#scorose

ఠ_ఠ Is it my fault

ass kicker

even in your last moments with itoshi sae, you can't bring yourself to say what you truly want.

itoshi sae x gn!reader, angst

there’s an inkling of guilt that eats at you. “am i selfish?” for wanting to see pain in sae’s eyes, for wanting to see an indication that he’s just as hurt as you are?

but, in front of you, he sits with his lips pressed tight. he’s purposely avoiding your gaze, eyes downcast on his intertwined (ringless) fingers in front of him, and he’s still. his eyes are indifferent, maybe even apathetic. it’s a cruel feeling, knowing that even in the end, you would never be able to reach him. you want him to look at you— you want to look him in the eye with a strong facade and ask him all these questions that plague your thoughts, but instead the words die on your tongue.

you just want him to look at you. but he doesn’t.

a beat of silence. “do you love them?” the question rolls off your tongue, and you wait with baited breath for his answer. though, you already know what it’s going to be, and you wonder why you’re even bothering asking. for acceptance? for closure? or maybe in your mind, you think that as long as he doesn’t say it, it’s not true. (but you already know, it is true.)

another beat of silence. “i do,” sae answers and his voice is almost too low to hear, but the words ring loud and clear in your ears. it repeats like a broken record in your mind, and you can’t ignore the pang you feel in your heart. his eyes finally flicker up to meet yours, and yet you feel yourself tearing your gaze away. the part of you that yearns for him starts to feel like it’s burning under his stare. “i’m sorry,” he adds, but it feels like more of an afterthought.

or maybe damage control. you don’t really know.

you feel like crying at him, you feel like cussing him out, you feel like hurting him the same way he had with you— “you have nothing to be sorry for, sae.” you end up pathetically reassuring him. “i understand.” you don't, though you say it anyways. it’s hard to miss the frown that forms on his lips at your words, and he reaches out to hold your hands in his one last time. but, maybe to save your last shred of dignity, you pull your hands away.

for a brief moment, you think about staying. maybe you could sit here with him for a little longer, pretend that something could change. but the ring on your finger is starting to burn on your skin, and even the once-shiny diamond seems dim— a mockery of you and sae.

there's a small clink on the table when you finally rip it off your fingers. sae isn't able to bring himself to look at it.

your feet move on their own, dragging you toward the door. each step you take away from sae feels heavy. it feels wrong; it feels like a part of you is being left behind with him, but you don’t turn back.

you can’t.

©rindreamery, 2024

So, an update to windtrace, I only played for protogems, almost puked the first two times I played, I kind of ended up enjoying it.

But I don't want another co-op event any time soon

dude, but like romantically

Characters: Mark Lee & female reader

Setting & genre: college au, friends to lovers, ‘and they were roommates’, slice of life, fluff, comedy

Summary: You expected nothing but stress from your last college semester, so when Mark Lee came along and called you dude, you had to re-calculate everything.

Warnings: semi-typical college parties, alcohol consumption, Mark is precious (#SoftMarkLeeHours) and a funny drunk, he also ruins eggs like a pro, slow burn, stressing out your friends with your obliviousness like it was graded, i know nothing about basketball and it shows, includes discussion about the stress and uncertainties of being a senior at college, bunch of nct and 99-line cameos

Words: 10k

Author’s note: this in no way tries to represent korean universities’ last semester since i wrote it based on my own alma mater. the whole thing actually started because Johnny said Mark plays the guitar shirtless in the dorms

This is dedicated to @restlessmaknae because I thought a college au with a 99-liner would be quite fitting today. Congratulations on officially graduating! <3

Mark Lee was a friend of a friend.

Sure, you had seen him around before. You had known of him just like anyone else who wasn’t living under a rock during their college years since he was not only a player of the university’s basketball team (Go Eagles, the crowd would cheer enthusiastically) but he was also part of Johnny’s crew which meant he was at every social get-together this campus had seen.

So yeah, you had probably run into him at some party, maybe even clinked your shot glass to his once without caring too much about who sat at the table, maybe bumped into him on the corridor of the apartment complex close to college where most of the residents were students you knew hence where half of the house parties you had attended had taken place. You had heard that he was a funny drunk, that he had the most random philosophical questions at 2AM in the morning, that his history with eggs had gone deep (whatever that meant, you didn’t dare to ask) but most of all, that he was overall a nice guy. Nobody had ever breathed a bad word about Mark Lee, so that was the only reason why you were contemplating on agreeing to this ridiculous idea despite not even knowing the guy.

“Come on, it’s not like you have to move in with him until you go to retirement. You need a place to stay and he needs a new flatmate to share the costs with. I’m pretty sure he would be down for a short-term stay too,” Johnny pushed the plate of snacks towards you as if he told you to stop moping and just take this opportunity that had presented itself in front of you.

“And you’re not saying that only because you feel bad for ditching him for your girlfriend?” you raised a brow challengingly which earned you a snicker from said girl.

You and Sohyun had shared a few classes and became quick friends despite her being a year above. It was through her that you had gotten to know Johnny and his broad friend group at all. The couple decided to move together now that Sohyun was about to start her masters and that left Johnny’s old flatmate alone.

“Well, it’s not me crying over my French fries in a diner because I have a shitty landlord kicking me out, am I?” Johnny retorted and you knew he was right.

You needed a solution and you needed it quickly because your landlord apparently got the offer of the century and would sell his apartment to some big corporation to build an office there. You got exactly two weeks to move out and you had already spent one panicking. At this point you really just needed a place to stay until you figured your shit out and found a proper place to live because the new semester was coming up quickly.

“I hate it when you’re right,” you muttered under your breath, sipping on your shake with a resigned sigh.

“Then you must hate me a lot. Don’t worry, Mark is a great flatmate. Just don’t ask him to cook for you because he’ll end up burning the kitchen down or poisoning you,” Johnny shrugged and it made you chuckle until you realized that you were the only one laughing. It must have been a joke… right?

Or maybe not, because the moment you stepped into the flat for the first time, you could already smell something burning. Luckily, there was no smoke or any other worrying factor but still, you froze out in the hallway, toeing off your shoes tentatively.

“Hello?” you questioned in a small, uncertain voice while pulling your suitcase after you.

Mark Lee apparently agreed to you moving in to his empty room without even meeting you before because to quote Johnny ‘yeah, he was cool with it’ which was crazy to you but maybe it was just you, overthinking everything and being paranoid about sleeping under the same roof as people who could turn out to be serial killers. Okay, not to be so drastic but still. You are moving in with a stranger though, so maybe you’re just as crazy.

“Hey!” A boy, familiar enough but not quite, walks out of what you assume is the kitchen with a plate and a huge grin plastered on his face as if he didn’t wear his tee inside out and had bed hair while doing so. His round glasses sat on his nose a bit lopsided but it only added to his casual home-y look.

“Toasts?” he offered the content of the plate in hands and ah, so it was the smell, you note, glancing at the black spots on the bread.

“Uhm, no, thanks,” you mumbled slowly, not wanting to offend him by rejecting his kindness right off the bat but you also tried to keep yourself to Johnny’s advice which for once didn’t seem unfounded. Who let this guy into the kitchen when he could burn even his toast?

“Wise choice, man, I’m not even sure this is good for my health to be fair,” Mark Lee giggled, honest to god giggled, with a boyish smile stretching across his face and bit into the toast anyways before he showed you to your room, mouth half-full with bread.

He didn’t ask dozens of questions like why you were looking for a room, how long you were planning on staying, about your habits like the owners of all the other places you had checked out had done, instead he kept apologizing about the state of the room because he hadn’t really cleaned it since Johnny had left. He even helped you carry one of the suitcases after he put down the rest of his burnt breakfast. He told you about the neighbours (like the scary girl with the barking dog across the corridor and the Chinese students right next door) and house rules about the apartment like the recycling principles and how they had this system with Johnny about taking out the rubbish.

“Not that I expect you to adapt to everything I used to do with Johnny, just you know it seems fair,” he quickly explained, looking a bit anxious about this whole rules thing until you told him that it was okay, he should have continued living how he had done before and you would go along with it. You didn’t want him to make exceptions because you weren’t friends or just because you were a girl. You believed in equality, so you could take out the rubbish just as much as he could clean the bathroom after himself. Mark chuckled at that and nodded with a wide smile before remembering his poor coffee that must have gone cold on the kitchen counter. You told him you would be okay alone, packing out, and you would look for him if you had questions. The boy who had previously said that he was cool with you moving in seemed way too relieved hearing that, so maybe you weren’t the only one worrying after all. It started off well though.

Maybe it was because you had never had close guy friends before – since you only tended to befriend guys through your friends already – but living with Mark was a much simpler affair than what you had thought. You had all these crazy what ifs about boy and girl cohabitation and the awkwardness of it but the first time the boy saw you in your shorts and Harry Potter tee you used as a PJ he was like yo dude, which house would you be in? I’m a Hufflepuff. So maybe it was rather just his personality, making everything nice and casual, so all your previous stereotypical fears about living with a guy had disappeared once you realized your flatmate straight out dude-zoned you.

"Yeah, that sounds like Mark," Mina laughed when you met for the first time since your move in with the boy. She had known him because they had shared a few classes and because she had to interview him after last season's winning match for the university journal. “He is practically friends with everyone.”

And he really was. The basketball team was one thing but you once went to the corner coffee shop together on your way to the campus and he was on first name basis with the baristas then you ran into some upperclassmen who were clearly fond of the boy and he had mentioned so many names and programmes (dinner with Jungwoo on Friday, Ten needs him for something on Saturday then helping Jisung with an assignment on Sunday and so on) only a few days into you living together that you wouldn’t have been surprised if he knew the whole university. He seemed to have a social battery incapable of running out and seeing how easy-going he was with everyone, you were not really surprised when he asked about going to a party together only a week and half into living together. You were actually in the middle of doing your makeup when there was a knock on your door and inviting him in, Mark peaked in.

“Hey, are you coming to Johnny and Sohyun’s housewarming party?” he asked and when you told him that you were just getting ready actually, his whole face brightened like fairy lights during the festive season. “Cool, wanna go together?”

“Sure,” you nodded because you didn't see anything weird in it. Actually, it would have been even weirder if you went your separate ways when you lived at the same place and your friends knew.

Mark disappeared from your door then and came back not much later with a white tee with a funny print and a black sleeveless band shirt, holding them up for you to see.

