Headcannon That Due To Diligently Monitoring The Wayne Family’s Media Image, Alfred Is Chronically

THIS GUY LITERALLY KILLS PEOPLE. REBLOG IF YOU WANT TO JOIN HIM !

Happy caturday😁🐈

I just stop crying after seeing techno's offrenda 😭😭😭

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Alfred: Who is this?

Seven year old Bruce: His name is Danny. He's my older brother

Alfred: You're an only child. You don't have a brother.

Bruce: Mom? Dad? Do I have a brother?

Thomas: I only ever loved your mother, and I find baby-making repulsive—no offense, Brucie—so biologically, no, you don't have a brother. Emotionally, on the other hand, if you feel like he is your brother, I don't mind calling him my son. It's not like I can't afford it, nor can this lad outrun me.

Alfred: That's... kidnaping, sir.

Martha: Oh don't be so uptight Alfred. You Brits worrry about the sillist of things.

Alfred: Silly thing? You mean the law!?

Martha: Yes, that's a pesky thing. Besides, he has my eyes and Thomas' nose! That's obviously our son.

Bruce considering Danny: He does have your nose, dad.

Thomas proud: A chip off the old block that one. Good job catching your brother Brucie.

Bruce: Thank you! I used my innocent face like you said, Mom!

Martha beaming: A pretty face is a valuable weapon, darling!

Alfred whispering to Danny: Blink four times if you want me to get you out of here. The Waynes are not entirely sane.

Danny:..... The kid just said he needed someone to walk him home cause he was lost.

Alfred: That's how they get you. I once offered Master Thomas my coat during a suprise downpour. That was four years ago, and now I'm a butler. He gave me an embroidered apron with the words, "You're mine now, Brit"

TOMORROW IS HALLOWEEN

TOMORROW IS HALLOWEEN!!!

Body horror boarding school

First thing you see after you zoom in is how you die

How you dying 👀

When you're by the sea and an eel bites you're knee that's a moray

Today in niche genres of joke that I can never get enough of and will probably still be secretly thinking about four years later

Eranrah

YOUR DRAGON NAME

last two letters of your first name

middle two letters of your last name

first two letters of your mother’s name

last letter of your father’s name

mine would be Urlelan. Reblog and tag this with yours!