago. just when she stands however, a persistent ringing of her door bell freezes her momentarily.

swinging the barrier between her and the source open, she’s met with surprise to see sim jaeyun, the man himself, down on his knees as he looks up at her with doe eyes glossed over.

“jake! wha—”

“we’re not boyfriend and girlfriend? what did i do? tell me, i’ll fix it!”

“you didn’t do anything!”

“i didn’t? the-then, why?”

(y/n) opens her mouth to answer when she suddenly realizes that him not doing anything is exactly the problem—and her momentary hesitation is enough to have him clasping his hands together in desperation.

“please please please, don’t throw me away! i love you so much, i won’t be able to live without you! please please, pretty princess? PLEASE!”

the girl’s eyes widen at his sudden pleads and she anxiously looks at the other doors in the corridor, hoping her apartment neighbors will disregard the chaos occurring. “jake! jake, stand up! stop doing this!”

“NO! you’re mad at me! i don’t know why but…still! is it because i’m too clingy? because i asked you to come over? sh!t! i should’ve been the one to come over not you! i’ll be better, i promise!”

“what?? no! there’s nothing wrong with that just listen to me and get—”

“NOOOO!! i’m not getting away! i’m not leaving! just keep me by your side! i’ll do anything! i-i can even be your doormat—here! right here!”

the sound of a rattling doorknob triggers (y/n)’s fight or flight and she seizes jake’s wrist that’s conveniently raised—thanks to his howls and pleads of “you said you love me!” and “love me backkkk~” respectively—and she hauls him into her apartment.

jaeyun’s eyes widen at the abrupt motion and he stumbles onto the floor of her house but before he can say anything, a pair of soft lips smash against his—ridding him of every thought as his hands instinctively reach up to cup her cheek and nape.

he limps backwards, now completely against the floor while (y/n) hovers and his vision darkens as his eyes shut—reveling in the addicting sweetness of her taste.

a small whine sounds from him when she pulls away and he chases after her lips—wanting nothing more but to relish in her essence endlessly yet her hand that gently pushes him down by the chest halts him.

she giggles at his dazed expression—his breaths shaky, eyes blown out and half-lidded as he peers up at her. “i do love you, jakey. i just said we weren’t a couple because you haven’t asked me out yet.”

“i haven’t?” he slurs like a drunken man, still on cloud nine from her kiss and his gaze casts frequent glances onto her glistening, rosy nubs. “must have been in my dream then.”

“yeah, must be,” (y/n) chuckles and sits on his lap before hauling him up—instantly getting engulfed in an embrace with his arms coiled around her waist and nose buried in the crook of her neck. feeling ticklish, the girl elicits a few titters which makes him smile against her skin.

“i can’t believe i let my princess feel so frustrated for so long,” he muffles into her. “but don’t worry, i’ll ask you now.”

“i’m all ears.”

“will you marry me?”

“HUH??”

⋆˙𐙚 P.SUNGHOON 𐙚˙⋆ "love me, please"

sunghoon is more emotional of a person than how he seems. he just hides himself well and even when others try their best to push him to the edge, he will never lose his grip on his thread nor walk the plank—able to pull himself up and return to the safe shores.

of course, he’s still human and thus, will never be completely impenetrable. one common weakness among those with strict discipline? alcohol.

“i don’t know why…she doesn’t love me,” sunghoon sobs into his arms as he’s hunched onto the counter and almost slipping off his stool. jake looks down at him before a sigh escapes. he was amused seeing his usually stoic and smiley friend act so sappy at first—but that was 3 days ago and he’s still being it since.

jake pats the other’s pack. “why don’t you ask her? i thought you guys confirmed your feelings for each other?”

sunghoon nods against his arm as a low groan rumbles through him. “we did…but then i overheard her saying to her friends that we ‘aren’t together’ and are just ‘two people who share mutual affections.’”

“maybe you misheard?”

a wail akin to a whale’s call sounds from the drunken lad and jake looks around frantically, embarrassed, and is for once thankful for the blaring DJ remixes that burst people’s ears.

“i didn’t. i heard clearly what she said, that’s why i ran away… i left her there… i screwed up our lunch plans… she’s gonna hate me more! it’s my fault! why did i just—WAAaaAaA!”

once again, his friend finds himself in a fluster, scared that someone’s going to think that a marine creature’s been illegally smuggled into the establishment—causing him to haul the taller lad onto his shoulders and out of the place of business.

“there you go. stay,” jake huffs as he laboriously drops his friend onto the bench outside before pulling out his phone. dialing a number, he then puts the gadget to his ear. “hello? sorry for calling you so suddenly but uh, sunghoon’s kind of in a situation i know you’re the only who can save him from. oh, no! it’s not anything dangerous! it’s just, well…”

after hearing his explanation, it doesn’t take long for the girl to zoom to the club and there, she meets a passed out sunghoon on a cold wooden bench and jake sitting on the edge of his seat—not having enough space due to the drunkard.

“hey, thanks for coming,” the slightly older male says with a smile and nods with gratitude at her. she reciprocates.

“so…you say he’s been doing this for 3 days straight—since he overheard me?” (y/n) confirms and jake’s affirmation elicits a long sigh from her. “dummy hoon. thanks for accompanying him, jake. i’ll take over from here.”

bidding goodbye, (y/n) then approaches the sleeping young man. her heart flutters at his delicate yet sharp visages that simply steal her breath away even when he’s doing something utterly mundane such as sleeping. her hand lifts to cup his cheek, flinching at the coldness of his skin. “sunghoon, wake up. hoon?”

she nearly has a cardiac arrest when the man’s eyelids shoot open and he springs to a sitting position before facing the blanched girl.

“(y/n)!” he exclaims cheerily with the most radiant beam before engulfing her whole against his figure—muscly biceps securing around her frame as she squeaks from the sudden embrace. she chuckles, adoring how he’s still able to be so gentle with her even whilst drunk. “hi, my love~”

the nickname brings a blush to her face that’s already mantling from the cold. “come on, let’s get you to the car.”

as soon as he’s in the passenger’s seat, (y/n) bends down slightly in front of him to secure his seatbelt but pauses when sunghoon’s head drops onto her shoulder—rubbing his forehead against the fabric covering her skin.

“(y/n)…you’re so warm,” he murmurs, eyes shut and lips parted. “if only you were really here.”

his words make the girl’s brows knit. ‘does he think he’s imagining me?’

click! the seatbelt connects and she shuts his door before going to the driver’s seat.

the drive is mostly quiet with sunghoon being drowsy and (y/n) busy with trying to get him home safely but the tranquility is broken by an unexpected monologue by the former.

“i do this again and again just to see you… and you’re always there. but i wake up and you’re gone…always gone,” sunghoon murmurs in his sleepiness, and (y/n)’s fingers tighten around the wheel at his confession—feeling her heartstrings getting tugged. “i love you so much, it hurts.”

(y/n) glances at him, feeling a surge of guilt and swallows dryly. “if the real (y/n) was here, what would you tell her?”

“i’d apologize for canceling our lunch date again. and tHeN! i’d apologize again and tell her i’ll do wAyYyYY better! i’ll be the BEST MAN she’ll ever have!” sunghoon exclaims in an inconsistent rhythm—bursting on some words and calm for the others. “the LAST one too! she’s going to end up with me, i’ll make sure of it.”

his drunken confession affects her more than she thought—butterflies erupting and tickling her from the inside out with their soft, rapid wings.

“oh, really?” she teases, an amused grin worn as she faces the road which isn’t unseen by sunghoon.

his sudden quietness confuses her but soon feels his scrutinizing gaze prickling at the side of her cheek—her peeking at him from her peripheral.

“woah. you’re the best version of (y/n) my brain’s made. you feel and look real…so warm and pretty like how my (y/n) really is… my gorgeous, gorgeous girl… hihihi…” his lovesick bashful giggles from his own comment instantly beats all her favourite music and artists, defeating all her playlists and reigns the throne.

his eyes upturned in a blinding eyesmile as cheeks and nose glow a bright red from both the alcohol and the lovey dovey, giggly mood he’s brought to himself. he’s so cute. a cutie pie.

by the time they arrive at his home, he’s onto his reason number whoever knows on his list of ‘why my-not-but-still-my-girl aka.(y/n) is the best girl.’

he flops on his bed when (y/n) drops him with a large grunt before joining his side in exhaustion. big mistake.

because now she’s caged within sunghoon’s beefy arms and as much as she loves nothing more than to stay in them—suffocate in them even, but he’d never let—she has to go home.

“sung—oof! sunghoon!” she grunts and wriggles in his unbudging grasp and just when she tries to slip through by sliding down vertically and off the edge of the bed, he nuzzles into the side of her head—drawing figures in her hair with the tip of his nose.

“love me, please,” he whispers and that instantly shuts down her motor—now completely still as she slowly turns to him. her eyes dance across his face that’s slightly scrunched and she can tell it’s because of what he overheard her say. he’s thinking about it again.

“i do love you, hoon—so so much that it physically squeezes the air out of me sometimes. i only said what i said because i realized we never made it official and whenever i hinted at you, you just acted like it was nothing. just going with it without accepting or denying anything,” (y/n) explains in a whisper as her finger moves up to trace his features.

freezing suddenly when she reaches his mouth and the corners begin to curl up.

“so i just need to make things official and we won’t just be ‘two people who share mutual feelings together?’” he asks with clarity. the lack of muddled mumbles and dragged words instantly tell the other of his sobriety.

she looks up, taken aback to see him already staring down at her with the most endearing of gazes—shifting between her eyes constantly before letting it dance across her face and back to melting their gazes together.

“i guess so…” she mutters, flustered and belatedly shy from the proximity.

sunghoon catches his bottom lip between his teeth, finding the sight before him simply too adorable and presses a kiss on her forehead. “then, just as i am already yours, will you be mine?”

his concise offer makes her heart skip beats but it still doesn’t compare to hoon’s that’s running a mile a minute, vigorous thumps almost blending into one another and she feels it from the way he hugs her tight.

so much for mr.cool guy act.

“it would be my honour, hoon,” she replies with a cheeky grin and a second later she’s squealing from getting bombarded with butterfly kisses—unknowing of his struggle to keep himself together and not just crush her every bone from the cuteness aggression, finding her to be the loveliest ever.

ᡣ𐭩ྀི₊ ⊹ masterlist ᝰ.ᐟ✮⋆˙

𝜗𝜚 hi, it’s romi here!! thank you so much for reading to the end!! if you enjoyed it, don’t forget to leave a heart and reblog—they give me some motivation, ya know? but please do not spam like!! X♡X♡, romi ⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

copyright © 2024 thinemoonshine all rights reserved

my name. | nishimura riki

PAIRING ▸ nishimura riki! x reader

GENRE ▸ detective! au, fantasy! au, high school! au, s2ls, romance, fluff, angst, humor, SLOW BURN

WC ▸ 15.6k

SUMMARY ▸ you supposedly get transported to a different world, where you encounter niki. apparently, you already existed here. note: past tense. so now you’re stuck in an alternate universe and technically, you’re supposed to be dead. 

AKA after facing the truth, you come to the realization that someone was definitely trying to kill you.

AN/NOTES ▸ mentions of death!!!, a murder mystery/whodunit, profanity, mentions of suicide, depictions of murder, a few curse words, violence, blood, dead bodies, some gorey stuff, kissing, nothing too harsh, excuse any typos/misspellings...

wow... i can't believe it but it is finally out... it's been a long time coming lol. with losing several family members and hospital visits over the past year, i wasn't sure if this was ever going to get released. thank you all for your endless (fr) patience and support. happy reading ❤️

a faceless figure stretches out a hand towards you.

you squint but for some reason, you still can’t make them out. the longer you stare, the more you realize it was a person—a blurry vision of a faceless boy. considering the matching uniform to yours, he must’ve gone to your school …was he your classmate? 

you frown. you’ve never seen anyone like him in class before. you stretch out your arm, fingertips barely grazing his- 

the sound of the school bell ringing causes your eyelids to fly open.  you groan, yawning and getting up from your seat by the window by default. 

it wasn’t a nice nap—just one that left you feeling groggy, unsettled, and strangely incomplete. 

you pack up your stuff quietly and leave the classroom alone, not bothering to look for your friends. as you walk down the stairs, you hear your classmates chattering about the weather.you glance outside. 

it was a dreary, unwelcoming kind of rain—part of the reason why you fell asleep earlier in class—and you suddenly feel the urge to get home. as soon as possible. 

you weren’t sure why, but it wasn’t just raining. it started to pour, especially hard, on this spring day. you want to think that was what made your mood all miserable and forlorn. 

not to forget the fact that you didn’t have an umbrella, leaving you no other choice but to throw your hood on and tighten the strings of your hoodie over your school uniform. not exactly the most stylish look, yet it was comfortable enough for you. 

you couldn’t put a finger on the emotion, but you felt out of place, like for some weird reason… you didn’t belong here. like you belonged out of this circle, away from this life and world. 

that feeling always came up when it started to rain, and you always tried your best to suppress it. but it was particularly strong today. 

you shrugged it off though. those “phases” weren’t uncommon, right? 

though you made it halfway out the school grounds by yourself, hyein and hanni catch up to you as you walk. you give them a half-hearted smile, “hey.”

it doesn’t take much for them to notice your off behavior. hyein eyes you. 

“you okay, y/n?” 

you debate internally, reminding yourself that they’re your friends. you can trust them, rely on them. you’re allowed to do that. even more so, aren’t you supposed to do that? 

but the words that come out of your mouth suggest otherwise. you shrug, “it’s nothing. it’s just been a weird day, you know?”

they share a glance before turning back to you, sympathetic smiles on their faces. hanni pats you on the shoulder, “yeah, we get it. you should get some rest at home, y/n. we’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

“be careful on the way back! the rain doesn’t look like it’s stopping soon.” she calls out before they continue, leaving you behind—still as soaked as ever. 

you wave before sighing, gripping the straps of your backpack tighter and making your way towards the train station. the sound of the rain almost makes you fall into a daze as you go about your way. all your school stuff and clothes were definitely getting soaked, which probably meant an oncoming cold, but you could’ve cared less. 

the only thing that mattered was going home and sleeping off this weird feeling, so it could become tomorrow and you didn’t have to be in this situation anymore. 

the train station is strangely busy, you figure the downpour was making everyone go home sooner. you bypass several people, almost getting your soaked and stained shoes stepped on several times. all while muttering quiet “excuse me’s” to practically everyone and anyone who cared to listen. 

after what seemed like ages, you manage to make it to your train.  although, the large crowd surrounding the entrance effectively prevents you from getting anywhere. 

you mutter a curse, trying to navigate through the waves of people. you just barely get on before the doors begin closing. letting out a huff in relief, you lean back against the door and slowing yourself a moment to close your eyes in peace. all the seats were obviously taken at that point, so you had no choice but to stand. that’s fine—you end up drifting off anyway. 

you don’t know how long it’s been since you fell asleep. or why you feel even more exhausted when you wake up. but the robotic voice announcing your arrival makes your eyes automatically flutter open. you feel your body getting pushed and shoved around as everyone tries to get out all at once. 

so you grit your teeth and tug down your hood further until you can finally get out. you don’t pay much attention to your surroundings, too focused on not getting knocked to the ground. when you finally stumble out of the crowd onto the station platform, you try to collect yourself while shaking your head. then you frown, 

wait a second-

something solid knocks into you from the side, a rough oof! escaping out of their--mouth?

you’re knocked onto the ground, bottom first. pain shoots into your palms that tried (and failed) to catch your fall—and obviously, your butt as well. 

you groan, eyes flashing in annoyance at your unknown assailant. looking up, you stop at the sight of the… boy in front of you. 

you really have no idea why, but a question immediately pops into your head—

have you met before?

you don’t voice it, but it lingers in the back of your mind. the boy—as far as you can tell, he looks around your age— simply stares at you. he’s in a strikingly similar uniform. 

a flicker of recognition passes in his eyes before you watch his expression grow flabbergasted. he continues to stare at you for a solid minute, while you only stare back in confusion, still on the floor.

“it’s rude to stare, you know.” you finally state with a furrowed brow as you quickly gathering your bearings. 

his only response is a blink.  

it's like the two of you are frozen in time, everyone else getting drowned out in the moment. 

you frown, narrowing your eyes at him. “hello? did you hear me?” you repeat yourself and this time he snaps out of it. 

“y-you’re not supposed to be here.” he gets out shakily, looking around while his hand runs through his dark locks in distress. you cross your arms, “what do you mean? this is my stop…” 

you falter when you remember what you saw earlier. when you got off the train, you took a quick glance at the signs and posts. yeah, this definitely wasn’t your stop. 

that wouldn’t have been a huge issue- if it wasn’t for the fact that you never missed your station, no matter the circumstances.  

“no!” he exclaims and you flinch at the outburst. the boy glances at you again, and this time you involuntarily shiver at the unreadable look in his eyes. 

“you’re…. you’re supposed to be dead.”

your mouth drops open. 

“what a great first thing to say to someone you just bowled over. not even a sorry..” you mutter off, suddenly finding the strength to get up and wipe your hands. 

the boy takes a step back away from you. curiously, you take one forward, towards him. he gestures a hand at you almost aggressively. 

“you’re dead. you died. i swear-“

you hold out your hands in half desperation and half exasperation, “i dunno if this is some dumb prank or something i missed, but i hate to break it to you. i’m not dead. i’m literally right here in front of you. i think i would know if i died or not. i’m-” 

again, that feeling of being out of place washes over you. this time it steals your breath away. 

the strange boy shakes his head. “there’s no way. i know exactly who you look like.”

his next words make your blood run cold. 

“you’re exactly like y/n y/l/n—who died a week ago.” he looks you up and down again, hands curling into fists. 

“who are you? and why do you look just-?”

“because that’s who i am? my name is y/n! now, if you would excuse me.”  

you hold up a hand, you didn’t have the time or patience to deal with weirdos on the street. it did struck a little odd that he knew your name, but then again he must’ve gone to your school and heard of you somewhere. the only thing that unsettled you was his reaction. 

it just seemed too real, like he couldn’t have been that good at acting. 

he grabs your arm to prevent you from leaving. all he does is shake his head again like he’s just trying to reassure himself. you’re about to protest, so utterly confused at what’s happening-how you missed your stop and why this strange boy is saying that you’re dead. none of it makes sense. 

his face looks pale and grim, and you’re sure yours look exactly the same. “you can’t be y/n. and yet, here you are right in front of me.” 

“i will scream like a little girl for help if you don’t let me go at this-“

“p-please. this isn’t a joke. you can’t be here. we need to get out of here—where everyone can’t see you.” 

before you can even splutter a response, he drags you off. 

you can call me niki, his words echo in your head. 

his name rolls off your tongue unfamiliarly. in his states of panic—to which niki kept slapping himself and you kept denying that you were a hallucination—

you ended up introducing yourselves and deciding to find a better place to discuss. more like, niki decided. you soon began to regret that decision. 

all you wanted to do was go home, but this persistent kid you’ve never seen before wouldn’t let you or your conscience go. maybe it was the weird feeling from earlier, but you have the urge to at least hear him out. but when you walked out of that train station behind him, everything was wrong. 

you don’t know how to describe it. it was right but… at the same time, it wasn’t. 

to begin with, you ended up at the wrong station but it led you to the right street to get home. the streets name were the same, but the stores weren’t. 

and the bus stop—the bus driver that had worked there for fifteen years, the one you had greeted for fifteen years, suddenly became an entirely different person. he never missed a day, no matter what occasion it was. 

things weren’t right and you had no idea what was going on. 

following niki, you get lost in your thoughts. you shake your head, clapping a hand over your forehead. maybe… you’re just in a weird dream. a really realistic one, because none of this made sense. it wasn’t raining anymore either, which would’ve been fine, excluding for one tiny detail: the streets were completely dry. judging by the strength of the rain earlier, it really shouldn’t—no, it couldn’t have dried up that fast. 

It wasn’t physically possible. 

you could easily navigate your way around this area because you lived here all your life. and yet, it felt like you didn’t live here. not when this random stranger (only on a first name basis) keeps insisting that you died. 

niki—or whoever—leads you to a very familiar library, the same one where you spent hours studying for your finals. you head in, feeling a bit better hearing the familiar entrance chime. you walk ahead of him to take your spot by the back corner. the fact that this place was essentially the same gave you some comfort.

niki seems surprised, but he doesn’t say anything, only taking the seat across from you. 

“okay.” you start, glancing at the boy with wary eyes. 

“if whatever bs you’re spewing is true, explain.”

he raises his eyebrows. 

“me? explain?” 

you nod and he scoffs, “i think you’re the one who should be explaining. after all, you’re the one that’s supposed to be dead-“

“i’m not dead.” you grit out, rolling your eyes. 

“okay, okay,” he raises his hands in surrender, “but you still need to talk.”

you sigh, rubbing your temples. 

“what do you want me to say? that i got soaked, took the train home, overslept, and then missed my stop? then, i bumped into a weird boy-”

he shoots you an offended look, which you ignore. 

“-who keeps telling me that i died. oh, and the more and more i stay here with you, the more wrong everything gets?” you barely get the last word out before niki leans in, eyes focused intently on you. 

the closer he gets, you more you begin to malfunction. you unconsciously hold your breath, alarm and confusion evident in your eyes. his hand reaches out, slowly, to your head. your body freezes.

his fingers catch a drop of water at the tip of your hair. “sorry. that was bothering me.” 

you exhale, glaring at him. “are you serious?”

“yeah. are you?” 

“no,” you deadpan, “i’m a ghost and i’m haunting you. of course i’m being serious!” 

he gives you an unconvinced look and you roll your eyes, “i’m y/n y/l/n. we live an hour away from the capital. my house is two blocks away in the neighborhood with the broken fountain, and right now we’re at the library that doesn’t open on thursdays.  

you harshly tug off your suddenly dry hoodie, displaying your school uniform. 

“and by the looks of it, we go to the same school.”

his eyes widen as he leans in closer to study your uniform. you shrug away, caught off guard. then you frown, “but i’ve never seen you before at school. how do i know that you’re not some imposter?  that you somehow stole a uniform to get something from me?”

he rolls his eyes while you gaze at him suspiciously.

“obviously not, because that’s dumb.” 

you scoff. 

