Just Between Us, Do You Remember It All Too Well?

(+🍞) he got that boyish look that i like in a man ꜝꜝ

everybody's falling in love and i'm falling behind

like the moodboard? it's for @the-one-and-only-delphi's lovely runner oc: choi yumi! click here to read our lovely runner fanfic. make sure u follow me and stay tuned! thank you, bye!! <3

also i literally screamed when i saw minji's cover of 'falling behind' yumi is so laufey coded and it felt so surreal to see it on my fyp. i can't believe i made so many moodboards for my wips as teasers and decided to post an impulsively written fic with delphi ijbol.

˚. ♩ i'm the wind in our free-flowing sails ⁺ . and the liquor in our cocktails ⭒ ֗

xlii. piercing through my soul

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CHAPTER FORTY-TWO ─ piercing through my soul.

❛ i wanna hold you just for a while

and die with a smile ❜

Choi Eunyoung's Perspective

The chatter and buzz in the interview room rekindled after the cameraman's "Cut!" People switching off all the extra studio lights, packing up their things and chatting with each other. The tense atmosphere that previously hung over the room while the filming was ongoing was replaced with a new friendliness and lightheartedness. Words of encouragement and several people saying "Good job!" seemed to raise everyone's spirits. 

I heaved a quiet sigh the moment the cameras were out. During the interview, I felt as if I had been holding my breath the whole time. Never in my career of doing interviews for famous, influential personalities had I ever felt so nervous. At the same time, I knew I was obviously holding myself back. Every cell in my body wanted to drop all formalities and throw my arms around him and tell him how glad I was to see him. 

His experience writing 'Sonaki' was something that pricked me from inside. His words constantly echoed inside my mind. He met her on a rainy day. It was dangerously similar to how I met Sunjae. A part of me- the hopeful part, wanted to believe desperately that it was me. Despite wanting to hold onto the hope, an anxious and worried voice inside me told me not to get excited over it. It was too good to be true. Him writing a poetic masterpiece about his first love who was none other than me? It sounded impossible. I was also afraid. Afraid of being wrong after thinking it was about me. At the end of the day, I'm nothing more than his fan. And to him, all he's going to remember me is as a distant memory from his teenage years.

I gave in to all my temptations as I stole a glance at Sunjae, sitting across from me rummaging through his bag and talking about something or the other with his manager. I nearly smiled seeing his relaxed posture and radiant glow. Something about him had changed in the best way possible. He looked happy, and that was enough for my heart to be content. For a split second, our eyes met and I tore away forcefully and unnaturally, probably making a fool out of myself. It was too much. Seeing him again uprooted so many repressed feelings.

Soon, he was telling his manager to go on without him and saying that he would be out soon. Watching his manager leave the room, I found myself thinking- Am I really going to be here alone with him? It hadn't even been that long since I'd last seen him, yet my heart pounded in my ears like a thousand drums.

"Hey," he began once he was sure everyone was gone. I nearly jumped out of my skin hearing his voice, "It's been a while, huh? How've you been?"

"Hi," I answered with a small smile. So he remembers me... "Yeah, it's been ages. I've been good. How 'bout you? How's everything?"

"Good, you know. Life's full of surprises," he answered, smiling.

"That's nice to know; You...look... good- like you've been well," I stuttered like an idiot, "This is awkward, isn't it?"

"Yeah," he agreed, sounding disappointed, "It's been too long, I guess."

"Yeah."

An uncomfortable silence filled the air as we both looked here and there, thinking hard about what to say next. It seemed like both of us had a hundred thoughts racing through our minds, but no words nor courage to express them.

"You don't have any like... illness or anything lately, do you?" I asked slowly, afraid of the answer.

"No, not at all," he answered, sounding confused.

"I read some of the articles you wrote," he said after a few more moments of silence.

"About Eclipse?" I asked, sounding a bit too eager.

