I’ve Read „everything Always Works Out In The Bed“ And Thought, Well Yeah Thats True

I fucking love this

Why the hell is this laid out like a meme

I went through depression, and i am not suicidal anymore and i am not depressed anymore

But i still have depression, it wokt ever go away, it didnt even after all these years. There is still this little thought back in my mind where i hate me and everything and judt dont want to live.

Its sealed and hidden, but it exists and it wont go away. And it can come back.

Depression is sometimes everywhere obvious

Or in the back of someones mind, coming back at moments of happiness

Everyones journey is different. Do not judge just because you do not see, do not hear and are not ask.

You say all the suicidal people are just in the phase,

No one of them is depressed or going through a stress.

And I don’t know when you would ever understand

That you’re just ignorant and don’t want to comprehend.

If i said I am one of them would you even care

Or would you repeat all the words from above there?

If i said I’m suicidal would you say im in denial

And my sad mood can’t be serious because you don’t see this?

I really want to change your mind and open up your ears

But even if i do so would it change a thing? Because i feel like it won’t.

Though i know you love me but can you say it once at least

Or is this issue that I, too, will be dealing with?

d.a.

dogs are so pure

Challenge accepted

Moving out

I seeall this stuff from my childhood. So many things where I realize, everything I did from my 8yrs old self, was coping.

I had a shitty childhood, but really

With 8 I cut the eyes from old pictures out.

With 9 I drew black over my father in every picture I own of him.

With 10 I wrote in a diary telling it how I hate everyone and everything.

With 12 I got letters from my bullies telling me how worthless I am, I spit in them.

And with 15 I wrote a letter how I will kill myself.

I found this now, cuz I now move out I just realize how bad I actually was. I never fully understood why everyone is so impressed and stunned bymy behavior and casuality about all of this. Until now.

And now I’m sitting here, almost crying, realizing how fucking messed up I was. I am. How fucking good I am at coping and ignoring. How fucking stupid I was thinking I wont get better.

God, I cant fully comprehend the fact that the little girl, destroying her possessions out if anger, trying to kill herself, always mad and angry at the world. The little girl who was insuch a bad spot, was me. Is me idk.

Im still so fucking mad. Still so fucking vulnerable, I never realize how vulnerable, because I well, just keep going, keep living.

Is it a good coping mechanism, stubbornness or just ignorance? Idk all I know is I’ve got better.

My depression and anxiety will never go fully away again. But I’ve got control and freedom.

Can you reblog the link where u summarise each show of ii

Yup, (here you go)!

there are fanfics you will recommend to your friends with enthusiasm and then there are fanfics that no-one can ever know you have read

Cinnamon roll

Ray Toro: Looks like a cinnamon roll and is actually a cinnamon roll

Mikey Way: Looks like he could kill you but  could actually kill you

Frank Iero: Looks like he could kill you, is actually a cinnamon roll

Gerard Way: Sinnamon roll or cinnamon roll there is nothing between

A beautiful mess

Basically

i feel called out