“i live here. why would i go through all the trouble to steal a uniform to get something from you? besides, what would i need from some-“ 

he glances at you and you tense,  

“-kid like you? you’re the one who came out of the train looking so suspicious, it’s like you appeared out of nowhere,” he counters. 

you place your palms flat on the table, “okay, it’s obvious we aren’t getting anywhere. we both don’t have answers and we’re not even close to one. all i know is that i’m alive,” you shoot him another look, “and that i somehow ended up here. now, can i go?”

there’s a brief pause before niki speaks up, slowly. “i already told you, you can’t be seen. come with me. and keep the hood on.” 

you roll your eyes. who was he to boss you around? 

he grumbles something along the lines of- “don’t want to be seen walking around with a dead person.” 

the only reason you listened was partly due to fear that you would lose your way in this familiar, yet unfamiliar place.   except, you know exactly where he’s taking you. because it’s the same neighborhood you live in. 

“wait,” you call out, “this is where i live.” you point to your house, and niki grimaces. 

“i know. there were police here for days.” 

you stop, unsure of what to say or do. police? at your house? when? 

you stare at your supposed house, suddenly dark and empty. what in the world happened? 

“come on,” niki calls out and you move to catch up. you’re starting to think niki may be telling the truth. 

soon enough, you make it to an unfamiliar house about a street down from yours. as niki unlocks the door, you take the opportunity to study him, trying to recall if you’ve ever seen him before. but when he turns to you, you clear your throat and look away. 

“this is my house,” he tilts his head while opening the door. 

you like the fact that it’s messy. it felt much more homey because of that. it was also a lot bigger than yours, filled with fancy and intricate things. to which you assume this niki guy has more money than he has yet to admit. he tells you to wait in the living room, and he soon returns with a stack of books. 

you pause, “yearbooks?“

he nods, “yeah, our school’s.” 

strangely enough, most of the covers are different than yours at home. 

but everything else is the same, like the name and logo. he pulls out this year’s yearbook and flips through before stopping at a page. 

“that’s me,” he points to the picture of him and you tilt your head, frowning.

“huh. so we are in the same year. but i’ve never seen you in my yearbook—or at school before. i swear i would’ve seen you at least once before...” 

you rub your temples, this whole situation was making your head hurt. none of it made sense. you study his picture, why in the world did he actually look good in his yearbook photo? your eyes shift toward his name, 

nish—

he turns the page before you can finish reading, only to get distracted by seeing familiar classmates in your yearbook. niki stays silent as he flips through pages and you continue to point out your friends and classmates and stare in wonder at the unfamiliar ones- 

ones that you’ve never seen before in your life but somehow their faces are printed on the page, in the same grade and same school as you. 

just like niki. you were actually speechless. 

eventually, he stops flipping eventually and looks at you. you catch his eye and glance down at the page, immediately catching on. you breath hitches. 

“no way—” 

“—and there’s you.” 

it is you. you can confirm, it’s a photo of someone who looks exactly like you. but… it’s not you. 

almost everything is the same, your face and clothes. your hair was cut shorter, and your smile wider for the picture. you were even wearing makeup, for crying out loud. you can only stare at the photo. 

according to niki, this you is dead? 

you look up at him, stomach churning. what in the world was going on? 

the silence lasts until niki finally speaks up with a hesitant tone. “i might be tripping, but have you ever heard of… alternate realities?” 

you shake your head firmly, “don’t even get me started on that-“

he cuts you off, “i know, i know. but just hear me out.” 

you have no choice but to internally whisper a quiet plea of help. he scoots closer, 

“wouldn’t it make sense? there’s really no other explanation. maybe it’s because i watched that spider-man movie recently, but you being from another world would explain how you’re alive right now—when in this world, you’re dead. plus, all the similarities and differences that you mentioned can be chalked up to different timelines—the butterfly effect and stuff like that.”

you don’t know what to say. 

could it actually be?

what other explanation could there be? 

“please say something,” niki mumbles and you release a breath you didn’t even know you were holding. 

“okay. okay. fine. say the whole multiverse crap is true. then how did i even get here? how did i—” 

you do air quotations, 

“—switch dimensions to another world?” 

niki shrugs, “no idea.”

he scratches his head, “it’s weird to think about but i mean, maybe there’s a reason why you came here.”

his voice suddenly gets lower and you shiver, “you know, the timing’s a bit weird that you showed up right after the other you passed away.”

you clear your throat, “let’s not think about that right now. we should probably focus on the whole me being dead thing, right?” 

“what?” 

you glance at him questioningly, “what?”

niki raises an eyebrow. “what’s there to focus on? you died.”

you don’t have to rub it in my face, you mumble under your breath. 

“shouldn’t we be focusing on how to get you back to your world?”

you roll your eyes, “sure, but still, i kinda want to know how i died? i think i deserve to, you know, so maybe i don’t make the same dumb mistake back home.” 

“-if you ever get home,” he corrects and you huff.

“whatever, just tell me. we don’t even know if your dumb alternate reality theory is right.” 

“okay,” niki rubs his hands nervously and you wait in anticipation. 

“well, it actually happened last thursday.”

you swallow. why was your heart rate picking up? 

“at school. on, uh, the rooftop. no one witnessed it, and the cctv was broken so we don’t have any exact answers. but from what I’ve heard,” he gives you a cautious glance, 

“the police are about ready to call it a suicide.” 

at first, you think you misheard him. but the hesitant gaze and pause proves you otherwise. 

at first it doesn’t hit you. but then suddenly you feel sick to your stomach. your hand grips the table for support as you try to take it all in. 

you? 

a suicide at school? 

what about your family, your friends-

“no,” you whisper, shaking your head.  “i… i would never-“

you slam your hands on the table, “i know myself. i would never do that.”

his face is grim and sympathetic, which you can feel the dislike churn in your stomach at that. “i’m really sorry… that’s the current situation. it kinda blew up at school, but everything’s still so recent that nothing is confirmed yet.“ 

unspoken words linger in the back of his head, that he questions if he should say it or not.  

that niki really didn’t know you that well, that you were just another classmate of his. one that he passed in the halls without a second glance back. that the you in his world-

was just a stranger to him. 

yet seeing you, desperate and alive, right in front of his eyes. he doesn’t know what to do or say. so niki watches you bury your head in your hands. and he waits. 

it’s only a couple of minutes later that you look up. his face morphs into one of surprise when he sees your determined expression. 

“niki,” you state carefully and he nods, waiting patiently.

“are you sure that i-i did it?”

you can’t bring yourself to say the word but niki gets it. he sighs, 

“no. no one’s sure. but from what i’ve heard, the police haven’t found any other motives so… a suicide seemed most likely.” the more and more niki talked, the more unsure he got. 

your face hardens. 

“so there’s no proof? the police aren’t doing their freaking job and investigating?” 

his eyes widen—surprised at your sudden outburst—and you sigh, voice falling to a whisper.

“did i really commit suicide? and why do i care so much?” 

something warm falls over your hand and you jump, glancing up.

even for only a split second, his hand covers yours in a sympathetic attempt, “i’m sorry y/n. i wish i had answers but i really don’t know…”

despite the awkward look on niki’s face and overall awkward situation, his words strangely comfort you. 

you bite your bottom lip. “i-i have to get to my house.”

he stiffens, “what?” 

you stare at him, eyes sharp, “if no one else is going to do something, i at least have to.” 

you need to. for yourself. 

niki scoots closer, “y/n, you can’t just-“

“i know. but i need to know. something just-ugh,” you rub your face in frustration, “something doesn’t add up. i have to check. it’s like i can feel it deep within me.”

he sits there wordlessly. when you don’t get a response, you stand up. niki splutters, “w-where are you going?”

you cross your arms, “without or without you, i’m going to my house.” 

he slaps a hand to his face in frustration. “just how stubborn are you?” he mumbles. you hear it and yet you decide to ignore him. 

“thanks for the help i guess,” you give him a (weak) half-smile before turning towards the door 

“wait! you’re being serious?!” 

his desperate voice calls out and you internally debate if you should listen to him or not. slowly, you turn back around, “yeah. do you need something?”

“no, but you do— a plan. especially since the police closed off your house for investigation. plus, most of the evidence would have been taken already.” he clasps his hands together behind his back.

you shrug. “okay, and? i’ll still find a way. i have nothing to lose. i’m not even supposed to be alive.”

he groans loudly and you raise an eyebrow.

“idiot. i’m trying to say that i’ll help you. i-i want to help you.”

“i didn’t ask,” you raise your hands in mock surrender.  annoyed, niki puts his hands on his hips.

“sure, but i know plenty of things you don’t. this is my world. so, are you gonna accept or not?”

“you wish you did,” you retort, yet you can’t help the small smile that grows on your face, “but… i would appreciate it. just be grateful that i’m accepting your dumb theory from a spider-man movie as of right now.” 

niki gulps at the sight. it was the first time he saw you smile since you met. at least, the first smile he saw from the you of an alternate universe. 

“whatever you say,” he holds out a hand, 

“miss imposter.” 

you take it gladly, harshly.  “don’t call me that-“

“my name is y/n y/l/n.” 

you spin around in niki’s chair, having went up to his room to figure out your so called master plan. niki (respectfully) offered to let you stay in his room for the length of your “visit.” 

to which you almost punched him. 

but he explained that there were no extra guest rooms and you were still technically dead, so hiding in his room was the best bet as to not raise any questions. you could take the makeshift bed in the corner of his room as to not raise suspicion. you were surprised yet grateful. 

“i’ll grab extra blankets and pillows. and i’ll sneak you food and whatever you need.” 

“what about clothes and toiletries?”

he yawns, “easy. i’ll steal some from my sisters.” 

you feel bad, but you realize you have no other choice. you were literally stuck here. 

a part of you still wondered if this was a dream. a horrible one, at the least. but while you were stuck here, might as well make the best of it. niki graciously offered and you had no choice but to accept. you almost scoff at the ridiculousness of the situation. 

“so basically, i’m like a secret pet you’re hiding from your parents?” 

“technically… yes,” niki rubs his hands together, and you can only watch the mischievous expression grow on his face.

“but i like to think that you’re like eleven. you’re different—you’re special, like her.”

you hold back a laugh at the words. 

clearing your throat, you try to play it off. “from stranger things? your world has that show too?” he lets out a scandalous gasp and this time you giggle. 

“of course, dude. what kind of world would i be living in if i didn’t have stranger things?” 

“apparently a horrible one,” you snort. 

after the whole living situation was sorted out, you returned to your investigation. 

“so you’re saying the police taped off my house for further examination?”

“uh, yeah? that’s how it works?” he raises a brow. 

you stuck your tongue out at him, “okay,  smartass. then how do we get in?” 

“clearly, there’s only one way: sneak in.” 

“i don’t think this is a good idea?” niki whisper shouts at you and you shush him. 

the sun was barely setting. if anyone knew you, they knew you really couldn’t be deemed as patient of any sort. 

niki watches you struggle up the tree in your backyard. 

obviously, going through the front door was a no go. luckily this house looked pretty much the same as your house, at least from the outside. you knew your parents weren’t home judging by the darkness.  you wondered if they were staying with other family. 

or were they at work? so soon after your death? 

you grimace, now was not the time to be getting in your feelings.

the best (only) option was jumping the backyard fence and going in through your bedroom window. leading to your predicament now.  

you exhale heavily when you find a place to rest, gripping the tree with all your might in hopes that you don’t fall 

you glance down at niki. 

“can you make it?”

he scoffs,  

“easy.” 

it was easy— easy for you to watch niki struggle to get up to your point. 

you were sort of scared the tree wasn’t going to support both your weights, at the way it was trembling slightly. niki makes it though, by the time the sun is well down. 

you can see him sweating heavily and your nose scrunches in amusement,“easy, huh?”

“yeah, for you just standing there and watching me. we don’t have all day, grandma.”

“don’t call me that,” you mutter while stretching out towards your window.

niki’s eyes widen. 

“be careful, y/n.” 

“i got it,” you stretch out a leg to the ledge and your sweaty hands begin to slide from the bark, most likely from exertion. 

without even thinking about it, niki places his hands around your waist to stabilize you. you don’t notice in your concentration to not fall to your death. you certainly didn’t want another dead you. 

your foot clicks the lock, and with a grunt you’re able to push the window open. 

“you got it?” 

“yeah,” you breathe out, clumsily making your way in. you reach out a hand for niki and he takes it, maneuvering his long body in through the small window. 

finally, you can breathe. 

it’s the first time you have the luxury to desperately wish that you were home right now. your real home. you certainly didn’t mean this home, the empty and cold looking one locked up for the police’s investigation. 

after catching your breath, you get up to examine your surroundings. you weren’t not sure what you were expecting. this was the other you’s room. 

all you can think is, at least this y/n was much cleaner than you. 

a part of you feels like you’re invading someone’s privacy. but then you realize that it’s literally your own privacy that you’re invading, with the addition of niki. you actually can’t believe the absurdity of the situation. 

at first glance the room looks pretty normal, an average teenagers room.  not what you expected for yourself, but there’s not much you can see. you turn to niki,

“there’s no shot we’ll get caught right?”

he gives you another sympathetic look, “we’ll keep a look out for the police, but i heard your parents were busy with your other family and funeral preparations, so it wouldn’t be them catching us.”

“oh.”

the air feels so glum, you clear your throat to move on. “guess we should look around?”

he nods and begins to snoop around.  

“wait,” you call out hesitantly. 

niki cocks his head and you cough awkwardly.

“it’s still my room, so like, be careful with what you look through.” 

he rolls his eyes. “yeah. i got it.” 

you gaze at the photos on your shelf, displaying your happy family and friends. it just made you acknowledge how precious they were. it made you miss your friends and family at home even more.  

you’re appalled at the books you read. you shake your head, seriously? you take out one of the books-

“ten days to love,” you voice aloud with disgust written across your face. 

you weren’t one to judge, but what kind of cheesy romance novels were you reading?  

niki opens your closet and you turn at the sound. your eyes widen- 

wait a second, 

your closet with clothes? possibly including…. more personal things? 

you dash over in desperation, praying that niki hasn’t already seen something that he shouldn’t. 

“don’t!” 

his wide eyes meet your panicked ones, shocked at the sudden change of events. he doesn’t move until you push past him, blocking the door from his view. 

“you didn’t see anything, right?” you stare at niki desperately and he furrows his eyebrows. 

“no? am i not supposed-“

“no reason. just being cautious. we can, uh, open it together.”

you carefully examine your belongings inside before deeming it safe for niki’s eyes. you let out a sigh of relief.

he gives you a weird look and you shoot him an exaggerated smile. 

“you can proceed!” 

he mutters something under his breath as you continue your search on the other side of the room. it didn’t seem like there was anything of importance on the shelves. but, after careful examination, you see a glimpse of something. pushing past some folders, your face morphs into a stunned one. 

you pull out… 

a pink teddy bear with hearts? why would this be in your room? 

and even more so, why was it hidden? 

niki calls out your name and you turn around. your mouth drops open. 

“a box of chocolates?“ 

he scoffs, “yeah. stuffed behind some clothes in your closet for some reason.”

“it’s not even the good brand,” you mutter. 

niki laughs, “maybe you had secret admirers from school?” suddenly, you give him a suspicious glance. 

“what makes you say that? you sure you weren’t one of them?” 

he side eyes you, “trust me, you wouldn’t catch me within five feet of you at school.”

you walk over to shove his arm and he only laughs harder. you huff, suppressing a smile on your face as you turn away. but you keep niki’s comment in the back of your mind. 

after a solid thirty minutes, you can feel your resolve waning. there was no sign indicating that you felt suicidal. at least, none that you found after the police probably scrounged through everything. some stuff was suspicious— 

like the teddy bear and chocolates. and some lavish perfume and makeup in the drawers. that just wasn’t your style. but you supposed this world’s you was just different. 

just because you weren’t particularly into those things didn’t mean another you couldn’t be. 

“did i have a diary? what about my phone?”

niki frowns, “the police would’ve taken it. it’s their evidence now.” 

you suddenly get an idea, and it’s probably wasn’t a good one. 

“hey, niki?” you call out. he hums in response.  

“what day and time is it, currently?” 

“uh…” he checks his watch, “sunday. 8pm. why?”

“when does the police station close?”

dummy, most people would say--why would the police station be closed?

luck seemed to be on your side, because you knew especially well from complaints by locals, that your local police station did actually have a curfew. and you could only hope it was the same here.  

niki scratches his head, “in ten minutes? why are-“

his mouth drops open, “no. no. no.” you shrug and he shakes his head adamantly, “y/n, there’s no way that we’re going to sneak in.”

you dust off your hands, “i’m all ears for any other ideas you have.”

you have him at that and he falls silent. after a couple moments, he speaks up albeit hesitantly. “well… i might have a way.“

you grin. “onwards, then.”

“wait, so how did you manage to get access again?”

he coughs, “my friend jungwon is the son of the police deputy chief… so i may have called in for a favor.”

“he managed to sneak in with his dad’s keys and get the files to my case?” you finish.

he nods. 

“illegally?”

he nods again.

you tap your chin, “would we get arrested if we got caught?” 

he shrugs, “probably.”

“good thing i’m not from this world.”

perhaps secretly hanging outside this jungwon’s house was not the best idea, either. he rolls his eyes before offering the file to you.

“do you want to open it?” to your surprise, his voice comes out quite comforting and soft. 

you gulp, “i guess i should.”

you feel sick for the second time that day. luckily, the photo didn’t show too much. not that it made it any better. it was still you, dead. 

you had to look at yourself and imagine yourself in that situation. you cover your mouth and niki immediately takes the file away from you. he watches worriedly as you shake your head.

“i’m fine. i-is there anything else your friend managed to get?”

“are you sure?”

“yes.” he doesn’t protest anymore at the tone of finality in your voice. 

niki pulls out a bag with your name on it. taking a deep breath in, you open it. you shuffle through some things hurriedly until niki speaks up.

“hold on a sec,” he softly places a hand on your arm to stop your actions.

“we should be careful. someone could notice that we tampered with the evidence so we need to be very careful when putting things back. plus, we have to give it back to him as soon as possible—we don’t want them noticing that your stuff is missing.”

you curse, “that’s right. we can’t risk taking anything.” 

“then what?” 

you pinch your nose bridge, “we snap pictures and hope it’s good enough. unless we want to take another field trip here.” 

you manage to snap a few pictures and go through a few things. you catch a glimpse of your diary and flip to the most recent page. it was about a week and a half ago, and-

it wasn’t finished. you skim through it, reading boring stuff about how your day was and how you met-

you squint.

the rest of the words were scratched out, harshly, with a black marker. seeing how it was getting late and dark, you can’t make out who’s name it was even with your phone flashlight. you wonder, could it be-

your thoughts are interrupted by niki. 

“y/n, i think we need to hurry and head home soon. the longer we stay out, the greater risk we’re at for getting caught. oh, and i found your phone.”

he holds it up and the extremely glittery case makes your eyes hurt. you eye it. heaving a deep breath, you prepare yourself to open your phone. 

but when you click the power button and nothing happens, you groan. you try again, and again, holding it down for seconds but the screen remains black.

“the phone’s dead.” you sigh again and niki bites his lip.

“maybe we should give up. we can ask jungwon another time,” he suggests

you nod wearily and he closes the box. as he gathers everything, opening his phone to text his friend to come back out, you glance at the time. it was quite late for a school day. 

“that’s right, you have school tomorrow?”

he groans, “yeah. i guess you’ll just have to stay home in my room. no one will go in while i’m at school, so you don’t have to worry.”

you nod, “okay.”

it felt weird knowing you were supposed to be at home, in bed and preparing to go to school yourself the next day. instead, you were stuck in another world—in a stranger’s room, forced to hide since you were supposed to be dead. 

were you considered missed at home? did anyone notice? call the cops? 

more like, if anyone cared? 

while you get ready for bed in niki’s bathroom, you stare at yourself in the mirror. 

yes, you affirm, you’re alive. 

you’re staring back at yourself, dressed in one of niki’s oversized shirts and basketball shorts. 

but the image of your dead face flashes in your mind and you immediately squeeze your eyes shut. you breathe heavily, hands planted on the sides of the sink. 

everything’s fine. you will get back home. things will figure themselves out. you’re okay. you’re breathing and-

a knock on the door makes you jump.

“y/n? everything okay?” niki’s voice sounds out hesitantly, “it seemed like you were taking a while so-“

the door swings open.

you stand there, face emotionless. he doesn’t say anything, and neither do you. niki tries to keep the image of you wearing his clothes out of his head, but it won’t seem to go away.

“goodnight, niki.” 

you slowly walk over to the temporary bed he’s set up on the floor for you. he blinks, 

“night, y/n.” 

it’s surprisingly comfortable, or maybe you’re just so exhausted you don’t seem to care or question anything anymore. 

you hear light footsteps padding to turn off the lights. 

in the darkness, your eyes close. but your mind is awake.

you know his is too, judging by the sounds of quite shuffling every couple minutes or so.

“niki?” you say quietly.

another shuffle. 

“yeah?”

“this may sound weird, but have you noticed anyone that looked particularly sad?”

there’s a pause. 

“about you?”

“yeah, but not like the typical sadness. like, anyone who seems to have changed drastically after hearing about me? let’s say,” you swallow, “any guys or friends of yours who seemed particularly upset or affected?”

niki rolls to the other side of his bed so that he faces you, but in the darkness he can only see the outline of your figure. “y/n, what are you trying to say?”

you tug the covers over yourself a little tighter. 

“nevermind, niki. have a good day at school tomorrow, and don’t worry about waking me up. you won’t be able to.”

