Vii. Desperate Measures For Desperate Times

xxii. you and me and awkward silence

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CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO ─ you and me and awkward silence.

❛ don't you notice how i get quiet when there's no one else around? ❜

Narrator's Perspective

"Why are you all standing like that?" Taesung asked his friends who stood on the other side of the safety door of his house.

Taesung's birthday had arrived at last, and his friends' plan of throwing him a surprise party had fallen into place. Yumi stood at the front- against her will, for Inhyuk had pushed her ahead while everyone fumbled. The Eclipse members and Sunjae held balloons in their hands, and Yumi held the box containing the cake and a small paper bag.

All she could do was stare at his face as he repeated his question impatiently. Realising Yumi wasn't responding, Inhyuk jumped in and exclaimed, "Happy birthday! Did you think we'd forget?!"

A slow smile appeared on Taesung's face as he chuckled in disbelief. His hand reached for the doorknob, which he pushed open. The party was not a large one- the members of Eclipse, Sunjae and Yumi, but it was a meaningful one. They entered his house one by one, as Taesung stepped aside to make way. While everyone else dispersed, putting up the balloons, Yumi stood frozen before him, staring blankly, "Happy birthday," she uttered quietly.

Taesung stood motionless for a brief moment, admiring the girl in front of him. Her voice sounded like music in his ears. His eyes remained fixed on her, unable to pull away. She was dressed in a baby blue dress that hovered above her knees. The dress was sleeveless, drawing attention to her graceful arms, and it boasted a sweetheart neckline that framed her collarbone beautifully.

"Thanks," he smiled, "I'm glad you're here, piano girl."

There it was again. That nickname. Yumi thought to herself, clearing her throat. It took all the willpower in her not to misinterpret his words. What did he really mean? Plus it was really hard to focus with him standing right in front of her. She couldn't bring herself to look away from him. He was dressed in a simple monochromatic outfit- black jeans and a plain white t-shirt, and it was evident that he wasn't expecting company. Yet, there she was, staring. She moved past him, placing the cake on the coffee table in front of the couch.

"Is that for me?" he snapped her out of her thoughts, gesturing to the bag dangling from her wrist. 

"Huh?" she blurted out, "Oh, right! I got you a little something."

"What is it?" he asked as he peeked into the bag after she handed it to him. 

"Look at it later!" she spoke more urgently than she intended to. Taesung's face twisted into a confused frown, setting the bag aside for time being. His suspicion was evident through his expression, and Yumi realized that she had pretty much shot herself in the foot. A blush surfaced on her face from embarassment as she moved to where everyone else was standing.

Why am I even here? She wondered. She barely knew these people. Yet a part of her wanted to be there for him. How heartbreaking was it that his parents couldn't be there for their only son's birthday? Yumi wondered if what she felt for him was pity or something more? Yumi pushed the thought away, refusing to explore it further. It was too terrifying, too soon. She prayed she'd never have to confront those feelings.

Choi Yumi's Perspective

It was as if  I had zoned out for the entire duration of the party. I think this was my fatal flaw. I spent to much time thinking. I never took action. I just sat and thought. And thought. And thought some more until even I was afraid of my thoughts. Before I knew it, everyone had left, leaving me alone with Taesung. The thought made me want to dig a hole in the ground and bury my head in it. I told myself that since I was the only one there, I should help clean up the mess. Yet, in the back of my mind, I knew that every moment spent with him was special.

"You don't have to stay," he remarked, breaking the awkward silence that previously filled the room, "It's getting late."

"Are you kicking me out?" I asked with a hint of hostility in my voice, "I want to help."

"Who am I to argue with you?" asked to no one in particular.

We worked in silence, neither of us knowing how to start another conversation. I realised what a horrifying thing it was to be alone with my thoughts- especially with him around. Why was I behaving like this? It's not like I'm a teenage girl- I mean, I am, but I'm not at the same time. Half of me wished I could go back to my time and everything would be normal. I would be working at a miserable law firm, just like I studied for; But there was another part of me that kept stealing glances at Taesung as we picked up the trash from the wooden floors. 

What the hell is wrong with me?!

After we finished picking up the confetti and remains of the balloons (that had been popped by our small yet lively party), we stood in the living room, which had now become devoid of any evidence that it was full of liveliness a while ago.  My gaze wandered around the room and I stood completely still as if my feet were rooted to the ground. My eyes finally fixed on the green guitar placed against the wall. It was as if I was hypnotized by it as I took an unconscious step towards it.

