Cheater | Kth [oneshot]

I’m Not Yours | kth. masterlist

“When the rain stops you shine on me, your light’s the only thing that keeps the cold out.”

↠ pairing : Kim Taehyung x Female Reader

↠ summary : When your childhood best friend, Kim Taehyung moves back into town, you expect the next few years to be reminiscent of your younger years. Awkward, tense and quiet. What you don’t expect is being forced to distract him from his overbearing crush on your mutual best friend, Eunji.

↠ genre : university au, estranged childhood friends to lovers, strangers to lovers, idiots to lovers, art student!taehyung, literature student!reader, angst, fluff & smut

↠ rating : 18+

↠ warnings : swearing, mentions of anxiety and depression, bad & toxic friends, lots of feelings, small forms of violence (with other characters), explicit sexual content. (additional warnings will be given with each chapter!)

↠ banner : by the sweetest @lavienvante 🤎 thank you so much for making me the prettiest banner!! <3 go check out her works 🤎

↠ a/n : here is the masterlist for my first series! i am beyond excited to share this with you & i hope you enjoy this journey as much as i do! happy reading <3

↠ series song : christmas tree - taehyung (the lyrics fit this series oh so perfectly 🤎)

❦ chapter 1 : a lane in the public gardens at arles - 1888 [7K]

❦ chapter 2 : water lilies and japanese bridge - 1899 [10K]

❦ chapter 3 : the weeping woman - 1937 [coming soon…]

❦ chapter 4 : at eternity’s gate - 1890

❦ chapter 5 : poppy field - 1886

❦ chapter 6 : the night cafe - 1888

❦ chapter 7 : snow at argenteuil - 1874

❦ chapter 8 : almond blossoms - 1890

❦ chapter 9 : the artist’s garden at giverny - 1900

❦ chapter 10 : view from the artist’s window - 1823

❦ epilogue : the starry night - 1889

❦ extras :

↠ glossary - a closer insight to the iny!world & characters. here you can find the answers to any important questions and information about the characters. this will be added to as the story goes on.

↠ playlist - have a listen to their songs (thank you @lavienvante for helping 🤎)

↠ your thoughts - a collection of our thoughts

start date : 30.12.21 || 00:00 KST

finish date :

↠ FAQ :

how often will you update?

updates for this series will be random! i will be writing as much as i can in my free time. i am busy right now with my jobs & uni, so my updates will be scheduled around that. i do however, work on this series daily and love seeing what everyone has to say about it <3

how i envision y/n & eunji?

here you can find moodboards that portray how i personally see both y/n & eunji !! you’re all open to your own interpretation of course, but i wanted to share mine :) feel free to show me how you paint them in your minds!

[+18] like no other • kth one shot

pairing: taehyung x reader 

word count: 6.937

genre: smut 

rating: +18 | explicit 

warnings: strong language, teasing, dirty talk, oral [f receiving], fingering, orgasm delay/denial, praise kink, sir kink, creampie, nipple play, rough sex, unprotected sex

au: exes 

trope: sex with the ex 

tags: shameless smut, big dick!taehyung, possessive!taehyung, best friend!jimin, best friend!yoongi

crosspost: ao3

summary: great chemistry is an extreme waste when people are terrible at communication and feelings.

☆ disclaimer: this is a work of fiction taken from the depths of my imagination, which takes place in an alternative universe (AU) and has no real connection with people, places or organizations. everything you will read is fictional and created by me. i do not authorize its reproduction, translation or publication, partially or entirely © mrsparknamjoon

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reblogging this to save myself from college depression

a uni survival guide: tips from a phd

if there's one thing i know about, it's college. i've done it, i've taught it, i've lived and breathed it. these tips are for first years in particular, but honestly for everybody. i think it's so important for people to have balanced lives in these years -- academics are not everything. you know what didn't help me in the real world when i was afraid i wouldn't live through it? my fancy college note-taking format. you know what did help me? the friends i made there who i knew would get on a plane and fly across the country in a matter of hours if i told them i needed them.

academic

- figure out where class is held ahead of time: don't be that kid who's late on day one, i beg of you

- use the writing center: especially for basic grammatical editing, which a lot of professors don't have time to mark on papers