“wasn’t planning on it,” he snorts. 

you fall asleep with a faint smile still lingering on your face. 

the next day at school, niki struggles. he struggles when it’s supposed to be another normal day, and all he can think about is you. 

especially about what you said.

niki never paid much attention before to his surroundings, there was no reason to. but now he keeps an eye open.

he eyed anyone who passed by your locker, empty desk in class, anyone who mentioned your name. but the fact that you mentioned guys specifically, made him confused. 

why did it matter if a guy was upset? a lot of people were shocked and sad at the news. niki shook his head. he didn’t get it. 

meanwhile, you stayed at his home.

thinking. 

thinking about yesterday. somehow everything that happened was all just yesterday. you took the train and ended up here. then you found out you were apparently dead. 

you spent what felt like hours scrolling through the photos you took and waiting for niki to come home. all while eating snacks that niki left for you graciously. 

you don’t even know what time it is when you hear the door begin to open. you scramble to your feet before realizing that there was a chance it wasn’t niki. 

you go back to your hiding spot, shrinking underneath the covers. next thing you know, the bedroom door flings open. you tense.

however, a call of your name allows you to let out a sigh of relief. you hop up, “niki!”

he grins, looking rather cute in his ruffled school uniform, backpack slung off one shoulder. you stop yourself, horrified at your thought. at your face falling, he cocks his head. “what’s wrong?”

you laugh awkwardly, “nothing! nothing at all!” 

he gives you an unconvinced look but doesn’t press further. 

“you must’ve been bored without me.” 

that was the niki you’ve come to know (in the span of a day or so).  sarcasm drips from your lips as you laugh dryly, “sure.” 

but you knew he was right and he knew it too. 

“i spent the day looking through the pictures, but i couldn’t find much else,” you frown. 

“same here. today was pretty normal, no one seemed any different than usual…” 

“i mean, the mood has been somber ever since you,” he pauses, “left. but nothing out of the ordinary.” 

you seemingly deflate, but niki perks up. “i talked to jungwon and he said he’s going to try and get your phone next time. we can only hope that someone charges it or that we can charge it ourselves.” 

you nod, “that’s good.” 

“but, don’t you have work to do? what about your family?”

you realized you didn’t see or even hear of them yesterday. 

“oh, they usually stay late at the dance academy—me included. but my grades haven’t been good recently, so they’ve been forcing me to go to home and study…”

you tsk as niki gives you a sheepish look. 

“you know, while we’re waiting, i’m not too bad at studying myself. what do you need help with?” 

niki rolls his eyes, “thanks, but no thanks. i don’t need another person on my back about my grades.” 

instead, he falls back onto his bed with an oof. 

“don’t worry, i’ll manage. let’s just talk about our next step. 

“step? as in, my case?

“yeah,“ his eyes glint, “i have an idea.”

you were starting to believe he was getting more invested in this than you were. 

“okay—shoot.”

what was the worse thing he could suggest?

“we should sneak you into school-“

your eyes practically bulge as you gape at him. “excuse me? weren’t you the one saying i was going too far with sneaking into my own house and you want me to do what?” 

niki gets up, placing his arms on your shoulders to calm you. strangely enough, it did. 

“hear me out first—we sneak into school at night, bust open your locker, and see what you have. that’s better than waiting for jungwon.”

“don’t you think the police would have already looked through my locker? 

“well, he looks around nervously, “as far as i’ve heard, the police were already mostly convinced the case was closed and didn’t care to check. but, what can i say? rumors are just rumors.” 

you purse your lips. what did you have to lose? being in a different world made you much more reckless than you would have ever thought. but that didn’t mean you were going to be stupid about it.

“fine.” 

niki winces at your tone, but you speak up,

“how in this stupid multiverse crap am i going to break into my own locker? and with cameras all around school?

he smirks and you raise an eyebrow.

“i didn’t miss a whole chem lecture for nothing—“ 

confused, you give him a look as if to say, what in the world are you talking about? 

“who said we had to know the combination?” he takes out a pair of keys form his pocket. 

you gasp in awe, clasping a hand over your mouth.

you gaze at him with wide eyes for a second, causing him to look at you questioningly. 

“you’re actually being smart...” 

his confused expression immediately changes to one of irritation. 

you stand up straight again, “how did you even get those keys? and what about the cameras?” 

he winks and you glance at him, trying to remain expressionless. if there was anything you noticed, it was that niki was actually quite attractive. it made you wonder if he was popular at school…

“it’s a secret. don’t worry about it.” 

“you sure have a lot of secrets, niki. like, is niki even your real name?” you squint accusingly. 

niki chokes on his spit, “how in the world did you know?” 

you falter. “huh? it isn’t?” 

he clears his throat, “anyway, i have to get up early for school tomorrow.” 

you eye him but decide to let it go. niki shrugs, “usually i’m up playing games, but you look like you need the sleep with those eye bags. you aren’t surprised.

“tomorrow night,” he says shortly after. “i’ve got a plan—you just have to trust me.”

turns out said plan was dumb, but you really had no other choice. 

niki made some lame excuse to his teachers about staying late to study- and his teachers, being utterly shocked that he offered to study, immediately agreed to let him linger. 

meanwhile, niki would sneak you in, wearing one of his old uniforms that was too small for him so that just in case, no one would question anything. along with one of his totally inconspicuous baseball caps to hide your face and hair. 

you sigh, you couldn't believe you were sneaking into school through the boys bathroom. you groan while maneuvering through the window. niki shushes you, causing you to stick your tongue out at him. he raises his hands playfully and you resist the urge to smack him. 

on your way to jump down from the window, your left foot gets caught on the ledge. you stumble forward, expecting to be met with the revolting bathroom floor face first. instead, perhaps now was the time to thank the universe (in this case, his universe?) for niki’s quick reflexes.

he inhales, catching you by catching and pulling you towards him instead of the ground, essentially into his arms. 

instead of faceplanting into the ground rather foolishly, you fall into his strangely soft and warm chest. you let out a barely discernible squeak, unable to respond due to the pounding of your heart. 

after a couple of seconds—that felt like forever— niki lets you go with a shake of his head. 

“my god y/n, i had no clue you were this clumsy. please don’t ever do that again.” 

please don’t ever make me sneak into a nasty teenage bathroom again, you wish you could retort. 

you shake your head quickly, lips pressed thinly together. don’t get distracted, you remind yourself.  “yeah-thanks. let’s uh, just hurry.“

you don’t have time to wonder what would the consequences be if you got caught by cameras or anyone else while niki leads you down the familiar hallways. 

“how do you know which one’s my locker? i thought you said we didn’t really know each other?“ you eye him suspiciously.

he scoffs, “don’t get too excited. mine’s just a couple lockers down so i was bound to see you at your locker by some point.” 

he hands you the keys and you gratefully accept—your hands slightly trembling. you didn’t know what to expect. 

niki watches from behind, and you can feel his warm breath on you occasionally, causing you to shiver.

with a slight click and creak of the rusty locker door, the locker opens. you hold your breath at first glance. it’s…. normal? 

normal as in any average high schoolers locker one would expect. what catches your eye first are a couple of photos of you and your friends. 

on deeper inspection of yourself (it was still weird to imagine and even weirder to see) you see a twinkling, intricate chain around your neck. maybe you were tripping (again, but mentally this time) or that necklace you had on seems really expensive? 

“there’s no way,” you suddenly gasp and turn to niki with wide eyes. 

“what?” niki starts to panic, “what is it?” 

“am i actually loaded in this world?” 

niki pinches the bridge of his nose as he shakes his head. “jesus, you scared me. i mean, you didn’t seem like it.. who knows where you got that super expensive, luxury brand necklace? it looks familiar…“ 

you try your hardest not to roll your eyes. of course, niki would know. 

“how much are you talking?” 

he taps his foot on the floor, “well, my mom and sister likes that brand. that specific necklace is specially made since it’s a seasonal limited edition, so it’s somewhere in the thousands-“

you truly forgot how rich niki’s family was, you think with a half joking tch and a shake of your head. niki glances at you, impressed. 

“-whoever gave that to you must’ve really cared.” 

you frown, “sure… or maybe i just really worked hard to get it for myself?” 

he’s shoots you an amused look, “you wanted to get yourself the valentine day’s collection necklace? 

“what?” 

you feel your heart rate begin to pick up, “are you implying what i think you are? 

“yes?” he responds with a raised eyebrow, “someone must’ve been really in love with you to gift you that. maybe your parents or friends?” 

then niki pokes your side playfully, “-or a secret admirer?” 

you don’t answer his question, regardless of if he was being serious or not. you peer into the locker again, “but where is it? it’s so valuable i’m certain we would’ve seen it in the police’s evidence…” 

suddenly, niki grabs your wrist. that’s when you hear the footsteps. you turn to him with wide eyes as he mouths for you to hide.  panicking, you look around in desperation before he pushes you—

straight into the locker. 

your own locker. 

you know you should be freaking out over getting caught, but you could only wonder—could this be considered a crime? 

in the dark, stuffy locker, you see a glimpse of niki’s silhouette run past through the tiny openings of the door. just barely a second later, you hear more footsteps. squinting, you able to discern a familiar, yet weirdly unfamiliar guy. your eyebrows raise. 

no way. park sunghoon was in this world too? 

you hold your breath when you hear him call out, “is someone there?” 

really, curse niki for shoving you in your own locker. yet it was also a smart move as no one could see into your locker, but you were able to see out. 

“sorry. that was me, pres.” 

it was niki’s voice. 

you can barely see his relaxed demeanor appearing to face sunghoon. 

“i was staying back to study and catch up on work—you know already,” he adds hastily. 

sunghoon nods coolly, “i was just checking. making sure everything’s good before leaving.” 

niki was a little too good at acting, you questioned how often he had done this to those around him. he fake salutes, “i promise to clean up after i’m done. no need to worry, class president.” 

“alright, see you later.” 

you have a sigh of relief as sunghoon turns to leave. 

but you swear, for a split second, his expression changes as his eyes fall on your locker. 

your heart rate picks up. did he notice you? 

however, sunghoon leaves without a second look back. 

you frown—what was that? 

after waiting a minute to be safe, niki quickly lets you out. only to be greeted by your displeased face and crossed arms. 

“that was the only thing i could think of in the moment!” he immediately defends himself. 

“seriously? i could’ve-like-“ you trail off and niki smirks.

“see? nothing bad would’ve happened.”

“doesn’t change the fact you stuffed me in my locker. it’s not even mine, for crying out loud.” 

“whatever. just be glad you didn’t get caught by park sunghoon, our school’s super rich, smart, and handsome-“

“i know him from my world. he’s irrelevant, let’s continue on.” you wave him off. 

you can’t help but compare him to niki. niki was way more genuine and… boyish in a way? he felt real. you preferred that. not to mention he had a much more tolerable presence, you supposed. 

everything else in the locker was useless. random crappy notes, perfumes and hand lotions, along with the pictures you already inspected were the only things that decorated your locker. no sign of that ridiculously expensive necklace. 

you rub a hand over your face in exasperation. “that’s it…”

one thought still lingered in the back of your mind. where was the necklace? 

“hey, y/n, i think we should get going soon. the lights are going to turn off soon-they’re automatic and we didn’t bring any flashlights.” 

you sigh. next time. 

it feels like you’ve hit a dead end. by the end of the week, niki has caught up on his studies. you were surprised to find that he was quite dedicated to school, even if it didn’t seem like it. 

the days that niki came home with a pile of schoolwork and other duties, you went out to think—with one of niki’s hoodies and a mask on. but the times you spent with niki since you couldn’t go out much, mainly at night, were nice. 

tutoring him at subjects he was struggling in, learning new dances together (and learning how talented he really was), simply being around him was enough to distract you from your impending crisis. 

niki always came to keep you company and bring you food. you really were his eleven. 

niki was gaming while you sat off to the side, watching him play. you admired his side profile, the shine from the bright computer screen enhancing his features, the furrow of his eyebrow as he focused. 

he yells as his character dies and you can’t hold back your laughter, “you kinda suck-“

all of a sudden, you hear a knock on the door. 

“bro, you good? i swear i heard another voice-“

the door handle begins to turn.

you and niki share a look of panic. 

your first instinct is to dive and roll, underneath niki’s bed. you ignore the fact that it’s as dusty as you’d expect for a teenage boy’s room and hold your breath. 

“mom said dinner is ready. also, what’s with all the noise? it sounded like someone else was in the room with you.” a girls voice—niki’s older sister, you presume. 

“nope. just me.” 

you cringe at the fact that niki’s voice is octaves higher. it wouldn’t be that much of a problem if his voice wasn’t as deep as it normally was. 

“it was just probably the video i was playing.” 

“…sure,” you hear his sister’s footsteps as she leaves and shuts the door behind her. 

you let out an exhale of relief. 

“y/n?” you hear soon after. 

“under here.” 

you turn to see niki’s head peeking down underneath the bed. 

you meet his curious eyes. cute. 

“jeez.” he holds a hand out and you gladly accept it, letting him pull you up with ease. huffing, you dust yourself off. 

“jeez, indeed. who knows what horrors you’ve been hiding under there.”

“hey,” niki defends himself, “i’ll have you know i am a very clean person and don’t-“

“oh really? then what’s this?” you hold up the sacred item, jerking your hand back as he reaches out to snatch it. 

“hey! haven’t you ever heard of privacy?” 

he lunges again as you laugh, just keeping it out of his grasp. however, you feel the bed frame hit your legs, and you gasp. 

you fall back, niki over you on his bed. he must’ve underestimated his arm-span and overestimated yours. 

niki lands over you with a soft grunt, eyes wide. you peer up at him wordlessly. his arms catch him, but it’s still so close you can feel his hair tickle your forehead. 

is this what the movies mean when your heart… skips a beat? 

niki snaps out of his trance, “s-sorry,” he hastily gets up. you cough, trying to dispel the stuffy atmosphere. 

“so, uh, i had an idea.”

“yeah? what’s up?”

“i was thinking we look at the evidence again. i just want to double check something.”

“come on,” you take niki’s hand. it was habitual by this point. 

“you got the charger, right?”

niki nods, taking it out of his pocket. 

it was risky asking niki’s friend to retrieve the evidence for you again, but you needed to confirm your suspicions. or, hit a dead end. 

when niki returns, carefully holding a plastic bag (and dinner, your grumbling stomach reminds you), your eyes zero in on one thing. 

“thanks. i know it must be hard for your friend to sneak behind his dad’s back like that.” 

“it’s fine,” niki shrugs, “i promised to buy him lunch for the next week.” 

you snort as you take out “your” phone and plug it into the charger. 

“okay. now we wait.” 

niki looks at you expectantly, and you only stare at him back. subconsciously, a hand raises to your face. “is there something wrong?”

he shakes his head while looking away sheepishly, “nothing, nothing.”

you open your mouth to question him further, but the phone screen flashes. you scramble to open it. thankfully you were able to use your own face id. 

as soon as you scroll through your messages, your stomach sinks. you raise a hand to cover your mouth. 

“what?” niki jumps up, “what did you find?”

you open the photos app, which only confirms everything. you drop the phone, and that’s when niki sees it. 

“oh my god.” 

“don’t even-“

“i was secretly dating park sunghoon?!”

you cup a hand over your mouth. “i think i’m gonna be sick.” 

niki scoffs, taken aback. “b-but how? you- and him-?”

you rub a hand over your face. “don’t ask me. but the valentines gifts and necklace were so suspicious, i started wondering… i just didn’t expect it to be him.” 

niki notices the sour expression on your face. 

“oh. you don’t like him?”

you shake your head vehemently, “bro, not even if he and i were the last two people on earth.”

you think about your world’s sunghoon and almost shudder. he was selfish, arrogant, could but would never keep a girl for more than two weeks. yet the whole class still loved him and you never understood it, never understood the appeal of him. 

besides getting bro-zoned, niki relished your words. 

“good to know.” 

“i wish i didn’t,” you sigh.

but that was besides the point. you still didn’t know how it all added up. did sunghoon—unfortunately, your boyfriend in this world—have anything to do with your death? did he really get you that expensive necklace? 

and as much as you wanted to deny it, you couldn’t rule it out. thinking as rationally and fairly as possible, suicide was likely-as much as you didn’t believe it. you couldn’t rule it out simply based on a feeling. plus, his expression when he passed by your locker lingered in your mind. 

“so, now what?” niki watches you carefully. 

“you’ve heard of the saying, keep your friends close but your enemies closer, right?”

“yeah,” he cocks an eyebrow, “why?”

“well, i’ve got a task for you.” 

niki has never spoken a word to your friend group in his entire life. the most he’s ever done was send a cold look their way and pretend not to know them out in public. 

he had nothing against them—nothing against your choice of friends—but he preferred not to associate with your group. he couldn’t put his finger on it, but he just didn’t vibe with them. 

and yet here he was, talking to your “friends” because you asked him to. he sighed, the things he did for you. 

danielle looks him up and down with her arms crossed. “why are you asking about y/n? since when did you care about them?”

“please,” he sighs in exasperation, “i just need to know if anyone disliked y/n or was acting suspicious around them.”

haerin steps up, an annoyed frown on her face. “there’s no one. can’t you tell this is a touchy subject for us? now, leave us alone.” 

she grabs danielle and walks off, angrily whispering into a distressed looking danielle’s ears. 

niki wants to punch someone. besides the fact that surrounding people were catching onto his conversation and whispering about the interaction, he essentially got nothing out of it. 

you were also at a dead end. after scrolling through hundreds of disgusting texts and photos of you and sunghoon, there was nothing remotely suspicious. plus, you had to give your phone back to jungwon soon before anyone noticed it was missing. 

everything seemed normal. everything was normal. normal until this world’s you suddenly died. 

the only lead you had was the missing necklace. and yet where were you supposed to find it? it could be anywhere—in the police’s hands, with sunghoon, most likely gone. 

you couldn’t even go out on your own, you felt like a hopeless rapunzel trapped in her tower, desperately wishing for answers and freedom. it was starting to get to you. the stress, homesickness, and most of all, loneliness. 

you throw your phone to the side and bury your face in your hands, trying your best to focus on your breathing. you almost don’t realize how long it’s been until you hear a faint call of your name. 

“y/n? y/n, what’s wrong?” niki drops his backpack and rushes to your side. 

his eyes carefully examine your body, checking for who knows what. you slowly lower your hands, revealing your bloodshot eyes and tear stained face. 

what scared niki the most was the lost look in your eyes, a deep and dark pool void of any emotion. 

“niki… i don’t think i can do this anymore,” your words float out carefully, like a whisper of the wind. 

“i’m trying my hardest, but it’s so frustrating. i miss my home, i miss my life. i miss myself.” as soon as the words leave your mouth, you feel yourself break down. and right as you do so, niki reaches forward to wrap you in an embrace. 

“i want to go home,” you whisper in an small voice. 

his heart almost breaks at the sight. you sounded like a little kid—you looked like you were a little kid again, as small and curled up you were when he found you. in his eyes, he saw a lost child looking for their parents, their guidance and their own light in the world. 

he resolves to never be the cause of your pain again. 

niki holds you for the entire night as you cry and drift off to sleep. 

you wake up with a headache and a dry throat. you feel hungover, although you’ve basically never drank alcohol before. 

somehow, you’re not sure exactly when, you ended up in niki’s bed. as soon as you’re able to sit up, your eyes fall on the clock on the bedside table. 

11 am. niki must be at school still, you note. 

you wonder what he’s up to, if he was being a good student while you were stuck all alone at his home, skipping your own school. you wonder what life is like back at home. did time even pass? 

niki heads home as soon as the bell rings. he wanted to see you, to comfort you and reassure you. he wanted you to be okay. 

when he knocks on his own bedroom door and there’s no response, he frowns. all there’s left is a pink sticky note on his desk. 

went out for fresh air. don’t worry and don’t look for me. 

niki immediately drops his stuff and runs out. he goes to the train station, the bookstore. he even goes back to school, for crying out loud. 

he’s breathless and exhausted by the time he’s arrived back home. niki knows his family won’t be back. it was competition season, which meant the busiest time of the year for the other dancers. you were the sole reason he attended school at this time of the year, studying hard instead of skipping and dancing 18 hours each day. 

he’s scared. 

niki hasn’t felt this feeling in a long time—he can only recall the time where he was six and went to disney world. his older sister was pressuring him into riding one of the larger roller coasters, and he felt that sickening nausea fill him as he looked up at the towering structure. 

he almost gives up. he basically has, until he notices something strange. his balcony door is unlocked, and he always kept it locked for safety purposes.

tense, niki reaches out and slowly turns the handle. what greets him is certainly not what he expected. 

you sit on the balcony railing, hanging over the edge quite precariously with your feet swinging. one slight mistake and you would fall. 

you stare down at the passing cars, cloudy and dreary skies showing you it was soon to rain.

niki stares at you, and you turn around at the sound of the door to stare back, not a single word exchanged. 

then you finally break the eye contact, glancing down at your stilled feet. “i wasn’t going to do it.” 

he silently moves closer, hopping next to you on the railing as well. “okay.” 

you don’t see the tender way his eyes travel over you. your voice is quiet as you speak up, “you don’t have to say anything.”

“okay,” niki repeats. 

it’s not said in a sarcastic way. it’s not sad, either. it’s just..... soft. soft and understanding enough to make a blanket of comfort fall around you, to make it known that niki’s presence is here by your side.

suddenly, the rains starts and niki asks if you want to go down. you slowly nod and he helps you safely off the railing before opening the door for you guys go out in the rain. 

the rain doesn’t stop. 

and niki doesn’t stop either. he grabs your hand, dragging you along with him haphazardly. 

“where are we going?” you ask breathlessly. 

“out. like most people our age. we’re still kids.” 

“wow, i had no idea,” you mutter sarcastically. 

he holds back a smile of relief. good to know you were still your usual self. 

“you need a break. you’ve been so caught up in this case, you need to rest.”

“but-“

“come on,” he leads you on, “relax. it’ll give you a clear mind, so we can come back with a fresh start.” 

you’re hesitant until he pulls up at an arcade. “what if someone sees me? what if they-“

niki places a finger over your lips, silencing you. “we’re here to have fun like everyone else and not give a crap about anything else. now, are you gonna play or are you gonna get your butt kicked by me?”

a challenge was a challenge. 

you laugh at niki’s rambunctious side, yelling as he tries to cheat during competitive games and fight over the better toy gun. 

“just so you know, i technically won.” 

you playfully shove him, “in your dreams. you’re just saying that because you don’t want to-“

you get cut off by the loudest (and most embarrassing) grumble of your stomach. you both look down at your stomach. you look back up, petrified. 

niki almost cackles, “i guess that’s a sign.”

“it’s not my fault i fell asleep before eating yesterday,” you pout. 

“what do you want to eat?”

“anything. i’m serious.” 

niki watches with a fond smile as you quite literally inhale your food. 

