You Know How Caleo Shouldve Ended? Not Together

Headcanons for my Teenage Dirtbag AU!!!!

(A lot of these will be Darius-centric, he's my favourite character leave me alone)

Darius has one of those old man leather wallets and keeps a group photo of the hagsquad in it

Eda and Raine are Partners In Crime™️ and it drives Darius up the wall

Lilith hasn't yet left for the Emperor's Coven, but everytime she gets roped into irresponsible shenanigans by the gang she starts panicking that it will "end up on her record" and stop her from moving up the ranks

Darius is the most responsible of the group and so ends up having to talk his way into getting them off scot-free whenever they do less-than-legal stuff

Raine grew their hair out just a little over their collar and Darius never stops making fun if it

"... shit." "Not as shit as whatever the hell you did to your hair." "Oh fuck off-" etc.

Darius had a vErY EmBarRaSIng cRuSh on Alador before they actually got together and no-one will let it go

"I'm meeting up with Alador later and-" "OooOOoo going on a date with your boyfriend?!?!" "S-SHUT THE FUCK UP"

Pre-Aladarius, Eda and Raine once cornered Alador and interrogated him abt his feelings for Darius (Alador was terrified)

Eda had a crusty old flip-scroll that was so cracked it barely turned on from her throwing it around constantly

Darius bitches and bickers with everyone sm people think he hates the hagsquad even though they're all literally his best friends

If you have any questions abt this au btw I am SO ready to ramble lmao

I used Wigglypaint and made some commemorative paws to remember The Great Boopening long after it's ended. Use 'em for whatever, they're free for anything. 🐾

Plus a second ginger color way because I realized after the fact that they gave it brown paw pads, so here's a brown one.

Hear me out-

The marauders never knew just how batshit crazy the skittles were. They had only heard some rumors but never truly saw their antics, I mean sure they had heard that one of them had set the lab on fire, or the other slept with half the school, or even that they poisoned slug horn. Yet never the fights, the weed, the insane things that thy consider normal. Especially Sirius, he expected his goody two shoes brother's friends to be pretentious assholes.

Cut to when jegulus started dating, the two friend groups started to interact, and that's when they saw how crazy they were. It started as everyone was sitting in the Slytherin common room, then out of nowhere barges on barty and Pandora cackling while running away from something, that's when Evan who was standing closest to the door quickly shut it with a shit eating grin. Regulus let out an exasperated sigh and then Dorcas with a subtle smirk "what'd you two do this time?" And with the most terrifying grin Pandora, sweet, sweet Pandora said in the most soft voice "we jinxed Snape then we lit the classroom on fire" Regulus then just smiled and said "awww thank guys you didn't have to" in the most sarcastic tone despite his smile.

Yeah, that was another thing about the skittles, they were OVERprotective, those guys would kill for each other if the occasion arise. The marauders saw a lot of their antics, from laughing as thy jinx or curse someone, to smoking weed in the perfect's room and playing tag (ON THE EDGE OF THE ASTRONOMY TOWER) but what tops the disastrous cake is when they saw just to which extent their cruelty reaches.

It started with a commotion in the halls, Remus was the first to arrive, then Sirius, and oh was he shocked. He saw his little cousin, HIS LITTLE COUSIN narcissa being hugged by Pandora, while barty absolutely beats the living shit out of Mulciber and Lucius. He looked manic, nose and lip bleeding, but he had this crazed look in his eyes, and a grin of pure evil. All while Evan is smirking at him and Regulus and Dorcas apply healing charms on Mulciber and Lucius so they wouldn't pass out. They were all laughing, Regulus. Was. Laughing. Maniacally. Then narcissa comes up to Regulus and whispers something in his ear. "That's enough barty" he then says. Barty, the fucking maniac seems reluctant to back off until Evan quite literally pulls him off and throws him over his shoulder. Regulus walks menacingly towards the two assholes on the floor, "I'll say this once and once only, you talk like that about my cousin or touch her without her consent one more time and we'll cut you tiny dicks off to shove them so far down your throats till they come out your ass with your shitty personality, got it? " they just nod while the deemed "skittles" saunder off.

Sirius wanted to rip his hair out, james was beyond turned on, Peter looked traumatized while lily was chuckling and Remus looked amused.

Another incident was when both groups were sitting together and a Raven claw came up to then. He was eyeing lily and Dorcas weirdly. "Hey ladies, how about you and I leave those losers alone and have some fun? " they looked beyond uncomfortable, "no thanks mate we're not into that." The guy frowned "I promise you won't regret it, I've got a way with girls". " look pal, they said they weren't interested " snarled barty. "Says the person who slept with half the school, shut up whor-" before he even finishes, he was on the floor, a livid Evan looming over him. "Fucking scum, let's leave"

It took about a week and a half of James and Regulus dating before the marauders realized how fucking batshit crazy they were.

the most fucked up thing ever is being obsessed w ur own oc. why do i have to make content of them why cant they just magically appear on my screen for me to reblog 200 times. fucked up and also evil

my only complaint is that the paws appear when you boop someone and not when someone boops you. I want to be scrolling and minding my own business and suddenly get whapped by a cat paw

pro-hero au dabihawks!

Ares: Love is weakness and an evolutionary mistake.  Apollo: You are literally making a Valentine’s day card for Aphrodite.  Ares, pointing his hot glue gun towards Apollo: You’re on thin fucking ice.