kim dokja and his shaggy hair he doesnt want to bother spending money to cut it. kim dokja and his egg-on-rice dinner fives days in a row because he doesnt know any other recipes. kim dokja and his cheap ikea* bookshelf that only have his uni textbooks in them and nothing else. kim dokja and the christmas ornament he stole from the store one day just because the anime figurine guy looked like yjh even though he doesnt have anywhere to put it.
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Was rereading chapter 463 today. He one hundred percent deserved that lightning bolt.
‘The best form of brainwashing was repeating yourself’ I’m dying. So will he.
I've been thinking about 15 year old kim dokja and I can picture so clearly the kind of quintessential chunni he was
classmates making snarky little comments over his head like "oooh watch out for kim dokja, don't bother him too much, he'll go crazy like his mother and kill you" "that wimp could not fucking touch me haha" "if you sit next to him you'll catch his crazy" stupid kid shit and he stays silent and doesn't raise his head, doesn't give them the satisfaction of a reaction but under the surface he is boiling, he's clenching his fists and bitting his lip, trembling with helpless anger at the wicked unfairness of it all.
when no one is looking, he stared through his bangs at the back of song minwoo's head, thinking "what if I did? what if I stabbed you right now? that would show you" spiteful dark revenge fantasies every sad kid who hates school has, an emotional attempt at self-comfort that doesn't really mean anything
but they're right about him, aren't they. kim dokja DOES have it in him to snap and kill if pushed too far but he has repressed that instinct so deep he doesn't even let himself remember it. so instead he sighs and shakes his head cause it's useless to think about that stuff, just ignore it, don't let him get to you, kim dokja
i have many thoughts on lee gilyoung and kim dokja but i fear i may explode if i try to articulate them fully
there is something to be said in the way kdj and orv as a whole really tends to sidestep lgy. like kdj cares about lgy of course. and orv obviously wants us to care about lgy or else they would have killed him off for shock value or fridged him way earlier than they did or something. and yet he remains in the main story but still on the sidelines
i think there is something very sad to be said about how kdj very openly tends to love on/lavish attention onto sys and like consciously acknowledge that she is, in many ways, his daughter, yet doesnt really do the same for lgy. there is something very sad to be said about the way kdj tends to refer to sys individually, but only to lgy in the collective "kids." there is something very sad in the way kdj saw himself in lgy the first time he saw him on the subway and saw him both as a boy to be saved and a tool to be used and i dont think their relationship ever really recovered from this.
like he cares about them because he doesnt want to be a shitty father-figure but hes a shitty father-figure because he cares. and while sys is saved from the brunt of this to a degree because shes a character so he can just mimic how yjh treats her in worldlines where she's saved and get by on that, lgy doesnt have that kind of support. lgy is not a fictional wunderkid or pitiable, fragile little girl (however true or false that assessment of sys is). hes a snot nosed foul mouthed violent boy obsessed with bugs and death and kdj, i think, knows he ought to care for him but he doesnt know how and doesnt bother to learn and that, i believe, the not-bothering that is, is what truly incriminates him as a shitbag father. hes afraid so he doesnt try and lgy spends 90% of orv being terrified kdj secretly hates him and the worst part is hes almost right
kim dokja and bihyungs dynamic before they get used to each other is so funny. me and the guy i keep trapped in my torture dungeon for entertainment (he keeps torturing himself and the others in new and creative ways i hadn't thought about before. hes actually kind of better at this than i am. im kinda scared)
sangsoohee requested by anonymous for @orv-gotcha-for-gaza 💞
i think more modern aus should commit to trying to translate yoohankims batshit neuroses about each other to a non-apocalyptic scenario. i love an au where kim dokja was yoo joonghyuk's first watcher when he started streaming with han sooyoung as his mod and han sooyoung makes yoo joonghyuk stream every night to make sure kim dokja keeps watching and doesnt kill himself and theyre both doing it for him but of course they both get in simultaneous dramatic car accidents that gives them both amnesia so they forget kim dokja was their first watcher. but he stays a fan for 13 years (and gets into internet beef with han sooyoung in the meantime) and then they all meet dramatically. so kim dokja manipulates the shit out of yoo joonghyuk to make his twitch channel blow up even more 'for his own good' while also engaging in psychosexual mind games with han sooyoung until he fakes his own death and runs away with his biological daughter (via bihyung obvs) and han sooyoung and yoo joonghyuk (who have forgotten each other too but realise their shared backstory over the course of the journey) have to hunt him down and confess their love. and its a coffee shop au btw
Very interesting and fascinating to me that even after doing so much 5D chess and the novel being his only strength throughout all this, Kim Dokja's self loathing is so strong that he contemplates if someone else had read the novel instead of him, someone more "talented" than him, things would be somehow better.
Equally hilarious to me is all these people are agreeing that TWSA was actually such a fuckass boring novel that they were glad Kim Dokja read it because they could never bring themselves to sit through it
Well fucks? Get to it!
Any Pronouns, Agender Aromantic, ORV fan 💚On AO3 as WishingToBeAnonymous
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