“eat any faster, and you’ll make a new record.”

you flip him off as he laughs, putting more food onto your plate from his. you can only watch wordlessly, feeling your heart warm. after you finish eating, niki takes your hand again. you glance at him questioningly. 

“there’s one last thing i wanted to do,” he mumbles while avoiding your gaze. 

“how’s this one?”

you scrunch your nose in distaste at the sight, reaching to place red devil horns on niki’s head.

“i think this one fits you more.”

as he grumbles, you laugh. 

“fine, but i get to choose yours.” 

he ends up picking a frog headband for you—which you complain to no avail. his reasoning was, “you remind me of a frog. like the princess and the frog.”

you splutter, “but that means-“

“yes. i’m the princess.”

“obviously,” he adds. 

in the photo booth, you sit awkwardly. niki cocks an eyebrow. 

“i’ve never done this before, so…"

instead of teasing you like you originally assumed, niki only brings you closer. he wraps an arm around you while posing for the camera. you’re frozen, even as the countdown starts. you can barely manage a smile as the camera flashes. 

“what now?”

niki glances at the screen, “we still have three more pictures. what poses do you want to do?”

you’re at a loss for words. 

niki leans closer again. he makes a half heart with his hand as he looks at you expectantly. “how about a heart pose?”

“o-okay.”

you never felt so suffocated in that photo booth. and yet, you’ve never laughed harder. you’ve never been so happy in your life with someone else.  

“hey, this photo came out good!”

“but what happened to the first one?”

you both lean in to get a closer look at the photos that printed, and you end up feeling niki’s breath on your cheek. 

it was warm. it was nice to have someone so close to you and still feel comfortable. it was nice to know you were close enough to someone to feel that way. 

it was something you had never felt before. 

“..-y/n?”

“huh?” you snap out of your trance.

“i said, you can keep this copy.” 

you look at the pictures and then at niki. “what? no, it’s fine-“

“i said keep it,” he forcefully shoves the photo into your hand as he quickly heads over to the cashier to pay. 

you stand there for a minute, looking at the photos. you guys looked happy. you guys looked good…together. like you were a real couple, or something. you internally chide yourself while taking off your headband. what a silly thought, you brush off. 

on the walk back home, you feel utterly satisfied, humming as you match your pace with niki’s.

“when we arrive, i’ll let you in through the back, just to be safe.”

“whatever you say, mr. responsible.” 

he ruffles your hair and you swat his hand away in annoyance.

that night was the first night you’ve felt content. almost like you could stay here—like you belonged. you stare up at the dark ceiling, reflecting on the days events. 

“niki?”

you hear his bed shift. “yeah?”

“i just wanted to say thanks. for everything. you’ve been providing everything for me, all while helping me on my case. i’m grateful for everything. i don’t know how, but i promise to pay you back one day.”

“what’s with the sudden sappiness?” his tone is teasing, but light. he clears his throat to add, “but yeah, of course.”

“i dunno, i guess i’m just not used to this type of treatment back home.”

“what? what do you mean?” 

even in the dark, you can feel inquisitive stare on you. 

“i mean, i’m usually left on my own since my parents are working. and my friends, well, they’re nice and all…”

“but you don’t feel a true connection?” he finishes, and you roll over.

“yeah. i don’t really know what my friends are like in this world. who even are my friends? do i even have any?”

niki grimaces. 

“uh, yeah. i don’t know if they exist in your world, but have you heard of danielle? and haerin?”

“nope. what are they like?” 

he shifts again, and the bed creaks. “you see, i don’t really talk to your friend group. it’s nothing personal, i just don’t want to associate with them.”

“dang, maybe it really is just a me problem, in every life too.” 

you hadn’t thought about hanni and hyein since you got here. but danielle and haerin were two new leads. a new start, perhaps. 

now that you had more information from niki, you started your research again. specifically, insta-stalking. 

your specialty. 

niki hands you his phone with a suspicious look when you casually ask for it. you pray he doesn’t hear the sound of blood rushing in your ears or the pounding of your heart. 

as he goes to do his night time routine, you quickly tap on the instagram app and search up danielle’s name. it doesn’t take long for you to find her account since niki followed her. checking to make sure he didn’t come out of the bathroom, you scroll through her feed. 

and your heart stops when you see it. in the corner of a photo—a picture of her and haerin posing at school in front of their lockers. 

that’s your ridiculously expensive bracelet on danielle’s arm. you’re sure of it. 

you felt yourself grow nauseous as you quickly turn off niki’s phone as soon as you hear the door turn. 

“hey, are you okay? you look like you just saw a ghost..”

you blink and smile, peeking at him innocently, although the dread grows in the pit of your stomach. “huh? no. what are you talking about?”

“what were you doing on my phone?”

you look away sheepishly, “trying to see if i could call my mom?” maybe niki’s acting skills were rubbing off on you. 

“oh, and?” 

you shake your head, a fake grim expression plastered on your face. 

that night, you lay awake staring into the darkness. when you hear niki’s soft snores, you sneak over to his bedside table to retrieve the key. you know you shouldn’t, but you felt this was something you needed to do alone. 

you feel like you’re on the edge of the cliff, about to jump into the water. the adrenaline filled you, you were right there-

it was so close.

the next day, you have to pretend everything is okay. you smile when niki greets you good morning, even peck him on the cheek when he tells you he has to stop by the dance studio for the night. 

he visibly blushes, stuttering on his words, “w-uh, w-what was that.. for..?”

you shrug, “i’m just proud of you for getting your grades up. it’s your first time back dancing in a while so have fun, okay?” 

he nods, beaming as he squeezes your hand goodbye. as he leaves, your smile fades. it felt too normal. it felt too right to imagine having a life with niki, like this everyday.

and knowing what you knew now, it was wrong. it was wrong from the start, and yet you couldn't help yourself fall even deeper. you had to get back into the right mental state. you couldn't keep deluding yourself.

it was time to confront the truth.

you can’t believe you’re sneaking into through the school boy’s bathroom again. the locker key safely stored in your pocket, you find danielle’s locker. the same one from the photo she posted. 

this had to be the one. you can only hold your breath and hope as you unlock it. 

you quickly scramble through all the stuff, looking for the shiny bracelet. you don’t find it, but when you go to close the locker door in defeat, a crumpled up piece of paper falls onto the floor. 

you huff, taking it and opening it up. it’s a picture of sunghoon, you, and danielle, all smiling as you three posed for the camera. but it wasn’t just an ordinary picture—there was a big, red “X” scribbled over your face, with the words “finally done” written next to it. 

and hearts next to sunghoon’s face. 

horrified, you clap a hand over your mouth. 

during a break at the dance studio, niki doesn’t expect to open his instagram app and see danielle’s instagram show up on his recently searched. frowning, he taps on the account. he never cared to pay attention to danielle, so why was her account the last thing searched up? 

just out of curiosity, he scrolls through her recent posts. 

and then he sees it. something that is so hard to miss. it’s so strikingly familiar. 

he rushes home. when niki bursts through the front door, he doesn’t expect to find you missing. and when niki notices his old school uniform and cap gone, his heart drops. 

you sit on the floor next to the lockers  with your head buried on top of your knees. you’re sure you could get caught, but you don’t care. 

the crumpled picture feels heavy in your pocket. 

you stay there, staring at the walls until you see the moon shining brightly outside one of the windows. you haven’t eaten or drank anything the whole day. you’re not sure how long it’s been. 

“y/n!” 

great, now you were hearing things as well? 

furious footsteps stomp towards you.

“why did you leave without telling me? you could’ve gotten caught-it could’ve been dangerous?!”

“n-niki?” your eyes widen. 

before saying anything else, he pulls you up to your feet. 

“why would you come to school without me?”

for some reason, his words sting. you cross your arms, “what? like i can’t take care of myself?” 

he groans, “that’s besides the point! if someone saw you—“

“i don’t care! so why do you care so—“

a sound from down the hall cuts you both off. you turn to niki in panic and he curses. “the custodian comes on weekends to clean.”

you hold back a yelp as niki grabs your wrist and pulls you along in the opposite direction. 

he pushes through a door and turns to the left. you don’t stop until you’re inside the.. natatorium? 

“why are we-“

“there are no cameras here, unlike in the school building. i thought you would’ve known that.”

after he speaks, there’s an awkward silence. 

niki sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. “well, are you gonna tell me?”

you feel the frustration flow through your veins, “and what about you? you tell me why i have to let you know my every location? why i feel like i can’t take care of myself, l-like a sick, old dog who can’t go anywhere or do anything? i’m sick of it all!” 

“you don’t understand,” his voice raises,  and you interrupt him, getting closer and closer to him. 

“you’re right, i don’t. i don’t understand why you helped me in the first place. you say that you barely knew who i was, yet here you are acting like you care! like you cared about the dead me!”

at this point, his face is so close to yours, you can feel your breaths mix as neither of you back down. 

“i do care! of course i care! about you, standing right in front of me!” he clenches his fists. your eyes linger on a single vein on his neck that sticks out due to the intensity. the fire burning in his eyes, your trembling voices, it all makes you falter. 

you don’t know what you asked. you know the truth. niki always cared—more than cared. he always went out of his way to search for you, like the day on the balcony and today. he wanted to find you, he wanted to have you in his life, 

you realize it now. to put simply, he wanted you. 

and this was the first time you felt wanted. 

you don’t know what else to do, so you lean in and close the gap to kiss him. and if anything, niki immediately pulls you closer to him. 

when you break apart for air, his dark eyes still staring deep into yours, you think he’s gonna lean back in again. but you hear a faint voice sound, growing louder. your eyes both widen. the janitor.

without a second thought, niki pushes you. 

he does it lightly, although it’s still enough to make you lose your balance, and for a second you stare back at him, betrayal evident before you fall backwards—

straight into the pool. 

your eyes just barely peek open in the water, and then there’s a splash accompanying yours a few seconds later. 

he easily swims to you, cupping your cheeks and bringing your lips to his once more. it was a much different experience from just a few seconds ago. 

you stay entwined like that together, eyes squeezed shut, until you actually can’t breathe anymore and you have to smack niki’s arm. you both rise to the top, heaving water and air. 

after a few seconds of coughing and gathering your bearings, niki’s raspy voice fills the air. 

“at least he’s gone. i’ve always wanted to do that.”

you roll your eyes, splashing water back at him in revenge for pushing you earlier. “seriously? after we got almost got caught? we could’ve drowned!”  

you splash him again, “also, you could’ve given me a heads up!”

he grins, wiping the running water free from his face. “and where’s the fun in that?”

you shake your head in amazement, “you’re actually an idiot. i can’t believe you, niki.” 

“an idiot who saved us from getting caught.”

after returning home together, you sit and enjoy the peaceful silence as niki dries your hair. your mind can’t help but replay the last few moments, from finding the picture at school to kissing niki, and then finally get pushed into the pool. specifically, the kissing part. 

growing sleepy at the soft and warm feeling of niki’s hands running through your hair, you almost don’t hear him when he says, “all done.”

you thank him and he looks around awkwardly. 

“what is it?” you squint at him. 

“well, i wanted to apologize. i didn’t mean to make to feel that way. i was just really worried about you, and i felt hurt you didn’t tell me why you snuck into school again today. did you not trust me? did i do something wrong?”

you soften, eyes falling to the floor. 

“i’m so sorry, niki. i didn’t mean to lash out on you. of course i trust you, i just wanted to do something for myself for once. without needing your or anyone else’s help.” 

you exhale, “the reason i left today was for this—“ you take the damp, crumpled picture and unfold it as best as you can. 

niki’s hands fall to his side. “oh god.”

“it was danielle. she took my bracelet and i-i think she wanted my boyfriend. i know it has to be her.”

“w-what? but how?”

you shake your head. he goes to hug you. 

you feel tears brimming at the corner of your eyes, but you won’t waste any tears on her. you pull back to look at niki, with a determined expression on your face. 

“you have to catch her and make sure they get what they deserve.” 

niki stares at you deeply, “are you sure? because if you are, i won’t stop.”

he wonders why you say you and not we.

at that, you falter. 

“no. i never be sure because she is—was my best friend and i will always hold that guilt in me. but you have to do something about it.” 

niki’s hold around you tightens, “and what about you?”

you smile, albeit sadly. “you know i can’t stay here, hiding away forever. i don’t belong here. i already existed in your world, and at some point, i have to leave soon. i can feel it.” 

it was the same feeling as when you first came here. that day you felt off. the feeling that you don’t belong anywhere, but this time, you feel fulfilled. complete. like you were ready to go back home. 

“it’s not something i can explain, but i know it,” you look at him with determined eyes. 

and he looks back at you with pained ones. 

niki is able to convince jungwon to get his dad to reinvestigate the case again. the picture is given up as evidence, and danielle and haerin are taken in. 

the day they confessed out of guilt, you and niki celebrate by sneaking onto your school’s rooftop. the same place where it all started.

it’s a cold and windy night, but you could care less about getting sick. because it was your last day anyway. 

you didn’t tell niki, but you had a good feeling—like the world was patting you on the back and saying, “you worked hard.” 

the two of you watch the stars, snuggled up and reflecting on how your lives came to be like this. wondering how far away apart your worlds were. 

you kiss niki’s cheek, wishing to remember the feeling of being in his arms forever. his scent, his touch, his warmth, you wish you could keep all of it. you smile at him, willing back the tears. 

“there was a reason i bumped into you that day, of all people. there was a reason you came into my life, and i came into yours, niki.” 

he bites his lip, “y/n... you changed my life. every day with you was better than the last.” 

if this was a dream, you wouldn’t want to wake up. you trace his face, so it will remain ingrained in your mind forever, even when you go back to your world. 

“what will happen when i leave?” you whisper. 

“how will you even get back home?”

you shrug, “i don’t know how, but i know that i will.”

niki laughs, “that’s the y/n i know.”

as he kisses you once more, a star falls across the sky. 

the next day, you find a ticket in your bag. a train ticket. 

you don’t recall having bought one, and you don’t question niki. you only ask him to take you to the train station.

while walking hand and hand, you reminisce on the past month or so. “will we still remember this once you go back to your world?”

your body trembles, “i don’t know.”

“then… will i ever see you again?”

you don’t want to meet his eyes, because you know you’ll cry. 

yes, you want to say. instead, you say, “ i don’t know.”

niki wipes a stray tear on your face. you don’t even know how you reached your stop already. 

“this is it,” he says. 

but neither of you move. 

“don’t worry, even if i don’t remember you, you’ll always be in my heart. we’ll meet in your world,” he reminds you while the tears start falling down both of your faces. 

“don’t forget that there’s another me out there to annoy you. you just need to search hard.” 

you sniffle, playfully pushing him away as you furiously blink away the tears that blur your vision. you needed to soak up the sight of him as much of him as you could.

“i promise i’ll find you again.” 

he holds onto you until the very end, until you slip out of his grasp once more.

crossing the platform into the train while giving him one last, slow wave was painful. the last thing you can think of is the fact that you never knew. you never asked for niki’s full name. his real one. 

you never knew niki’s name.

and then everything fades into nothing. 

that’s the last time niki ever sees you. the train passes by in a flash, blowing his bangs across his face while he tries his best to keep that fake smile on his face for you—all for you before you go. 

then, you’re gone. 

in those seconds as the train passes, niki knows exactly why he did it. why he helped you through all of it, through everything together. 

all because you were there in class. you never looked at him, but he looked at you. he saw all of you, everyday—even if you didn’t know it. all your quirks and habits that he couldn’t help but find cute. you made his days interesting. 

but he was the coward for never approaching you. that was his fault because one day, you weren’t there anymore. 

and he had to pretend like nothing happened. on the outside, that’s how it was. even if he felt the slightest connection, tiniest pull towards you, you were still strangers. 

you were strangers until you knocked into him on the train platform. 

niki had to be selfish. he thinks it could have been fate that he saw you again, but now he’s just left with the lingering regret and feelings. those memories flash past like the train does. they come and go in the blink of an eye- a split second. 

when the train is gone, niki frowns and wonders why he’s standing there. 

he also wonders why it feels like there’s a piece of his heart missing. 

after that, he attends your funeral in his world. it was an open funeral to everyone who wanted to come- classmates, friends, and him. niki didn’t even know you that well, but he get this unexpalaniable urge that he should go- he needs to go. he brings flowers and gets to see you one last time. 

when niki sees the picture of your serene face, he can’t help but get this sense of peace, like everything’s resolved. 

and then he’s free.

epilogue...

you sigh, trudging along the walkway on the way to work. looking at your surroundings, you were getting major deja vu. but at this point, you were used to having episodes like that. 

there were many, many times where some things simply felt so familiar. but it was like your memory was wiped and you couldn’t remember why. some times you had flashes of an adventure, a feeling of mystery, a boy. 

ever since some day in high school, it just happened. and from then on, you’ve always felt like something was missing. or wrong. you can’t tell. it became a part of you, to the point where you almost forgot about it. that feeling of misbelonging, being just out of reach. it’s strange, like a weird occurrence that makes you want to open your third eye or whatever to find out more.

even after graduating, it never left you. 

you being so lost in your thoughts, fail to notice when you bump into someone coming off the train you were about to get onto. 

“i’m sorry,” you quickly apologize, but you soon falter when you meet eyes with sparkling brown ones. weirdly enough, they draw you in. 

they were familiar, you’ve certainly seen them somewhere. the moment lasts for a while, with the two of you standing still in the middle of the passway, staring at each other.  

you slowly smile, extending a hand. “i apologize if i’m mistaken, but have we met before?”

he stares at you too, confused yet enthralled. 

“i-i think you may be mistaken,” he starts hesitantly and you begin to apologize. 

“are you sure?“ you quickly introduce yourself, “and you?”

you swore you were not such a desperate person, but you couldn’t help it, not this time and definitely not in front of this particularly alluring guy.  

“me?”

he takes a quick glance at you before taking your hand with a small smile. 

“my name is nishimura riki.”

first i wanted to say thank you for reading! this was a rough time coming, and i wanted to apologize for the long wait. this has actually been a wip of mine for years and i finally was able to finish it with riki after months and months of writing. this past year has been the worst one so far, but i'm just grateful to still be here. just feeling super appreciative for those who stuck with me and waited patiently. thank you. can't wait to see you guys again soon with the next oneshot (hint hint)!

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PAIRING ▸ Nishimura Riki x fem!reader

SUMMARY ▸"Am I dating Y/N L/N? No thanks, I'd rather choke." Or in which you're clearly using some sort of spell to entice Riki, because why on earth would he suddenly start feeling this way about you?

GENRE ▸one-sided enemies to lovers, highschool au, she fell first but he fell harder, angst (lots of it), slow-ish burn.

WARNINGS ▸ swearing, featuring Eunchae from LeSserafim as your best friend and some additional cameos by other idols, some of dickish behaviour from Riki at the start :(, kissing, mentions of curses, occults knowledge, spells and witchcraft.

WC ▸ 7.1K

A/N ▸ Thank you for the immense support for this on the teaser!! I hope this lives up to your expectations, and I hope you guys enjoy the rest of my work as well :)

PLAYLIST ▸ Voodoo Doll by 5 Seconds of Summer, Kiss Me Kiss Me by 5 Seconds of Summer, Brought the Heat Back by Enhypen, Stockholm Syndrome by One Direction

The air is a sweet smelling summer type, the day you first meet Nishimura Riki. He's a scrawny little thing of twig arms and downcast, shy eyes. Having moved to Korea from Japan only barely a month back, the number of words he can say in this newfound land in the foreign language can be counted on one hand. And this poses a problem to him right now, considering how his older sister had already gone off on her own despite their mother's strict orders to stay together at all times. You spot the boy, a sprightly little thing yourself, and the first thing you notice is his eyes. The most gorgeous, mesmerizing eyes. They looked like the black beetles you saw in the spring - lazing on the dark brown tree trunks, absolutely fascinating and captivating.

Nishimura Riki is six years old and scared. He's at a playground with kids his age, but he feels like an alien in his own skin. They're all either playing in groups or duos - but no dice for singles. It's times like this that makes him want to clutch on to the fabric of his mother's dress and be whisked away to safety. A place where he doesn't feel so out of place. His soft, trembling body stills in a bit of surprise as a gentle tap knocks on his shoulder, ever so slightly. Turning around fearful of being picked on, he only comes face to face with a girl. You're looking straight at him with owlish, unblinking eyes that make Riki shiver in your gaze - feeling smaller and smaller than before. He doesn't like how you're looking at him, not in the slightest. "Hi there! I'm Y/N L/N. Are you new here?" You're quite articulate for a kid, he thinks, as if he's not one himself. He's barely managed to string together the meaning of what you said through his broken understanding of the language, but it's the general environment about you that makes him hesitate. His lack of a response doesn't deter you apparently, as suddenly you're latching on to his wrist, trying to pull him to the sand pit, babbling on and on about being his new friend and offering to show him around town. He doesn't know how to get out of your vice-like grip, but he doesn't mind your company either. But it's just all too much. There's too many things going on around him, and you're too loud.

Suddenly, he's wrenching his hand out of yours, a scowl on his youthful features. It's a frown directed right at you like a bullet, but it leaves you unscathed. You still look at him with a complete look of innocence, completely boring into his own eyes. There's something about the way you look at him, and he hates it. He notices the way you hold no precise expression on your face, only a peaceful and serene look coupled with the way one would gaze when they felt curious and fascinated. He decides at that moment, with all the iron resolve of a six year old boy, that he hated this girl. He hated you and he wanted absolutely nothing to do with you. But this was in no way similar to the way you were feeling currently. With the way that inky void in his eyes were pulling you in like a siren song, you decided that you loved Nishimura Riki. 

11 years later

"Riki! Riki!". Your chants are loud even amongst the bustling crowd of attendees, all mingling about on the bleachers, eyes trained on the orange basketball as the squeaking sound of shoes against the polished wooden floor accentuated the tension of this cut-throat game. Jersey number 9, tallest on the team and jet black hair that had everyone reeling in his subtle aura, Riki's eyes are piercing as his focus solely stays on two things - the first being how to get past the rival team's defense, and the second being how annoying your cheering was to him.