- speak up in class: talking through ideas helps you work through them, and asking questions about something you don't understand can open up great lines of conversation

- find a regular schedule that works for you and stick to it: my college schedule was morning free time, class, lunch, class, practice, homework. that consistency was a life-saver

- keep a planner: it's so important to have a central place to track deadlines, assignments, and engagements

- annotate your reading: when you're stressing about a paper topic, being able to go back to what you've highlighted and written in the margins is a life-saver

- color-code your coursework: i use the same color highlighter, pen, and notebook for any given class. it's super helpful

- if you can't focus while studying with friends, don't: i reserved group studying for days when i didn't have important work because i can't be in a room with other people without talking to them. if your school has one, the quiet floor of the library is your best friend

- treat yourself to a "fun" class: art was always my place to just sit back and chill, a way to end the night all zen in the darkroom instead of conjugating russian verbs in a fluorescent-lit cinderblock prison. for you, it could be gym, it could be pottery, it could be some random course about, like, the history of cooking or something -- explore!

- profs are people too: don't be too nervous around them. also, know that if you're struggling -- even b/c of something in your personal life -- you can admit it, and they'll almost always understand why you missed a deadline or bombed a test

- go to office hours: it's the only way to get to know professors in big courses, and it's so helpful for both your grades and learning how to navigate relationships with authority figures

social

- don't let academia keep you from your friends: it's a case-by-case basis, but sometimes it's okay to let the reading slide and spend time with friends. i graduated seven years ago and my college group text still talks every day. that's so much more important to me than the fact that i never finished brideshead revisited

- joining a club is one of the best ways to make friends: i played ultimate frisbee through college and it was the source of so many lasting relationships, as well as the way i met all my local friends when i was abroad

- say yes to things you don't know if you'll like: you'll surprise yourself. me? turns out i love drinking games. and theme parties. and skinny dipping. and rock climbing

- don't be that person who looks down on their peers for partying: honestly? that person kind of sucks. you don't have to party if you don't want to, but actually, a lot of those people are super nice and also good at school -- don't just write them off!

- show up for your friends: go to their games, their concerts, their art shows, their standup nights. show them that what matters to them matters to you, too

- set aside a night to do a group activity with others: whether your vibe is wednesday night trivia, a weekly "terrible movie" showing, or a get-high-and-watch-nature-documentaries-type thing, these are great ways to liven up the week and de-stress

- this is a great time to figure out who from high school really matters to you: you don't have to force relationships that were built mostly on convenience if there are friends at uni with whom you click more. people you became friends with purely based on the coincidence of where your parents lived do not have to be your forever friends. they can be! but they don't have to be

personal

- don't expect too much of yourself: a 4.0 is not the end-all, be-all. if your family or somebody tells you it is, tell them to call me, and i will personally talk some sense into them

- take advantage of university support services: mental health counseling, free yoga classes, multi-cultural societies, etc

- drink water: please, please don't get kidney stones in the middle of the semester, says the girl who got kidney stones in the middle of the semester

- let yourself take breaks: if you need to lie to a professor and say you're sick when really you're just feeling down and you need to sit in bed and watch a movie, that's totally valid

- don't freak about individual assignments: my students come to me freaking over a B+ and i tell them, honey, no job interviewer is ever going to ask you about your second paper from communications 101. i wish i'd known that

- go see speakers if there's someone interesting coming to campus: these talks are always cooler than you expect. i'll never get over the fact that i didn't go see anita hill when she came to my undergrad

- do your laundry on the same night every week: i can't explain why this is so helpful but it really is

- keep up on the news and the memes: read the school paper, the school blog, the memes page -- college politics and inside jokes are fun and convoluted and fascinating

- set the groundwork for long-term self-care: all of the above is really just to say -- university isn't just for learning about the french revolution, it's also about learning how to balance, how to handle failure, how to ask for help, how to make a salad that doesn't totally suck, etc

(180902) namjoon - i’m fine

like if you use or save  (´･ᴥ･`)੭･ﾟ:* ♡

WOAHHHH, another masterpiece chapter from sibi!!! i LOVE LOVE how fluffy and sweet the beginning of this chapter is and then we get the nasty angsty ending but IT IS VERY MUCH WELL WRITTEN!! KEEP GOING SIBI, I LOVE YOUR WORKS SO MUCH <333