"Do you like it?" he asked, as I tore my eyes away.

"What?"

"Do you like the guitar?" he repeated himself, the corners of his lips tugging at a smile. 

"Ummm," I stuttered, "I... I guess so? It's a nice guitar."

"Do you play?"

"No."

"Do you want to?"

I suddenly found myself unable to answer his seemingly simple question. I froze there, my stubborn voice refusing to speak. The truth is, that I felt drawn to the guitar. It was something new and exciting. I took another look at it; It was as if it had been calling my name this whole time.

"I can teach you if you like," he offered, and I thought he might have observed the manner in which I was staring at his guitar.

"Right now?" I said with too much enthusiasm. I bit my lip- was it too much?

"I mean, if you really want to," he stammered out, taken aback by my sudden display of eagerness.

I glanced at the clock, "It's already 9 o' clock," I observed.

"You're right. I should let you go home," he realized, "We can meet after music club practice tomorrow. If that's okay with you?"

"But it closes at 5," I frowned, "Where will we go?"

He thought about it for a brief moment, "How 'bout you come here?" I felt heat rise up my cheeks, "Here?" I asked, trying to figure out if I misheard him.

"My dad is usually not at home, so we won't have any disturbance," he explained.

"Sure," I agreed, trying my best to sound nonchalant.

It was almost as if I was breathless. What do I call this feeling?

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nana's notes: the tension between yumi and the guitar-

delphi's notes: something is brewing...

next chapter: friday (out now!) list of chapters here!

ii. start afresh

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CHAPTER TWO ─ start afresh.

❛ i hate it here so i will go to secret gardens in my mind ❜

Narrator's Perspective

"Oy! You over there!" hollered the girl standing in line behind Yumi, "You're holding up the entire line. Hurry up, we don't have all day!"

Yumi's head swung to look at the girl who spoke, "Sorry," she murmured an apology as she caught up with the rest of the queue. Eunyoung stood in front of her, just as confused.

They both were clad in their high school uniforms, bringing back nostalgia which couldn't erase the feeling that they had gotten lost in time. Was this a hallucination? A flashback? Neither of them were able to figure it out. As they spotted an empty table and took a seat, Eunyoung looked around the massive hall, attempting to recognize it. A wave of deja vu came over her, "Where are we? Is this-" Her voice trailed off as she made sense of the familiarity.

"What? What is it?" asked Yumi in anticipation.

"This is our cafeteria from high school" she whispered, unable to believe it herself.

"This is Jagam High School?!" she shrieked, not realizing how much attention she had drawn to herself as a result. Heads turned to look at her and students began to whisper.

"What's wrong with her?"

"What a weirdo..."

"She's realizing this now?"

"Isn't that our senior?"

"Keep your voice down," Eunyoung shushed her, slapping her shoulder.

"I don't understand," Yumi's embarrassment never surfaced due to her desire to clear the foggy haze of confusion in her head.

"Beats me," Eunyoung sympathized, taking a bite of bibimbap from her plate. As the taste hit her tastebuds, a feeling of deja vu swept over her, "The nostalgia is crazy. What happened to us? How did we end up here?"

"It's almost as if we teleported between times."

💿

After gulping down their lunch as fast as humanly possible, Yumi and Eunyoung rushed to their old- or current- classrooms. They dashed through the hallways, which were almost empty during the lunch break and sprinted up the stairs.

On entering the classroom, Eunyoung went straight to the calendar hung on a softboard at the back of the room. "2008," she whispered.

"What?" gasped Yumi.

"We've time travelled to 2008," Eunyoung couldn't believe it herself. She reached for her desk, which was in the exact place it used to be fifteen years ago. Rummaging through her bag, she looked for the Sonaki CD. To her surprise, she found it in the front pocket, exactly as she had kept it after the concert. 

"Does this have anything to do with it?" Yumi queried.

"That's what I was thinking," she suddenly realized that Sunjae attended the adjoining school, which would mean...

A frantic Eunyoung tore down the hallway, each pounding step echoing her mounting worry. The stairs became a blur as she took them two at a time, the need to reach a certain destination gnawing at her. Her legs burned with exertion, but she pushed on, driven by an unseen force until finally, she burst through the school doors and sprinted towards the pool.

Just as she reached the gate, a gruff voice stopped her in her tracks. The stern watchman, his weathered face etched with disapproval, barred her entry. "This area is off-limits, child," he boomed. "Go back inside."