Their opposing team is not letting them cut through this bottle neck tie easily, and the red timer with its robotic, digital numbers clocking down to the game's end was not really helping either. It was right now, or never. And Riki never let a game get to the tie-breaker, ever. He's quick and sharp witted, and he's got the athletic skill to get past the crowding defense team, and with a crisp swish of the white net hanging on the post, the ball is swiftly sent through the basket. The whistle is loud, but the rest of his teammates are louder, wasting no time in running on the court to aggressively another their prodigal player in affection and sweat, with Riki glaring away at them in faux irritation, but clearly preening in their pride. This was an important game after all, because it would be the game that would help team captain, Lee Heesung, who was graduating this spring, to choose the next in line to his legacy. And anyone with two eyes, who wasn't even on the team could easily say it belonged to Riki.

Your voice is back, louder again this time, and it has Riki grimacing amongst the celebrations, and Sunoo and Taki, his friends who had descended from the stands themselves, gave each other a knowing look of what was about to occur.

You're singing praises and it has him glowing, regardless of the frown marrying his sharp features. "God, that was so cool! You're so, so tall, it must have been an advantage for sure, but wow I mean that basket? Crazy!"

He's still glaring at you and his teammates have wry smiles on their faces. Your praises quieten down when you, and Riki, notice Lee Heesung walking over to Riki with a championing grin that only means one thing. Ushering Riki away, you just gazed at him at raw adoration as the boy's face lit up with the news Heesung was breaking him.

"By the way dude, are you dating that girl there? Y/N L/N?"

The question has him coughing slightly from the water he was chugging down. Sunoo and Taki are cackling violently at his expression, like Heesung had performed the most blasphemous act in front of him. "Heesung, what the hell dude. I'm not dating her, at all. I'll only date Y/N when pigs start flying."

He looks back to where you stood before, now gone from that spot. You always waited a bit before you left, usually, trying to catch him and make conversation with him, so this was new. A different kind of feeling he wasn't sure he was used to. It was strange, how he felt a bit different from the absence of you.

"Look, oh my god!" Taki cries out, pointing vaguely at the air. "What?" "I just saw a pig fly." “Shut the fuck up man.”

You were a curse sent from hell to torment him, that much was sure. He wasn’t sure what penance he was due to pay in this life for his previous actions that caused you to appear in his life, considering how since that moment on the playground, you’ve done nothing to actually make his life any better. And while he was explaining this very situation to Heesung, who was now sporting an amused grin at the way the normally nonchalant Riki’s mouth seemed to fly a mile a minute, Sunoo interrupted with a gasp at a particularly harsh tease. “She isn’t even doing anything bad you prick! I’d kill to have someone crush on me that long!” “Oh you can have her then, Sun. I do not want to see her in my life ever again once we’re out of here.” He huffs.

The various examples of the ways you’d managed to make things bad for him seemed to resurface to his mind almost immediately, souring his mood. Like when in middle school, when he bagged the hottest girl of their grade, Choi Ri-ah, to go out with him. It was magical to Riki, that eighth grade relationship - mainly because him being in it meant having you off his back. Your displeasure with his newfound relationship status was not a secret either, no your distaste was very clear, with the way you’d frown when they would walk in the hallways together holding hands, which in eighth grade, was a very big deal. It didn’t help that Ri-ah was also your quote unquote, sworn enemy. The two of you had hated each other's guts since almost preschool, and the sickening punch in the gut was how she’d managed to be with the only guy you’d ever loved. But Riki didn’t know any of that. And frankly, he didn’t care much about his and Ri-ah’s conversations or dates, where he would nod along as she talked his ears off about getting new earrings or the summer holiday her father was planning, where she was going to get the most outrageous tan. Sure, he liked her. But he liked not hearing your voice constantly bugging him more. 

“Dude she didn’t end your relationship with Ri-ah! Ri-ah was already going after another guy from that prep school, she just needed an excuse to end the relationship and made Y/N the scapegoat.” Taki told him exasperatedly, which just fell on deaf ears, because Riki was still convinced that you were the reason for the demise of his juvenile dating plan. Ri-ah had broken up with him seemingly out of the blue, over text, claiming that she felt uncomfortable dating a boy who was so coveted by another girl. And when fourteen year old Riki read that heartbreaking message curled up in his duvet at 10PM on a Tuesday, he just felt a bitter pill of hatred for you. Nothing had changed in the six years since that fateful meeting at the playground, no. You still made Riki shudder.

“I hate Y/N L/N. I wish she just left my life, because she’s what makes it worse.”

“He’s absolutely phenomenal.” You breathe out in a sigh, full of awe as you watch Riki skirt across the court with lightning speed. The dreamy looks and the lovestruck sounds was like routine to Eunchae, who had honestly even given up on rolling her eyes at you, because with the way she’d spent the last 10 years doing the same, she was afraid her eyes would get stuck at the back of the skull due to routine. It was truly a wonder how you hadn’t given up immediately after the first few tries - when he was extremely stubborn in denouncing the “Y/N’s boyfriend” title he’d earned. But you had your justification ready to go - that he never outright rejected you. Sure, he politely declined some invitations, but never a word against your feelings as such. It still raised the question, as to how you could chase a guy around this long. Because to you, the reason was quite fundamental - his eyes were still beautiful, and most importantly, they held no hate. Not an ounce of it, no matter how hard he tried to emulate it, which gave you hope. 

Unfortunately hope was a wonderful thing for sure, but also dangerous. It was quite the cycle you’d found yourself stuck in, and you weren’t honestly sure how long you could afford to linger as nothing but a mandatory footnote to him. It was eating away at you. But hope, hope made you hold on. Only Eunchae knew about the firm decision you’d taken last night. After all, she was your closest friend. And she even held you, as you solemnly promised to yourself, on the eve of the 11th anniversary of the day you first met Riki, to leave him behind forever, if there wasn’t any improvement in his behavior, or general perception of you. It was shocking, and honestly a huge decision. But firm in its promise, that last hook of hope would be gone soon by tomorrow.  “You know he ignored you again, right?” Eunchae points out for the nth time, and like always that doesn’t deter you, as you gaze lovingly upon where the soon-to-be former captain Heesung was talking to Riki about leading the team, a position quite coveted which you were very proud of Riki for acquiring. The pride that swelled in your heart was immense, but the cold words you heard Riki utter were like a small pin-prick on your heart. He was tense from the game, and let’s be honest, you’d always managed to survive the weight of his brash words. But why did this one hurt so much? Were you reaching your breaking point, finally? No wonder you’d tipped and already decided to get over him last night. Snapping yourself out of these negative emotions, you decided to busy yourself a bit away from the bleachers and Heesung and Riki, focusing on Eunchae as she tried to decide where to grab a snack before you both went off to your own houses. 

“I hate Y/N L/N. I wish she just left my life, because she’s what makes it worse.”

The sound of his voice has always been melodious to you. It had a deep timbre and was almost soothing. But right now, you felt anything far from soothed. Your throat was closing up into a lump, and you huffed slightly as you blinked away tears. Eunchae’s eyes were blown wide in shock, and were slowly beginning to narrow in anger. Your movements were almost automatic as your hand reached out to stop Eunchae from storming out from your hiding spots’, the fuming girl looking like she was ready to punch Nishimura across the face immediately. The tears were burning into your lower lash line like furious embarrassment, making you more and more smaller, wishing now more than ever that the ground swallowed you whole. You kept telling yourself over and over again, that this wasn’t the first time you’d heard words of this type uttered against you by him. But it was like a disenchanting spell on you, the way a veil lifted off your eyes. A crack in the rose tinted looking-glass you always stared at him through. 

“Y/N”, Eunchae’s voice is a careful whisper, sensing your vulnerability as your best friend. She knew you long enough to tell that those extremely cruel, mean words did more than just a regular rebound on your thick skin. She was cooling down in an attempt to comfort you, rubbing your arm in support. Your lower lip was wobbling, and you felt like someone had slapped you hard across the cheek. You weren’t that annoying to put up with, were you?

Your heart felt stomped on at that point, and you wanted nothing more than to get away. As shocking as it was, you couldn’t stomach being around Riki right now, and hastily grabbing Eunchae and making a beeline towards the exit, your downtrodden expression morphed to anger as your shoulder harshly bumped against Riki’s, who’s expression you couldn’t tell with the way you could only see red. Your decision was ironclad now, if it wasn’t firm already. This was the moment you’d decided to get over Nishimura Riki. 

The touch of your shoulder against his was like a static current being passed through his skin, in the most pleasant way possible. Like he craved it. Riki was baffled, and even more so when he realized it was you, and your usually ever-present adoration from him being blatantly missing, even in this short interaction, if it even be called that. He felt a twinge of concern for you, which he suppressed easily. This was the Y/N he was talking about. Any emotion for you rather than disgust? No thank you!

However, it was strange. For the first time in your life, you felt almost nothing for Nishimura Riki. And for the first time in his life, he felt something for you. 

It’s been a week since the fateful basketball game. You’ve been through the stages of grief quite quickly, storming through each of them with Eunchae helping you along, although your headstrong need to get better did worry her, that you weren’t actually processing your pain to heal. But to hell with all that. No, you wanted to eviscerate any remaining thought of Riki from your head immediately. The school day seems to be quite regular, with spring break just a mere two weeks away, that had people buzzing with low energy in the hallways, all in the state of deciding their spring break plans. Your spring break plans weren’t anything fancy, or anything at all rather - with the main idea being that you’d while away the time with your best friend, doing all the fun activities you could possibly do. And a break that you were sure would be the final nail in the coffin that contained the corpse of your feelings for Riki, the dark haired boy who up till now kept an iron grip on your heart.

The boy in question, like you, had also spent the previous week raging through some emotions. But in his case, rather he found them very confusing and very out of character. Of course, he wasn’t self actualised enough to work through them, and that led him to create a stubborn mindspace - that you, Y/N L/N were messing with his head by purposely ignoring him. He just couldn’t stop thinking about you, your presence and the recent lack of. Your voice wasn’t greeting him in the homeroom every morning anymore, and it was a change many had noticed, but not yet commented on. He found this pit in his stomach from the first week, the immediate day after the match, when he saw you sitting in class - head bent, hair falling over your face messily. And for a fleeting second, his hand had to fight off the urge to get up and brush them away. Your eyes looked slightly swollen, with a faint bloodshot look, like you’d spent the night crying rather than sleeping. It made his chest ache and his head spin slightly. What the hell? When the hell did he feel sorry for Y/N L/N? When the hell did he feel anything for Y/N L/N?

That was about three days ago, and that same pit in his stomach has been growing ever since. He, for whatever reason, missed you. Instead of coming face to face with this fact, he turned his back on it, and it was killing him. Pinpricks of pain would shoot through him whenever he noticed you deliberately changing your path on noticing him walk towards your way. God, it’s like he was a hostage to your feelings all these years, and automatically he felt guilty of thinking about you that way. You just liked him right? Why was he even so rude to you?

His behavior, and his demeanor didn’t go unnoticed by all of his friends, even the basketball team, who were more than aware of your absence at practice anymore. Whatever you were doing to remove Riki from your life might be working in your favor, but it was ruining him. 

His brain felt like someone was swirling its contents around with a spatula, making a mess of his thoughts and his emotions. He hadn’t wasted a moment in spilling his dilemma to Sunoo, and invariably the guys he was closest to on the basketball team - Jake, Sunghoon, Jay and Heesung. The team itself were all in all pretty much aware of how the youngest was going through quite the mind-boggling series of epiphanies (if it could even be called that. Jay liked to refer to it as just a dumbass waking up from his stupidity sleep). 

“Dude, I just don’t know anymore. Her not being there is very odd to me? I just can’t get used to it.” Riki sighs, shaking his head as he thumbs around his packet of Cheetos, slumping against the cafeteria wall, while the rest of his group gathered around him like a pack, eagerly listening in. “But isn’t that what you wanted? So there must be something else then? Maybe you didn’t mind her as much as you let on?” Jake inquired, his head tilting like a confused puppy. That had Riki scratching his head again. He saw you this morning by your locker. You were catching up with Eunchae, both of you laughing boldly to whatever Eunchae had just said, and there was a glow on your face as your eyes crinkled in amusement, which made a heartbeat skip in his chest. He was staring longingly at you, and it seemed like you noticed, because your eyes met his in scrutiny - your single glance making him feel like that six year old at the playground again. 

When you were in freshman year, you had developed a fascination with reading horror novels and mangas and watching horror movies very frequently. Something about spirits and the occult had interested you very much, and many people around you knew about this hobby of yours. If anyone had any doubts about the intricacies of rituals and possessions, spells and witchcraft, they’d just go to you. Right now, Riki thinks that’s exactly what’s happening to him - you’d used your occult knowledge to put a spell on him. Of course, he knew how ridiculous he sounded. But he felt like he was bound to you, and couldn’t shake off your spell no matter how much he tried. And it was purely on him. This was just all so,so confusing, which he decided not to voice out to his friends until he himself had gotten a grip on what was happening to him. How he kept thinking about your little habits. Day before yesterday, he found himself soaked in sweat and thirsty beyond comparison after practice. Parched and defeated, he stumbled along to the locker room to find his flavored water that one of his teammates usually kept in his locker for him, only to come up empty handed. 

“Jake, have you seen my flavored water? I figured you usually put one in my locker.” He asked nonchalantly, only to find Jake, and the rest of the team that entered the room in a state of sly smiles, stifled giggles and shock. 

“Dude, we never did any of that. Y/N did that, she’d purchase the fancy water for you and put it in your locker before we came for practice.” 

It made him feel different. He was blinking slow, and his brain was sluggish. You did that for him? God, you were so sweet, weren’t you. He already felt a bit sad about not seeing your bright grin that you directed to him in the morning (even though he always dismissed it with ignorance), but this was the cherry on top. You had loved him to death, and now he was a dead man walking without you. 

“He looked at you, you know.” Eunchae is careful in her observation, but she knows you noticed too. Your pupils seem narrowed, and your lips are drawn in a tight line as you contemplate that look he gave you. You still couldn’t fight off the feeling of butterflies in your stomach when you met his eyes - those gorgeous, beetle-black eyes that had a magnetic pull to them. But within the haze of your flusteredness, you’d managed to catch the slight look of misery in them. He was looking at you like he was an injured puppy, lost without you. But your resolve was stronger. With the utmost focus, you managed to drive away the maddening thoughts of the possibility of him missing you away, and walked away with Eunchae. 

Over the weekend, Riki had realized that being away from you was driving him insane. So on Monday, he was pulling his chair close to yours in the classroom, the metallic screech against the wooden flooring making everyone turn their heads to the scene, their eyes widening in shock at what was unfolding in front of their eyes. How on Earth was Nishimura Riki sitting next to Y/N L/N? Your thoughts were also very similar to the rest of your classmates, because what was happening right now? Riki, the boy you’d put your heart dangerously on the line for was right here, sitting next to you. His movements were awkward and he was fiddling with his fingers while casting shy glances towards you, reminding you of the scared six year old version of him you’d met at the playground. There is a faint red crawling up his pale ears, and he clears his throat roughly, before saying “Is it alright if I sit here?”

Your all consuming feelings seemed to come back like a crashing wave on the shore the moment he uttered those words to you, and you just nodded wordlessly, too shocked to say anything. You look too pretty this morning, and it’s messing with his head. Riki’s beating himself up internally, because this wouldn’t be so difficult if you weren’t so goddamn beautiful for some reason. He nods when you do, and then gets to his work. His proximity feels dizzying to you, and the scent of his cologne makes it harder for you to focus on the work in front of you. He’s biting into his lip hard, to suppress the urge to just hold your hand. The smell of your shampoo, the warmth of your thigh being barely centimeters next to you. You’re both so horribly blind and it is just painful to you both, unbeknownst to each of you. 

Nishimura Riki liked you. He really, really liked you. And as he turned his head to see your face, accented by the golden sunlight and eyes sparkling like dewdrops in the early morning, he knew that even if he wanted to run, he couldn't. He was trapped under your spell, and the thought of it made him smile. 

The following days are filled with such odd interactions with Riki. He always found an excuse to find you first in classrooms, or walk you to the cafeteria. You suddenly found yourself back at basketball practices again, but this time forcefully dragged to the court by Riki, and an amused Eunchae in tow. He was there to offer you snacks and drinks from the vending machine. He helped you with homework and you helped him with his. Whatever diabolical game he was playing was working wonders on you, because suddenly all you could see behind your closed eyes was his gorgeous face. 

The rest of the student body isn’t blind to his newfound affection for you. It’s all they’ve been talking about the entire time. His teammates slap his back in teasing jests while he shoos them all away, all the while that smile never leaving his face. 

“There’s no way!” You’re laughing hard, and yours and Riki’s shared giggles are quite audible over the soccer field. You’re both sitting on the grass just after practice, where Riki’s cooling off in the gentle breeze blowing across the grass. He’s telling you about some antics he had put up in class to get away from not turning in assignments, which involved a fake rubber rat and a very scared Calculus teacher. You’re wiping tears from your eyes from the laughter while Riki shakes his head in amusement. The breeze blows a single leaf to land right on top of your head, and it makes you giggle harder. 

He shuffles a bit closer to you, arm raising up to remove the leaf from your head. His breath is warm as it fans across your warming cheeks, the narrowed distance between you both not being lost on either of you. His eyes meet yours, and you’re still a goner for them. He gulps, Adam’s apple bobbing in nervousness, yet he makes no attempt to move away. Instead, he feels a bold surge in him. His finger loops around the bow on your school uniform, tugging the ribbon and invariably, you, forward towards him, making the breath in your throat hitch, and your eyes becoming wide as saucers. His eyes dip to your cupid’s bow, and scan over your lips and how they’re parted. Riki spends not a second more pressing his lips to yours, and you’re in heaven. 

The walk back to your house is full of shy touches, and the warmth of your hand in his. Riki’s lips are still tingling where yours were just moments ago. He can’t even begin to fathom how he ended up here - from loathing you to wanting to kiss you again. He was addicted to you and wanted more of you. But these things needed to be paced, and Riki wanted it done right. Bidding you goodbye in front of your house, where you left him with another giggle-pressed kiss to his cheek and a warm buzz filling his body, he was absolutely enamored by Y/N L/N.

The next day, he wakes up and it’s a good day. It’s a good day because he’s going to ask you out finally. He wanted to pinch himself to make sure he wasn’t dreaming, just because of the implausibility of the situation. There was a brightness surrounding the boy all throughout, a contrast to his regular attitude. Sunoo and Taki had been updated already, and he was planning to tell the team, the rest of his friends during practice, after which he would ask you on a date during your regular after-practice hangouts. Except for the life of him he couldn’t find you, at all. It was unfortunate that today was the day of the announcement of the student council election results, for which classes were mostly halted, since the student council was quite a big deal 

He’s scanning around to find you amongst the crowd of the assembly where the results were to be announced - only to spot you a bit later. Also, he notices that you’re not alone. You’re grinning (a bit too much for his liking, if he's being honest) at Yang Jungwon, the boy who was the sure-shot winner of the President position. You’re too close to him, and it makes his heart clench. He’s biting his tongue until it almost bleeds. He doesn’t get an opportunity to speak to you, as the event commences. He just decides to wait till later, ignoring the pain in his chest he got from seeing you with another guy. 

“The President of this year’s student council is Yang Jungwon.” There’s a smattering of loud applause, and even Riki joins in half-heartedly, still wounded over what he was previously. “The position of Vice President goes to his running mate, Y/N L/N!”. 

He’s still in his place, though his heart bursts with pride and joy for you, his eyes drinking in your excited run up to the stage, shaking hands with the Principal of the school. Your face is broken into the biggest smile ever, and your eyes are shining from pure happiness. Why didn’t you tell him? Why didn’t he know you were going for it? Or that Jungwon was your running mate?”

But all in all he’s very, very happy and proud of you, so he squishes down that ugly feeling of jealousy in him, and focuses on how you somehow look directly right at him. Your smile drops a little when you notice he isn’t clapping, a fact Riki himself didn’t realize, too busy staring in awe at you. It takes Eunchae’s loud hollering in the crowd to break you out of your stupor and your return to your regular state. 

He’s changing out of his practice clothes, feeling a bit down from the events that actually happened today and how he’d expected it to go. He hadn’t been able to catch a moment alone with you after the ceremony, and four of the older members of the team were missing from practice today too, since Jay was the treasurer of the previous session, he had to oversee the handing over of the duties to the newer batch. Practice, because of that, ended up being him, and the benchwarmers and people he didn’t really know all that well. It was something he had to get used to as the new captain, so he figured this would serve as a good preview. He was talking to another benchwarmer of his grade, Junhee, while changing. Junhee wasn’t necessarily a good person, if Riki was honest. He always hung out with the rash crowd and got into fights because of his crass nature. He placed the small box of chocolates he’s managed to quickly buy for you from a store outside school, a sticky note with your name and a congratulation scrawled on it, down on the metallic bench as he gathered up the rest of his things. This doesn’t escape Junhee’s notice, who smirks lazily as he spots the name on the post-it. 

“No way, Nishimura. She did it, huh?”

Riki already doesn’t like the way he refers to you as just someone, and it sets his skin aflame. “Hmm?” he responds half-heartedly, not at all interested in maintaining a conversation with Junhee of all people. “Well, doesn’t it make sense, Nishimura? She’s into that horror shit right? Clearly she’s made a voodoo doll of you and forced you to love her. Manifestation shit, am I right?”

Riki’s blood is boiling as he hears what Junhee is saying, but for some reason he says nothing back. It’s like he’s trapped in this vortex in his mind fueled by the insecurity he felt from seeing you with Jungwon, or how he felt out of the loop about your co-curricular adventure. Staying mum, he just grabbed the chocolate box, and turned around, only to gasp in shock to see you standing right there. Your mouth is twisted downwards in disappointment, and you’re staring at him with absolute loathing in your eyes right now. He rushed forward towards you, ready to explain, and also wanting desperately to punch the snickering Junhee behind him, who was now slinking away from the scene. 

It feels like there is a knife in your back and twisting itself in your flesh all over again. There is a panic rising in your throat, suffocating you overwhelmingly. It’s jarring and mind-boggling. So before Riki gets to you, you run.

Eunchae is gathering you up in her arms as your inconsolable state renders you helpless, slumping on the floor of your bedroom, finding it harder to breathe as the sadness keeps washing over you in painful crashes, making you feel weaker and weaker as the time goes. 