↳ Index [Chapter 13 - Sunshine]

Pairing: Taehyung x f.Reader 

Warnings: cute domestic moments, Taehyung being a master in seduction, he is also whipped for her, THEIR DOMESTIC MOMENTS MAKE ME SCREAM, but also feelings of betrayal, slight violence and a fight :(

Wordcount: 8.8k 

a/n: i am going to punch a pillow

You open your eyes and blink in the bright room. You inhale deeply. 

“Mhm pancakes”, you murmur and yawn, “that’d be cool right now." 

Dishes clatter and only then do you realise that your bedroom door is open and the smell of pancakes actually comes from your kitchen. You lift your head and furrow your brows. Well, this is interesting. You ought to check it out. 

"Good morning, did you have a pleasant night?” Taehyung greets you before you can, having his back turned to you. He must have heard you come outside. Vampire hearing and all (again the books you read educated you a lot).

“Are you making pancakes?” you ask, waddling over to him. 

You look into the pan and over to the plate on which pancakes are already stacked. They look different, let’s put it that way. 

Taehyung sneaks a glance your way. 

“That look says that you aren’t pleased with the results.”

“No, they uh, look interesting”, you assure him, “I like how the edges are burned and the middle is still white. I never had them this way before." 

"Are you mocking me?” Taehyung raises an eyebrow at you. 

“I’m not” you assure him and chuckle fondly, “they look good, don’t worry." 

Taehyung clicks his tongue in distaste and looks back at the pan. He flips the pancake, cringing when the edges turn out burned and the middle white again. You chuckle, giving his middle a quick hug as you press a chaste kiss to his shoulder. You make your way to the fridge afterwards and open it to get the milk. 

Taehyung fills up the pan with new dough in the meantime. The faint sizzling is almost relaxing in the otherwise quiet room. 

"You know, you don’t need to cook for me. I’m happy with getting a soggy sandwich from the store”, you say and pour water into your water cooker, “as long as I can have my cup of tea, I’m happy.”

“I can’t accept that. A soggy sandwich from the store is below you”, he murmurs.

You sneak a glance his way, having to grin. Of course it is. With your grin still embedded on your face, you sort through your tea cabinet.

“Do you want a cup too?” you ask him.

“Oh, that would be wonderful”, he says, flipping the pancake, “aha!” he exclaims.

You look at him, “what is it?”

“You see, this one looks fairly decent”, he says proudly, tilting the pan so you could take a look at the (surprisingly) golden pancake.

“Ooh, I’m impressed, you mastered the skill on the last pancake. Congrats”, you say, having to chuckle.

Taehyung sends you a look of distaste and clicks his tongue.

“Mock me all you want, I’m not the one having to eat them”, he murmurs.

You scoff and laugh in disbelief, leaning against the counter.

“So I have to eat them? Is that so?”

Taehyung looks at you from the corner of his eyes, wanting to stay serious but having to grin in the end. He chuckles and shakes his head.

You turn your attention back to the two tea cups, pouring the hot water over the teabags and watching them dye the water golden brown.

You feel happy, which is funny because you can’t seem to remember the last time you felt this kind of happy. The warm kind of happy, the one that makes you smile all the time and no matter what you do, you just can’t stop smiling.

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once in a blue moon, at breakfast in the middle of august, the old friend group is taking a sweet trip down the memory lane, hyperventilating over some stupid shit one of us did two summers ago, recalling the same crazy story from five different perspectives. and then out of the blue, as we catch our breaths from the laughing pains, someone drops the most destructive "good old times" bomb. it hits like a train: nothing had to change, yet it did.