Undeterred, Eunyoung's determination only intensified. Skirting the perimeter of the building, her eyes scanned for a way to see what transpired within the forbidden zone. Finally, a glimmer of hope – a small, forgotten window offered a peek into the forbidden aquatic world. Relief washed over her as she peered through the dusty pane.

Inside, a scene unfolded before her eyes. The pool, usually a serene oasis, had transformed into a battlefield of friendly competition. Half a dozen boys, sleek figures cutting through the water, participated in what appeared to be a mock race. As they finished, their bodies erupted from the surface, a symphony of droplets and triumphant cheers.

Eunyoung's gaze darted across the pool deck, searching with frantic intensity. Then, amidst the jubilant chaos, she spotted him – Sunjae. Her heart, a heavy stone in her chest moments ago, began to lighten. There he was, clad in a swimming costume, a  blue towel slung casually over his bare torso. A genuine smile stretched across his face, a stark contrast to the dark premonition that had been haunting her. In that moment, the weight of the future, the knowledge of a terrible fate that awaited him, seemed to recede for a glorious, fleeting moment. All that mattered was the sight of him, alive and happy.

💿

Eunyoung's little rendezvous to the swimming pool of the neighboring school had cost her one entire History lecture. Lost in  worry and the subsequent relief of seeing Sunjae safe, she completely lost track of time. By the time she sheepishly crept back to her classroom door, a full hour had elapsed. The stern face of her History teacher greeted her, with surprise (given Eunyoung's usual punctuality), but with a hint of disapproval that quickly morphed into exasperation. 

The lecture was in full swing, and Eunyoung, red-faced and stammering apologies, was banished to the hallway. There she stood, for what felt like an eternity, the closed classroom door a barrier not just to the ongoing lesson but also a symbol of her own lapse in judgment. The droning murmur of lecture notes from within only amplified the emptiness in her stomach  from the gnawing guilt of disrupting class. 

Finally, after what seemed like an age, the dreaded hour ended, and a new teacher arrived. This one, perhaps sensing Eunyoung's remorse in her slumped posture and downcast eyes, took pity on her. With a curt nod and a muttered warning, the teacher unlocked the door, allowing Eunyoung to slink back in, vowing to never again let her emotions override her common sense.

Yumi greeted her with a teasing smile and gestured for her to sit down beside her. Attempting to shake off the embarrassment from her punishment, she took her seat and looked straight forward at the blackboard.

"What the hell did you do?" asked Yumi in whispers.

"I paid a visit to the swimming pool," she whispered back, her unwavering eyes glued to the backboard.

"Swimming pool? Why?" as she pondered over the possible reasons Eunyoung would go there, all of a sudden, the realization hit her. She smirked at Eunyoung, "Oh, I see how it is."

This time, Eunyoung turned to look at Yumi, understanding her implications, "Oh, shut up, You know it's not like that. I went so I could see Sunjae."

"In a swimming costume, that is," Yumi added cheekily.

"Stop putting words in my mouth and focus on the class."

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nayoung's notes: i had a lot of internal conflict (marcus brutus core 🎀) about how to start this scene. what i originally decided with delphi was that they wake up at home, but i thought it would be more fun if they ended up somewhere abruptly, and what better place to embarrass my (our) characters than in school? hope u liked it!

delphi's notes: i love the last dialogue between our characters ajnakds. nana and i would definitely have that kind of conversation lmfao.  eunyoung i know what you are ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

@the-one-and-only-delphi

next chapter: friday! (out now) list of chapters here!

xlii. rain, romance and revelations

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CHAPTER FIFTY-TWO ─ rain, romance and revelations.

❛ but i can't help myself, when you get close to me ❜

Choi Eunyoung's Perspective

Sunjae and I sat side by side on his living room couch, dripping with rainwater that soaked into the sofa fabric. The couch was large enough to seat at least four people, and yet we sat close together, soaking up each others' warmth, afraid to let go. One of Sunjae's jackets was now draped over my shoulders. My brain could hardy comprehend anything that was happening. He had found me in the rain and kissed me. I couldn't believe it. It was like a scene straight out of a rom-com movie. My heart pounded against my chest, and the rain and chilly breeze couldn't put out the fire inside me.

Sunjae reached for a towel, his movements unhurried and gentle, as if he were handling something precious. He stepped closer, the warmth of his presence cutting through the chill that clung to my skin. Without a word, he began drying my hair, his touch soft and deliberate. The fabric brushed against my scalp, and I could feel the care behind every motion.