“Which is better? I mean, I like the white one but I’m a bit afraid things will get out of hands tonight and I will spill something all over it, but it’s not that hot to–”

“Wear the black and put on a jacket,” you decided before Mark could have gotten into his long psychological rants about the subjectivity of body temperature. You honestly doubted he would have gotten cold wearing a sleeveless shirt at a party while based on what you had heard of him, you could indeed see him ruining his white clothes with something sticky and colorful. Mark didn't even question your choice though, just went with it with a thumbs up and you had to admit he looked good in that varsity jacket he had thrown over the tee.

There was no awkwardness in the air as the two of you were riding the subway, unlike what you expected, because Make made it easy to talk about even the ridiculous things. He told you funny stories about Johnny and in exchange you told him how you had gotten to know his girlfriend and once you two had gotten to the apartment, greeted by the hosts with wide smiles, you gave Sohyun the kitchen supplies kit you had brought (and Mark helped you carry with more enthusiasm you would have expected from someone who hated the gym) thinking of the girl’s shock at the lack of proper equipment at their new place. Sohyun beamed at you and nudged Johnny in the side who in exchange offered you two welcome drinks.

Afterwards, you parted ways with Mark, him being swept up by Jaehyun from the basketball team and you looking for your friends. It was like any other loud and fun party, you were pleasantly buzzed but not too much because you knew your limits when you ran into your flatmate later that night again. Or rather he bumped into you, literally, and over the course of the night you had to realize that Mark’s tipsy antics were indeed funny.

“And then… then d’you know what Jeno said?” he tripped over his own words so immersed in the story half of which you didn’t even catch while trying to help him keep his balance. Gosh, being an athlete wasn’t he supposed to hold his liquor better? Or maybe he did, it was just that everyone seemed to push drinks into his hands and he was too nice to reject them.

“I don’t know. What did he say?” you questioned, partly actually curious about the end of the story and partly just to not ruin the mood for the boy. But Mark’s reaction, all wide eyed and genuine, made you chuckle.

“Huh, dunno that’s why I asked you,” he blurted out, looking honestly confused while you not only had no idea what Jeno had said but you didn’t even know who he was.

“Okay, buddy, it’s time to get you home,” you told him and felt like the responsible friend when you had to convince him by promising to buy ice cream because he got all pouty and whiny about wanting to stay because he had so much fun. But you had seen Johnny carry him home before, so you took upon this flatmate duty and left together with him before Mark could have burnt himself (or set something on fire) with the flaming shot he saw Ten making in the kitchen. By the time you made it to the bus stop, Mark stopped whining. Instead he asked you why Johnny didn’t come and you had to remind him that they weren’t living together anymore.

“Oh, right,” Mark mumbled, dozing off on your shoulder as soon as you found a seat on the bus. He looked so cute and peaceful you felt almost bad for waking him up when you got near your neighborhood.

You helped him stumble into his room, preparing painkillers and water for him, helping him take off the jacket he was ready to sleep in before leaving him in his room. You just got out of the shower, ready for bed when you saw Johnny’s text, thanking you for taking care of Mark. The elder might have acted all cool and casual but you got to know pretty fast that he basically looked at the boy as his baby brother, so no wonder he was worried. But lucky for him, you believed it was only human decency to make sure your flatmate got home safely.

Mark though seemed awfully embarrassed by his actions the next day, promising that he wasn’t always like this and swearing he could actually take care of himself. He also insisted he would treat you to something as a thank you and even though you kept saying it was nothing, who were you to say no to free food?

Weeks passed and you eased into this comfortable situation so well that you stopped looking for other apartments. For one, you didn't really have time besides your studies and internship to stress over something like housing and Johnny was right: Mark was a good flatmate and you got along. Other than having questionable attempts in the kitchen, letting his sweaty stuff go for too long sometimes before doing the laundry and occasionally leaving his stuff wherever, you had no complaints. Being seniors and having other things to do (mainly basketball for him and work for you), you didn't interact more than necessary but didn't awkwardly avoid each other either when you ran into each other in the common areas. Instead you used those chances to catch up.

Since Mark was a creative writing major with a music minor and had been in his very last semester the same as you, you both complained about how many assignments they had made you do. If you had to write another English essay about the difference between the USA's and UK’s political system apart from working on your thesis, you would surely throw a fit. But it’s not like you had a choice, so you wanted to start off your morning with something warm to keep you awake through it. However, you didn’t calculate with Mark being in the kitchen, trying to cook. Emphasis on trying because whatever he was making, it didn’t look half decent.

“What’s this supposed to be?” you found yourself asking after setting up the machine and seeing the egg white smeared in the pan, its edges were already burnt while the middle was watery. Mark in his oversized white tee, face still wrinkled by the pillow, sleep in his eyes, turned to you, confused.

“Sunny side up,” he claimed but even his voice had some uncertainty.

“Nah, that’s not it. That’s disrespect for sunny side ups,” you remarked with a smile hiding in the corner of your mouth and crunching down to find another clean pan and some eggs to demonstrate how it should be done. “I don’t know how you managed to make it stick there but you need to add a bit of oil first. Then wait until the oil gets warm but not too hot, so keep the heat low, and then you can put the egg there. When breaking the egg, be careful not to hurt the yellow part. Like this, see? Then you just wait until the white is set.”

Mark looked at you after your totally normal looking sunny side up as if you were a Michelin star restaurant chef and the sparkles in his eyes and his enthusiasm to try it himself were both endearing. Somehow he still managed to mess up his first two attempts but his third was definitely decent at which he got so proud he snapped a picture for his mother.

“You know if you wanna try making new things in the kitchen, you could just let me know and I’d gladly help. I like cooking, so it’s no bother,” you told him while you finished the eggs as your breakfast (Mark insisting that you should only eat the ‘pretty’ ones). Mark sheepishly agreed and kitchen adventures became the first official flatmate thing you share.

The next thing was the movie nights.

It turned out neither of you went home for the autumn break to be able to work on your thesis properly and Mark had basketball practice too but before you could go crazy because of the amount of academic articles you had to read, you needed some time to forget about schoolwork. The boy must have felt similarly because one night, tired already, he asked if you wanted to watch something and that something ended up being the one of the Spider-man franchise installments at which Mark got so emotional he had to sniffle into a tissue.

"It's just so unfair. Why do good, innocent people have to suffer?" he asked you as if you could have ever answered such a philosophical question. Instead, you just offered him some leftover popcorn and Mark seemed relieved enough (or maybe it was his unstable emotional state) to take it with a small, embarrassed smile. It was actually cute that he didn't try to put on a front, acting all cool and manly as if he wasn't touched (heartbroken) by the scene, you liked that he was so open and sincere. Maybe that was why anxiety wasn't eating you up when you felt tearing up a bit later too. You just knew Mark wouldn't tease you with it, you could really be yourself around him. Just as he was his usual self with out of blue thoughts voiced out when the credits finally rolled.

"If you could have a superpower what kind would you want and how would you use it?" he blurted out and it was such a Mark-like question, random and funny, but deep if you really thought about it. So you gave it a thought now because you never really wondered before. You ended up saying something that hopefully would help with your constant overthinking.

"It would be nice to have a hunch whether I would regret a decision I'm about to make. So maybe a 6th sense about the future. What about you?"

"Oh man, I like that one! It's cool!" The boy shot a smile at you when you turned to him, clearly glad that you indulged him with a proper answer. "If I were to have a super power, I would want to see through walls and other objects. It could come in handy to avoid awkward situations or possibly dangerous situations. I mean my eyesight is pretty bad, it would definitely help though," he chuckled and you joined in but mostly because his laugh was so addictive.

After that you kept asking each other if the other wanted to join for a movie whenever one of you was free and somehow you ended up watching either Marvel movies or those thought-provoking drama ones over the weeks.

To be fair, Johnny warned you. You just thought he was joking, just to annoy you. Apparently no, because Mark Lee was indeed playing the guitar shirtless in your living room.

“Sometimes he picks up his guitar and just plays it half-naked,” Johnny had said once and since it had already been weeks since you had shared a living space with Mark without seeing him like that, you had waved it off as a silly joke but Mark just had to prove you wrong.

He looked like he just woken up, his hair was still like a bird's nest and he only had sweatpants on. He had his guitar on his lap and his phone in front of him on the coffee table as he was humming along while playing. He definitely didn't do it on purpose, he probably didn't expect you to be back from your morning lecture so quickly but it was canceled last-minute, so you had to go back if you didn't want to spend hours in the library until your next class.

So there you were, back in the apartment, standing awkwardly in the hallway before reminding yourself to snap out of it. Staring at him was just so rude and so shallow, not to mention it wasn't like you hadn't seen guys shirtless before, it was just surprising because you had only seen him stroll around the apartment in oversized shirts and hoodies. No big deal, really, so you shouldn't have turned it into one.

"Hey," you cleared your throat, getting the boy's attention. "Class got canceled, so I made my return trip worth it," you said, putting down a cup of his to-go coffee from your favorite store on the campus.

"Oh, hey, uhm... thanks," Mark mumbled, visibly flustered, pulling the guitar to his chest as if it could have hidden him, or well, his embarrassment.

It didn't work but you didn't want to make him more uncomfortable, so you just shrugged, telling him that it was no problem and turned your back on him to go back to your room. Later, when you came out again, Mark was already decently dressed, supposedly going out later since he wore nice jeans and a button up over a simple tee. You didn't want to make the atmosphere awkward, not when you felt comfortable around each other in a way you wouldn't have expected from just any flatmate.

"I didn't see you play the guitar before," you commented, curious as you lifted the tea pot and refilled your mug. Sure you heard guitar playing since living together it was inevitable but you knew for a fact that Dejun from next door also played it, so you couldn’t be sure who it came from.

"Ah yeah, I got rusty lately, I need to get back into it. I can play a bit of piano too but I'm better with guitar," the boy admitted sheepishly and honestly, your not musically talented person was already impressed he could play one instrument. So since Mark seemed happy to talk about it, you inquired whether he was practicing for a class or it was just something he wanted to learn and the boy answered with so much enthusiasm! Oh gosh, he was all big movements with his arms, his face expressive as he was talking about this one prof causing most of his sleepless nights and time flew so fast, you only realized you you had to go to uni when your phone buzzed in your pocket, the calendar notification clear over your lock screen.

