Because This Explains So Much.

“Dear Mom, thanks for this beautiful life and forgive me if I don’t love it enough.”

— (via hey-satan-loves-you)

i can’t even begin to explain how much i hate when someone just interrupts me when i’m in the middle of saying something. like it probably took me a while to get over my social anxiety and actually formulate my thoughts so they come out at least halfway coherent and you just interrupt me and start talking about whatever? that’s fucking rude. i already don’t feel like anything i say is valid enough to be voiced outloud. so thank you for reassuring my shit brain by interrupting me. you just made me feel even more invalidated. thank you so much for that jackass

im sorry to everyone who has ever tried to talk to me and then realized my communication skills are equivalent to a stale piece of bread

“For these past months and years, you’ve let yourself die. you’ve been dying, love. Deep down, you’d hoped for someone to save you. You also knew no one would come in shining armor and deathless spirit to rescue you from this pit you’ve fallen into because only you are able to get yourself out of there. So, you chose to blossom. Water yourself with life, with the life you’ve been denying yourself for so long. And now you are blooming like the most stunning of flowers. You’ll have learnt that you can be reborn, even after the deadliest of times. You can blossom again, even after the worst of winters.”

—

you are blooming.

this one is for @thecoldheartlesscloud.

No, you don’t understand. People with BPD notice everything. We notice when you don’t smile as wide at us one morning. We notice when you don’t hug as tight. When you don’t sound quite as happy when speaking to us. When you look the slightest bit uninterested in what we’re saying.

And when you talk to someone else. When you talk to someone else and look like you’re enjoying yourself, we assume that you’d rather be with them all of the time. So we leave before you can confirm or deny that.

And if you start telling us about a fun time you had with someone else it will not end well. We might be too shy to speak up about it, but it’ll still eat away at us. We’ll feel abandoned. 

And “You should have been there!” is the absolute worst thing to say. We know we should have been there. We want to have been there. We know you had fun and we’re happy that you did, but the sadness of feeling abandoned completely obliterates that. So don’t rub it in.

Instead, say, “Yeah, we had fun, but I’m glad I’m here now” or, “… that you’re here now”. It really makes us feel loved and appreciated. 

I know this barely scratches the surface of what we feel on a daily basis, but I hope this can help those who don’t know.

Thank you for coming to my TedTalk.

The depression won today. Staying home from school because it’s too hard to get out of bed. I just woke up and I already know the days going to consist of suicidal thoughts and sleeping the pain away.

Yesterday my therapist used “triggered” in an actual medical context and for a second I honestly thought she was making fun of me before I remembered that it was still a word like. Actual doctors use and not just something shitty people say