"Yeah," he replied, fidgeting with his clothes, "And other things. Your writing's as good as ever."

"Thanks," I cracked a real smile, "Should we go? Your manager must be waiting."

"Yeah."

We made our way through the door and into the elevator. I had never realized that our building elevator had no mirror. Or music. I stared at the ground, soaking in all the silence between us. The awkwardness sent a chill down my spine. I wanted to do something. I wanted to tell him that I missed him. But that would make things even more awkward and I would die of embarrassment.

Gosh, were elevator rides here always so insufferable?

The elevator finally stopped at the ground floor after what felt like a million years, and we exited the building, still completely quiet. Standing on the pavement looking onto the highway, I looked up at Sunjae, who was already looking. My face felt hot as I forgot what I was about to say.

"So this is it?" he said with a hint of sadness in his voice.

"We should keep in touch this time," I blurted out too quickly. Why was I so jittery? "You can get my number from your manager."

"Yeah, let's do that," he said with a smile, finally showing his beautiful dimples. I returned his smile, feeling my heart swell up at the very sight of a happy Sunjae.

"My manager's car is over there across the street," he said, looking at the black car parked on the other side of the road, "I'll see you?"

"You will," I said with conviction, the smile never leaving my face.

I watched as the made his way across the zebra crossing, going further away, but in that moment, he felt the closest that evening. The soft glow of the streetlamp and the dim starlight seemed to give me a glimmer of hope. That this was the beginning of something new. Something special. Then, as if to throw water over all my happiness, I loud crashing sounded, like a huge truck suddenly stopping. My eyes went wide as my body seemed to freeze from shock. I felt my blood go cold.

Time seemed to splinter into fragments, each one more agonizing than the last, as I watched the massive, green truck barrel forward, unstoppable. There was a horrid screeching of brakes, but it was too late—the impact was thunderous, like the world cracking open right before my eyes. Sunjae's body collided with the force of the vehicle, a sickening blur of motion as he was thrown to the ground, his form limp and unmoving.

A piercing cry escaped my throat, one I barely recognized as my own. My chest constricted, an unbearable ache tearing through me as if the impact had shattered not only him but every part of me, too. For a brief, surreal moment, I couldn't move; I was paralyzed, bound by the horror of what I'd just witnessed, by the helplessness sinking like iron into my bones.

I stumbled forward, heart hammering wildly, tears blurring my vision as I rushed toward him. "Sunjae!" I cried, my voice trembling, desperate. My knees hit the ground beside him, the unforgiving pavement scraping through the fabric of my jeans, but I barely registered the sting. All I could see was his stillness, his face pale and serene in a way that frightened me more than any amount of pain ever could.

A sob broke free, raw and guttural, as I reached for his hand, cold and heavy in mine. Memories flooded my mind—his laughter, his warmth, the look in his eyes when he talked about the future, a future I suddenly couldn't see. It was slipping from me, unraveling like sand through my fingers, and I was powerless to stop it. The sight of him lying there, broken, filled me with a heartbreak so deep I felt hollowed out from within. I could feel my heart shattering, piece by piece, each shard lodging painfully within me.

"Please...please, Sunjae," I whispered, voice breaking as I clutched his hand, unable to stop my tears. The world had collapsed around us, reduced to this one horrible moment, to the unbearable thought of losing him.

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nana's notes: sunjae's death breaks me in every timeline.

delphi's notes: here we go again.

next chapter: friday (out now!) list of chapters here!

xli. threads of fate and regret

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CHAPTER FORTY-ONE ─ threads of fate and regret.

❛ you stood there in front of me, just close enough to touch ❜

Ryu Sunjae's Perspective

Fireworks seemed to go off inside me when I walked into the interview room. A wave of deja vu hit me when the rapid thumping of my heart sounded in my ears just like the first time I found out that Eunyoung was going to interview me. Since the time I started preparing to release 'Sonaki,' all my past feelings slowly began resurfacing. I could envision myself, a lovestruck nineteen year old sitting in my bedroom and writing the song, thinking of Eunyoung and occasionally gazing at her window that was just in front of mine. I kept telling myself that it was just a memory in the past. I couldn't accept the fact that my feelings were exactly the same after fifteen long years.