After that ‘incident’ you didn't catch Mark shirtless much more, mostly because he seemed slightly embarrassed and not because you had any problem with it. It was his home after all, he should have been comfortable, though now that the colder weather creeped in, it probably didn't matter that much either. But now that he knew that you didn't mind his impromptu guitar sessions, sometimes he knocked on your door just to show you something or ask your opinion about a melody he just came up with. You knew nothing about music, so you doubted you were any help but he came to you anyway and you were happy to listen.

You shouldn't have listened to him, however, when he told you beer pong against (samurai) Yuta and (vampire) Jaehyun would be fun at the Halloween party. You didn’t even know why you let him convince you to play with him (okay, it was his pout’s doing) but you were losing at an embarrassingly quick rate. Not only did you have shitty aiming skills to begin with, it didn't help that (Detective Conan) Mark who was supposed to be a good basketball player became a giggly mess with worse and worse aim with every cup of beer you two had to drink.

You had experienced it last time as well but he became very clingy when drunk, so you weren’t exactly surprised how he draped himself over your back, chin on your shoulder just to be able to watch the game in a more comfy position, only to whine at every hit his friends had made. You felt a bit buzzed from the cheap beer by the time Jaehyun and Yuta finished off all of your cups but you weren’t competitive enough to get frustrated over losing a game like this, not even if the guys teased you that they barely got anything to drink with how many shoots you and Mark missed. Your flatmate whined, high-pitched, and you had to admit it was cute how his hyungs babied him even if it was just a ruffle of hair. Small affections like this seemed to make Mark seek more warmth and comfort, cuddling on the couch with his friends just as you excused yourself to find your own friends.

“Hey, girl, where have you been?” Jungeun pulled you into a hug immediately, cheery, loud enough to hear above the music.

“Sorry, I’ve been swept by Mark’s friends, playing beer pong,” you explained, not paying attention to the knowing look the blonde girl exchanged with Jinsook next to her.

“I thought you don’t like beer pong.”

“I don’t, it’s a silly drinking game,” you shook your head but you had to admit, you had fun with the boys. Not necessarily because of the game itself or the alcohol but their company was amusing enough to make up for your dislike towards the silly rules. So maybe Mark was right and you had a good time but before your friends could have interrogated you more about it, you bombarded them with questions and the conversation shifted towards this flirty guy at Jungeun’s dance class and Jinsook’s troubles with her terrible thesis advisor.

After a dozen songs you danced to with the girls and your throat started hurting from trying to speak over the music, it was late enough for you to call it a day and you said bye to the girls. When you checked your phone, you found a bunch of random texts with million typos from Mark and a video of him saying sorry to a door frame after bumping into it as courtesy of Johnny. You laughed hard even though it wasn’t that funny and you decided to look for Mark, but in the end it was him finding you.

“Look, look, look, my tongue turned blue,” the boy stuck his indeed discolored tongue out like a child first licking a colorful lollipop and you raised a brow at him, suspicious.

“What are you drinking?” you pointed at the cup in his hands that held a dark drink and Mark’s smile was innocent as he furrowed his brows, trying to remember.

“I dunno. Hyuck gave it to me saying that it’s blueberry juice.”

Gosh, no wonder his friends liked to tease him so much, he was just so gullible he made it easy for them.

“It's definitely not blueberry juice, buddy,” you snorted, amused because Mark with his tongue poking out, eyes wide full of wonder and dreamy smile was rather cute. Or maybe it was just tipsy you’s thinking.

“Don't call me that,” the boy snapped but it wasn’t harsh at all. Instead, there it was again, his pout and big doe eyes looking at you until you didn’t give in. You sighed quietly because you really couldn’t be mad at him, his actions were way too endearing.

“Okay, Mark, what about heading home?” No response. You tried again. “Markie…”

Mark’s face lit up like Christmas lights, his smile splitting his face in too as he nodded, following you outside of the building. He was telling you a story about the basketball tournaments with much enthusiasm but the moment he spotted a stranger walking their dog, he got super distracted and by the time you got on the bus he was insisting to call his friend Chenle and ask about Daegal. You didn’t know the people in question but they probably wouldn’t have appreciated a call at 3AM, so you bribed Mark into calling them later with the promise of scrambled eggs and soup in the morning. Tiredness must have suddenly hit around that point because you were in the middle of reminding Mark about the trash he needed to take out when the next thing you knew was his head over your shoulder, his light snoring making you smile.

You let the boy sleep one stop more than you should have, so you got off the bus a bit late and had to walk back to your apartment complex. Mark didn’t seem to mind though as he suddenly had enough energy to play basketball.

“Pleeeease, just 5 minutes,” he was there again with those pleading eyes and gosh, you should have really learned to say no to him but five minutes wouldn’t hurt, he was about to get tired soon anyway.

“Fine, 5 minutes. But then I’m leaving you here,” you warned him before following him to the public basketball field you walked past on your way.

Sitting on the bench by the side you realized that you haven’t seen Mark play before despite living together for two months because it never occurred to you to visit his matches. You usually knew when they were because he usually told you when he would be back late. So you knew close to nothing about the sport, you found it impressive that he didn’t trip on his own foot this time. Not to mention, it was pretty cute that he kept checking if you were still there, paying attention. No wonder he had to act extra when you let him know that he only had 30 seconds left.

“This is for you, flatmate!” Mark yelled and at his next shoot he totally missed the basket and hit the backboard instead. You couldn't help but chuckle because he had been so confident and now he was pouting. On the way back to the apartment he kept telling you that he was better when he was sober and you believed him since you had no reason not to.

You felt the boy’s eyes on you while you juggled your keys out of your purse and opened the door for you, not moving until you pulled him inside.

“Cuute~” he cooed at you as he tugged on your Hufflepuff scarf and suddenly, you didn’t know what to say but apparently Mark didn’t expect you too because he had already turned his back to you, walking towards his room.

“Don’t get on your bed like that, you have beer stains on your shirt!” you called after him, not sure if he took it seriously before shutting yourself in your room with a sigh. Yet, you couldn’t wipe the smile off your face.

Mark might have been childish and reckless when he drank more than he should have but overall, he was a pretty dependable guy. He never forgot when it was his turn to get the groceries or clean. He was considerate of your sleep schedule even if his was crazy sometimes. He got you your favorite green tea even if he hated it and complained about it smelling like grass. Not to mention, he was there for you when you fell sick at the worst possible time. Two weeks until your thesis deadline and fever decided to hit then. You were a shivering, aching mess, barely having enough energy to go out to the bathroom and Mark, the sweetheart he was, made sure to refill your tea and water mugs in the room, setting up the humidifier in the morning and he even offered to make you some easily digestible food.

“Please, don’t burn the kitchen down,” you pleaded, tired but with a weak smile.

“It’s just soup,” Mark huffed out, taking no offense as he disappeared off to cook. While he was away, you must have dozed off because he was back way too quick and the air was already filled with delicious smells.

“Eat up. I promise you’ll feel better if you don’t sleep on an empty stomach,” Mark spoke up, patiently waiting for you to sit up before giving you the tray with the bowl and a spoon. You tentatively ate a spoonful of the hot soup, painfully aware of the boy’s eyes on you. When you gulped and reached for another spoonful, Mark leaned closer, his doe eyes wide while watching your expression. “Is it good?”

He sounded nervous and you felt like chuckling..

“So good,” you admitted, letting the soup’s warmth spread all over.

“Thank god, I followed Jaemin’s foolproof recipe step-by-step,” Mark let out a relieved sigh and probably because you were sleep-deprived, tired and sensitive, you felt tearing up. Last night when you struggled through hours alone, not wanting to wake him, you felt really weak and alone but now there he was, caring for you. You didn’t expect him to, he offered willingly and it made you feel touched.

You ate the soup diligently and followed Mark’s advice on trying to get some actual sleep afterwards. Your limbs and head still hurt, so it wasn’t easy but you didn’t wake up shaking and shivering this time. Your fever went down or so it seemed but you felt sticky and gross all over, so you took a shower and tried to make yourself look presentable even if Mark had seen you much worse before knocking on his door.

“Hey.” His smile was so soft, so caring as he turned to you right away. “How are you feeling?”

“Much better,” you shot him a shy, grateful smile. “I just wanted to thank you and ask if we have more of that soup.”

“Oh yeah, I’ll bring some–” Mark stumbled onto his feet no matter how much you protested that you could do it on your own if he just told you where he put it.

You followed him to the kitchen despite his objections and there, you suddenly understood why he didn’t want you there. The kitchen counter was a mess, the sink had a cooking pot with burnt marks on the bottom in it

“I didn’t want to wake you up by cleaning up,” the boy scratched the back of his neck sheepishly and even though you normally disliked messes like this, it was different. He was considerate and sweet, trying his best instead of ordering in even if cooking wasn’t his forte, you appreciated it a lot.

“It’s okay,” you smiled and heated up some more of the soup before settling by the dining table with two blankets over your shoulders while Mark put the kitchen back into its original shape. You almost finished with your bowl, swallowing down each tasty bit of it by the time he sat across you, a smile tugging on his mouth.

“So cute,” he blurted out when he saw you all bundled up and his words could have been teasing yet they sounded fonder than anything else. If you felt heat rising up in your cheeks, you blamed it on the fever.

“Not cute, I’m still sick,” you whined but you could hardly blame the way your heart skipped a beat on your sickness when Mark reached over the table to put his hand over your forehead in order to check your fever. Maybe you should have got that checked out though, just in case.

After recovering, you spent the following two weeks worrying about every single thing in your thesis – like what if someone will excuse you of plagiarism because of a weirdly worded phrase, what if the formatting is totally off and you will end up losing way too many points or what if the judge will simply dislike your topic and evaluate it negatively? – but once you handed it in, there was no way back and you refused to even think about it until you had the results. Mark finished up pretty last minute (but with two majors, it was still impressive that he didn’t faint out of fatigue at one point) but once both of you had this rock off your chests, you celebrated with ice cream. Eating it out of the tub on the living room couch made you nostalgic.

“Do you ever wonder if things will change after graduation? Like you know, the big adult life… Sometimes it just scares me. I still feel like a kid not knowing a thing,” you spoke up, not ashamed to talk about such things in front of Mark. You knew he would have never judged you for thinking in a certain way.