“Why does he hate me, Eun? He kissed me, didn’t he? So why is he so cruel?”

The six boys in Riki’s room are trying their best with damage control, as they all had rushed over to his house when Riki had texted them in a panic and explained what had gone down. “But why didn’t you defend yourself in front of Junhee in the first place man?”, Taki asks frustratedly, tugging at his hair. Riki frowns, trying to ignore the flashes in his head of your heartbroken face while his chest aches. “I kept thinking about her and Jungwon. I treated her terribly before all this, didn’t I? I just kept thinking how she might like Jungwon now.” His eyes are downcast in sadness, and his voice is broken. Pulling up a chair right in front of Riki, Heesung plops down and holds Riki up by the shoulders, squaring him up. “Riki. Go. Go right now and apologize, before you lose her even more.” Riki is crying harder now, and wiping his tears, he breaks and finally tells them. “I don’t think I want to be without her, Heesung. I want her love, no matter if it drives me to my end.”

Riki sees how Eunchae slipped out of your house to walk towards the supermarket, no doubt to get you both some consolation food. He takes this moment to approach your front door, knocking furiously in nervousness and apprehension. It’s now or never. 

You open the door, assuming it’s Eunchae who left something behind before she left, so seeing Riki - messy hair, lips bitten to the extreme and bloodshot eyes standing on your front porch knocked the wind out of your lungs. Ready to slam the door on his face, his long hand stops you from doing so, pleading “Y/N please, please just listen to me. It wasn’t how it happened. I didn’t agree with Junhee at all. I like you, Y/N L/N, like it’s breathing. Being away from you makes me lose my mind, and I know I haven’t been the best to you in the past. But please, Y/N. I need you to give me a chance. I need you.”

There’s warm tears flowing down your face, and even in this state Riki thinks you’re beautiful. The porch light shines on your face and you look angelic. He hopes it showed in your mercy as well.

“Why didn’t you disagree?” you sniffle, sweater paws raising up to wipe away some of the tears on your face. The dejected tone with which you ask him makes him feel a deep tug in his heart, aching and sad. “I felt. Jealous. And angry, that Jungwon was so close to you, and that you hadn’t told me about being his running mate. And I know that doesn’t excuse my actions. I just felt, I don’t know. Out of the loop.”

“I wanted to surprise you with the vice president's news.” You mumbled, head down. Riki hesitantly moved toward you, and slowly patting your head, he said “I was surprised, baby, and so, so proud of you. I felt so proud of my girl up there.” He says hoarsely, hoping that his sincerity is as evident as much as he feels it. 

The breath gets knocked out as he groans through his mouth with the impact of your crushing hug. You have your face burrow into his chest, crying softly but also laughing slightly, wetting his shirt. He doesn’t spare a moment to wrap his arms around you tightly, fearing that letting go would mean that he’d lose you again. He sniffs in the soothing and familiar scent of your shampoo and mumbles into your hair, “I don’t know what spell you’ve casted on me, Y/N L/N. But I want to be under it forever.”

The sunlight, Riki thinks, just manages to make you so beautiful that it makes Riki speechless every single time. A lot has changed since the playground and the years after that. And a lot more changed within the last year too. You and Riki are midway through your senior year now. He was sad when he had to bid farewell to the older members of the basketball team, who were practically like brothers to him now. You continued your duties as vice president, though the shared activities you had with Jungwon, still a sore spot for Riki, made him pout adorably, which you always kissed away with a laugh. Riki was the basketball captain now, which added new responsibilities to his shoulder, which he carried excellently. The evidence of which was the recent basketball game that he’d just won with the team. The pep rally, and most of the team was still loitering around the court (Junhee was out. It was one of the first things Riki did as captain, in fact). Riki had sneaked you out to that fateful soccer field where you both had first kissed, and a beautiful sense of deja vu hit him as he looked at you in wonder - how you’d managed to put up with all of him was still a mystery to the boy. But, when you looked to meet his eyes - those dazzling, black eyes that glittered under the setting sun, you both realized - you were both enchanted by each other.

WITH ONE FINAL STATEMENT, YOU WERE HIS

Zhongli x Fem!Reader 4.7K words Content Warning: Implied Smut, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Platonic!Guizhong & Morax, Xiao lmao, Mentions of the Archon war, Mute Traveler, Reader has an Adeptus name, My horrible gramma

Summary(?): So, I decided to make an alt genshin account and through inspiration of the Liyue archon quest- this takes place during the rite of parting, in which Zhongli sends the traveler to collect the Cleansing Bell from an old friend. And Soon relives his memory with said old friend.

Further: I gave more lore to the cleansing bell, I couldn't find much information about it in game but if anything is wrong or not culturally correct, let me know and Im more then happy to change it. For purposes I'll be using Aether as a placeholder for the traveler.

Zhongli, up until this point, had been quite hands on with the ongoing preparation of the upcoming Rite of Parting, its the reason why both Aether and Paimon had been so taken aback by the mans sudden hesitance to continue with the proceedings.

Instead of approaching head on and indulging a bargain before realizing he'd forgotten his mora once again- as he'd done before, this time, Zhongli had sent the two on their way to meet with what he'd proclaimed to be 'an old friend', alone.

A Bell, he'd mentioned- they were meant to be collecting a bell, a bell that for some reason required a trip all the way to the Wangshu inn.

Paimon had been quick to mention her suspicions to Aether on their travels there, that she really thought Mr. Zhongli just wasn't willing to make the trip.

But on arrival at the inn, and in meeting with said person, that suspicion was quickly thrown out the window, in which a new theory was set in place. Zhongli was undoubtedly terrified of this woman.

A beaming yet soothing laugh sounded the balcony of the inn as the information was relayed to the unknown woman, your eyes alight with mischief at the duos words and it was slowly becoming clearer why Zhongli was so weary to meet with you.

“Oh so it was Zhongli who sent you, hm? He’s quite the bossy one isn't he.” Your expression fluttered with a glint of something quite fond, and then to one of humor. You were definitely someone to be reckoned with, that was clear from your embellished outfit to your stunning features and well tended hair. It wasn't until Aether had glanced down to the vision attached to your clothes that he found himself ogling a little.

"Well, by the mention of his name, I'd guess it was about time I was to give up my possession of the cleansing bell." Your expression seemed to drop just slightly, a saddened yet longingly content gaze capturing your face. "I assume thats what you're here for?"

Aether's head nodded as the words left your mouth, to which you found yourself sighing. The sound was bittersweet but quickly swept away by the soft wind that brushed against the 3rd floor of the inn. It seemed the wind mourned with you too.

"This bell hold's great significance to the development of Liyue. I think more importantly It holds great significance to me." You seemed to suddenly be lost in the memory of your experiences, eyes boring straight through the traveller and his companion as you spoke. "Were you aware that this bell has been through countless generations? No? This little piece of metal has seen the prospects of war and felt the elation of peace more then any other person in Liyue has. Its older then the building we stand on."

"Wow, is everyone in Liyue as oddly knowledgeable as Zhongli and yourself? You both seem to love talking about the history of Liyue.” Paimon suddenly interjected.

“Knowledgeable is one way of putting it. I guess i just take interest in the historical arts.” Your tone had once again shifted, this time taking on the mischievous ring it held before. Aether once again shifted his eyes to his traveling companion, who seemed as equally taken aback by the lady before them. You were a roller coaster of topics and Paimon was beginning to become overwhelmed by the atmosphere. Zhongli was odd enough but you were making it a lot harder to keep up.

“Can we just get the Bell already! What are you even doing at the Wangshu inn anyways?! You knew the bell was needed for the Rite yet here you are, chatting away!”

The way Paimon had quickly become overwhelmed had humored you, and you found yourself chuckling at her nature. "My reason for being here is quite simple- I'm here visiting a friend. The rite is precisely why I chose to be here in the first place. Lets just say, this friend isn't taking too kindly to the news of our late archons passing."

"Fine." Paimon huffed, "Fair enough." and with an extended hand she grunted, "The bell."

Your eyes dropped to the little fairy's extended hand for a moment, a smile gracing your features at her attitude. “How about this," You bid. "I give you the Bell and in exchange you deliver a message to Zhongli for me. Tell him to put his pride aside and visit an old friend would he?”

Paimons face was practically red at this point, stomping childishly at the demand. She was quickly become fed up with your roundabout attitude. “You're seriously gonna make us set up a date for you and Zhongli to hang out in exchange for the Bell!? We’re not match makers you know!”

To which your laugh sounded loud over the balcony, her words amusing you as the realization dawned on you. This little thing is a little slow isn't she. “Oh sweet thing believe me, I wouldn’t need to set up a meeting with Zhongli through mutuals. Lets just say, Zhongli and I meet quite frequently. No, this friend is someone far more special then I, and unfortunately someone that’s quite hard to get through to. I tried to calm him today but it seems like the only person who can truly set his mind at ease is Zhongli himself.”

“You meet with Zhongli quite… frequently? Then deliver the message yourself!" Paimons anger was finally getting to her, a feat which Aether had picked up. You'd noticed that throughout the conversation the boy had been silently laughing to himself, finally taking a step in with a chuckle to lay a deterrent hand on Paimon's back, to which she sighed "Fine. we’ll deliver the message.”

“Exceptional." You declared. The two watched as you wandered off for a moment before returning with a well ornamented bell, shaded a black and golden ombre. It was a beautiful peace of art that was carefully handed off to Aether with a gentle hand. "Then you best be on your way. Be sure to send off my message and do take care of the bell. Like I mentioned, it holds great significance to me.”

The few days following the encounter with the strange woman, the traveller and his companion had experienced what could only be described as true chaos, but after a long and tiresome battle, and the astonishing news that the man they'd been helping was the Geo Archon himself, the two finally found themselves reveling in the settling peace of the city.

The current ambience was that of content, and the people seemed to be a little less tense now that the Rite of Parting had came and passed. The city had found its most still moment in weeks and the traveller found that atmosphere to be something to soak in. That was until a high pitched screech disturbed said serenity.

Aether's eyes widened as he turned to glance at his companion, who was suddenly seething through her teeth at something in front of her.

"That-! That-! Oooh!" Glancing off towards where Paimon was looking, it was then Aether noticed two distinguishable figures walking side by side through the undisturbed harbor- the man they now recognized as the former Geo Archon, and the strange but pretty woman in which they'd briefly encountered at Wangshu inn.

The boys mind couldn't help but wander to a state of intrigue, curious as to how the two knew each other, let alone enough to be enjoying a quite personal stroll around the harbor, but ultimately decided to let the curiosity fizzle and allow the two peace away from disturbance. All until Paimon's seething little figure dashed straight past him and towards the two conversing figures.

At this, Aether was quick on his feet, following his little friend with wide eyes.

“‘The friend I refer to is not myself,’ Paimon's ass! You did just want us to set up a date for Zhongli and yourself!”

Paimon came to a stop in front of the two, Zhongli's eyes darting towards the two with his usual carefree pleased smile, while you, on the other hand, seemed a little more peeved by the interruption.

“Oh Traveller, Paimon, a pleasant surprise indeed.” Zhongli's voice was as smooth as silk, no different from his usual charms. Notably, Zhongli had purposefully disregarded Paimons anger, probably aware that she was less then happy with the both of them at the moment.

"First, you," She pointed an accusatory finger towards Zhongli, "Make us run all over Liyue for your own funeral. Not even dead may Paimon add. And then you-!" This time her finger was directed towards you. "You lied to us! You really were making us play matchmaker!"

Paimon ended her statement with crossed arms and creased brows, to which Aether stood close behind rubbing the back of his head with an apologetic smile towards the two.

At this, you laugh, smiling towards Paimon with what she regarded to be a usual charm for you. “No little one, I really did mean it when I said that Zhongli and I met quite often. The message truly was for the benefit of a friend.”

“Correct," Zhongli interjected with a smile. "I visited Xiao at the request of Y/n here, It seemed she was right, he really did need the company. This current walk is unrelated to your previous conversation.”

“What, so you two are just taking a 'friendly walk’ around Liyue for the hell of it?”

At this, the two smiled at each other with glinting eyes.

It was silent for a moment as Paimon digested the information presented to her and it was then she finally came to her conclusion. These two truly were odd. But on further thought, Paimon thought about how odd you seemed. You were friends with an Adeptus, nae- a Yaksha for that, close enough to be contacting him without issue at Wangshu Inn, now walking around Liyue with the former Geo Archon, and more importantly- you were the one in possession of the Cleansing Bell- an extremely ancient and sacred piece of Liyue's history. Who were you?

“Okay, but by ‘meeting’ Paimon hadn't imagined you meant nice little evening strolls! She thought you meant business meetings! For work! If Paimon wern't mistaken paimon would think you two were dating!”

“Dating?" Zhonglis voice was humorous as he chuckled towards the girl. "Well I sure’d hope so, considering we’re married and all.”

A silence befell the four, both Zhongli and yourself smiling with content and mischief, and the latter two both staring along with wide eyes and dropped jaws.

“Married!?….” Paimons gaze towards Zhongli was as sharp as knives. "So you're telling me you both are married?! And neither of you thought to tell either of us?!" Paimon thought about it for a moment before her eyes went wide at a thought that graced her, and with a small voice she whispered to Zhongli. "D-Does she know?!"

Zhonglis eyes glanced down, a knowing look plastered his face and a smile gracing his soft features. “Paimon, Traveller, I'd told you the cleansing bell was an important part of Liyues Adepti parting traditions but had I ever told you the story and the significance of the Cleansing Bell?”

At this, the two shake their heads.

“Well, the bell is quite a special sentiment in the history of Liyue.

In ancient times, specifically times of the Archon war, the bell was notoriously known to only be given to those in which Rex Lapis himself held a great amount of trust in. It was used as a means to cleanse the mortal realm, and with such power, came the need for a trusted individual to guard it.

"You can't hold possession of that thing forever." Ghuizhong's voice was light against the still air of Guili Plains, the two walking side by side on their way towards a town not too far from the main city. There was a war coming, and in turn business to be done.

"It can't be trusted on anyone else. It's too important. It holds the power to cleanse the mortal realm, and in the wrong hands... well."

"The wrong hands?" Guizhong chuckled in dismay. "You have people you can trust with your life, but no one you can trust with that little bell?"

"It's... significant to me."

Morax's tone was final and at this Guizhong looked sideways, eyeing the expression of the man beside her as they walked. He seemed tense, jaw clenched and eyes glowing a slight golden color. She realized that maybe he'd had an experience before hand, a negative one that lead to the betrayal of trust and maybe even the loss of a life.

That was the moment Guizhong realized that the bell truly wasn't just a bell, at least not to Rex Lapis, and maybe pressing on it wasn't intelligent. She was Rex Lapis' advisor, which meant she knew his temperament and his boundaries. This definitely seemed like one.

Though what wasn't a boundary...

"Alright... But who's to say you can't find someone. You and Acestia seem close."

"Guizhong, stop that." For the first time on this short trip, Guizhong truly laughed.

"What? Just pointing out a fact."

"I don't want to hear this again. You're delusional and quite annoying."

Once again she laughed.

"Guizhong please, I won't hesitate to leave you here."

Rex lapis held the bell in his position for hundreds of years, never trusting anyone enough to hand off the possession to guard. Sure he had people he loved- trusted in battle- trusted with his life. But the bell wasn't just a matter of spears and willpower. It was a matter of serenity and eternal peace. Morax's polearm clashed against that of your own, grunts sounding as you spun around, gliding your weapon against the handle of his own until it fell free from his lock and ready for you to charge again. Morax grinned at your efforts, proud of the way you'd freed yourself from a dire situation without hesitation.

"Good job, smart and quick, don't let yourself be cornered." He commented.

Finally he let off, letting his pole arm hang low as indication that he was pleased with your work for today. "This is a war Acestia, you may be a Yaksha so you may be one of the strongest, but anything goes in war. You must be ready."

With a swift nod, you bowed your head low in respect and smiled. "I understand, and I appreciate the sentiment Lord Geo."

Morax stood for a second, arms low by his side, pole arm firmly between his hand, upper body on full display as he stared down at your bowing form. His hood had fallen during the sparring match you both had indulged in and sweat gleamed his body as a result. You stood quietly, awaiting a dismissal but it never came.

It took a moment, but finally he spoke. "Acestia. What is it you're fighting for?"

Without a moment between, you spoke firmly. "You, Rex Lapis."

"No." His voice was firm, purposeful. And for that your head snapped up, polearm drooping besides you as you glanced on in confusion. Morax looked upon your furrowed eyebrows and noticed how innocently pretty you looked in that moment. Hm. Then he clarified. "What is it you're fighting for."

You let the question digest for a moment, blinking up at the archon with doe eyes as you thought about the answer. What were you fighting for? It took a moment to find your voice, but soon you'd straitened, your illustrious outfit shifting with your bold movements.

"Me? Well, I guess I'm fighting for peace- fighting for an era of serenity. For prosperity and safety to all whom inhabit this land.” Morax observed the sudden glint in your eye as the words escaped your mouth, a response he’d noticed had been pondered upon for quite some time. “I don't want the people I protect to suffer anymore. When I made a contract with you, I made a contract with Liyue- No, a promise. To protect this land and bring tranquillity to this generation, and every generation to come. I do fight for you Rex Lapis, because I fight for Liyue."

Rex Lapis seemed surprised… yet content at your words. It was a response he hadn’t been expecting, but a response he was satisfied with nonetheless. It was the moment he’d realised you’d truely come a long way from the cowering soul he’d found, to one of his most prized Yaksha.

The moment of stillness kept you on your toes, ciphering his expression with a clouded mind, pondering the idea that maybe you’d been just a little bit too passionate in your response. But he finally nodded in approval, and turned his head to the side, indicating that you were dismissed and free to leave as you pleased. Taking the signal, with a shallow bow and your polearm firmly between your fingers, you turned in your spot and made your way over towards Alatus, who had been waiting silently for the sparring match between you and your god to end.

Morax’s eyes followed you as you approached your fellow Yaksha, observing as you smiled wide towards him and initiated a cheerful conversation, in which Alatus had nodded and sent an attentive smile as indication that he acknowledged your words, before bowing in respect towards Rex Lapis, a bow in which Morax swiftly returned. Finally you two both pivoted, Alatus leading the both of you towards the rest of the Yaksha all conversing just a lengths away.

Morax watched as you approached the group, slowly descending to sit on the grass besides Alatus and Bonanus, being swayed into a laugh by something Bosacius had boast about. It was in that moment Morax’s morale felt almost swayed for just a moment. There you were, spouting all the exact words he’d been waiting to hear for decades, slowly tempting him to trust you through your inspiring willpower and heartening morality.

Suddenly, his mind had come to from his thoughts for a moment, and it was only then he’d realised his hand had seemingly subconsciously made its way towards the bell, caressing the material as he watched you interact with your friends. You were starting to become a reoccurring theme in his life- and with this, he turned from his position and made his way off the grass field -And he wasn’t sure if he was too apposed to the idea either.

It was to be guarded by someone Rex Lapis trusted not with his life but with his nation, and that a person he'd never found. That was until an old comrade of his suddenly wasn’t much of a comrade anymore. The war had been raging for so long, he'd hardly remembered the date anymore. A sea of red mirages the landscape of Liyue, rocks carved by his own fingers stained with the blood of his enemies. Rex Lapis heaves a breath as he finds the strength to pull his polearm out of the chest of whichever poor soul had challenged him with intent, finally finding a moment to take a look at his fellow comrades- his Yaksha's fighting beside him.

There he'd find his people, eyes glancing over each one of his 6 Yaksha's- first was Bosacius, releasing an array of attacks upon enemy immortals. Then he'd noticed Bonanus and Indaris fighting side by side, soon was Menogias swiftly dodging a sharp attack and then Alatus plowing though enemies with his jade spear gleaming.

Finally his eyes glanced towards her. You. Vision gleaming and skin coated with a layer of sweat as you swung your spear out of one enemy and straight into another, finally clearing the last of them in your immediate surrounding area. At the moment of calm, you found a second to collect yourself, wiping the splatter of blood that had landed upon your face. It was a deep blue color, unlike the blood you'd been expecting to see and it took a moment to remember that these enemies weren't human. They were just like you.

It was almost as if, the madness of it all had fully consumed you for just a moment, the madness of the war, the fighting, the idea of killing adepti just like yourself. that was until you felt the gleaming gaze boring into the side of your body. In a split moment your eyes had snapped up, making direct eye contact with the man you were here to protect, your god, your diety, your purpose. And everything seemed to snap into place all of a sudden.

Rex Lapis' eyes found yours, and he'd almost let the shock he felt at how tormented your face looked for a moment consume him, if he hadn't taken complete notice of the way his heart fluttered when you looked at him instead. It was as if he was enraptured by you, in that moment all he could see was you.

The screaming of adepti, the weight of his pole arm, the blood on your face, on your clothes, on your hands - he was blind to it all, all except you. Archons, how hadn't he noticed you before, you were absolutely breathtaking and he was stupid for not seeing it before. For the first time he supposed, Guizhong was right.

In that moment, he'd realized that he might have found something he'd finally want to pursue that wasn't bloodshed, maybe he'd play his cards right and try his luck with you. You who's eyes were gleaming at him with wonder. You, who stood drenched in the blood of his enemies, protecting him and his nation. You, who suddenly raised your spear above your shoulder with murderous intent and launched it forward with as much force pummeling straight towards him.

What?!

Morax's eyes finally fleet from your glowing form and followed as the spear suddenly blew straight past and into the chest of a man beside him, watching as he dropped to the ground along with a sword that clattered before him. He stared for a moment before glancing back up to you suddenly before him, hands running down his shirtless figure and along his golden arms searching for any wounds.

The other yaksha's had taken note of the situation and were currently making their way towards the two of you in extreme worry for their god. In the meantime you were doting over him with an extremely worried expression yourself, sputtering words of fear for his health and berating him for not being more aware of his surroundings, yet all he could focus on was the lingering touch of your hands against his body and how amazing the reaction his body gave felt. Oh yeah, Guizhong was definitely right. And he was gonna be trying his luck with you.

Someone he'd fought alongside, someone he'd christened a warrior - a yaksha - with his own two hands, someone he'd renamed and given a new life to suddenly wasn't just a loyal worshipper anymore.