It felt quite pathetic, to be honest. To think that I spent two years with her by my side, and still never had the guts to tell her how I felt filled me with insurmountable regret. I would have given anything to go back in time and hold on to her. 

Sitting across from her, responding to each question with careful, practiced formality, felt like the most challenging task of my entire career. With every carefully measured word, I felt my resolve slipping, as though the years we spent apart had only heightened this ache within me. It took every ounce of restraint not to close the distance between us, to forget the cameras and the professionalism and tell her just how much I'd missed her.

As I spoke about the song, Sonaki, describing it simply as a memory from my youth, my heart pounded with the urge to reveal the truth. There was a cruel irony in it all, sitting there explaining how the song was about my first love while she remained unaware that she was the muse behind every line, the inspiration behind every note. She was still, unknowingly, my everything.

In my mind, I could see myself breaking the silence, confessing it all—how she had stayed with me, haunting my every step and shaping every melody I'd written since. But in reality, I remained stoic, carefully choosing my words, my gaze avoiding her eyes for fear of giving it all away.

"I used to be a competitive swimmer back in high school. I remember despising it whenever it rained on my way home after a long day of training. But the day I met her was a rainy day. After that day, I mysteriously found myself unable to hate the rain any longer. It was magical, unlike anything I had experienced before," I said, pouring my heart out.

"That's such a beautiful way of expressing your feelings. I'm sure whoever she is would be touched to know it."

"Actually I never got a chance to express my feelings," I confessed with an embarrassed chuckle, "It was an unrequited love."

Choi Yumi's Perspective

I sat nervously shaking my leg in the police station. I had caved and agreed to meet Taesung to help him. The truth was that I wanted to understand him. I wanted to believe more than anything that he was innocent; And if I had the power to prove that he was, then I wanted to pour my heart into this case and win at any cost.

Taesung emerged from behind one of the doors, being dragged by one of the police officers who clutched his jacket with a death grip. The nostalgia was way too obvious for me to ignore. I found myself remembering the last time I saw him sitting across me. His hair was no longer wild and crazy like back then, but a sort of mischief shone in his eyes. A smirk that seemed to ridicule the man dragging him was plastered across his face.

The two sat down across from me, the man glaring at Taesung. For a good few moments I found myself staring at Taesung. Despite the dull, muted tones that replaced his bright biker jackets, he still looked as good as the first day I encountered him outside the music club. I found it quite unfair that I looked like a Tim Burtons character while he looked ready to start a photoshoot.

"So, you're going to help me or not?" he asked right away.

"Depends," I said skeptically, "How exactly did you get yourself into this mess?"

"I have no idea."

"You have to answer seriously or I can't help you."

"So if I answer seriously you'll help me?"

"Just answer the damn question," I sighed, realizing he was just as petty and childish as before, "I haven't got all day."

"My bad," he cleared his throat, "So you know my father is a detective in the Violent Crimes Division, right?"

"Yeah," I replied, feeling curious and anxious at the same time.

"One day he had to go to one of the places where Kim Youngsoo was allegedly hiding. But he suddenly fell sick that day. 102 degree fever; And look, I'm not the biggest fan of my dad, but I couldn't let him go there like that. That's why I went in his place. Then the guy who was supposed to be there with him never showed up."

"That's quite the story."

"I'm not done," he said, "I completed the investigation like he told me to, and I brought the report home. He gave it to the higher ups and everything was fine for a couple of days. Later, we found out that he messed up the dates and the other guy went the day after that. That's when they found my fingerprints all over the place. I tried to explain this to them but they refused to believe me and now I'm here. They don't believe my dad either."