“Really? But you look… so well put together, like ,you know, someone who has their shit together, knows what they want and stuff,” the boy gaped at you, surprised at which you let out a small, embarrassed sound which made him continue. “But yeah, I get that, man. Like I might pay for my own stuff but still. I don’t want to grow up yet.”

Being young adults in your early twenties there were so many expectations thrown at you by family, friends and society, it was almost impossible to meet them all. It was nice that someone else understood it, your concerns but not in the YOLO kind of way but he actually took it seriously. He encouraged you when you told him about your worries about regretting your choice of major later on, and how you felt about the job market. In exchange, he told you how afraid he was drifting apart with his friends after college won’t give them a reason to meet up frequently. Or that he would miss playing basketball once he wouldn’t be part of the team.

“Maybe that’s why I’m so nervous about the game on Friday. Honestly, I don’t even care if we win or lose, I just want to give it my all and have fun. It will be my last time with the whole team after all,” he confessed, mixing the melted ice cream with his spoon.

You were sure nobody would stop him from going back to practices since all of the guys seem to adore him. You had seen that buff guy, Jeno, get flustered when Mark had bought him pain relief patches. Or how that tall freshman, Sungchan, went all ‘hyung, you didn’t have to’ when Mark treated him to a meal in-between classes. Mark really cared so much about the people around him and he probably didn’t even notice but you were sure everyone would miss his presence. You sure would. So you told him all that, determined to reassure the boy but you just ended up getting flustered yourself as you watched his ears burn red.

“Khm… actually I wanted to ask you if you would like to come to the game? You know, to show you that I can actually play,” Mark laughed awkwardly and even though you had never really been the sports kind of person, after that drunken mishap of his on Halloween you were actually curious about how he was on the field. Plus you would have never said no to an invitation to the season’s last game which was so important for him.

“Sure. Should I do anything special? You know those war marks on cheeks or something like that? I don’t know how basketball games work around here and I don’t think I have anything in the uni’s colors,” you admitted and you were ready to ask Yuqi what she usually wore in case Mark wasn’t helpful and said whatever or ‘you don’t have’ but he did none of that.

“I mean, you can wear my extra jersey,” he blurted out the offer and even though it was supposed to be nonchalant based on his casual tone, the way he avoided your eyes made it endearing.

“Okay,” you answered softly and Mark’s eyes widened as he looked up at you in disbelief.

“Okay?? I mean, yeah, okay, cool,” he muttered, stuffing his face with more melted ice cream and you could barely suppress your smile, heart beating as if you just ran after the bus.

You weren't exactly sure when this thing between the two of you started shifting. Or maybe it was just your perspective but lately you had been catching yourself noticing things about Mark you haven’t before. Like those adorable moles on his cheek and neck, the way he squinted sometimes even with his glasses on, that crooked smile of his when he found something amusing or that he always wore hoodies so big, the sleeves were too long even for him. You got fond of ridiculously mundane things like him slipping into English mid-sentence, slapping people around him when he laughed so hard or that he just couldn’t shut up during movies. The number of things he did that made your heart flutter became alarmingly high as well when he started covering you with blankets or his sweaters during movie nights, letting you fall asleep on his shoulder in the living room and instead of waking you up, he suffered a neck pain the next day without complaint or singing you songs as lullaby when you couldn’t sleep. Add giving you his freshly washed jersey to the list as well.

Yuqi was the first one to point it out as you were getting ready for the basketball match. She helped you style the jersey, tucking it inside black jeans and making a high ponytail out of your hair to show off the Mark 02 written on the back.

“Do you like him?” The girl asked, straightforward as always and you blamed the yelp you let out on a particularly harsh movement of the hair brush.

“I… is it that obvious?” you asked, bashful, because you felt like it was useless to deny in front of Yuqi. She snorted, raising an eyebrow before grabbing an eyeliner off the table, ready to attack you.

“You do realize only you find even his dumb jokes funny, right?”

“What, why? He’s hilarious!” you protested, really thinking so, and the girl laughed as if she just proved a point.

“Don’t worry, it’s cute,” she reassured you and before you could have asked what was so cute, your crush? she ordered you to close your eyes and let her work her magic.

So you did, feeling blush creeping on your cheeks under the thin layer of foundation she applied. Smokey eye shadow, pink lip gloss and lilac-gold lines over your cheeks later, Yuqi said you looked so good Mark would be stupid to not feel lucky. Honestly, you weren’t so sure about that since you knew Mark didn’t care about looks that much and actually it wasn’t your appearance that made you feel uncertain around him. It’s just… he was so casual and friendly with everyone, you weren’t sure whether he would have acted like this around every girl he ended up living with or you were a tiny bit special and you didn’t want things to become awkward between you two if you misread the signs and he didn’t feel the same. It could have made living together very uncomfortable.

An hour later you arrived at the basketball field of the campus and feeling a little out of place, you just followed Yuqi and joined some other friends in the standee area. You tried not to feel all too conscious of the eyes on you, or rather on the shirt you wore, and just hollered when the Eagles made their way onto the field and the game was starting.

It was crazy, the buzzing adrenaline of everyone around you, the way people grunted together in disappointment or cheered in unison when a team scored a point. You still didn’t really get the rules or why certain shoots meant more points than others but you had fun. And of course, you couldn’t stop looking for Mark among all the players, being impressed by how fast he moved and how precise his shots were. He was indeed better than that one time you saw him play drunk. You got so invested that you couldn’t stop screaming, encouraging the boys towards the end of the game. You jumped into Yuqi’s arms, hugging her for dear life when Chenle scored the winning goal, everyone attacking the freshman (with hugs and love) on the field.

The players were quickly ushered to the changing room, so you had no chance to talk with Mark but since basically everyone from your university in the audience ended up at Jaehyun’s for the after party, you believed you had a good chance to do so there. But before you bumped into Mark, you managed to run into Ten instead. The Thai guy was one of Johnny's best friends and then he was giving you such a knowing look that you couldn’t help but feel self-conscious under his gaze.

“Sooo did Mark finally tell you?” he raised a brow, sipping on his suspiciously orange-looking drink as he pointed at your outfit.

“Uhm, tell me what?” you muttered, dumbfounded and Ten just laughed, waving it off.

“Nothing then. Have fun!” he winked and walked away with such a shit-eating grin that left you even more confused. He was barely out of sight when Mark showed up by your side.

“What did Ten hyung want?” he asked, visibly concerned, which was the last thing you wanted him to do. He should have been happy, celebrating, because from what you had seen he gave his all for his last match with this team just like how he wanted to do.

“I don’t even know to be honest,” you let out a laugh, turning towards the boy by your side and you took in his look with the ripped jeans and the turtleneck. Gosh, even his hair was fluffy because he must have washed it after the match. It was a good look on him, soft but mature. Mark was looking at you with similar awe in his eyes, a smile tugging on his mouth.

“You really came.”

“I told you I would,” you reminded him with a kind smile. Then you remembered that you wanted him to know that you appreciated the match too and that you found his basketball skills impressive, so you added: “You were really good back there.”

“Thanks,” he smiled sheepishly and cleared his throat. “You look pretty. I mean… you look pretty in general, it’s just… you look different.”

It wasn’t like you never had received a compliment from the boy because he had this habit of calling every living and breathing creature cute but it was different, you could tell he didn’t mean to play it off coolly either.

“Thanks, it’s all Yuqi’s doing,” you admitted with a chuckle, fighting the heat in your cheeks before Mark asked if you wanted to dance maybe. You didn’t even hesitate before agreeing and followed him to the dance floor, not caring about the mainstream music or the stares you two got, not when Mark giggled into your ear when he almost tripped in his own foot because someone elbowed him in the side.

Mark and you spent almost the entire party together after that, just dancing and talking out on the balcony with your drinks in hand, or playing classic card games with friends. By the time the party died down and it was time to leave, both of you were still pretty much sober, so the walk back home promised less chaos than the ones before.

It was a chilly December night, big coats, scarves and beanies on both of you but you were still cold, damn those gloves you forgot to put on! You blew warm air onto your palms, rubbing them together to keep them warmer and the movement caught Mark’s attention. He didn’t wear gloves either but he didn’t even hesitate reaching for your hand and still holding it, shoving it inside his puffy coat’s pocket together with his.

“Better?”

“Yeah,” you whispered, breath caught in your throat, heart overworking.

Hand holding or not, you decided it wasn't the right time to tell Mark how you felt, this was no time for extra pressure. You both still had final exams to prepare for and you knew he would go home for the holidays. You could tell him after that.

Before Mark left for the winter break, you made him his favorite meal and gave him the personalized guitar pick with his name and basketball jersey number on it as a Christmas gift. It was barely anything yet he thanked you dozens of times and hugged you as if he didn't want to let go.

You visited home for the festive days too but because of your internship you were back in the capital in no time. Mark stayed home longer, texting you throughout the days about the most random things (how his mom made him eat so much, his brother’s nagging or the shows he watched with his dad) but the apartment was so empty without him. One day you ended up inviting Sohyun over for lunch and as a package deal, Johnny came, too. It turned out very unfortunate for you because out of all the people out there, he was the one person you couldn’t fool when he pointed at what you wore.

“Isn’t that Mark’s plaid shirt?” his lips curled upwards as he asked, mouth in an annoyingly knowing smirk.

You could have said that it got mixed during laundry but that still wouldn’t have explained why you actually wore it when it was a bit big on your frame. Honestly, you just got so used to Mark covering you with his clothes, it felt almost natural picking it up from the couch where he had left it and putting it on when you got cold earlier.

“And aren’t you hungry? Then stop asking unnecessary questions,” you snickered which made your friends laugh and tease but you knew they didn’t mean anything bad about it. They cooed when you got a text from Mark that made you all smiley. Johnny even prided himself in being a great matchmaker which was a pretty far stretch but you just rolled your eyes at his antics. Maybe you wished he was right, too.

It was a few days into January when Mark got back. There were snowflakes in parts of his hair that weren't under his beanie but his smile was warm as he complained about the cold. You offered to heat some dinner up for him while he unpacked and could barely contain the feelings spreading all over you as he claimed that 'you are the best'. So you put some pasta you made earlier into the microwave and set the table, waiting for Mark. When he got back to the kitchen, he told you all about his holiday and his ride back over his dinner as if he hadn’t texted every hour but you appreciated it, so in exchange you told him about your days and how the internship place offered you a long-term position. Things had started falling into place despite the uncertainties and doubts you still had but it was natural, you were still young, you didn’t have to have it all figured out.

