It Secretly Terrifies Me That I Have No Solid Personality Or Identity. If You Asked Me Who I Am I Could

You know what sucks even more than being mentally ill? Being self-aware about it. Like you constantly know that your behavior is a problem and you know exactly what it is and exactly what’s causing it, but nobody believes you because you’re mentally ill.

“I’m numb and alone. What I want more than anything is to feel something and have someone. But I can’t, I’ve pushed every single person who ever cared away, to protect them from myself . I’ve isolated myself with the loneliness and with no contact to other people my feelings are none existent .”

-Excerpt from a book I’ll never write (excerptsfromstories)

some supa good slam poems(-:

here’s a list of some of my favorite slam poems because slam poetry is beautiful and wonderful and incredible and lovely and everything

sienna burnett- “U Fine?”

“my mother has a texting language all her own and when she asks, “U Fine?” this means somewhere, very recently, there was another bullet-stop ending. there was another trigger parade.”

karina stow- trigger warning

“i don’t believe in lying to children, but when she asks me what’s wrong i still tell her the storybook version; i tell her that once, a bad man broke into my home. i wish i’d also told her that bad men look like respectable young men–trigger. that bad men will compliment your nana on her lemon squares. bad men write love poems- trigger. bad men smile so wide they will swallow you and you, you will convince yourself you asked him to.”

don luben- 14 lines from love letters or suicide notes

“i came home on thursday and found all of the chairs in the house stacked in a pile in the center of my kitchen; i don’t know how long they have been like that, but it must have been me that did it. it is the kind of thing a ghost might do, to prove to the living he is still there. i am haunting my own apartment.”

tucker bryant- facts about myself

“but being built like a short story is a lesson in finding other ways to be the tallest tale in the room.”

sarah kay- love letter from a toothbrush to a bicycle

“i know about your rough edges and i have seen your perfect curves, and i will fit into any spaces you let me. if loving you means getting dirty, bring on the grime, i will leave this porcelain home behind.”

savannah brown- i wish i was (a flaw examination)

“i wish i was more interesting but that might be one of those things where everyone else thinks i’m interesting, but i don’t because i’m me and i know i spend most of my days wearing pajamas in my room, which isn’t that interesting.”

phile kaye- beginning, middle, and end

“like the night you thought you were invincible, ran out into the lightning storm with a million keys tied to a million kites, and a clench in your jaw that said, “take me with you, goddammit, i dare you.” and the week you finally reached out to feel your father’s cheeks and just found paper cuts.”

dia davina- emergency room

“dont touch my heart when it’s thundering. you wouldn’t swim in a lightning storm, would you?”

melissa newman-evans- 9 things i would like to tell every teenage girl

“you remember that metaphor about killing you being stealing your voice? sometimes…the world will actually try to kill you. you’ll never deserve it.”

desiree dallagiacomo- sink 

“is that not living? being so close to death that you paint it on your skin?”

it bothers me so much that people think they can speak about Muslim faith and how Muslims approach their faith and practice of their own religion from people who either don’t know anything about it or know so little that they put every Muslim in the same bag. There are almost 2 billion of us and you think you can speak for all of us and tell us how to practice our own faith??? We’re all so different and we come from so many different backgrounds. You have no right to speak for us or tell us how to be Muslim.

There are Muslims who spend hours praying every day. There are Muslims who barely have the time to pray 5 times a day. There are Muslims who don’t pray. There gay Muslims. There bi Mulsims. There are pan Muslims. There are trans Mulsims. Muslims who are depressed. Muslims who don’t always find solace in their faith. Muslims who doubt every day but still wake up at 3 A.M for fajr. There are Muslims whose happiness lays in reading the Quran every day. There are Muslims who can’t read the Quran. There are Muslims who fast regularly. There are Muslims who don’t fast even during Ramadan. There are people who wear the hijab and people who don’t. There people who choose to have a beard and Muslims who don’t… I could go on forever.

For every Muslim there is a whole story and our religion is not the only thing about us. Whether it matters or not to us, our religion and our practice of it is not yours to dissect and comment upon. And for the Muslim people who do judge their brothers and sisters for these things, it is good to remember that only Allah can judge us and if you try to, it’s considered the highest sin: shirk.

Whatever I do, it’s between me and Allah and no one has the right to lift an eyebrow. Islam is supposed to be a private matter and just because you think you can spot us in a crowd doesn’t mean you get to publicly dismiss us especially if it’s for things you don’t actually know.

“There are days when I look at you and I don’t see the boy I fell in love with. The boy who used to put in effort just to see me smile, the boy whose day wasn’t complete until he heard about mine, the boy who used to hold my hand because he knew i was scared of the dark, the boy who would write letters to me unexpectedly. I don’t see the boy I fell in love with, just another boy who tells me he loves me.”

— //nikitagupta

“Lately Ive been picking through my brain

Searching for the reason why I finally went insane

But I’m out of luck

I Guess I’ll never be the same

Maybe I’m just crazy or have I always been this way

Come to think of it

Ever since a jit, I shied away from other kids

Sitting on the playground

Thinking everybody’s judging him

Forward six years later

And I still cant let nobody in”

Whosthatkidd

“The moment love rejected me and I decided to reject it too. I had to plead guilty of my own murder”

— Rose O.