Grief Lessons: Four Plays By Euripides, Anne Carson / S6E3: After Life (x) / Persona, Ingmar Bergman

The tough thing about boundaries is that it’s not enough to state them, you have to enforce them.

I think some folks see “setting boundaries” as a kind of magic talisman to influence other people’s behavior. “I’ll tell you what I need or can’t accept, and you will act accordingly.” And sometimes that’s what happens, and that’s great! But if the other person disregards your stated boundaries, it doesn’t mean setting boundaries didn’t work.

Because boundaries aren’t about others’ behavior, they’re about your own. If the other person’s behavior doesn’t change, then yours has to. “Please don’t discuss [x topic] with me” is a request. “If you continue to talk about [x topic] then I will end this conversation/hang up/leave” is a boundary, which you must then enact. The point is less about stopping the other person (although that’s ideal) and more about protecting yourself. And you have to be committed to protecting yourself, because no one else will be.

You have to be so committed that you’re willing to tolerate other people being hurt or angry or uncomfortable. You have to accept that some relationships might change. You have to hold onto the idea that it’s all right for them to change, because the way they were before was hurting you, and you deserve to not be hurt. You gave them a choice: maintain a relationship or keep doing the thing that hurts you, and they chose to keep hurting you, so if the situation is now awkward or unpleasant that was because of their choice. Enforcing boundaries means deciding that if someone is going to feel bad here, it need not be always and only you.

There is no magic formula that will make other people treat you kindly and respectfully. But you can learn to treat yourself with kindness and respect. That’s what enforcing a boundary is.

It has been more than 20 years since BtVS. I think we've grown; we've matured; we have moved past the need for a bloody ship war... so can we please 🥺 do a little bit of a ship war but like... just for fun?

So... (and involving both text, subtext, one-sided text, and some 'there simply being enough people who ship it to earn a spot'-text)...

(grab your stakes and scythes for this battle -> BUT ONLY THE STUFFED TOY KIND. Bonus points if they make clown noises when clashing against each other)

i love london

We celebrate the purported geniuses who discovered the cure--but we don't acknowledge that discovering a cure means nothing unless and until we get the cure to the people who need it--an enterprise we've failed at to a remarkable degree over the last 70 years.

Gabriel Boutin is so cool, I wish French people were real

Read the description and thought it was a still, so i just assumed op meant metaphorically unnamed layers.... also true

this has a million and one unnamed layers

in light of Trump's inauguration speech declaring multiple national emergencies that require him to take god-knows-what executive actions immediately, I'd like to remember this chapter of "On Tyranny" by Timothy Snyder:

lestat would pull a pete wentz and say "I'm sorry every song's about you" when he knew louis was in the crowd for his show

It's crazy that these strikes are happening given that all the writers and actors are asking for is less than 0.3% of the revenue these studios make.