After dinner, you were about to suggest a movie but Mark beat you to it.

“I know it’s late, but actually I brought you a present,” he spoke up suddenly, sounding nervous as he tilted his head towards his room. It already made your heart beat like a drum.

“Oh come on, you didn’t have to just because I–” you protested but still followed the boy into his room.

“I wanted to,” Mark interrupted you gently and handed over a clumsily home-wrapped (so cute!) box he pulled out of his suitcase. You took it curiously and started unwrapping it carefully. The box revealed your favourite brand of chocolate and an old-fashioned cassette with your name written on it with a marker. You suddenly remembered watching an old movie from the 90s when you had told Mark how lovely you found the idea of mixtapes on cassettes because of the effort put into them, but you didn’t think he would remember that.

“I don't even have a cassette player,” you said dumbly, not knowing how to react suddenly and at that Mark let out an awkward little chuckle.

“Oh right, I was supposed to share the Soundcloud link with you,” he realized and after a few clicks on his phone you felt yours buzz in your pocket. “You told me you like to listen to me singing, so I thought I could record these for you to listen to if you, you know, wanna hear some but I can’t be there.”

His explanation was just so him, so lovely, just as the caption of the track he shared with you – songs that remind me of you. You might have been oblivious and uncertain when it came to Mark Lee, everyone’s best friend at college, but there was nothing platonic in the way he patted the bed beside him to get you to sit down and once you did, he put earbuds in for you to listen to the mix of English and Korean love songs he sang in his soft, airy voice. Your heart was struggling against your ribcage as he filled all your senses: his voice singing, his eyes on you, his warm closeness…

The playlist ended with an embarrassed giggle, so Mark-like it made you smile right away. You were glad he didn’t edit it out because it made it more real, more special because of how not staged it was. You wanted to say so much and ask even more but looking into the boy’s eyes, you suddenly couldn’t form any word. It felt like you were in a sweet little bubble in his room and for a moment you wondered whether you were dreaming, dreaming about Mark coming back home, to you, looking at you like that. But it wasn’t a dream.

“It’s… I love it, so much,” you pressed quietly but genuinely. You were afraid you would break this bubble if you said more, or if you spoke louder. You just wanted to stay there, so close your knees bumped into each other.

“I’m glad,” Mark said back in a hush, a chuckle hanging off his lips, words tasting delicate with anticipation.

There was serendipity in the silence that followed. It was in the way Mark’s doe eyes blinked slowly, the way you inhaled sharply or the way he tilted his head, leaning closer ever so slowly. Your eyes fluttered closed right before his lips touched yours for a chaste but heart-shaking moment. It was short but offered enough of a reassurance, just as much as his searching gaze when you opened your eyes slowly after he pulled back a bit.

“Mark…” you whispered, his name tasting like something sweet on your tongue and for a moment, the boy looked distracted. At your voice, he blinked.

“Hm?”

You looked deep into his warm brown eyes, serious before you let your lips curl up.

“No more dude-zoning, okay?” you asked, half-sincere, half-a-joke, and Mark laughed so hard, he almost fell over and out of the bed. It was the kind of sound you wanted to hear so much more often. Even more so, you wanted to make it happen: to make Mark happy.

“Okay,” he promised, breathless, and sealed it with another kiss on your lips, his hand finding rest over your nape. You smiled into it, content.

“Mom, come on, we will be late,” Mark whined as he tugged on his robe, squinting against the sunlight.

“Just one more. Stand closer,” the woman instructed and gestured for you to step closer to Mark and you giggled as you pressed up against your boyfriend’s side, a blushing creeping onto your cheeks even now at the public display of affection.

Neither of you with Mark were big fans of PDA, liking to keep your relationship mostly private save for hand holding whenever you had a chance to do so but your friends kept pushing you, teasing you, saying that they did not believe that ‘you finally came to your senses and got together’, their words not yours. Johnny definitely claimed credit as the main matchmaker but Yuqi kept arguing over it. You didn’t mind, it only showed that they cared and were supportive and only that mattered.

“Perfect!” Mark’s mother exclaimed with a proud smile as she looked down at the photo she just made. Her husband reminded her that all of you had to get back to the hall for the actual graduation ceremony before you would miss the point of it all but you couldn’t mind the woman’s enthusiasm at all as she pulled you into a half-hug as she showed you the picture. She had been the sweetest from the moment you were introduced as her son’s girlfriend. (‘Actually I had a feeling. He was glued to his phone all winter break,’ she shared with you with a smile that made you feel welcomed like a partner-in-crime.)

You waved at your own family who already took their seats and laughed at the tissues your mother prepared as your sister pointed out jokingly. Then suddenly you were surrounded by friends from your grade, excitement clear on all your faces.

“Let’s get it,” Mark hollered beside you as everyone was ushered into the big hall.

The graduation ceremony might have sounded boring but it was the end of an era and you were all so ready for the next one. You were a bit scared, yes, but that was okay, as long as you had good people around you nothing could go too wrong and looking around – at Guanheng and Dejun making funny faces for selfies, Wooyoung pulling on the tassel of Jungeun’s cap, Mina trying to shush everyone before the dean would do so and Mark staring back at you with a fond smile – you knew you were in good hands.

LOST TO TIME — ft. sae itoshi

synopsis : nostalgia. it’s delicate but potent. “nostalgia” literally means “the pain from an old wound” in greek. it’s the twinge in your heart far more powerful than memory alone – a feeling of a place where we ache to go again. but in sae’s case, it’s the painful ache in his chest to return to someone that’s already been buried by the sands of the past; the yearning for someone that’s already been lost to time.

i'm very proud with this one so enjoy <3

“everything passes.” a famous quote from one of japan’s beloved authors, osamu dazai. a man too ahead of his time with his novel ‘no longer human’. a novel that evoked a deep sense of sadness, emptiness and even nostalgia to its readers. evoked a question, “what does it mean to be human?” that no one could ever truly be answered. sae remembered reading about the man and one line about his death struck a chord in him. 

“dazai was asked to die, and he simply agreed, but just before his death, he suddenly felt obsession with life.”

everything passes.

— first recording

“hi sae! i heard from rin that you’ll be leaving for spain. i’m really sorry i couldn’t come to see you off, i’ve been busy studying, you know, for exams and stuff. but that’s beside the point! i wish you all the best sae! do your best and when you come back home, you better be the world’s best striker yeah? don’t worry, everything will pass by quickly so don’t miss me too much ok?”

sae hated planes. he hated them quite a lot. in was a constant reminder of that time when he was only 14, leaving home to go to spain to live out his dreams only for it to be crushed 4 years later. sae hated the airport, it was always so busy and so stuffy and so cramped. he hated the feeling of being surrounded by unfamiliar strangers, hated the feeling of people brushing up against him even if they didn’t really mean it. sae hated winter. it was the season he severed his bond with his precious little brother after all. t’was the season he turned his back on him and it was the season he had wished to never relive again.

— second recording

“hey hey guess who’s sending you another voice message? it’s me obviously, why didn’t you tell me you were back already?! if you did i would’ve picked you up from the airport! …… is something the matter sae? you haven’t picked up any of your parents’ calls and their really worried about you. you can always talk to me remember? i’ll always be here to listen, ok? don’t bottle everything up, it’ll do more bad than good. well, i have to go now. talk with your parents every once in a while will you? ever since you left for spain you’ve pretty much cut off all contact, even with me. that’s all, good night sae.”

sae didn’t really like flowers. he thought they were a hassle. plants that require specific needs and if not met, they’ll wilt. sae was never fond of them but here he was, standing in front of the counter of a local flower shop as the elderly shopkeeper wrapped a bouquet – filled with carnations, gardenias, lilies, roses, chrysanthemums. 

everything passes.

— college; third recordings

“i got into my dream college sae! can you believe that! honestly, i was really nervous when i took the entrance exams, but thankfully i studied real hard and managed to pass! i’ll be moving into the dorms soon. i’m gonna miss home. oh and rin! i heard he got into a soccer program recently, isn’t that nice! he’s following your footsteps in becoming the best striker in the world. i know, i know, you aren’t a striker anymore but it’s still nice to know that you’re still into soccer at least. by the way, when will you come back home? i kind of miss you, you know. i never got to see you off and when you did come back i was out of town and really busy. what about we plan a meetup or something in the near future? you know, make up for the times we lost? oh, i have to go now! my parents are helping me move in to my dorm. catch you later sae!”

sae didn’t really like coming home. the house he grew up in for the first 14 years of his life felt to foreign to be called home anymore. his parents felt like distant strangers that he just met a couple weeks ago – they felt more like acquaintances than his mother and father. the photos framed around his home felt like ancient relics from thousands of years ago, he didn’t recognize them. sae didn’t recognize himself. 

maybe he spent too much time in spain to the point where it felt more like home. how ironic, he began to realize. he had flown back to japan to escape from his hell that was spain but here he was, in his home, in the bedroom he used to sleep in for endless nights, wanting to go back to the place that left his heart hollow.

“there’s nothing else i could do.” he tried to convince himself as he sat down on his childhood bed, the bouquet of flowers at his side. he could only sigh and let himself fall back into the bed of his long gone home. “everything passes.”

“hey hey hey it’s me again! how have you been sae? i’d like to think that i’ve adjusted pretty well in college. made a few new friends and met some old ones. honestly, i almost didn’t recognize them! i mean, do you remember makoto from middle school. he was a such a problem child back then and now look at him! he’s a scholar now! i guess everyone just starts to become more mature after hitting 18, who knows. thank you again, for the gift. i was definitely shocked when my roommate told me i had a package from you. i can’t believe you still remember that i wanted ‘no longer human’! thank you, i’ll be sure to treasure it. well, that’s all for today. call you some other time sae!”

everything passes.

— drunk recordings; the words i wish i could’ve told you sooner

“how do you work this again? ah got it! hehe, hi again sae! i’m at a party right now, man maybe you were right, i do have shit alcohol tolerance. but it’s fine. don’t worry, i’m already on my way home and the driver isn’t some creepy dude that might kill me. …… you know, i like you very much but i don’t think you’ll believe me. i know i jokingly said that we should marry each other if we aren’t dating someone if we hit our 30s, but i kinda wanna marry you even if we aren’t 30 yet. is that weird? i really miss you. please come home.”

