Jason: No, Don't-!

Jason: Fuck you Eric.

Eric:

Merwin: Yeah, Eric, fuck you!

Eric:

Joey: Eric, you suck.

Eric:

Clarisse, looking Eric up and down: You look like you shop at vineyard vines.

Eric, tearing up: That is the meanest thing anyone has ever said to me.

Muggles are not able to REBLOG this.

REBLOG this to prove you are not a Muggle.

my reblog button fucked up and i almost had a heart attack

I did it in the first try.

OH YEAH

Eric: This is my wife, Rachel, and her boyfriend, Nick. Who is also my boyfriend.

...33

Nick: We need to get through this locked door. Eric, give me your credit card.

Eric: Here.

Nick, pocketing it: Jason, break down the door.

Nick: Hey, Jason? Can I get some dating advice?

Jason, sighing: Just because I'm with Salim doesn't mean I know how I did it.

I’m going with: it’s a reference to the Pink Panthers episode of Buzzfeed Unsolved for the points

i think it’s reasonable to assume that any spacefaring version of humanity would probably end up wearing funny hats as a cultural thing

Zain, reading a book Jason gave him: Baba, what's a brothel?

Salim, after a long pause: It's a place where they make soup.

Salim: I'm going to take a shower, you want to join me?

Jason: I keep a gun in the drawer under my bunk. If I ever say no to that question I want you to shoot me with it

Salim, whose first language isn’t English: Hello! I’m sorry if my English isn’t very good.

Jason, whose first language is English: Hte fuckign.