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nana's notes: writing sunjae's pov made me sob he loves her so much T_T when will it be my turn...

delphi's notes: leave it up to taesung to get into that kind of mess 👏

next chapter: saturday (out now!) list of chapters here

✟ ˚ ｡⋆ ๋࣭ and i swear . . . ( +📜 )

𓇼࣪࣪ ⁺ ๋࣭⭑ i'm only cyptic and machiavellian cause i care 𓂃 ࣪˖

xiii. pieces of my shattered heart

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CHAPTER THIRTEEN ─ pieces of my shattered heart.

❛ even in my worst times, you saw the best in me ❜

Narrator's Perspective

Taesung found himself lingering around the music club after the rest of his bandmates had left. He tried his best to explain to himself why he was waiting there. He had nothing to do after going home anyway. May as well hang around there for a while; But at the back of his mind, he knew he was waiting in hopes of seeing her.

As if she was listening to his thoughts, Yumi emerged from her usual practice room. Trying to act nonchalant, he pretended to look around.

"You're still here?" she asked. He turned to look at her, "Yeah, I'm just passing time."

"Oh."

The awkwardness in the air was painfully obvious.

"Why are you standing there like that?" he asked her.

"Like what?"

"Don't you have to go home?"

"Why are you trying to get rid of me?" she questioned suspiciously, "Are you in trouble? Doing something wrong?"

"Why do you assume the worst of me?" he demanded of her.

"Can you blame me?" she shrugged, "You're the spitting image of a delinquent. You look like the kind of guy who would beat up kids in a dark alleyway."

"Thanks for telling me what you really think of me."

"You're welcome," she answered with a sarcastic smile.

He scoffed, getting up and making his way towards the exit. Yumi was left confused at his strange behaviour, but still followed him out, realizing she needed to go home.

She saw Taesung standing sighing on the pavement. In a split second, before she could comprehend what was happening, he turned around rapidly, grabbing her by the waist and looking into her eyes with an unblinking gaze. The thumping of Yumi's heart sounded in her ears. The touch ignited a spark inside her as her eyes widened. She could hardly make sense of what she felt at that moment.

"Is she gone?" he asked.

"Huh?" Yumi squeaked out, conscious of the warmth on her face.

"The girl standing across the streets; Is she gone?"

"There's no one there."

She stumbled backwards as he let go with no word of warning. There was no way to calm the rapid beating of her heart. All she could think of was that she wanted to run away. She wasn't ready to face whatever the hell she was feeling.

"I have to study for a test," she yelped, breaking into a run.

She ran all the way home.

💿

Eunyoung stood waiting at the bus stop. She distinctly remembers going home alone every day in the past, but somehow, today Sunjae's absence affected her greatly. She missed his company, his sweet gestures and the way he made her laugh. The bus doors opened in front of her. There was no queue as per usual, but she couldn't get onto the bus. It felt as if a supernatural force was holding her back. In her hesitation, the automatic bus doors closed and the bus went on without her.

Her feet led her straight to the swimming pool. It was almost an unconscious decision. When it came to Sunjae, she seemed to act without thinking. She felt it was strange as she had always been a rational person, so why was she acting like this now?

On spotting one of the swim team members she interviewed, she went up to him and asked, "Hey, I was wondering if you've seen Sunjae?"

"You're looking for Sunjae?" he repeated, his voice laced with hesitation to answer her question, "It might not be my place to tell you this, but he was rushed to the hospital this morning."

Choi Eunyoung's Perspective

My breathing had become heavy, my vision blurred with tears and my entire body trembled in shock as I stumbled up the hospital stairs to see where Sunjae was. I could hardly believe it; I thought I averted his injury. How could this happen? How could I let this happen?

The lady at the reception told me that he had just come for a check-up and consultation and that she couldn't reveal anything more. After that, they practically kicked me out of the place and I was left sitting on the bench outside the hospital, my eyes spilling out buckets of tears.