“hello? god that was so embarrassing… sorry, could you just forget about what i said in the last recording? um just, gosh i don’t even know. denying it won’t really help right haha… it’s in the past now so don’t mull over too much ok? please, just disregard that last recording. i’m really sorry, it was just me being drunk.”

sae did not in fact disregard that recording. in fact, sometimes in the dead of night he’d think about it and wonder, if he had replied to that specific recording would things have ended differently? 

sae didn’t like deep and evoking questions about ‘what if’s’, he finds them annoying most of the time. and yet here he was now entertaining the idea. bouquet in hand as he casually walked around the neighborhood that the both of you had grew up in. the same twists and turns, same houses, same playground, same everything.

yet the silence was too loud, even for him.

everything passes.

— graduation recordings

“well, i think it’s safe to say i survived. i graduated sae, are you proud? man i still can’t believe i was a few point from getting the valedictorian spot but oh well. alls well that ends well i suppose. i heard you won your recent match congratulations mr best midfielder! kinda wish i was there to see it, but don’t worry! in your next match i’ll definitely save up enough money and buy those tickets to spain and your match one day! just you wait, i’ll be the screaming my lungs out and support you, i’m still your number one fan after all!”

sae had some feelings of dissatisfaction when you did not in fact get those tickets to spain and his match. maybe he it was his wishful thinking but he really did wish you were there. but he knew it was impossible. 

he remembered the feeling of anger and frustration running through his veins, cursing the heavens above because he felt the need to show the gods his emotions. sae hated thinking about you in that moment. he hated how he felt like he was in a new version of hell whenever you just happened to cross his mind. sae hated you very much.

everything passes.

— recordings from 2 years ago

“i’m sorry. i know you should’ve heard it from me but i guess my family beat me to it haha. to be perfectly honest with you sae, i had no plans of telling you. i’m sorry. its just, the thought of breaking the news to you. how could i ever do that to you? i’m sorry. god i’m so sorry sae.”

“hey. i received the gift you sent me. you didn’t have to , you know. now i kinda feel bad about having you go on break in the middle of soccer season because of me. but still, thank you. i appreciated you being here, with me. it was a refreshing feeling, talking to you again and just hanging out. work has been really stuffy and felt like i was being caged but you came. you suddenly appeared and suddenly everything was alright again. i know we only said goodbye a couple minutes ago but, i miss you already. sorry. this sounds really weird doesn’t it? anyways, thank you again for the necklace. can’t believe you remembered how much i loved music. i’ll be sure to wear it everyday. that’s all, have a good night sae.”

“hey. sorry for calling at such an odd time. i just. i just felt a little lonely. i sound so stupid i’m sorry. good night sae.”

“makoto dropped by today. god he was as annoying as ever but he really cheered me up. he managed to confess to this girl he’s pining over since sophomore year. i’m happy for him. but it really got me thinking about us. i know i told you to forget about that one recording because i was drunk but now that i look back on it, i wasn’t really honest. to you and myself. i know this may be the worst timing to confess but yeah, i like you very much. since primary school, as cliche as it may sound i think it all started when you stood up for me from those bullies. now that i think about, i practically glued myself to your side ever since that day didn’t i? i’m glad you didn’t really mind that. i remember always using homework as an excuse to always have you hang out with me even though i completely understood the lesson. man, where did i get the confidence to do that stuff? but i guess those times are lost in the sands of the past i guess. oh right, sorry, i forgot you didn’t really like those type of stuff. getting all deep and whatnot. well that’s all, i’m getting pretty tired already so i’ll head to bed. good night sae.”

everything passes.

— present

“hi. thank you by the way. i don’t know, i just don’t think i’ve ever said that you recently. so, thank you. its a bit funny isn’t it? i would almost always talk your ear off every recording but this time, i can’t even find the words to say. my parents came over, talked to them a bit. rin visited as well. he’s gotten a lot taller than i last saw him, he’s probably taller than you now! sae, thank you. for everything. i’m glad we stayed in touch. i’m glad we stayed as friends.  Thank you for making my days seem just a tad bit brighter, though sometimes i wonder what it would be like if we were, you know, dating. wonder what the difference would be. i mean we’d still talk to each other right? maybe holding hands and kisses but that’s pretty much it right? but thinking about it is useless right now. maybe in an alternate universe were actually married and adopted a cat like how we used to talk about.”

“you know, before this very moment. i accepted my fate already. i was content, i was doing fine but now. sae, i don’t want to die.”

“please remember me ok? and i’ll be sure to remember you. i’ll see you again, sae.”

“nii-chan..”

sae could only put his phone back in his pocket. his younger brother standing a good distance away from him. he could only imagine how rin looked like right now. was he pitying him, grieving with him? he’ll never know because he will never turn to look at him. not when your right in front of him.

how many times had he played all your recordings for the past 2 years? maybe a little over a 100 times? maybe close to 200 now?

sae removed all those thoughts as he placed the bouquet on the ground, the wind seemed to answer to his call – you seemed to answer to his call. despite all the pain, all the misery, all the bitter waves of grief that flooded his being whenever he played your recordings, he couldn’t bring himself to stop. he didn’t want to forget what you sounded like. your voice reminded him too much of home.

“happy birthday you idiot.” he said to you, keeping his hands in his pockets, watching the leaves of the flowers in the bouquet sway with the wind. two pieces of paper underneath it threatened to be blown away. “you said you wanted to come visit me and watch my match, well now you can.” two pieces of paper, one a plane ticket to spain the other a ticket to his upcoming match two weeks from now. “you better come watch me alright?” he could only bitterly smile. 

“you’re 30 now,” he whispered, before getting on one knee. placing a velvet box in front of your gravestone. “you should’ve waited for me, you idiot.” sae could only mutter those words to no one in particular. it was as if the world had stopped for a moment, the wind had stopped howling, the sun was nowhere to be seen. he could only see you. “i wanted to marry you too, y’know.”

sae could remember every occurrence where he would sit at his balcony in spain every night after your passing. phone to his ear, listening to all your recordings. but you’ll never know how he replies to them, every single one of them with his own. 

“i told the stars about you and what we could’ve had.” he chuckled, “you’re by far the hardest lesson i had to learn.”

standing up from his kneeling position, he gave you one last look before walking away. rin followed suit, but not before placing something at your grave. a pink book that you had loved till the very end. 

sae hated planes, but he flew back to japan every year. sae didn’t really like flowers, but every year he’d get you a pretty bouquet. sae didn’t like coming home but if it meant getting to visit you, he’d come back over and over again. sae didn’t like reading or any deep and evoking questions but he always humored you whenever you asked him.

sae hated all those things but they reminded him too much of you to let them go. 

everything passes. just like how you’ll eventually get lost in the sands of time.

fin.

{Regular Inspired AU x NCT 127} Mark Lee

tw: weapons mention, violence mention, be warned. everything written here is a work of FICTION, and does not in anyway reflect reality  an: please read the introduction to this au first so you understand :-) 

“i said i was going to keep you safe. i couldnt even do that.”

Keep reading

mistymark’s masterlist

key: ▶▶▶ = ongoing, ✓ = completed, all are fluff (or have fluffy endings) unless specified

NCT

series:

HIDEAWAY HOLLOW SERIES [NCT Dream] NCT AS BOYFRIENDS SERIES [NCT 2018]

the ex boyfriend interview. [NCT Dream] ↳in which you’re asked to do a video interview with your ex boyfriend surrounding your past relationship

the one with the second chance. [NCT Dream] ↳ in which you take part in a second interview with your ex. {sequel to the ex boyfriend interview series}

the one with the subway [NCT Dream Christmas special] ↳in which 12 strangers are must endure what feels like the longest train ride in history on christmas eve

Don’t Need Your Love angst series [DNYL members, excludes Hrvy lmao]

VIGILANTE/S ↳ in which you consider yourself somewhat of a vigilante. {superpowered!au}

mistakes were made [NCT Dream - Jaemin] ↳ in which you are a famous YouTuber and your fans really really like your best friend, Jaemin {script format}

group // headcanons // reactions:

rating nct series: ↳ based on what they would do if you asked them to hold your drink ↳ based on how they’d help you slash your ex’s tires ↳ based on what their tinder profiles would look like ↳ based on how they drink their milo ↳ based on how they kiss you for the first time

hugging nct dream

nct dream as classmates 

nct dream as college students ↳ nct dream as kids in my zoom classes ↳ nct dream as kids in my zoom classes (semester 2 edition)

nct dream as hogwarts students 

nct 00 line band au [NCT Dream]

00 line x private school uniforms [NCT Dream]

nct dream react to you being shipped with another member [ot6]

nct dream x spotify [00-02 line] nct 127 x spotify [OT10]

nct dream x brooklyn 99 characters

elemental!nct dream {head canons} ↳ elemental!jaemin {flirting; dot points} ↳ elemental!hyuck {flirting; dot points} ↳ elemental!jisung {headcanon} ↳ elemental!jisung and elemental!chenle {headcanons; list} frat boys!yuta and jaehyun

nct + wayv as types of friends [OT21]

spiderman!mark (these aren’t connected/part of the same story) ↳ first date + first kiss (drabble) ↳ finding out (drabble)

fake dating!00 line ↳ hyuck catching feelings ↳ kissing at a party with jaemin (drabble) ↳ being dared to kiss jaemin

the one with the homecoming date [NCT Dream] ↳ [intro] [jeno] [donghyuck] ▶▶▶

enemies to lovers!yukhei ↳ contribution

number neighbour!au with mark

uni boyfriend!jaehyun {ask}

renjun keeping art of you in his wallet {ask}

med student!yuta (idea for the one with the std)

superpowered!au ↳ enemy immortal!hyuck having a crush on you (drabble) ↳ enemy immortal!hyuck needing your help ↳ enemy immortal!hyuck needing your help part two ↳ enemy immortal!hyuck on a mission (x-men-ish) ↳ friend immortal!hyuck in the world of the dead

secret agent!jaehyun surgical intern!jaehyun

mark + swearing

Taeyong + dying his hair in ur bathroom

fake fake dating!au with fuckboy!doyoung (summary)

soulmate!au with opposites!hyuck and y/n (summary)

a fwb!au with non-specified member (fic idea)

werewolf!jeno (fic idea)

dumb prom date!chenle (summary)

individual:

《《 lee taeyong 》》

- the one with the retaliation COMING SOON!! in which taeyong likes to make y/n flustered by leaning in too close whenever they’re talking and hitting on her, but she’s decided she’s had enough {university!au}

- the one with the combat class [1] ▶▶▶ in which taeyong has been ‘just friends’ with y/n for too long and a little alcohol surely is the best way to make a move feat. doyoung {university au} {follower dictated fic}

《《 moon taeil 》》

- the one with the bowling date. DRABBLE in which you and taeil really suck at bowling.