Cooking For Two (KSJ x F!Reader)

pairing: ex-boyfriend Seokjin! x reader genre(s): just angst... i'm sorry au(s): exes to exes word count: 1.3k warnings: lots of regret, pining, misunderstandings, mentions of a past fight, Seokjin gets burned, both literally and figuratively rating: PG15

summary: based on this tweet, "seokjin the type to make too much pasta after a breakup because he's used to cooking for two" T_T

a/n: i was itching to write some good angst... and my muse (aka Jin) responded! this is sad, and i made myself cry. tagging @beckysworld7 because you encouraged me hehe <3 this is pretty unedited btw

Seokjin's ears fill with a loud hiss, tearing his gaze away from the soft patter of rain outside his window, and back to the boiling water on the stove. His eyes widen as he takes in the sight of the water overflowing and sizzling on the hot stove top. Cursing internally, he chastises himself for not remembering to put a wooden spoon over the top. It was a habit he rarely forgot, until, of course, his life had been tossed so far afield that he had lost all sense of familiarity.

And so, he continued on, fighting tooth and nail to hold on to the parts of his life that defined who he was before it had happened. However, the breakup had left him broken, empty, watching you take the best parts of him, of you both, and throw them away like they’d never meant anything at all.

He reaches over to pull the frothing pot off the stove, yelping as the blistering heat of the hot metal kisses his bare skin. Shaking his hand, he yells in pain and runs cold water over the burn, searching for some sort of relief. The taste of ash coats his mouth, and he’s not sure whether it’s from the pasta he’d nearly burnt, or the acrid memories that have begun to rise up from the deep place he’d buried them so many months ago.

Pappardelle with homemade bolognese sauce. He’d made the dish a thousand times before. It had been your favorite after every night out, every big celebration, even on rainy days, like today, when you weren't feeling well. The fresh, al dente noodles and the simmering hearty sauce were irrevocably tied to the memory of your relationship, each bite creating a different snapshot in his brain of times that had passed long ago.

Every Friday night since the last time he saw you, Seokjin made two bowls of pasta, sitting alone at the dining table, breathless and begging for you to walk through the door. Waiting until the steaming bowls ran cold, he finally accepted that you weren't coming today. After finishing one bowl, he'd put away the other one, sneaking bites of the cold, rubbery dough throughout the weekend; coming home from another failed date, or right before bed when the longing was at its worst.

He heard Namjoon’s voice in the back of his head, chastising him that the way he was living wasn’t healthy, that it’d been too long since you had gone. Seokjin knew his friend was right. But Seokjin didn’t know how to live his life without you, just like he’d never known how to only make one serving of your favorite recipe. And so he sat there, in the oppressive loneliness of the apartment you two had once shared, and lost himself.

Shuddering from the cold, he gazes over to the warm, calm flames that burn in the fireplace. At the end of it all, he hadn’t even remembered what caused the fight that ended it - all he remembers was the rage, the inferno that had erupted between the two of you. It was like nothing he had experienced before - hot, angry, and scathing. Blazing down everything in its path. The bitter stench of regret had settled deep inside his lungs as your footsteps ran out and closed the door behind you.

The doorbell rings, followed by the distinct sound of three rhythmic knocks, and Seokjin freezes.

Swinging the door open, his dazed mind wonders if it’s all been a dream. Because it’s you, cheeks red from the cold, bundled up in the plaid scarf and red mittens he’d gotten you for your very first Christmas together. You look beautiful, and Seokjin’s heart hurts all over again. Because you’re not his to love anymore.

You look towards his downturned gaze, and immediately think to yourself that it was a mistake coming here. The two of you stand on opposite sides of the threshold, forced into an impasse of your own doing.

Deciding to break the silence, you clear your throat, and Jin’s glassy eyes meet yours, pain contained within their umber depths.

“I’m so sorry for showing up like this,” you gasp, not realizing the words come out as a sob. “But I was making a dish, umm, the pappardelle with bolognese. And I realized I left the Le Creuset pot with you.”

Taking a deep breath, you force air into your lungs, mustering up the strength to continue while feeling the tears prick your eyelashes.

“You probably don’t want to give it back,” you mumble in the smallest voice you can manage. “And it’s unfair of me to ask for it, but I needed to make something for a thing I have to go to and I remembered you, uhmm, I mean your recipe.”

Peering through your lids at Seokjin, you watch him gulp as he tries to force a response, struggling to get the words out.

“I have the pot,” he garbles, voice hoarse. “Take it, and don’t worry about the pasta. I made some. You can have it too.”