My body froze for a moment, caught off guard by the intimacy of it all. My heart stumbled over its rhythm as I became fixated on him—on the way his eyes held a quiet tenderness, the kind that made it impossible to look away. His damp hair clung to his forehead, and I could see the faint shiver in his frame, but he didn't seem to care. His only focus was on me.

The butterflies in my stomach took flight, their wings fluttering wildly at the realization of how selfless he was. He didn't even think twice about his own discomfort, his own cold. His hands moved with a kind of attentiveness that made my chest tighten, like I'd stumbled into a dream I never wanted to wake up from.

Then he paused. His hands stilled, the towel resting lightly against my head. Slowly, he looked at me, his gaze shifting, as if he'd just realized how close we were—how my eyes hadn't left him for even a second. His expression softened, yet there was a flicker of uncertainty, of awareness that hadn't been there a moment ago.

I felt the heat rising in my cheeks, spreading like wildfire. My breath hitched, and I wondered if he could feel the way my pulse quickened, even though I wasn't sure I could speak. The air between us felt charged, delicate, as if a single word might break whatever spell we'd found ourselves under.

"What's the matter?" he asked softly. His voice rung like the melody of a love song.

"You're so sweet," I breathed out after a few seconds.

His face melted into a smile, showing his adorable dimple and his eyes becoming like crescent moons. My own lips stretched into a smile. All I wanted was to see him happy; No matter who he was with. But now here he was, wrapping his arms around my waist, smiling sweetly at me.

"I cant believe you avoided me for so many days."

"I do feel a bit silly now, thinking back," I giggled out, "But you really gave me a scare. I thought you were going away for good."

"I would have," he confessed, "If it weren't for someone making it impossible for me to go anywhere."

"I didn't realize you were so cheesy."

"So what, you don't like me anymore?" he asked, bringing his face closer to mine.

"I still like you," I answered with a laugh, giving him a short kiss. I watched his face and ears turn red in an instant and I couldn't help but chuckle. He's so cute...

Suddenly, the sound of the front door opening startled the both of us. Before we had any time to process what was happening, Sunjae's dad appeared with a blue cloth bag and an umbrella in his hand. He stood before us, paralyzed in a state of shock. I moved a bit further from Sunjae, trying to increase the distance between us.

"Oh! Eunyoung!" he exclaimed finally, "I see... you both got drenched in the rain! Oh, dear, you must be very cold..." He rattled on.

"I'll get going then!" I got up suddenly, waving an awkward goodbye to both of them.

"Sunjae, I'll- uh, return your jacket! Later..."

Ryu Sunjae's Perspective

I watched as Eunyoung practically bolted out of my house after muttering out an excuse for my dad. Dammit, now I have to explain myself to my dad. Looking at my father's smug smile, I realized he must have put two and two together already.

"I wasn't born yesterday, son," he said, still smiling.

"I know," I gulped.

"I can't say I'm surprised."

"Oh, you're not?"

"Not a bit," he said rather confidently, "You finally got your act together!"

"So," I began, "You're okay with this? With Eunyoung and I-"

"Okay?! Oh, I'm more than okay!" he let out a hearty laugh, "You have my blessing!"

I felt my heart relax and I let out a sigh of relief. I had my father's permission. He was a stubborn man, and it was a huge deal. I just hope Eunyoung's mother is as supportive.

Narrator's Perspective

Eunyoung, her mother and Yumi sat in the living room for dinner while the rain pitter-pattered against the windows. Everyone was eating in silence- as they often did, but tonight, Eunyoung kept smiling to herself every few seconds while still looking down at her plate. Her mom glanced at Yumi, hoping that she would know why Eunyoung was so happy. 

"We gotta get used to this," she said loudly.

Eunyoung looked up at Yumi in confusion, "What?"

"Why is that?" Their mother asked tentatively. 

"You wanna tell her or should I?" Yumi asked Eunyoung.

"Tell her about what?"

"About your boyfriend."

Her mother's eyebrows shot up, "Boyfriend?"

"Oh," Eunyoung realized, "Right. I was going to tell you after things were official... but I guess since Yumi's already spilled the beans... I'll just tell you. I'm dating this guy..."

"Who?"

"Oh, you know," Eunyoung avoided her gaze, looking at the walls behind where her mother was seated, a red tinge appearing on her face, "It's umm... Sunjae. Ryu Sunjae- you know he lives-"

"Oh," her mother exclaimed, pleasantly surprised, "The guy next door? He seemed nice..."

