"Taking A Crap On The Establishment. I Salute You!"

marvel universe dashboard simulator: spideytorch ship war edition

🤟 spideyparktorchtruther Follow

🕷️ spideyslut22468

god i'm so fucking tired of hearing about johnny fucking storm's love life. it's always spideytorch this, stormparker that, and now i have to deal with this new monstrosity of a ship? have we considered maybe leaving them alone? these are real ass people, why are you even shipping them anyways? go find some anime twinks to thirst over

4,235 notes

🧟 avgnwyrkr Follow

so anyways i still haven't stopped thinking about that one tiktok where the person saw spider-man chilling eating a hot dog one day and went up to him to ask him what he thought about peter parker and it was so obvious the person was trying to start some drama or whatever but instead spidey just apparently went on for like ten minutes about how awesome peter parker is and how good he is at photography and how smart he is and how they've been friends for like ten years

guys, what if we've been wrong all along? what if spidey really isn't in love with johnny? what if he's in love with peter instead?

😏 shutterbugsupremacy Follow

that's what i've been saying!! i mean guys? peter parker is LITERALLY the only photographer that spidey ever allows to get proper photos of him? he's been taking photos of spidey since he was in high school! he literally put out a photobook that was entirely pictures of spider-man.

🕷️ spideyslut22468

y'all are reaching so hard i'm surprised you haven't pulled a muscle. if parker was really in love with spidey would he have sold his pictures to a newspaper that does nothing but slander spider-man's good name? from what i've heard, jjj pays parker pretty well for his spider-man photos. he's not taking pictures of spidey out of love or anything, it's all just for money. same with the book. he's a sellout.

😏 shutterbugsupremacy Follow

hey man, we all gotta eat somehow, and spidey has said in the past that he doesn't care about parker working for the bugle. also, see above about the video where spidey talks about how awesome parker is. maybe you need to cool your jets, yeah?

🕷️ spideyslut22468

spider-man has been friends with johnny storm literally since the fantastic four came onto the superhero scene, obviously he's gonna play nice when asked about his best friend's long-term boyfriend regardless of how he actually feels about parker. y'all are just looking for signs where there aren't any.

345 notes

🥰 stormparkerownsmysoul

look, i know that we've all had our differences in the past, but let us not think about what sets us apart, but rather what brings us all together.

16,345 notes

❎ superheroshipbrackets

310 notes

❤️‍🔥 spideytorchendgame Follow

me talking to anyone that will listen about my theory that peter parker is just a beard for johnny storm to help keep his actual relationship with spider-man a secret

❤️‍🔥 spideytorchendgame Follow

like guys just hear me out okay? spider-man obviously wouldn't want his real identity to be well known to the public, and publicly dating johnny would put him at constant risk of being found out. so that's why they have johnny fake date peter parker! he's the perfect candidate! i mean, we all know he has ties to, like, a ridiculous number of superheroes. he's worked for both reed richards and tony stark, and people have snapped pics of him hanging out with captain america and deadpool. he's even been spotted with daredevil and daredevil hates everyone! so him dating johnny wouldn't really put him at any more danger of being targeted by villains than he was already in. and what's in it for peter? i mean, he gets to live in the baxter building (he probably has his own secret apartment and doesn't actually live with johnny) and probably gets a bunch of expensive gifts and stuff to compensate for all the shit he has to put up with for being johnny's partner.

2,463 notes

for some reason middle aged comic fans coming on the internet to defend their decision as to why they thought a twelve year old should have died or lived is so funny 😭😭😭

me reading straight up pornography: hmm… this one just doesn’t have enough accurate character psychoanalysis to get me off

Stephen had just wrapped up his last surgery. He had an opening for a few hours to finish up some paper worknsince the eight hour surgery was done in just five.

He opened the door to the office and was about to close the door when he noticed someone sleeping on the small couch. They were in scrubs, hugging one of those decorative pillows that Christine got him as a way to make his office more inviting.

Sighing, he clears his throat loudly before speaking. Startling the sleeping figure awake.

" Look, I get it. I've been there and done that. But sleep in the break room or one of the closest. Not in my office where patients come in, mister...."

" Oh! I am so sorry! Uh, Peter . Didn’t mean to fall asleep, came in, and dropped off some paperwork. But this couch was so comfy! No excuse, though. "

" Yeah. Get out."

Then Stephen started seeing the guy almost every time he worked now. Stephen would think it's stalking if it wasn't for the fact that it's HIM walking into the room and spotting this Peter guy.

Peter, who is always with a tablet or notebook. Peter talking to a wide variety of people. Peter getting coffee for the nurses at the station. Peter laughing at a bad joke that Jeff from accounting, who was trying to flirt. Who laughs at his jokes? They are horrible. Peter was too good looking and too NICE it seem to think Jeff from accounting was funny.

Finally, after a few weeks, he is sitting with Christine at a table in the cafeteria when Parker walks in to get in the lunch line.

Nodding towards Peter, he asks Christine.

" What's the deal with that guy? I keep seeing him around."

Christine turns around to see who he is speaking about.

" Oh! That's Peter. He is here because of the research grant he received. They should be starting the trails in a few weeks. Wait. - You should know this?"

Stephen frowns.

" Why should I know this?"

" Stephen! He developed the synthetic webbing that, if successful, will help with repairing nerves. You requested this grant to be approved because you think it will help you..."

Stephen stares at Christine for a moment before looking at Peter. Peter, who is actually Dr. P. Parker, who has several masters and doctorates. Peter who was laughing with the lunch lady as he opened up two extra sugar packets to put in his already sweet hot chocolate drink he ordered.

Peter, who Stephen kicked out of his office and had avoided interacting with.

" Shit"

Do you like enemies to lovers because it’s hot or do you like enemies to lovers because you think of yourself as unlovable & unworthy of love and therefore like the idea of someone seeing all the worst in you right away and still falling in love with you anyways

Tony, angry for no reason: Nobody talk to me, I'm fucking angry!

Peter, pouting: Not even me?

Tony, frowning: No, of course not, why would you say that? You can always talk to me.

Tony, still angry: I'm still angry so no one is allowed to talk to me!

Tony, turning to Peter, using his soft tone: Except you, Tesoro. I love you. I love talking to you.

Just going to be thinking about how Bucky and Peter are both people who've been relegated to sidekicks living in the shadows of a "greater, brighter, more brilliant" hero. A hero that they care about but have been constantly compared to by everyone around them and by themselves. Both people who were lost after Endgame in a way that left them reeling and not able to really experience any closure, and struggling with finding their feet again after that; clutching onto a relic of their time together and working through a whole lot of denial that some things from the "good old days" weren't healthy

Neither Peter nor Bucky really got what the hell was going on at that airport, the most mental shit was happening, they were really just there, existing on the periphery of all this other bullshit developing with the Avengers and space and the quantum realm and whatever. They were both kind of pointed in a direction and told to roll with it from day one

seeing those two properly interact in live action again after what will be twelve years by the time Doomsday comes out, with how much of their storylines have paralleled, would be really, really interesting.

Not to mention I really hope Peter's more like his bitchier comic book self by then, since he'll be in his 20s and has gone through just all the trauma, so much trauma. That would be fantastic to watch bounce off Bucky's bitchy, traumatized sass too. God, Peter asking Bucky what his grown up name is, and Bucky just point blank saying "I don't understand" when Peter refuses a gun?? Right off the pages of the comics?? That would be pure gold.

Amazing Spider-Man #317 (1989)