Looking your ex-boyfriend in the eyes, the man you thought you’d have forever with, a sob escapes your throat, and your heavy breaths echo in the frosty air as he waits for you to respond.

“W-what do you mean take it?” you whimper, fingers itching underneath your mittens to reach out and brush a stray strand of hair out of his eyes.

“I make it every Friday,” he whispers. “Two bowls. You can take the other bowl with you.”

You watch him disappear into the apartment, coming back out with a sizzling pot of pasta in his hands. He pauses, visage lost deep in contemplation, before the lines in his face disappear and he gives you a soft smile.

“Or,” he goes on. “You could come in and have some with me? There’ll probably be enough leftovers for you to take home with you.”

You feel a pit in your stomach at his proposition, glancing over at his pretty eyes and parted lips as they hopefully await your response.

Looking away, you stare down the hall of the apartment complex, not wanting to meet his gaze as you push your red mitten to the side and Seokjin catches a glimpse at your blanched fingers.

A sparkling, oval-cut diamond sits on your left ring finger, and through your pounding heartbeat, you hear Seokjin let out a pained whine.

“I-, I’m so sorry, Jin. I never should have come,” you weep, knowing that if you looked him in the eyes one more time, you’d fall in love all over again.

Turning on your heels, you leave him devastated, thoughts swimming with uncertainty about the fiancé waiting for you in the parlor of his parents’ house. Knowing deep in your soul that part of your heart would forever belong to the man you left at the threshold, clutching the steaming dish in his hands.

Slamming the pot onto the counter, Jin chokes on his tears, heaving in between deep breaths as he watches you run away through the window.

Lifting the spoon to his lips, he inhales a large bite of the dish, hoping to nurse his broken heart, only to have a dull flavorless bite coat his tongue. He’d forgotten the salt. Mourning the loss of his finesse for the dish that had once warmed his heart, he can’t help but remark at the forfeit of his love for you as well.

He feels rage overtake him, throwing the pot against the wall. The tasteless rubbery mess along with the shattered remnants of the last item of yours he’d kept painting a gut-wrenching portrait as he slumps to the floor.

He doesn’t know how long he stays there, tears leaking from his eyes as his whole body shakes.

When the clock strikes midnight, Seokjin rises, picking up the bland mess in his hands and throwing it in the trash. For good.

A/N pt. 2: Thanks for reading! As always, any feedback or comments are much appreciated, but I appreciate you all anyway. Lots of love, Isi 💜

Cooking For Two (KSJ x F!Reader)

pairing: ex-boyfriend Seokjin! x reader genre(s): just angst... i'm sorry au(s): exes to exes word count: 1.3k warnings: lots of regret, pining, misunderstandings, mentions of a past fight, Seokjin gets burned, both literally and figuratively rating: PG15

summary: based on this tweet, "seokjin the type to make too much pasta after a breakup because he's used to cooking for two" T_T

a/n: i was itching to write some good angst... and my muse (aka Jin) responded! this is sad, and i made myself cry. tagging @beckysworld7 because you encouraged me hehe <3 this is pretty unedited btw

Seokjin's ears fill with a loud hiss, tearing his gaze away from the soft patter of rain outside his window, and back to the boiling water on the stove. His eyes widen as he takes in the sight of the water overflowing and sizzling on the hot stove top. Cursing internally, he chastises himself for not remembering to put a wooden spoon over the top. It was a habit he rarely forgot, until, of course, his life had been tossed so far afield that he had lost all sense of familiarity.

And so, he continued on, fighting tooth and nail to hold on to the parts of his life that defined who he was before it had happened. However, the breakup had left him broken, empty, watching you take the best parts of him, of you both, and throw them away like they’d never meant anything at all.

He reaches over to pull the frothing pot off the stove, yelping as the blistering heat of the hot metal kisses his bare skin. Shaking his hand, he yells in pain and runs cold water over the burn, searching for some sort of relief. The taste of ash coats his mouth, and he’s not sure whether it’s from the pasta he’d nearly burnt, or the acrid memories that have begun to rise up from the deep place he’d buried them so many months ago.