《《 johnny seo 》》

↳ johnny would [1]

- the one with the med student ✓ in which johnny works at a coffee shop and a particular med student cares more for his health than he does {coffee shop!au} {drabble} ↳ q: did you call or text y/n? ↳ q: did you end up visiting y/n at the clinic?

- the one with the secret COMING SOON!! in which y/n is a little clingy and johnny’s a little paranoid {secret dating!au} {university!au}

- the one with the soulmates ✓ in which soulmates can hear snippets of each other’s thoughts and what the fuck is going on his head {soulmates!au} {strangers to lovers!au}

- the one with the long day. ✓ in which johnny’s had a long day and really just wants to get home to you (and sleep)

- the one with the argument. DRABBLE in which Johnny is fighting with his girlfriend and you, unfortunately, are there to witness the whole thing [angst-y] {best friends!au}

- the one in the shower. DRABBLE in which Johnny accidentally asks for nudes.

- the one with the vampire. ✓ in which johnny’s a vampire and you still kiss him. {vampire!au, duh}

- the one where you cancel your date. ✓ DRABBLE in which you’re sick but Johnny won’t let that stand in the way of your date. {short}

- the one in Paris. TIMESTAMP in which youre really tired. but youre also in Paris.

- the one with the acceptance letter. DRABBLE in which Johnny shows up on your doorstep when he gets his acceptance letter. {angst, mutual pining}

- the one with the car ride. TIMESTAMP in which you’re drunk and Johnny drives you home. 

《《 nakamoto yuta 》》

- the one with the unexpected help [1] ▶▶▶ in which a group project causes tension between y/n and her partner yuta {enemies to lovers! au} {university!au}

- the one with the step stool ✓ in which yuta and y/n are coworkers and he finds it funny that you can’t reach things on the top shelf {barista!au} {enemies to lovers!au} ↳ q: have you murdered yuta yet?

- the one with all the dates COMING SOON!! in which y/n accidentally ruined his date, so he’s gonna make sure he gets revenge for it

- the one with the motel ✓ in which 127 goes on a road trip and there aren’t enough rooms in the motel {enemies to lovers!au}

- the one with the blocked drain pipe. ✓ in which a blocked shower drain causes y/n to turn up on Yuta’s doorstep in nothing but a towel {friends w benefits!au} {neighbours!au} 

- the boyfriend one. ✓ in which yuta is a boyfriend {part of the NCT as boyfriends series}

- the one with the std [intro] [1] [2] ▶▶▶ in which yuta and y/n are pretty much arch rivals, though no one understands why; they’re just competitive in class and, now, at their work placements. easily two of the brightest students of their class, they’re both used to being number one - the only number one. but after y/n ruins one of yuta’s dates, he vows to ruin every single one she goes on, too.

- the one with the vodka. ✓ in which yuta is drunk and should go home. {or the things you said when you were drunk} {part of the 50 things you said series}

- the one with the baby. ▶▶▶ in which you’re supposed to be minding Yuta’s cousin and it doesn’t go so well. {established relationship!au} {slight angst}

《《 qian kun 》》

- the one with the prince ✓ in which kun works at Disneyland, and even without the costume looks like a prince {Disneyland!au}

《《 kim doyoung 》》

- the one with the combat class [1] ▶▶▶ in which y/n’s window looks out directly onto the grass where doyoung does his combat class feat. taeyong {university!au} {fan dictated fic}

《《 chittaphon leechaiyapornkul (ten) 》》

《《 jung yoonoh (jaehyun) 》》

- the one with the roommates [1] [2] [3] [4] [epilogue] ✓ in which jaehyun and y/n are roommates and pretending to be his fiancé seems like a really good idea {roommates!au} {fuckboy!au} {friends to lovers!au}

- the one with the diet coke bottle ✓ in which jaehyun suggests they play spin the bottle, but now everyone except him is kissing y/n {university!au}

- the one with the youtuber [INTRO] [1] [2] [3] ON HIATUS in which youtube somehow brings jaehyun and y/n together {social media au} {college au}

- the one with the apple juice ✓ in which drunk jaehyun confesses his feelings for y/n (the things you said when you were drunk) {university!au} {best friends to lovers!au}

- the one with the cover. ▶▶▶ in which jaehyun and y/n are detectives working undercover at NCT U as new recruits of the jump street program {21 jump street!au} {friends to lovers!au}

- the one with the drunken confession. ✓ in which jaehyun realises he might be in love with someone and its not the person he just broke up with {best friends to lovers!au}

- the one with the hangover. ✓ in which jaehyun made a stupid decision and wants y/n’s forgiveness {part of the 100tws project}

- the one with the power cut. ✓ in which a power cut reunites y/n and jaehyun {ex friends with benefits!au} {friends to lovers!au} {part of the 1ydp.}

- the one with the keycard. ✓ in which the heater breaks in the hotel room and y/n is really cold. like really cold. {enemies to lovers!au} {bed sharing!au} {part of the 1ydp}

- the one with the benefits. ✓ in which jaehyun is y/n’s best friend’s older brother and their relationship is… physical {smut} {drabble}

- the one with the mole. ✓ DRABBLE in which y/n betrays the agency and her partner, jaehyun, doesn’t believe it. {secret agents!au} {warning: guns and violence}

- the one with the gourmet pasta. ✓ DRABBLE in which you and jaehyun have a domestic routine, and you want to surprise him with pasta. {or: the things you said with no space between us} {part of the 50 things you said series}

- the one with the kiss in the bathroom. ✓ DRABBLE in which your brother finds out about your secret relationship with his best friend. {part of the 50 things you said series}

- the one with the rules. ✓ DRABBLE in which jaehyun is a prince and seems to be breaking all the rules. [cinderella!au]

- the one at New Years. ✓ DRABBLE in which you’d made plans to kiss Jaehyun at midnight. 

- the one at the bus stop. [part two] DRABBLE in which jaehyun doesn’t feel like he’s home. {slight angst}

《《 dong sicheng (winwin) 》》

- the one with the annotations ✓ in which sicheng works in the library and finds y/n’s notes in the books wrong hilarious {libary!au}

- cute and flirty + boyfriend!sicheng [DRABBLE]

《《 kim jungwoo 》》

《《 wong yukhei (lucas) 》》

- the one with the anonymous pen pal ✓ in which y/n and lucas write notes to each other on their desk and love just happens to be on their side (university!au)

- the one with the paint prank ✓ in which the nct u boys prank y/n’s group and she ends up striking a pitiful deal with the genius behind it (idol!reader)

- the one with the skyscraper COMING SOON!! in which lucas is always afraid he’ll lose y/n in big crowds so he grabs y/n’s hand but suddenly he starts to do it when there’s no one around and y/n is sUS {university!au}

- the one with the drunk ex. ✓ in which both y/n’s crush and ex boyfriend are at the same party {friends to lovers!au} {part of the 1ydp}

- the one with the pick up lines. ✓ in which lucas knows a bunch of pick up lines and insists on using them all {best friends to lovers!au} {part of the 1ydp}

- the one with the handprint in the wall. ✓ DRABBLE in which two handprints in a wall make you meet someone new.

- the one on FaceTime. DRABBLE in which your homework is hard but Lucas is willing to help.

《《 hendery 》》

- the boyfriend one. ✓ in which hendery is your boyfriend. (bulleted)

《《 mark lee 》》

- the one with no curtains [pt 2 angst ver.] [pt 2 fluff ver.] ✓ in which mark lives opposite y/n and always forgets to close the curtains while he’s changing {neighbour!au} [before u attack me, its pure]

- the one with all the spoilers ✓ in which y/n spends all her time with the host’s roommate instead of the birthday boy himself (the things you said when we were the only ones left) {university!au} {strangers to lovers!au}

- the one with the how to’s [intro] [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] ▶▶▶ in which y/n is a columnist and just really needs to write an article, whilst mark is an idol and just really needs a date {social media au}

- the boyfriend one. ✓ in which mark is a boyfriend {bulleted} {part of boyfriend!NCT series}

- the one with the study room. ✓ in which mark really likes to test fate with rock-paper-scissors but y/n just wants to finish this group project {group project!au}

- the one with the stagehand. ✓ in which mark really wants to impress y/n but singing is not the way to go apparently

- the one with the feelings [1] [2] ▶▶▶ in which mark and y/n have a lot of feelings but never at the same time apparently {or: the times we fought our feelings for each other and the one time we didn’t}

- the one with the internship. ✓ in which mark and y/n have to live together during an internship upon meeting but it turns out they’ve met before {university!au} {strangers to lovers!au} {part for the ‘100 things we said’ series}

- the one with the study break. ✓ in which mark is a really annoying boyfriend who just wants you to stop studying for a moment

- the one with the theatre. ✓ DRABBLE in which mark and y/n kinda hate each other but they kiss on stage anyway

- the one with ‘that friend’. ✓ DRABBLE in which mark doesn’t want to be ‘that friend’ anymore

- the one with the tattoo. ✓ in which y/n’s tattoo suddenly disappears and it might be because of the boy from the go-kart track {soulmate!au}

- the one with the water bottle. ✓ in which mark’s water bottle is not filled with water (at all) {part of the 1ydp}

- the one with the anniversary. ✓ in which mark forgets your anniversary, but its okay because so do you {angst} {part of the 1ydp}

- the one with the glass of water. ✓ 18+ in which mark is y/n’s brother’s best friend and they really need to be quiet because it’s midnight and they’re not supposed to be doing this {smut}

- the one with the driver’s license. ✓ DRABBLE in which mark doesn’t trust you to drive. 

- the one with the ex boyfriend. ✓ in which you and your ex boyfriend, mark, take part in a video interview surrounding your past relationship. {part of the ex boyfriend series}

- the one with the lunch date. ✓ DRABBLE in which mark sleeps in and youre supposed to have a lunch date today.