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nana's notes: cute chapter after all the hell i put them thru :P last chapter before my hiatus :( see u in april!

delphi's notes: somebody check my blood sugar this is too sweet-

next chapter: april 1st list of chapters here!

iii. opportunities

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CHAPTER THREE ─ opportunities.

❛ but this is getting good now, he's so tall and handsome as hell ❜

Narrator's Perspective

The final bell pierced the air, a sharp clang that shattered the focused hum of the classroom. A collective sigh rippled through the students, a wave of relief washing over them after a day of lessons, tests, and social navigation. Papers rustled as they're shoved into backpacks, textbooks slammed shut with finality.

A teacher who Eunyoung recognized as the head of the school newspaper approached her as she and Yumi made their way to the gate.

"Eunyoung! I'm so glad I caught you!" she sighed in relief, "There's an article that we need done urgently for next week. It involves interviewing the swimming team regarding the upcoming tournament. I understand you're swarmed in other schoolwork too, but could you cover it this one time? The boy who was supposed to write it is down with chicken pox, and won't be able to complete it."

"Sure Ma'am, it's no hassle," Eunyoung agreed with a smile, her heart swelling up with happiness, "I'll submit it by next week."

"Thank you so much!"

As the teacher left, Yumi stared at Eunyoung with a teasing smile. "I don't remember this happening before."

"This article was given to someone else because I declined it," Eunyoung answered, smiling, "I was never one for sports."

"You're getting used to this era pretty well, I see," the teasing smile was still plastered on Yumi's face.

"I hope you remember that you have piano practice at the music club today," Eunyoung attempted to change the topic.

"I remember it very well," Yumi answered, noticing the shift as well as her sister's flushed face, "Enjoy writing your article," she winked and skipped away.

Eunyoung, a smile playing on her lips, strolled leisurely towards the bus stop. The familiar path triggered a wave of deja vu, a feeling that mirrored her experience earlier that day. It was as if she were walking this very route not for the first time today, but for the hundredth, a memory from fifteen years ago inexplicably resurfacing.

Reaching the bus stop, she was met with the usual chaos - a throng of students jostling for a spot on the overflowing bus. But amidst the sea of uniforms, a single figure caught her eye. There, like a beacon cutting through the crowd, stood Sunjae. His beauty was undeniable - flawless features that seemed sculpted by the gods, and a mess of fluffy hair that cascaded down his forehead. He was a picture of youthful perfection, a vision that both startled and soothed her. 

So, this is the bus he takes... She thought to herself, the fact that she takes the same one slipping her mind completely.

💿

Yumi dragged her feet along the pavement, making her way to the school music club to practice piano. Learning the piano was never something she wanted to do, but continued passively as she loathed the idea of quitting in the middle of learning. She remembers ceasing to practice after law school, which meant she hadn't touched a piano for nearly fifteen years. She couldn't recall her dislike for it, but reckoned that those old emotions would come crashing back to her the second she sat down on her piano stool.

Upon reaching the looming building, she was unable to take any steps inside, but simply gaped at it in silence. It was a place she kept revisiting, every single day, no matter what. Coming to practice consistently was something her younger self had never challenged, but now as she viewed life from a different lens, that had been weathered by adversities, she began to question if there was any meaning in these recurring religious visits.

Drawing up the courage from an unknown source within her, she entered the building with a blank, bored face. Sitting down at the waiting area outside the various practice rooms, she dug out her music sheets from her backpack, attempting at familiarizing herself with them after being parted for dog ages. 

Then suddenly, a cry of agitation diverted her focus to the source of the sound. 

"Yah! Kim Taesung! I can't believe you're late again!" Inhyuk scolded the boy.

Yumi turned her head the other way to find out who he was looking at. Her eyes fell upon a messy-looking boy- seemingly from her school, wearing just a white shirt with no tie and a bright red biker jacket. His hair fell loosely on his face, ruffled by the wind. He had a cat-like face and a cheeky demeanour as he smiled sheepishly at Inhyuk, "Let me go this time, I really got stuck in traffic."

"What bullshit," Inhyuk countered, "It doesn't even take 10 minutes to walk from school to here. Quit dilly-dallying and get your act together."

Taesung scoffed and murmured another apology.