Pappardelle with homemade bolognese sauce. He’d made the dish a thousand times before. It had been your favorite after every night out, every big celebration, even on rainy days, like today, when you weren't feeling well. The fresh, al dente noodles and the simmering hearty sauce were irrevocably tied to the memory of your relationship, each bite creating a different snapshot in his brain of times that had passed long ago.

Every Friday night since the last time he saw you, Seokjin made two bowls of pasta, sitting alone at the dining table, breathless and begging for you to walk through the door. Waiting until the steaming bowls ran cold, he finally accepted that you weren't coming today. After finishing one bowl, he'd put away the other one, sneaking bites of the cold, rubbery dough throughout the weekend; coming home from another failed date, or right before bed when the longing was at its worst.

He heard Namjoon’s voice in the back of his head, chastising him that the way he was living wasn’t healthy, that it’d been too long since you had gone. Seokjin knew his friend was right. But Seokjin didn’t know how to live his life without you, just like he’d never known how to only make one serving of your favorite recipe. And so he sat there, in the oppressive loneliness of the apartment you two had once shared, and lost himself.

Shuddering from the cold, he gazes over to the warm, calm flames that burn in the fireplace. At the end of it all, he hadn’t even remembered what caused the fight that ended it - all he remembers was the rage, the inferno that had erupted between the two of you. It was like nothing he had experienced before - hot, angry, and scathing. Blazing down everything in its path. The bitter stench of regret had settled deep inside his lungs as your footsteps ran out and closed the door behind you.

The doorbell rings, followed by the distinct sound of three rhythmic knocks, and Seokjin freezes.

Swinging the door open, his dazed mind wonders if it’s all been a dream. Because it’s you, cheeks red from the cold, bundled up in the plaid scarf and red mittens he’d gotten you for your very first Christmas together. You look beautiful, and Seokjin’s heart hurts all over again. Because you’re not his to love anymore.

You look towards his downturned gaze, and immediately think to yourself that it was a mistake coming here. The two of you stand on opposite sides of the threshold, forced into an impasse of your own doing.

Deciding to break the silence, you clear your throat, and Jin’s glassy eyes meet yours, pain contained within their umber depths.

“I’m so sorry for showing up like this,” you gasp, not realizing the words come out as a sob. “But I was making a dish, umm, the pappardelle with bolognese. And I realized I left the Le Creuset pot with you.”

Taking a deep breath, you force air into your lungs, mustering up the strength to continue while feeling the tears prick your eyelashes.

“You probably don’t want to give it back,” you mumble in the smallest voice you can manage. “And it’s unfair of me to ask for it, but I needed to make something for a thing I have to go to and I remembered you, uhmm, I mean your recipe.”

Peering through your lids at Seokjin, you watch him gulp as he tries to force a response, struggling to get the words out.

“I have the pot,” he garbles, voice hoarse. “Take it, and don’t worry about the pasta. I made some. You can have it too.”

Looking your ex-boyfriend in the eyes, the man you thought you’d have forever with, a sob escapes your throat, and your heavy breaths echo in the frosty air as he waits for you to respond.

“W-what do you mean take it?” you whimper, fingers itching underneath your mittens to reach out and brush a stray strand of hair out of his eyes.

“I make it every Friday,” he whispers. “Two bowls. You can take the other bowl with you.”

You watch him disappear into the apartment, coming back out with a sizzling pot of pasta in his hands. He pauses, visage lost deep in contemplation, before the lines in his face disappear and he gives you a soft smile.

“Or,” he goes on. “You could come in and have some with me? There’ll probably be enough leftovers for you to take home with you.”

You feel a pit in your stomach at his proposition, glancing over at his pretty eyes and parted lips as they hopefully await your response.

Looking away, you stare down the hall of the apartment complex, not wanting to meet his gaze as you push your red mitten to the side and Seokjin catches a glimpse at your blanched fingers.

A sparkling, oval-cut diamond sits on your left ring finger, and through your pounding heartbeat, you hear Seokjin let out a pained whine.

“I-, I’m so sorry, Jin. I never should have come,” you weep, knowing that if you looked him in the eyes one more time, you’d fall in love all over again.