- the one with the jacket. ✓ DRABBLE in which it’s cold and mark really wishes you had taken a jacket. {or: the things you said to show your love} {part of the 50 things you said series}

- the one with the bad dream. ✓ DRABBLE in which you had a bad dream and seek comfort in your roommate’s room.

- the one with the grey hoodie. ✓ DRABBLE in which you go to your ex boyfriend’s house to get the things you left there. [angst-y]

- the one with the assistants. ✓ DRABBLE in which you and mark are assistants to the worst people on the planet, but it’s not so bad when you have each other.

- the one with the emotional support boyfriend. ✓ DRABBLE in which you and mark agree to date purely for emotional support.

- the one with the tiktok. ✓ TIMESTAMP in which mark wants to film a tiktok with you, and it may or may not be because he gets to kiss you. {best friends to lovers}

- the one with the study date. ✓ TIMESTAMP in which there is confusion over whether studying together is or isn’t a date.

《《 huang renjun 》》

- the one with the cupboard in the art room COMING SOON!! in which renjun just needs more paint and he finds y/n hiding in the cupboard

- the one with the rooftop party. ✓ in which renjun and y/n meet at a party but he doesnt think they’ll ever meet again (the things you said when we thought we’d never see each other again) {university!au}

- the one with the hopeless romantic. [DRABBLE] in which renjun is a hopeless romantic and hes hopelessly in love with the girl he bumped into on the street

- the one with the ex boyfriend. ✓ in which you and your ex boyfriend, renjun, take part in a video interview surrounding your past relationship. {part of the ex boyfriends series}

- the one with the New Years eve party.  [2]  ▶▶▶ in which you’re invited to your ex boyfriend’s family’s New Years eve party [angst-y]

- the one with the second chance. ✓ in which you and renjun take part in a video interview six months later. {sequel to the one with the ex boyfriend.}

《《 lee jeno 》》

- the one with the summer job [1] ▶▶▶ in which yn needs work placement and ends up working in an infirmary to help little kids, and one very injured jeno {summer camp au} {part of the Hideaway Hollow series}

- the one where it all ends COMING SOON!! in which breaking up is for the best, but jeno and y/n want to spend the time they have left as best as possible 

- the one with the contract [1] ▶▶▶ in which y/n really likes someone else so jeno offers to date her (naturally) {part of the 100tws series} {fake dating!au} {high school!au}

- the boyfriend one. ✓ in which jeno is a boyfriend {bulleted} {part of the boyfriend!NCT series}

- the one with the lost cat. [1] ▶▶▶ in which Jeno’s looking for a cat and he finds his ex instead {neighbours!au} {exes to lovers!au} {part of the 1ydp}

- the one before it ends. [1] ▶▶▶ in which a break-up is for the best but dammit theyre gonna spend what little time they have as best as possible {angst-y}

- the one with the ex boyfriend. [jeno] ✓ in which you and your ex boyfriend, jeno, take part in a video interview surrounding your past relationship. {video interview}

- the one with the makeup. TIMESTAMP in which, somehow, you convince jeno to let you put makeup on him

- the one with the banner. DRABBLE in which you want to celebrate Jeno’s last day as an MC

- the one with coffee boy. TIMESTAMP in which jeno is a barista and gives you a free coffee.

- the one with the school dance. DRABBLE in which Jeno wishes he had asked you to the school dance.

- the one with the unsent messages. in which jeno still wants to text you all the time, even after you broke up. {angst}

《《 lee donghyuck (haechan) 》》

- the one where you’re enemies [1] [2] ▶▶▶ in which haechan and y/n are chemistry partners and a project might be enough to bring them together {text au}

- the one with the desk mates COMING SOON!! in which the teachers think you and donghyuck are cute and make you desk mates all the time and ngl theres a bit of chemistry there (and it’s not just because of the chemicals in the lab)

- the one with the study date COMING SOON!! in which donghyuck and y/n need to study but he has a habit of breaking things {high school!au}

- the one with the balcony. ✓ in which it’s too cold to sleep outside and donghyuck can’t sleep in his own room {part of the 100 things we’ve said project} {enemies to lovers!au} 

- the boyfriend one. ✓ in which donghyuck is a boyfriend {bulleted} {part of the boyfriend!NCT series}

- the one with the bruises. ✓ in which donghyuck gets hurt but luckily his neighbour is there to help fix him up {neighbour!au} {part of the 100 things we’ve said series}

- the one with the social butterfly. [12:12] in which hyuck could totally confess if you didn’t stop to talk to someone new every three seconds. [blurb]

- the one with the ex boyfriend. [donghyuck] ✓ in which you and your ex boyfriend, donghyuck, take part in a video interview surrounding your past relationship. [part of the ex boyfriend!nct series]

- the one with the note. ✓ TIMESTAMP in which your crush gives you a note in class. {crack/humour}

- the one with the mind reading. ✓ DRABBLE in which Renjun can read minds, and he knows Donghyuck is thinking about you. 

- the one where you’re someone else. [pt.2] ▶▶▶ in which you wake up in someone else’s body. more than once. {body switch!au} {enemies to lovers!au}

- the one where it’s not valentines day. ✓ DRABBLE in which your boyfriend hates valentine’s day but loves you.

- the one with the birthday wishes. ✓ DRABBLE in which donghyuck loves to celebrate your birthday.

- the one with the study date. ✓ TIMESTAMP in which the study date with your best friend turns into a real date. {best friends to lovers}

《《 na jaemin 》》

- the one with the washing machine [1] [2] [+ bonus] ✓ in which y/n lives in the same building as jaemin and the common laundry is a very messy place {neighbours!au}

- the one with the summer camp [1] ▶▶▶ in which y/n and jaemin are both ‘team leaders’ at a summer camp for little people and he may be hot but goddammit your collection of twelve-year-olds are going to beat his into the dust if its the last thing they do {part of the Hideaway Hollow series} {summer camp!au}

- the one with the mistletoe COMING SOON!! in which both jaemin’s crush and mistletoe are at this party so let’s make it happen {high school!au}

- the shopping one. ✓ in which jaemin goes shopping with you {bulleted}

- the one with all the ajax. ✓ in which y/n needs to clean her apartment and she finds a lot more than cleaning products in the apartment above her own

- the one with the detention. [1] ▶▶▶ in which jaemin’s a bit of an asshole but y/n is determined to do this chemistry project {enemies to lovers!au}

- the one with the ex boyfriend. [jaemin] ✓ in which you and your ex boyfriend, jaemin, take part in a video interview surrounding your past relationship.

- the one with the threat. TIMESTAMP in which you ask your best friend if he’s going to kiss you

- the one on Spotify. TIMESTAMP in which your crush is listening to your music.

- the one where you’re someone else. ▶▶▶ in which you wake up in someone else’s body. more than once. {body switch!au} {high school!au}

- the one where you break his heart. TIMESTAMP in which jaemin shows up at your house but you might love someone else. {fwb!au} {angst}

- the one with all the voicemails. in which your best friend always leaves you voicemails even though you never check them. {best friends to lovers!au}

- seven minutes in heaven + crush!jaemin [DRABBLE]

《《 zhong chenle 》》

- the one with the halloween party. ✓ in which y/n and chenle are enemies but can’t recognise each other at a costume party {high school!au} {bulleted fic}

- the one with the ex boyfriend. ✓ in which you and your ex boyfriend, chenle, take part in a video interview surrounding your past relationship.

- the one with the prom date. DRABBLE in which chenle is or isn’t your prom date, depending on who you ask.

- the one where you’re gone. TIMESTAMP in which chenle can still recognise your perfume even months after you break up. {short}

- the one with the impromptu picnic. TIMESTAMP in which you and your boyfriend have a picnic but you’re dating your relationship the whole time. {short} {inspired by are you bored yet? by wallows and clairo}

《《 park jisung 》》

- the one with the girl who calls him stringbean. [10:22] in which jisung’s girlfriend calls him stringbean and he can’t figure out why he doesn’t like it {timestamp}

- the one with the whipped cream. ✓ DRABBLE in which you and your boyfriend pull a prank on the others, and revenge is imminent

- the one with the ex boyfriend. ✓ in which you and your best friend, jisung, take part in an interview surrounding your past relationship.

fake texts and social media

- stupid questions with nct dream COMPLETED.

- nct dream twitter COMPLETED.

- nct dream vs. renjun on twitter COMPLETED.

- a meme hyuck moodboard

- asking best friend!donghyuck out on a date COMPLETED.

answered questions

- what sort of fashion/style on a girl would donghyuck be attracted to?

- what sort of fashion/style on a girl would jeno be attracted to?

- if nct dream were woolies bakery items, what would they be?

- if nct dream were dog breeds, what would they be?

- if nct dream were nct dream title tracks, what would they be?

- what would nct dream major in in uni?

- nct dream x Brooklyn 99 characters

fic inspiration / title a fic for me challenge

the one with the superpowers [NCT Dream series] paint me [Huang Renjun x reader] the one with the list [Johnny Suh x reader] [Nakamoto Yuta x reader] the one with the nicotine addiction[Lee Taeyong x reader] the one with the glitter pens [Lee Donghyuck x reader] the one where chenle’s a vampire [Zhong Chenle x reader] contradicting thoughts [Mark Lee x reader] the one where mark finds out [Mark Lee x reader] xoxo valentine [Jung Jaehyun x reader] mark of a star [Mark Lee x reader]

the one with the lost bookmark [Qian Kun x reader] the one with the half-finished sentence [Mark Lee x reader] the one with the purple hair [Johnny Suh x reader] the one with the allergies [Lee Jeno x reader] the one with the cinnamon bun air freshener [Johnny Suh x reader] the one with the ninja turtles phone case [Mark Lee x reader] the one with the secret identity [Mark Lee x reader] the one with the stuck pickle jar [Johnny Suh x reader] the one with the spell book [Lee Jeno x reader]

coronavirus inspired fic ideas

THE BOYZ

all works

the boyz as hogwarts students [OT12]

ATEEZ

all works

《《 choi san 》》

- the one with the practice room. DRABBLE in which san’s tired after dance practice and just wants to cuddle.

☁︎- Angst  ♣︎ - Fluff  ☀︎- Mature Themes  ♥- Personal Favorite  ✉- Requested

Keep reading

Please someone read this lawlu fic series, I beg you

It´s just way to good please someone read it, the representation is immaculate and the way they understand each other is just perfect.

I just need someone to talk to about this fic 

https://archiveofourown.org/series/2748235