"No longer are you to be commanded by demons, from now on you are a vigilant Yaksha fighting for the protection of Liyue. You are, Acestia."

As the man bestowed your new name upon you, you couldn't help but gaze up into his breathtaking features with wonder, eyes gleaming in wander as your body knelt before your new god, the man that had saved you from your nightmare, pulled you from the grasps of demons who'd had a rule over you for years.

And with one final statement, you were his. "Yes Rex Lapis."

He'd seen her for more then what she was with hands stained of blood.

You eyes opened in a start, breath heaving and head spinning at the sudden awareness. You honestly hadn't a clue how you'd gotten here.

Though you'd noticed you weren't in any immediate danger - being nestled comfortably in the hideout Liyues warriors were using as shelter for the time being, something within you told you to panic. 

Breathing was becoming harder a task, more a chore, and your eyes were welling with unwilling tears that began to leak down your face. Your hands lifted earnestly to swipe the rogue tears away all until your pupils made contact with the thick golden liquid staining your hands from your palms to the tips of your fingers. 

In a moment of hysteria, a morbid shriek escaped your mouth, thrashing your hands away at your sides in a dire attempt to wipe the adepti blood from your hands. To no avail. Each time you brought your hands back up to your eyeline it seemed like there was more blood then the last. Your crying was becoming heavier, cries for help becoming louder and it wasn't until an arm grabbed your own that you realized there was someone besides you.

Turning to look at the culprit, Rex Lapis stood besides you in a worried daze, eyes searching every inch of your body as you cried in hysterics, begging for relief from the bloodied mess before you.

"Acestia! Acestia! Are you okay?! Please Acestia talk to me." 

It seemed he'd been screaming at you for quite some time- if the slight fade in of his voice was any indication to you. Slowly blinking up at him, your tears began to slow. "M-My hands.... What have I done."

Looking down upon your trembling hands held up to your face, Rex Lapis furrowed his brows in confusion. "Acestia, I-... I don't understand."

"They're stained with blood. Who've I hurt this time?"

"Acestia, dear- your hands are..." It took a moment for Morax to find his words. "Your hands are clean. You haven't hurt anyone."

But his words were of no comfort to you, instead you looked down, head hanging as your tears fell to the floor instead. "I'm a murderer. My own people. Slaughtered by my own hands."

"Acestia this is war, I don't know what outcome you expect-"

"No!" You'd never raised your voice like that to your god, yet in your hysterics you didn't seem to care. Neither did he. He just wanted you safe and calm again.

"Not the war! Before... I- I hurt people. I hurt Adepti. I-I'm a monster."

Finally it had dawned on him. The hysterics, the 'blood', the duty you felt to him and this nation. You were haunted by a past that was never yours to decide on. A pawn you were to demons, and in turn those demons haunt you as a knight.

"Never." He'd whispered, suddenly your hands, your bloodied and stained hands had been clenched between two, much bigger. But unlike you'd expected, the blood didn't smear, the blood hadn't transferred onto Morax's hands and stained his as well. No, instead  they'd stayed dry and as he leant back to expose your hands to you once more, the blood on your own had dissipated too. Like it was never there- because it was never there. 

"You can never be a monster for something you didn't choose. You survived a previous life and you've repented for your sins a million times over with every slash of your polearm you've sent to protect this nation." 

The words that escaped the Archons mouth had your own hanging wide open. This man, your god was vouching for you - too you. He was singing your praise and holding your hands as he'd done it.

Your god was worshipping you. 

It was almost too good to be true, almost a dream come to life and you would have believed it was if it wasn't for the sudden proximity Morax had gained on you. He was so close all of a sudden, hood down leaving nothing on his upper body but the connecting cloth over his shoulders leading into his long robe behind him. 

"I know you don't believe me. But what better forgiveness then the forgiveness of your god?" And with not a moment to spare he'd leant forward to catch your lips in what would be the first kiss of millions to come. 

She wasn't just his yaksha anymore but was soon becoming his angel. Only then, when the tides had changed, when the war stopped and harmony soon fall upon Liyue, only when his Yaksha had become his lover, for the first time had he entrusted the bell to someone else.

"I-... I want you to be the new keepsake of the Cleansing Bell."

Suddenly his hands which lay upon your body felt like ice as he spoke. The man lay besides you, lips pressed against the top of your head as he spoke his words quietly and meekly- very unlike Morax indeed.

"What was that?"

"Dont pretend you didn't hear me..." His eyes finally glanced down, your own head creasing up to look at him besides you, his bare body against your own bare body. "I meant it. I trust you with it."

"But Morax, you haven't trusted a soul with it in over 1000 years, why m-"

"Don't you dare question why it would be you while I lay naked besides you." His words were light hearted and humorous, a tone which you couldn't help but smile at. He truly was the most perfect person to you. "This bell isn't just a keepsake. Its a promise- I... I want to be besides you for the rest of your life, and I truly do mean that. You've been with me through hundreds of years of turmoil and war and now my nation has finally found the peace It was seeking. And I... Ive found it too."

You were silent listening to the Archon speak. Through years of trust building, comradeship, friendship and now relationship, he'd always managed to flip the tables and worship you with his words instead. Though this seemed different, this seemed... Life long... Eternal.

"Please say you'll take it. Please say you'll take me too."

And with one final statement, you were his. "Yes, Rex Lapis."

Someone who had still held that bell up until the… passing of said archon.”

“So, the bell was like… a symbol of unity?” Paimons eyes gazed upon Zhongli in wonder, seemingly entranced by the long lineage of love between the former Archon and the former Yaksha.

Finally, Zhongli smiled widely, “In the same way mortals exchange vows and rings, Rex Lapis passed off the Cleansing Bell to her all those years ago. Though as times changed and Rex Lapis... I, made the decision to denounce my archon title, I also thought it fitting to instead follow mortal traditions as well- so, now we pass off the cleansing bell to the Exuvia - Rex Lapis’ old form. And in this new mortal one we exchange rings instead.” And as the story came to a close, the couple extended their hands forward to showcase two equally shiny Cor Lapis ring upon each ring finger.

BEST FRIEND'S BROTHER.

NRKㅤ✶ ㅤ (⠀femreader⠀) . . . established relationship, suicide jokes, yn never changed his contact name poor riki, kinda corny soz, on the fifth slide it's supposed to say i'll tell my mom on her i forgot to type out tell bye.

synopsis: riki knows you better than anyone else. includes: bridgerton au (barely), a little women reference, confessions of love, pre-marital kissing (the scandal!), gross old men, arranged marriage notes: @hoes4hoseok i hope you enjoy my timothee chalamification of riki, this one's for you girl🩷

there’s a thin line between love and friendship. your mother says she was friends with your father before she ever learned to love him, never in the way the poets rave, but in a way that made her life easier. in her words, “a love match is as rare as a diamond, dear. you shouldn’t hold out hope of one should it ruin your debut.”

it’s a shame, you think, that you can love someone so deeply and yet there’s no guarantee they’ll share the sentiment, nor a chance to see if what you feel is dwindling infatuation or true unyielding devotion. it’s improper to explore your options, greedy to want more than expected, and childish to yearn for love. yet you do.

your debut season approaches fast, and with it, the heavy promise of your hand to baron mortimer weighs your heart down like an anchor keeping you from daydreaming of the things you had read and researched about love.  he’s wealthy, titled, and twice your age. he would give your family a more comfortable life, save you from the shame of becoming a spinster if you do not find another suitable match your first season, and seems to be respectable enough despite his intent to marry you, a soon-to-be debutante he set his eyes upon years ago. it’s unnerving, but your mother speaks of him without disdain, so you keep your anxieties about his character at bay.

unfortunately, your dearest friend plagues your mind just so. riki’s return from oxford approaches with the same swiftness as your debut. you dread the idea of no longer having the liberty to write to him or paint him when he’s a willing muse, as it would be improper to do so while promised to another. for that reason you have yet to write to him since your last letter a week ago, where in it you bid him the gentlest farewell you could to help ease the ache in your heart.

you aren’t sure if he even received it, as he has not written back, but you suppose it’s for the best.

at least you believe that until he’s before you with unkempt hair and a haunted look in his tormented gaze. 

“tell me it is not true.” he says, chest rising and falling as if he had run from oxford to mayfair on foot, though perhaps he had been traveling by carriage since he received the letter clutched between his fingers. “tell me you are not marrying that man.”

you are unsure of how to respond, your lips parting hut no words leaving them. you turn toward your ladies maid, who blinks wildly as she receives the message, placing your hairpin down and hastening out of the room past the viscount’s son. the door clicks and yet his gaze remains unyielding, you finally speak, “you are back early, mr nishimura.”

riki had always been exceedingly easy to read, only to you, he used to pout. this moment is no different, and you can see how hard it is for him to wrap his head around his title leaving your lips instead of his name, but he recovers enough to repeat himself, “tell me.”

you place a hand on your stomach, squeezed by a corset that you suspect is why you can’t seem to catch your breath, “i will not lie to you.”

his brows furrow, his teeth peeking from his plump lips as they part in disgust and frustration, “he is old.”

“yes, i am aware of lord mortimer’s age.” you say with a similar frustration on your tongue that is heavily withheld by your propriety, “my mother saw it pertinent i educate myself before our marriage.”

“you cannot marry him.” riki says, and the frustration in your blood blooms into something more, something worse.

“that is not your decision to make.” you state, mindlessly flattening invisible wrinkles in your dress as he takes a step closer, only for you to fortify the distance with one of your own in the same direction, “not any more than it is mine.”

“you…” he loses his words as his hand clenches and releases at his side like he longs to reach for you, “you do not want this.”

“what i want does not matter to my parents anymore than it should to you,” you state, attempting to tuck the loose strand of hair that your ladies maid hadn’t the time to fit into your updo behind your ear, only for it to fall right back into place against your cheekbone, “lord mortimer is wealthy, he will give me a comfortable life.”

“do you not deserve a happy one?” riki asks, and you feel the cracks in your chest widen. instinctively, you fight the tremble of your chin and the tug in your brow as tears attempt to fit through the open crevice of your act.

“no, don’t—“ you shake your eyes, turning away from him as your arms drop to your sides, “don’t do that. i have accepted my future, i do not need you planting doubts in my mind.”

“what use would planting them do when i can see they’ve already taken root far before i arrived here?” you overlook the step he takes, nor how large his stride is. he only takes one yet it makes all the difference, as he feels infinitely closer than before. just as you feared he would.

“stop it.” you say, masked inside a heavy exhale, yet a plea all the same. “you should be visiting with your sisters, i’m sure they missed you dearly—“

“don’t marry him.” he says, and you finally look at him.

“what?” you ask despite knowing exactly what he said, you want to hear him say it again to make sure it wasn’t in your head.

he shakes his head, taking another step closer, “don’t marry him.”

“you…” he doesn't have to explain what he means, your childish hopes of love that you’d hidden so deep in your conscience do so for him. your heart sings as his eyes flick between your own and then down the bridge of your nose and lower, but your mind refuses to bend as your heart does. you shake your head, shuffling back to salvage whatever distance you can, “no.”

“yes.” he responds in kind, dropping the letter and closing the distance between the two of you to grab your hands. his next words are paired with the act of him flattening your palm against his chest, keeping it there while he grasps the other in his much larger hand, “you can’t marry him.”

“you are being cruel.” you try to pull away, but his grip is firm and you know that if you meet his gaze you won’t be able to fight it anymore.

there’s a sickening silence as his thumb draws shapes on the back of your hand, you can feel his heartbeat. it’s strong, and its pace only feeds your own heart wanton promises of devotion you had only ever been told were too rare to expect in your lifetime, “tell me you do not want me.”

the suddenness of his demand lowers your guard for just long enough for your heart to find the upper ground and force your eyes into his sights, he repeats himself, “tell me you do not want me and i will leave you to marry lord mortimer.” his words are punctuated by the hand not holding yours to his heart grasping the side of your jaw, his thumb moving against your warmed cheek, “tell me and i will never speak to you again, just as you requested in your letter. you will never have to see me and i won’t—“

“i don’t want that.” the words leave your lips without warning, but it’s too late to take them back by the time they reach his ears. you shake your head, “i don’t—i don’t want to marry, i want to paint and read and—“

he listens as your supposed acceptance crumbles beneath his gaze, chest heaving under your palm. “—i want to do all of those things with you, i do. the baron has my parents under his wretched thumb and i cannot bear it, i cannot—“ a sharp inhale rakes your body, a mix of a sob and a desperate but fruitless attempt to regain composure, “i don’t want you to go away, i want you to stay here with me and—“

his lips meet yours with a firmness that sets your heart aflame, and when he pulls away just enough to look at you your heart finally lands the finishing blow in its fight against your mind. your hand lingers on his chest as the one he uses to keep it there moves to mirror its counterpart on the other side of your jaw.

you barely glance down at his lips before they’re on yours again, a welcome experience that you hope you can experience over and over until you’re utterly familiar, but now you're not sure how to reciprocate. the novels you’ve read did little to educate you on the experience, much less prepare you for it to occur with the boy you’d found yourself longing for through the years. 

the gasp you let out when his hand moves from your jaw to your waist to tug you closer is silenced by his lips attaching themselves to yours like he’d spent a lifetime wishing to taste you.

he pulls away, yet he doesn't seem keen on keeping the distance, his nose brushing yours as he promises, “i will speak to your parents—”

the mention of them has your guts turning painfully enough to rip you away from him, nausea hitting you like a bullet through your throat, “i should not have done that.”

“i kissed you—“ his statement does little to quell your sickness, and the wavering grate in your voice as you interrupt him is telling of that. “that changes nothing.” your fingers move to your hair, the pin keeping it in place falling to the floor as you tug, “i am ruined. forget marrying the baron, i cannot marry anyone.”

“was i not clear?” he asks, and when you look at him with frustrated reluctance he continues, “should i gut myself? place my heart in your hands to have you understand how you haunt me?”

“we cannot marry.” you say, bottom lip trembling, “i will not be a consequence of your actions. it is not your duty to marry me when i am the only one ruined.”

riki’s jaw shifts as if your words brought him only fury, “i do not care for duty, i care for you.” 

“you are young, riki. you are not expected to marry for at least—“

“i want to.” he states firmly, “you said you wanted me to stay, so i am staying. i will dance with you at balls. i will send flowers and call on you every morning. i will promenade alongside you for as long as it takes. i…”

he moves towards you, thumbs brushing away the tears under your eyes as his forehead meets yours, “i am yours, do with me what you will.”

©heedeungism : do not rewrite, copy, repost, or translate any of my works without my permission.

can tumblr stop showing me fanfics about things im no longer interested in 😭😭 im not even following tags related to them wtf

LUCKY GIRL SYNDROME — NISHIMURA RIKI

SYNOPSIS — NISHIMURA RIKI’S GIRLFRIEND IS A WELL-KNOWN YOUTUBER. UNFORTUNATELY, HIS FRIENDS, HIS COMPANY, AND HIS FANS BELIEVE THAT HE’S JUST A DELUSIONAL FAN OF HERS.

PAIRING — IDOL!NI-KI X YOUTUBER!READER STARRING — NI-KI, READER, ENHYPEN, IVE’S WONYOUNG, LESSERAFIM’S CHAEWON, AESPA’S KARINA, NEWJEANS’ HAERIN WITH GUEST STARS ZB1’S RICKY, TXT’S BEOMGYU WARNINGS/NOTES (tba) — 100% CRACK, TEAM EDWARD GC ARE NOT IDOLS RELEASE DATE — 18TH JULY

PROFILES — 4LIFERZ | TEAM EDWARD

CHAPTERS — 1: TODAY’S SELFIE 2: SO SWEET 3: EVERYTHING WILL COME TRUE 4: MWAH! 5: WE'RE SO LUCKY 5: GOLDEN TICKET 7: HASHTAG LUCKY GIRL EPILOGUE: TOGETHER, YOU AND ME

TAGLIST — OPEN @sunpov @lukesboo @lambys-stuff @rikisgeef @hiekoo @sol3chu @sakiimeo @joyzluvr @femmefqtqle @1lovestrawberrymilk @jakeyverse @xeee334 @erisasleep @kyanmeai @sunooluuvr @dreeki @laurradoesloveu @kittsnewera @illvding @d-dilemma @unhakki @greentulip @clampclover @yourmyst4r @randomanothercreature @mheretoreadff @winabite

❛ 𝒊 𝒎𝒊𝒔𝒔 𝒚𝒐𝒖 ❜ — PSH

SUMMARY. Sunghoon doesn’t realise just how much he craves — how much he needs — your presence until it’s no longer there.

pairing. park sunghoon x fem!reader

genre. angst with comfort, fluff, one shot, friends to lovers

word count. ~ 4-5k

notes. inspired by this prompt here 🤩🤩 i’m so sorry it took so long to do i totally forgot about it 😭 BUT here is the friends to lovers with sunghoon 😮‍💨. ( gif divider by @cafekitsune )

𖤐 𓈒࣪ ᭡ ˖ one. 𝙞 𝙢𝙚𝙚𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪 . . . 𖦹︎ ִֶָ ࣪ ៹

“SORRY, EXCUSE ME! COMING THROUGH!”

You stumbled across the ice rink like a newborn fawn, following no clear path, relying solely on your waving arms to keep you upright. Skaters passing by gave you a wide berth as you sped forward. Children watched as you flew by. 

You should have expected that you’d eventually ram straight into someone. You just weren’t expecting it to be him of all people.

“Ow...” you winced as you lifted your back off the ice. When you spotted a boy across from you, you gasped and immediately got up (or, at least, as fast as you could with your level of skill, anyway). “Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry! Are you okay?”

The boy barely looked affected, as if he was used to the sensation of falling. “I’m fine,” he responded quietly, before standing. It was like he didn’t just have a fully-grown teenaged girl slam into him.

It was that moment you got a good look at his face.

Park Sunghoon, the so-called ‘Ice Prince’ of Hybe High. 

He had a… reputation, one could say. With a face that seemed carved from marble and an aura that left one guessing, it was no wonder why he had so many girls pining after him. Paired with his status as an accomplished athlete—a figure skater at that—it didn’t take a genius to know how he had earned his title.

Except, things weren’t usual all that simple, were they?

Park Sunghoon was an ‘Ice Prince’ in every definition of the word: not only did he reign supreme on the rink, he also had a knack for driving people away with his cold stare and even colder tone of voice. (Or so, the rumours went.)

It was just your luck, you supposed, that you had to bump into him.

He won’t be mad, would he? You fretted. 

But to your surprise, he was just the opposite.

Instead of telling you to “Get lost” (okay, you had to admit you only had your mangas to blame for this expectation) or to “Watch where you’re going” (again— the mangas), he actually held out a hand to you.

“Are you okay?”

In that moment, you were glad you were on the ground, because there was no way you like stay upright if Park Sunghoon looked at you the way he was now while standing.

You were already hyper aware of his physical attractiveness after seeing him from school. But those minor glimpses you’d get of him during class (when he wasn’t absent for figure skating training) or from across the hall did no justice to his face up close.

As he looked down at you, eyes full of concern, and a ray of light shining down on him, you couldn’t tell if he was real or—as cliche as it sounded—an Angel from above.

Oh, have mercy on my soul, you thought. You hesitantly reached out to accept his outstretched hand— and, wow, how was it that his hands were just as beautiful as his face?

As he gently lifted you from the floor—no, really, he had basically pulled you up with his strength alone—you felt your cheeks heat up, despite the cold of your surroundings.

“Are you okay?” he asked, his tone of voice nothing like what you’d heard from your gossiping classmates.

“Yeah, I’m okay!” you squeaked.

In your embarrassment, you quickly tried to pull your hand away from his. But just as you did, you faltered and almost planted on your butt… again. Out of reflex, you immediately reached out to the closest thing to you.

And of course, at that moment, the closest thing happened to be one Park Sunghoon.

You didn’t know what was more surprising: that he actually let you hold on to him, or the fact that he put an arm around your waist to stabilise you. Just like that, the two of you remained staring at each other. The world around you was full of movement and chaos, but in that moment everything came to a stand still.

You felt heat bloom in your cheeks.  

That’s it, you thought. I’m dead. He’s killed me.

Sunghoon’s ears started to redden at the tips as you continued to stare at each other. After a moment, he awkwardly removed his arm—though not too fast that you would topple down—and scratched the back of his neck.

“Ah…” Sunghoon chuckled shyly. “Sorry about that.”

He offered you a smile.

His resting face was a sight in itself. But the sight of his smile, the small dimple that it revealed, and small fangs that peeled out from his mouth, had your heart spiralling out of control. If your classmates saw him now, there was no way they could call him cold. (And no way they would be able to resist him.)

“I should be the one apologising…” you giggled. “Or rather, I should be thanking you, I guess— you saved me from potentially embarrassing myself more than I already have. I guess skating isn’t really my thing.”

Before Sunghoon could say anything you smiled at him. “But you’re really good. I’ve seen you quite a few times.”

It was about a month ago: your younger sibling decided that they wanted to take up ice hockey, and joined the local club. Since your parents were busy during some of their practices, you ended up chaperoning them. Simple enough, but boring.

Until you witnessed something magical.

You happened to look over to the side, just in time to catch a skater launch into the air. You watched in awe as the skater spun mid-air, before landing elegantly in the ice below— leg extended backwards, gliding like a swan across a lake.

You were definitely oversharing at this point, but you had already shared an awkward moment together. What was another on top of it?

You were half expecting Sunghoon to seem weirded out by your confession. But in fact, he didn’t seem surprised at all.

“I know,” he replied. 

You blinked at him. “Sorry?”

As it turned out, you weren’t as slick as you thought.

Apparently, Sunghoon had known for a while no that you were an avid fan of his, and knew who you were as a result. But you couldn’t really find it in you to complain, seeing as it brought you closer to the boy. Who would have known that you would end up drinking hot chocolate with the Ice Prince Park Sunghoon as if you were best buddies.

“You know, it’s kind of funny how this is our first time talking despite knowing each other for so long.”

You had been attending the same school together for a year, and had quite a few classes together. But you’d never even uttered a hello to each other before. Now, here you were.

Sunghoon chuckled shyly. You decided right then and there that you would never grow tired of seeing his smile—the dimples, fangs, and all.