Turning on your heels, you leave him devastated, thoughts swimming with uncertainty about the fiancé waiting for you in the parlor of his parents’ house. Knowing deep in your soul that part of your heart would forever belong to the man you left at the threshold, clutching the steaming dish in his hands.

Slamming the pot onto the counter, Jin chokes on his tears, heaving in between deep breaths as he watches you run away through the window.

Lifting the spoon to his lips, he inhales a large bite of the dish, hoping to nurse his broken heart, only to have a dull flavorless bite coat his tongue. He’d forgotten the salt. Mourning the loss of his finesse for the dish that had once warmed his heart, he can’t help but remark at the forfeit of his love for you as well.

He feels rage overtake him, throwing the pot against the wall. The tasteless rubbery mess along with the shattered remnants of the last item of yours he’d kept painting a gut-wrenching portrait as he slumps to the floor.

He doesn’t know how long he stays there, tears leaking from his eyes as his whole body shakes.

When the clock strikes midnight, Seokjin rises, picking up the bland mess in his hands and throwing it in the trash. For good.

A/N pt. 2: Thanks for reading! As always, any feedback or comments are much appreciated, but I appreciate you all anyway. Lots of love, Isi 💜

fuck i almost cried

Can’t Keep Lying

PLOT: Jin’s been distant lately. Maybe it’s the work flow, maybe it’s something you said. Or maybe, maybe it’s just the girl at work.

Next

Masterlist

Genre: Angst

Pairing: Jin x Reader

Warnings: Language

…

It was happening again. Jin was absent. Well, not completely. Jin was there, as he always was in the late afternoon, sitting at the kitchen table eating his dinner. But you could see it in his glossy eyes, see it in the way his fork mindlessly pushed his food around the porcelain plate, he was absent. His mind was elsewhere whilst his still body sat in the seat of your kitchen. This had become your normal. The chatter and laughter you two shared before, replaced by an unsteady silence ever since he began his new acting role. You cleared your throat, his eyes finally showing some sign of life as he glanced up at you.

“How was the filming today?” You asked, hoping you sounded more uplifting than you felt.

“It was great!” He also smiled back at you, a taut, fake smile that you’d been receiving more and more lately. You were becoming increasingly aware of Jin’s changes in behavior, that fake happiness had began to forge on his face often. Normally, he could go on for hours. He would tell you about his day, he’d tell you what he’d done and what he was up to. He’d always talk in a very animated and vivid way, fueled with enthusiasm and excitement. Then he’d lovingly question you about your day, you’d go watch a movie or go for a walk together, and then curl up to sleep. That had been your routine. But Jin didn’t continue the conversation further, you knew that after he was done eating he’d go shower and fall asleep before you could say anything. He no longer made jokes, or kept you up teasingly poking at your sides and chatting. You couldn’t even remember the last time you’d heard him genuinely laugh.

“Jin.” You said. You were done letting him put on this little act, you needed to know what was wrong. “Talk to me.”

He didn’t look up. Jin’s eyebrows knit together, a concerned look covering his face as he set his fork down.

“You know that I would never want to hurt you, right?” He asked. You nodded, even though he was still not looking at you. “.. And I realize, that as much as I would hate to, I’m going to. Because there is no way I can go about this, that will not hurt you. There’s no good way to let you know this.”

You pushed your plate away from you, your heart was pounding. You were afraid now, everything suddenly seemed at stake. You were running over the memories in your head, wondering if you’d ever done anything wrong, if you had anything to do with what he was about to say. Jin finally looked at you, you nodded at him to go on.