Just then, a strong gust of wind blew through the open door, and the music sheets on which Yumi's grip had loosened while staring at the unknown boy, scattered across the floor. Both Inhyuk and Taesung lunged to grab them in time before they could fly away while Yumi closed the door. Taesung gathered the sheets from the ground and from Inhyuk and handed them to her.

"Here," he said. Yumi looked up at his eyes creased with a smile. All she could do was stare at his face blankly.

Why am I behaving like this?

"Thank you," she mumbled and took the sheets and made a run for the piano room.

"How odd..." Taesung muttered under his breath.

💿

"So, what, you just stared at his face?" Eunyoung questioned after Yumi narrated the events of that day.

"I said thank you after," Yumi corrected, unsure of what to feel.

"How polite," Eunyoung said thoughtfully, "What about Inhyuk, did you talk to him?"

"What do you think?" Yumi retorted, "I need a reason to talk to him."

"I guess," she answered, "What about the other guy? You think he knows Sunjae?"

"I don't know," Yumi confessed, "Guess I'll have to find out."

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nayoung's notes: taesung cat agenda is going to continue throughout this book btw. hope you enjoyed reading this! 

delphi's notes: let's go taesung debut! the best thing is that yumi just freezes when she sees him lmfao. she's so real for that.

@the-one-and-only-delphi

next chapter: saturday! (out now) list of chapters here!

announcement !!

dear readers of TOWARDS YOU,

firstly, i wanted to say thank you to all those who have been reading TOWARDS YOU <3 your support means the world to me, and i am beyond grateful for all the likes and reblogs. i never imagined i would write, let alone publish fifty chapters of a fanfic.

i have a really important exam coming up in march 2025 (this year) that i need to prepare for so i have decided to go on a hiatus till my exam ends in april. i originally planned to keep writing, but it turns out that i'm out of pre-written chapters and i don't think i will be able to keep up with the current posting schedule. i will definitely, 100% be back in april with new chapters, and till then i ask for your patience (although i'm not really sure if anyone cares enough to wait lol) chapter fifty two will be up today!

in the meanwhile i will keep writing as and when i can so i can go back to posting regularly when my exam is over :)

xlii. piercing through my soul

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CHAPTER FORTY-TWO ─ piercing through my soul.

❛ i wanna hold you just for a while

and die with a smile ❜

Choi Eunyoung's Perspective

The chatter and buzz in the interview room rekindled after the cameraman's "Cut!" People switching off all the extra studio lights, packing up their things and chatting with each other. The tense atmosphere that previously hung over the room while the filming was ongoing was replaced with a new friendliness and lightheartedness. Words of encouragement and several people saying "Good job!" seemed to raise everyone's spirits. 

I heaved a quiet sigh the moment the cameras were out. During the interview, I felt as if I had been holding my breath the whole time. Never in my career of doing interviews for famous, influential personalities had I ever felt so nervous. At the same time, I knew I was obviously holding myself back. Every cell in my body wanted to drop all formalities and throw my arms around him and tell him how glad I was to see him. 

His experience writing 'Sonaki' was something that pricked me from inside. His words constantly echoed inside my mind. He met her on a rainy day. It was dangerously similar to how I met Sunjae. A part of me- the hopeful part, wanted to believe desperately that it was me. Despite wanting to hold onto the hope, an anxious and worried voice inside me told me not to get excited over it. It was too good to be true. Him writing a poetic masterpiece about his first love who was none other than me? It sounded impossible. I was also afraid. Afraid of being wrong after thinking it was about me. At the end of the day, I'm nothing more than his fan. And to him, all he's going to remember me is as a distant memory from his teenage years.

I gave in to all my temptations as I stole a glance at Sunjae, sitting across from me rummaging through his bag and talking about something or the other with his manager. I nearly smiled seeing his relaxed posture and radiant glow. Something about him had changed in the best way possible. He looked happy, and that was enough for my heart to be content. For a split second, our eyes met and I tore away forcefully and unnaturally, probably making a fool out of myself. It was too much. Seeing him again uprooted so many repressed feelings.

Soon, he was telling his manager to go on without him and saying that he would be out soon. Watching his manager leave the room, I found myself thinking- Am I really going to be here alone with him? It hadn't even been that long since I'd last seen him, yet my heart pounded in my ears like a thousand drums.

"Hey," he began once he was sure everyone was gone. I nearly jumped out of my skin hearing his voice, "It's been a while, huh? How've you been?"

"Hi," I answered with a small smile. So he remembers me... "Yeah, it's been ages. I've been good. How 'bout you? How's everything?"