“I’m not a very social person,” he admitted, looking down at his lap. His ears were flushed red, his fingers tapping against the styrofoam cup that held his hot chocolate. “I’ve never been good at making friends… especially with girls.”

To say you were surprised at the confession was an understatement. There was no way you’d imagine that Park Sunghoon of all people—who people would say was as cold as the ice he skated on—was just… well, shy!

“Wow, really? That’s a surprise…” you took a sip from your hot chocolate.

Sunghoon hummed. “It probably would be to someone like you… You’re so social and you get along with everyone. You have so many friends…”

You raised your eyebrows. Were you dreaming or did Sunghoon say that with a twinge of envy? Him? Envy you? That was a completely foreign thought. (There was also the fact that he somehow observed you enough to know you were a social butterfly who got along with everyone— but that didn’t bother dwelling on that fact for too long.)

“Well, you’re not bad at making friends either,” you assured the boy, patting his shoulder. “I mean you managed to talk to me, right?”

Sunghoon blinked. “I guess you’re right...” He turned to you with a shy smile. “But you’re pretty easy to talk to, so that’s probably why.”

“So, you’re saying I don’t count, huh?” You asked teasingly.

Sunghoon shook his head. “No! That’s not what I meant…”

You laughed. “Don’t worry, I know what you mean.” You took another sip of your hot chocolate before looking at him. “In that case, why don’t we just make it official?”

Sunghoon cocked his head in confusion. “What do you mean?”

You smiled.

“Let’s be friends.”

𖤐 𓈒࣪ ᭡ ˖ two. 𝙞 𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙨𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 . . . 𖦹︎ ִֶָ ࣪ ៹

ONE DAY, IN A STRETCH OF BOREDOM, YOU QUICKLY PULL OUT YOUR PHONE TO SEARCH FOR SUNGHOON’S CONTACT.

Perhaps you were coming off a little strong, considering you two have only been friends with each other a week by now. But you really couldn’t help yourself. Something about him was so endearing to you. Especially when he made that confession the

You flopped onto your bed and opened up your messages.

You: hey!!! how are you going?? hope you’re doing okay! You: but anyway! just wanted to see if you wanted to meet up before school tomorrow? 👀

You tilted your head. Does this seem too clingy?

You quickly added another text to the first one.

You: i thought it would be nice since we have class together

You bit your lip as you watched the screen, waiting for the typing bubbles to appear. When the ‘read’ notification popped up, you felt your heart quicken. But seconds turned into minutes and he still hadn’t said anything back.

You pouted. Did I use too many exclamation marks?

Dropped your phone, you turned to lie on your side. You just hoped you hadn’t come off as too familiar— after all, the last thing you wanted to do was hold the poor guy victim. You wondered if he thought you were strange…

But just as you were debating whether to send another text (‘Or not! It’s cool if you don’t want to!’), your phone pinged. You instantly sat up.

Ice Prince: no problem Ice Prince: sounds good

You stared. You blinked. Then you burst out laughing. 

He’s a bit of a dry texter, isn’t he? You thought. Now that, I saw coming.

If he were one of your long-time friends, you would have spammed him with random questions. (As the extrovert of your group, you usually found yourself carrying the conversations.) But, seeing as you’ve only really known him for a few days, you decided to have mercy on him.

Until you would eventually fill his world with chaos.

You: yay!! see you then!! ☺️ You: oh and goodnight by the way!

You smiled when you saw his reply.

Ice Prince: See you Ice Prince: Goodnight

You giggled to yourself as you closed your messages with Sunghoon and began to text your other friends. At that moment, you had another goal to add on to your list of things to do.

Mark my words, Park Sunghoon! you thought to yourself resolutely. One day, I will get you to use an emoji!

You greeted the next morning like a new friend.

You had nothing but good dreams the night before. And now, you were properly rested for a day of school—and, of course, hanging out with your new friend Sunghoon! If your parents noticed anything about your chipper mood, they didn’t say anything. But regardless of their odd looks, you didn’t care.

Nothing was going to bring you down from cloud nine.

You hummed as you grabbed your phone off the bench, bidding your family goodbye as you rushed out the door. Just then, you got a notification.

Ice Prince: I’ll be at the benches behind X block

You smiled as you flicked back a text.

You: okey!! I’m on my way to school now! so see you soon! ☺️

With that you skipped away. You couldn’t think of any other day where you had been so excited to go to school—if there ever was one, to begin with. You found yourself enjoying every little thing around, not taking it for granted: the buzz of the morning rush, the feeling of sunlight on your skin, the sight of freshly fallen flowers lining your path.

Today was such a good day. And it only got better when you caught a glimpse of a certain someone from a far.

How does he look so good just sitting there? you wondered.

You observed the way the sunlight managed to reflect off of him at just the right angles to illuminate his features and the wind gently brushed through his locks in a way you suddenly wanted to try for yourself. It seemed some people were just born to be loved by nature. And Park Sunghoon was one of them.

When you finally managed to shake yourself from your reverie, you bounced up to the boy, who didn’t seem to feel your eyes on him. (You supposed he was used to the sensation.)

Feeling mischievous you decided to approach him from behind. Taking quiet steps, you felt yourself smile as you got closer. Then, before he had the chance to realise your presence, you put your hands on his shoulders.

“Boo!”

Sunghoon jolted in his seat. He whipped around to face you, confusion over his features. Then—at the expense of your heart—his lips slowly curled into a smile.

“You’re here?” he said. “You could have just yelled out to me, you know?”

You giggled. “That’s not as fun!” Without waiting for an invitation, you plopped yourself down next to him. “So! What are we doing?” You tilted your head up to the sky to mimic the position he was sitting in before you disturbed him. “Are we cloud-gazing?”

“Huh?” Sunghoon blinked. He shook his head. “No. I was just thinking.”

You blinked back at him. The two of you blinked at each other, before you found yourself bursting into laughter. “Pfft—”

“You were ‘just thinking’?” you repeated with a smile.

Sunghoon nodded, causing you to laugh even more. “Why?” he asked, confused as to what it was he said that you found so funny. “What is it?”

“I mean, it’s just… who does this—” (You posed melodramatically, like a character on a movie poster.)  “—when they’re just thinking?”

“Ishhhh…” Sunghoon scrunched his nose, before standing up. His hands were balled into cute fists as he looked down at you. “Yah! How can you tease me like this? Huh?”

But his little ‘reprimand’ did nothing but make you giggle even more. For someone who was known as an ‘Ice Prince’, he had a lot of adorable habits.

“Okay, okay.” You patted him on the arm, trying your best to ignore how muscular they felt under your hand. “I know, so calm down now, yeah?”

Sunghoon sat down beside you, and the two of you enjoyed a moment of silence.

“By the way…”

You turned to face Sunghoon. “Yeah?”

You noticed that Sunghoon hadn’t lifted his head to look at you, instead lowering his head to hide the blush forming across his face. At that moment, your heart melted, endeared by the sight of him.

“I was thinking… did you want to walk home with me after school?”

Your eyes widened. But seconds later, you smiled.

“Sounds good!”

𖤐 𓈒࣪ ᭡ ˖ three. 𝙞 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 . . . 𖦹︎ ִֶָ ࣪ ៹

TIME PASSED IN THE BLINK OF AN EYE. Days flew by, then weeks, and then a month. And during that time, you only grew closer to your friend Sunghoon. Sunghoon, who you could now barely remember what it was like before meeting him.

You never would have thought you’d be attached to the hip with the infamous ‘Ice Prince’, but here you were, walking among a crowd of eager-to-leave students, shoulders almost touching with how close you stood together.

You’d be lying if you said you didn’t feel a little slip of joy when Sunghoon had been the one to ask you first. And now, you two had made it a tradition of sorts to walk home together every day.

You hadn’t ever needed someone to walk you home before. But you would be a fool to turn down an offer from Sunghoon.

As such, you were planning to make the most of it.

“You got along with the others okay, didn’t you?” you asked, referring to the group of friends you had introduced to him today.

Sunghoon nodded with a smile. “Yeah. I even got Beomgyu’s number.”

You smiled cheerfully. At least it wasn’t Ning’s or Yunjin’s, you thought. You couldn’t really explain why, but you felt a little twist in your stomach at the thought of either of them (the only females, coincidentally) in his messages. It was an unwarranted feeling—one that you didn’t have any right to—but you couldn’t help it. 

Whatever it was, you would ponder it later. For now, you simply wanted to enjoy the scenery. Flower petals falling from the trees, twirling in the air as they fell gently to the ground, lining your path with pink omens of romance and love.

Ha, you thought, I think I’m getting delusional.

“I’m glad you got along well with them,” you said. “Look at you go— you’ve already gotten new friends with little to no effort required. You’re a lot more sociable than you think.”

Sunghoon looked at you with an unreadable expression. “Really?”

You nodded eagerly. “Of course!”

Sunghoon smiled gently. “You know, when I first met you, I thought you were kind of strange.”

You burst out laughing at the sudden admission. “Oh, really? And what about now?”

“Now?” Sunghoon hummed as if he was in deep thought. When he turned to you, there was a glint of mischief. “Now I realise… you really are pretty weird.”

You faked a scandalised gasp. Slapping the boy hard on the shoulder, watching as he started to laugh at your reaction, you couldn’t help but giggle. If he was teasing you, that meant he considered you to be comfortable enough to joke around with. So, you couldn’t be too annoyed at him.

Especially when those dimples of his poked out. 

Gosh I really am weak, aren’t I? you thought.

“It takes one to know one, dummy,” you responded.

Sunghoon chuckled. “Then I guess we’ll be weird together.”

Your eyes softened. If, right then and there, someone were to say you had honey dripping from them, you would believe them. Otherwise, there was no explanation for how bright and golden the boy in front of you appeared at that moment.

“Sure,” you said. “Together.”

Yes two of you walked in a comfortable silence for a few moments after. But you had decided at that moment that you wanted to delay your parting— even if just by a little bit.

“You mentioned that you don’t have training tonight, right?” you asked Sunghoon. The male nodded in response. “Well, there’s an arcade nearby that just opened recently. Wanna check it out?”

Sunghoon smiled, his fangs peeking out as he did. “Sure.”

“Cool.” You then surprised Sunghoon by bolting off. “Race you there!”

“Aish—!”

You giggled as you heard the boy curse before taking off after you. You didn’t care how many looks you got on the way. The sound of your laughter mixing together as you raced down the pavement was music to your ears.

Your new favourite song by far.

That afternoon, you had spent all of your time laughing in the arcade, spending hours like they were nothing but minutes, living solely in that moment. After several games against each other, you two found yourself before the claw machine, counting the last few of your tokens.

“Ahhhh!” You groaned in frustration when you missed the cat plushie you had your eyes set on for the last five minutes. “I just needed to get a little bit to the right!”

Sunghoon chuckled from beside you, watching as you almost tore your hair out. You had only meant to spend one or two tokens on the plush, but after gradually getting closer with each try, you insisted that you “might as well go all the way”… only for you to get nowhere at all.

Now you were tokenless and left feeling like you wanted to smash open the machine.

You sighed as you turned to Sunghoon. “Looks like I’m done for today,” you said with a laugh. “What do you want to do? You still have a few tokens left.”

Sunghoon smiled. “Move.”

You blinked as he gently nudged you aside so that he could get to the claw machine controls, wordlessly slipping a token into the coin slot.

“Ayeeee,” you drawled out, crossing your arms over your chest. “Didn’t you see me before? It’s obviously rigged. You shouldn’t waste your tokens on this.”

But it was too late. Sunghoon was already starting to operate the machine, a smile on his face as he nudged the claw so that it hovered over a penguin plush. You immediately perked up.

You wanted the penguin plush at first, but after seeing how difficult it would be to retrieve it from the corner that was stuck in, you chose to play your cards smart and opt for the cat plush. But while the car plush was much easier to get based on its position, you still failed. So the fact that Sunghoon boldly went after your first option piqued your interest — if not a little ire.

You meant down to his eye level, your heads bumping together slightly as you watched the claw make countless turns to get an optimal angle.

“Someone’s confident.” 

Just as you said that, Sunghoon hit the button. You watched as the claw descended, taking the penguin plushie up in a pinch, before slowly making its way over to the dropping bay. 

Imagine your surprise when the penguin made it all the way.

You gaped as Sunghoon retrieved his newly retrieved plush from the tray, before fluffing it right in front of your face.

“Wha— but how?” You stuttered out. “No way…”

Sunghoon simply laughed, his dimples poking out from the force of his smile.

“Confidence,” he replied.

You remained frozen in place, still unable to process what had just happened. But what shocked you most was what happened next. Before you could say anything, Sunghoon held out the plush, offering it to you with a tint of red blooming across his cheeks.

“Here,” he said. “You can have it.”

You blinked in surprise, an eruption of butterflies setting off inside your chest. Slowly, you reached out, your fingers brushing against his as you took the penguin plush from his hands.

“Thanks, Hoon,” you said, using the nickname special only to the two of you.

“Like it?” he asked, watching as you softly squished the plush, your eyes filled with wonder.

You held the plush to your chest. You smiled at him and nodded.

“I like it.”

I like you.

𖤐 𓈒࣪ ᭡ ˖ four. 𝙞 𝙢𝙞𝙨𝙨 𝙮𝙤𝙪 . . . 𖦹︎ ִֶָ ࣪ ៹

PEOPLE OFTEN CALLED SPRING THE SEASON OF ROMANCE. Of pink flower petals, pink as the cheeks of lovesick youths; of blossoming love, nurtured by the warm encounters shared between two people hopelessly lost in each other’s orbit.

But not everyone was meant to experience that feeling for themselves. And you were one of them, it seemed.

“I like you.”

The words fell from your lips as easily as the petals of the cherry blossoms from the tree above you. His eyes widened at your sudden confessions, his head turning to face you, no longer occupied with watching the shifting clouds hanging over your heads.

Your voice is soft. Full of hesitance, yet honest all the same. But he doesn’t make a move to reciprocate. He could only stand there, frozen as the ice he held dear to himself.

Maybe you shouldn’t have said anything. Maybe you should have gone on pretending that you didn’t feel anything for him. Pretend as if Park Sunghoon — one of your closest friends — didn’t make your heart burst like the kaleidoscope of colours at the storefront of a flower shop.

But there was no denying it. You couldn’t lie to yourself… and not to him, either.

“What?” he asked, his voice weak with shock.

You swallowed heavily, the weight of your words squeezing down on your chest.

“I like you,” you repeated. “I have for a long time now.”

You stood there for what seemed to be an eternity of silence. Sunghoon looks at you, his eyebrows furrowed in a deep frown, his shoulders tense. And at that moment, you probably already knew what was coming.

“I… I’m sorry.” Sunghoon lowered his head, unable to look at you. If you listened closely, you could hear the sound of shattered glass — the remnants of your heart breaking at his words.

You forced a smile, despite how much it pained you to do so. “It’s okay,” you said. “It happens… I just wanted to let you know.”

Sunghoon but his lip. “We can still be friends, though… right?”

You nodded. “Of course.”

That’s what you told him. But truth be told, you didn’t know how you could go on, acting like nothing had happened. Acting like you didn’t wish to be something more. And so, that afternoon, when you walked home alone — needing time to yourself to wipe the tears that fell down your cheeks as you mindlessly dragged yourself to your bed — you could only think of one thing.

That from this moment forth, you would do what needed to be done to save your own heart. Even if it meant breaking it at the same time. So when Sunghoon texted you later that night, budding you sweet dreams, you didn’t reply.

Unaware that his own heart was breaking just as much as your own.

Sunghoon stared at his message, waiting for the text bubbles to appear on your end, which would signal that you were about to respond. But as minutes passed — and soon, an hour — and there was no sign of reciprocation on your end, he finally turned off his phone and dropped it on his pillow.

He sighed deeply, running his hands through his hair.

Your confession had completely caught him off guard. He hadn’t expected that you felt anything more for him than friendly affection, considering how easily you endeared yourself to others. How easily you smiled, how easily you made others laugh, how easily you broke down any walls around their hearts….

Himself included.

But he didn’t know what it was that he felt for you. For a long time, he barely had any friends to call his own — acquaintances maybe, but never friends. And then you came out of nowhere, literally crashing into his life, with the bold proclamation of being his friend within hours of knowing him.

He didn’t know how you did it. How you made him so curious about you that he woke up every morning waiting for your texts, or anticipating the sight of your smile.

He didn’t know what you were doing to him. But he didn’t want it to change. He wanted you to always be there with him, to share all his moments with him, small or big, good or bad. But now…

One last time, Sunghoon checked his phone.

No answer.

He closed his eyes. He hoped with all his heart that this was temporary. That tomorrow morning, when he woke up, he would see your name as a notification, bidding him good morning with that smiley emoji you seemed to favour so much.

He hoped — more desperately than words could say — that he didn’t just lose you forever.

But he started to see the signs.

The next morning, he didn’t hear a word from you. When he got to school to your usual meet up spot, you were nowhere to be seen. And when he got to class, taking his seat next to your empty desk, imagine his surprise when he found out you weren’t coming to school.

“She said she was feeling sick,” Yunjin told him, surprised. “She didn’t tell you?”

No. You didn’t. And Sunghoon didn’t know what was worse — that he was the only one who didn’t know, or that he was the only who knew the real reason why you weren’t there.

You were avoiding him. And it only became obvious when things continued the next, and the next day after…

Slowly, but surely, you were slipping from his grasp.

Slowly but surely, he was losing you.

One day, he realised, you would stop being there altogether. One day, you would go on and find new people to surround yourself with. New people to tease, new people to spam with cute texts, new people to go to the arcades with…

And a new person to like. Perhaps, more than him.

Sunghoon felt sick at the thought of you with someone else. The thought of you confessing to them the way you did to him. And he was starting to realise why.

“Hey, Yunjin.”

Sunghoon stopped by the girl’s desk as soon as the bell rang.

“Hey, what’s up?” she asked curiously. 

Sunghoon pointed at the notes she was currently on the middle of putting away in her bag. The notes she was asked to copy down and give to you so you could catch up from home.

“Those are for her, right?”

At your house, buried under your covers, you had no idea of what was happening. Completely oblivious to the desperate boy on his way to your house, running as if his life depended on it, you curled into a ball, your limbs feeling too weak to leave the cocoon you made for yourself on your bed. 

A knock on your bedroom door causing you to lift your head.

“What?” you asked in irritation.

“Don’t you know how to check your phone?” Your older brother, Heeseung asked. “One of your friends from school is here saying that they were meant to give you your catch up notes. But you weren’t answering.”

You sat up in your bed. Checking your phone, you saw several missed calls from Yunjin. You groaned. You quickly texted an apology before kicking your sheets off your figure and rushing to the bathroom to fix your appearance.

Despite having taken a shower not too long ago, you still looked utterly miserable, and the wetness of your hair only added to the drowned rat look you were sporting, with your oversized white tee shirt and old gym shorts.

You sighed as you quickly fixed your hair as best you could. Hopefully, Yunjin wouldn’t care too much.

You trudged to your door, slamming it open to see Heeseung standing there with raised eyebrows.

“Are you sure you wanna go down looking like that?” he asked.

You rolled your eyes. “Who cares? It’s just Yunjin.”

Heeseung’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “When did I say—?”

But before Heeseung could finish, you were already pushing past him. You really didn’t have time for his nagging, especially when he had already been doing it for the last few days, urging you to get out of your room and even trying to drag you out by force. He might have thrown you into the back of the car to drive you away from home — where you had been locked up for days now — to go anywhere with fresh air if it weren’t for your mother scolding him.

With a tired sigh, you made your way downstairs. Since both your parents weren’t home, it was completely quiet, and you could hear your footsteps echo as they padded across the tiled floors of the kitchen to your front door.

You cleared your throat as you opened the door.

“Hey, Yun—“ your eyes widened when you saw who was at the door. “Sunghoon?”

Sunghoon smiled tiredly, panting, his shoulders rising and falling as if he had just ran a mile.

“Hey.”

You gaped.

“I— what— why—?” You couldn’t even make out words in your shock. At that moment, you remembered what Heeseung said about your appearance and gasped. “Wait, I’m not dressed—“

You almost closed the door in Sunghoon’s face. But before you could even move, he had already reached out to grab your arm pulling you to his chest. Your eyes widened at the feeling of his arms enveloping you, covering you in warmth.

“Hoon…?” you asked, your voice shaky.

Sunghoon took a deep breath. And only then, you realised he was crying.

“Hoon? What’s wrong?” you asked. You tried to pull away and look at his face, only for him to tighten his grip on you.

“I like you.”

You froze in place.

“What did you just say?”

Sunghoon took another shaky breath, his forms hovering as he held onto you as if you might disappear at any moment.

“I didn’t realise it until now… and I’m so sorry it took so long,” he whispered, his voice shaky and hoarse. “But I like you. I like you a lot. And when you were gone I missed you like crazy.”

He pulled away, looking you in the eyes.

Your heart hammered away in your chest. We’re you dreaming? Or did Sunghoon really just say he liked you — you, of all people. The whole time you spent lying in bed mourning your broken heart, he had been feeling the same way for you that you did for him?

“I…” your voice shook as you pulled away from the hug. You looked into his eyes, wet from tears. Those tears were from you, you realised. You did this to him. You made him cry. “I’m so sorry…”

Sunghoon sniffled, shaking his head. “It’s okay.” His hands, still shaking from his raging emotions, slowly made their way up your arms, before cupping your face. “Just tell me… please tell me you haven’t moved on.”

You shook your head, swallowing the lump in your throat. “Never.”

“Then be mine,” Sunghoon whispered, almost as if he was praying.

You didn’t say anything in return. Instead, you pulled his tie down, so that his lips crashed against yours, fitting like two pieces on a jigsaw puzzle. You let your lips move against his own without any thought but the feel of his mouth on yours. Of the feeling of him holding you to him, like you belonged there on the first place.

And you did.

You were a fool to think otherwise.

A few minutes later — after Heeseung had chased Sunghoon away, claiming “kids should be in bed by now” — you lay on your bed to find a new message from Sunghoon.

Hoon: can’t wait to see you again

You giggled.

You: you only just left 😆

Hoon: i know just can’t help it

As you read his next message, a warm feeling wrapped around your heart.

Hoon: i miss you 🤍