The familiar pang of self-doubt twisted in my gut. A wave of nausea washed over me – a crushing failure to safeguard him. My mind spun, questioning my very presence in this past. Was I just a fabricated hope, a delusion of control? Was Sunjae's fate an immovable monolith, destined to crush him regardless of my intervention? The questions echoed in the hollowness of my chest, a chilling mirror to the grief that shattered me upon learning of his death. It felt as if my heart, once a fragile hope, had shattered into a million, irreparable pieces, each shard piercing through my skin as an unwelcome revelation dawned upon me.

Ryu Sunjae's Perspective

The palm of my father's hand crashed against my cheek, pain erupting on my face. Tears began to form in my eyes as I avoided his gaze. I had no desire to look at the disappointment in his eyes, which I already felt from within. The meagre physical pain couldn't compare to the storm of self-hatred that raged within me. Years of gruelling training, the sting of chlorine in my eyes, the ache in my muscles─ all replayed in my mind as if I needed to be reminded of everything I went through during my time as a swimmer that had now come to an abrupt halt. 

"You dare talk about quitting in front of me! If you ever say such nonsense again, don't you ever think of coming home!"

That was the last straw for Sunjae.  He ran blindly, the sting of tears mixing with the salty remnants of the pool on his face. He didn't care where his feet were taking him, just as long as they were taking him away from the crushing weight of his father's disappointment and the prison of his own unfulfilled dreams. His vision blurred to the point where he could no longer see the road in front of him.

Just then, he felt the touch of a familiar, delicate hand grab hold of his wrist and he came to a stop. As he wiped his tears, the sight of Eunyoung standing before him became increasingly clear. He was stunned, momentarily forgetting his sorrow that came crashing back in an instant. That was when he noticed the tears flowing from Eunyoung's eyes as she embraced him in a despairing hug. He could feel her sobbing against his shoulder, breathing heavily.

"Eunyoung, I─"

"I know," she cried as her grip around his shoulders tightened. 

Sunjae too began to sob uncontrollably, wrapping his arms around Eunyoung's waist. Words were unnecessary. In that embrace, Sunjae found a solace he hadn't known he craved. The weight of his father's disappointment, the crushing burden of his secret – it all seemed a little less unbearable with her arms wrapped around him. He clung to her silently in the middle of that dark narrow lane as the world around them seemed to dissolve.

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nayoung's notes: i just want to be hugged by sunjae. that is my new goal in life. this chapter was such a rollercoaster ride. hope you enjoyed!

delphi's notes: yumi's accusations are too funny istg. sunjae and eunyoung must be protected o((>ω< ))o

next chapter: saturday list of chapters here!

megumi x reader

the two of you are sprawled out on a blanket under the stars, sharing earbuds and an his oversized hoodie because you “forgot” to bring yours again.

megumi is lying beside you, close enough that you can feel his shoulder pressed to yours, his warmth filling the chilly air around you.

he turns his head to look at you, and you’re caught off guard by how soft his expression is, like he’s seeing something beautiful.

you laugh, a little embarrassed, but he just smiles and shakes his head. “you know,” he whispers. “sometimes, i look at you, and i can’t believe you’re real.”

you can’t help but roll your eyes a little, muttering something about how he’s so cheesy, but he just smiles wider. he catches your hand before you can hide your face.

“you can roll your eyes all you want,” he whispers, voice a little rough around the edges. “but when i’m with you it’s like you’re the dream that i get to live.”

saw this on @kpopstanmeg 's profile and thought it was cool lmao. i actually like this colour scheme it fits my style personally (irl)

; 𝘤𝘰𝘱𝘺 𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘮𝘢𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘪 𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘬𝘪𝘴𝘴 𝘮𝘦 . . .

; 𝘪𝘯𝘴𝘱𝘰 :: 𝘯𝘢𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘨𝘴-𝘢𝘳𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘪𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘵-𝘯𝘢𝘯𝘢 . . .

im making it look easy