"Good, you know. Life's full of surprises," he answered, smiling.

"That's nice to know; You...look... good- like you've been well," I stuttered like an idiot, "This is awkward, isn't it?"

"Yeah," he agreed, sounding disappointed, "It's been too long, I guess."

"Yeah."

An uncomfortable silence filled the air as we both looked here and there, thinking hard about what to say next. It seemed like both of us had a hundred thoughts racing through our minds, but no words nor courage to express them.

"You don't have any like... illness or anything lately, do you?" I asked slowly, afraid of the answer.

"No, not at all," he answered, sounding confused.

"I read some of the articles you wrote," he said after a few more moments of silence.

"About Eclipse?" I asked, sounding a bit too eager.

"Yeah," he replied, fidgeting with his clothes, "And other things. Your writing's as good as ever."

"Thanks," I cracked a real smile, "Should we go? Your manager must be waiting."

"Yeah."

We made our way through the door and into the elevator. I had never realized that our building elevator had no mirror. Or music. I stared at the ground, soaking in all the silence between us. The awkwardness sent a chill down my spine. I wanted to do something. I wanted to tell him that I missed him. But that would make things even more awkward and I would die of embarrassment.

Gosh, were elevator rides here always so insufferable?

The elevator finally stopped at the ground floor after what felt like a million years, and we exited the building, still completely quiet. Standing on the pavement looking onto the highway, I looked up at Sunjae, who was already looking. My face felt hot as I forgot what I was about to say.

"So this is it?" he said with a hint of sadness in his voice.

"We should keep in touch this time," I blurted out too quickly. Why was I so jittery? "You can get my number from your manager."

"Yeah, let's do that," he said with a smile, finally showing his beautiful dimples. I returned his smile, feeling my heart swell up at the very sight of a happy Sunjae.

"My manager's car is over there across the street," he said, looking at the black car parked on the other side of the road, "I'll see you?"

"You will," I said with conviction, the smile never leaving my face.

I watched as the made his way across the zebra crossing, going further away, but in that moment, he felt the closest that evening. The soft glow of the streetlamp and the dim starlight seemed to give me a glimmer of hope. That this was the beginning of something new. Something special. Then, as if to throw water over all my happiness, I loud crashing sounded, like a huge truck suddenly stopping. My eyes went wide as my body seemed to freeze from shock. I felt my blood go cold.

Time seemed to splinter into fragments, each one more agonizing than the last, as I watched the massive, green truck barrel forward, unstoppable. There was a horrid screeching of brakes, but it was too late—the impact was thunderous, like the world cracking open right before my eyes. Sunjae's body collided with the force of the vehicle, a sickening blur of motion as he was thrown to the ground, his form limp and unmoving.

A piercing cry escaped my throat, one I barely recognized as my own. My chest constricted, an unbearable ache tearing through me as if the impact had shattered not only him but every part of me, too. For a brief, surreal moment, I couldn't move; I was paralyzed, bound by the horror of what I'd just witnessed, by the helplessness sinking like iron into my bones.

I stumbled forward, heart hammering wildly, tears blurring my vision as I rushed toward him. "Sunjae!" I cried, my voice trembling, desperate. My knees hit the ground beside him, the unforgiving pavement scraping through the fabric of my jeans, but I barely registered the sting. All I could see was his stillness, his face pale and serene in a way that frightened me more than any amount of pain ever could.

A sob broke free, raw and guttural, as I reached for his hand, cold and heavy in mine. Memories flooded my mind—his laughter, his warmth, the look in his eyes when he talked about the future, a future I suddenly couldn't see. It was slipping from me, unraveling like sand through my fingers, and I was powerless to stop it. The sight of him lying there, broken, filled me with a heartbreak so deep I felt hollowed out from within. I could feel my heart shattering, piece by piece, each shard lodging painfully within me.

"Please...please, Sunjae," I whispered, voice breaking as I clutched his hand, unable to stop my tears. The world had collapsed around us, reduced to this one horrible moment, to the unbearable thought of losing him.

☾⋆｡𖦹 °✩⋆｡° ✮

nana's notes: sunjae's death breaks me in every timeline.

delphi's notes: here we go again.

next chapter: friday (out now!) list of chapters here!

xxviii. the aftermath

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CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT ─ the aftermath.

❛ once the flight had flown, with the wilt of the rose ❜

Choi Yumi's Perspective

The surroundings seemed familiar. My mind was clouded with confusion, I couldn't understand what had happened. Moments ago, I remember being on my way home on Taesung's motorcycle, and then we...