“As you know, I’ve gotten along with the crew on the film I’m working on. There’s a lot of people on it. The director is talented and kind to us, the cast members are amazing and great to work with. There’s Jiwoo, Jaehyun and.. Oh, I did tell you about Seoyeon, didn’t I?” He asked, the tone of his voice became more nervous at the mention of her. You did the only thing you’d been able to do, nod. This was where it was getting difficult, Jin was visibly hesitating to speak again as he reached out and held onto your hand. You wanted to pull away from him, but something told you this might be the last time you got the chance. So you gripped onto his hand and listened. “Well, Seoyeon. She is a love interest of my character, you know that. We were both understanding of it, it’s only a role and it’s part of the job. We did not hang out afterwards, she knows I’m with you. We kept it all professional. One day we went out to celebrate the shoot going well, and we spoke. After that, we kept in touch. Then we started hanging out together on set.. And off set. I’ve realized over time, that maybe, well..” Jin was not one to stammer over his words, but he couldn’t help it. “I’ve realized that-”

“It’s not just part of the role.” You whispered, almost afraid to say it. In the short silence that followed, you wanted Jin to laugh and shake his head and tell you that you were wrong. Unfortunately that’s not what he did. Instead he just bit his lip and looked away.

“I think I fell in love with her.”

You were frozen. Everything was gone for a second, and when you finally came to your senses you felt the warmth in your limbs and realized that your hand was still in his. You yanked your hand away, the chair legs forcefully skidding on the ground as you came to a stand. Jin jumped in surprise, he was also rising to his feet. There was finally emotion back on his face, fear and confusion.

“I love you Y/N.” Jin assured you, but it was of no comfort.

“No, no you don’t. Maybe you did, but you know you don’t anymore. That’s what you’re trying to tell me, right?” You choked.

“.. I just can’t stay with you anymore.”

“So you told her you’d leave me? So she’s waiting for you to come back, single? I was just the obstacle in your way?” You spat. The silence from the male proved that you were correct yet again. Why couldn’t you just be wrong? He looked composed, serious, maybe a little hurt but not anything compared to how you were feeling. His empty hand was back at his side now, his eyes searching you for understanding.

“Then I guess she gets what she wants. I want you-” You paused as your voice cracked, taking a breath before trying again. “I want you, to grab your stuff, and get out of my house.”

Jin’s eyes widened in shock. He knew that it would resort to this eventually, but hearing it is something different. He never actually did mean to bring you so much distress, but he needed to tell you the truth while he still could, and a part of him really did love you. He moved towards you, trying to grab onto your arm and mumbling your name softly. But you pressed your hands into his chest and pushed him away. “No! I’m going to go outside, and go for a walk. By the time I get back, you better be the hell out of my house!” You stormed past him, your throat was drowning with the tears you were swallowing back. You threw the front door open, stomping down the stairs and walking down the sidewalk. The sky was turning dark with night time, the wind had also began to pick up. Your lungs filled up with chilling air everytime you sobbed, the cold was nipping at the tears on your cheeks turning them into trails on your red skin. But you refused to return. It’s a surreal feeling. Heart break is in every movie, every book, every song. People all over the world who pour out their feelings of pain, and you can sympathise with them, but it’s completely different when it’s you. To realize that this person that brings you so much joy, who accompanies you everywhere and makes you who you are, is going to be gone. You don’t get to wake up to him anymore, you don’t get to hold his hand, you don’t get to kiss him. You do not get Kim Seokjin anymore, and there is no one in the world like him that can replace the memory he’s left. The worst part of it all, is knowing that someone else will. He is someone else’s joy now, leaving you wondering if perhaps you just weren’t good enough to make him stay.

You were walking and shivering for so long now, you couldn’t feel your toes. You finally decided to make it back before it got any colder or darker than it already was. As your house came into view, you stopped when you realized that Jin’s car was gone. You stared wide eyed at the driveway, slowly piecing together what had happened again. And then you started running, your shoes pounding the cement as you sprinted down the road and to your front door, throwing it open. You started to take big unsteady breaths as you looked around, his jacket was gone, his shoes at the door were gone, his papers on the coffee table were gone. You ran up the stairs, down the hallway and into your shared room hurrying to the closet. You flung the large doors open so fast they collided loudly with the wall but you didn’t care, your eyes scanning the small room. The shirts he had hanging up were gone, his pants were gone, his shoes and hats were gone.. Jin was gone. You thought you’d already cried it all out, but then there were more tears pouring down your cheeks. You stumbled back, slumping down besides the bed and bawling your eyes out. So that was it. You’d told him to leave, and he had. You’d held his hand one last time, and now you wouldn’t ever again. Your cries were muffled by your knees as you pulled them up to your chest, clutching onto your jeans.

“Come back.”