"Yumi?" called out Eunyoung's voice which seemed to reflect my puzzled state. That's when I realized where we were. It was our shared apartment in Seoul and we were back to the present. I turned to look at her with furrowed brows, "Check the date quickly!"

She reached for her phone, and the screen displayed 00:02, 1st January, 2023 as the time and date, "What's going on?" she whispered, sounding lost, "This... this means we really time travelled."

"Yeah," I breathed. We had really gone back to the past, to 2008, and now we were back. I stood up to look at the CD player. It displayed 2:00 now instead of 3:00, "What does this mean?" Before I could sit back down, I caught a glimpse of my face in Eunyoung's vanity above her desk. A huge scar on the right side of my face, stretching from my cheek down to my chin. I ran my fingers over it, but there was no odd texture, "W...What's this thing on my face?" I whispered in horror.

I don't quite remember what happened...

❪ flashback ❫

I couldn't make any sense of anything. Where was I? How did I end up there? I had no clue. I could hear loud chattering, someone screaming, the sound of cars passing by in the distance. Then a blaring siren and someone taking me away. What happened after that? I had blacked out completely.

When I opened my eyes all I could see was a white ceiling above me and then the scent of antiseptic hit my nose. Soon, I realized that I was lying down, and my eyes scanned my surroundings. I was wearing a white robe- or was it like a nightgown? I don't have any nightgowns. There were white curtains around the bed I was laying on and that's when the realization hit me like a ton of bricks. I was in a hospital.

The needle piercing through my hand sent a sharp, shooting pain up my arm as I noticed it was there, making me wince. There was a huge white bump I could see on the right side of my face- bandages.

The rest of my memories were in a blur. I could still hear people's voices in the back of my mind.

My mom's voice, screaming, "KIM TAESUNG YOU FUCKING BASTARD!"

Eunyoung's panicked voice and sobs, "Yumi, I'm so sorry..."

My own voice, yelling, "Look what you've done to me! This! This thing on my face is thanks to you! I'm going to have to live with this all my life. So, I'm sorry if the scar on your shoulder is an eyesore. Because that's too fucking bad."

❪ end of flashback ❫

"Don't you remember?" asked Eunyoung after a long pause, "Taesung was dropping you home... and... and then you..." her voice sounded choked and she closed her mouth, realizing it was too painful to remember.

"I think I remember," I said, spacing out. My hand reached to touch the scar again.

"You swore you hated him," added Eunyoung, "You guys had a huge fight. Screaming in the hospital and everything."

"It must have been quite the scene," I bit my lip, recalling the embarrassing memory.

"Yeah," she said. We both sat in the painful silence that hung in the air. The snow pattered against the window, as if it were knocking, asking to be let in.

"I'm sorry," I told her gently, "I'm sorry for all the horrible things I said to you."

"I'm sorry too," she said, reaching for my hand, "It wasn't my place."

"No, it was! It absolutely was!" I cried as the strength returned in my voice, "You're my family and you had the right to be worried. And you were right! He was trouble! And and... and he-"

"Shhh, it's fine," she said, noticing how my voice shook as I spoke, squeezing my hand, "It's over now. It's all forgiven."

Her eyes moved to her phone screen, showing the news article that Eclipse's Ryu Sunjae had passed away. Her eyes widened, then became moist, "It's... I couldn't do anything..."

I could do nothing but gaze painfully at her state, "Look at the display on the Cd player. I'm guessing it means we have two more chances. Two more chances to set things right."

Narrator's Perspective

Waking up and going to work the next morning seemed like too big of a task for me. From the moment the harsh sunlight streaming through the window entered my room, to the shower, it was as if the melody of sonaki rang in my head as tears streamed uncontrollably down my face. It was completely unlike me- I had never felt so pathetic and depressed in my 34 years of living, and I was feeling it now- all at once.

"Adulting is so hard," I grumbled under my breath as I left the house, wearing black because I was grieving. It had barely been a day since I had returned, but my heart ached with desperation and longing. I already missed my daily bus rides with Sunjae, our carefree, almost meaningless conversations. His smiling face and eyes that seemed to me dripping with honey occupied my mind the whole car ride.

"Teenage life was so easy," I muttered to myself as I parked my car and made my way up the elevator.

The moment I opened the door, I saw a sea of people- employees, all clad in black from head to toe. For a moment, I felt a sense of pride. I had made this happen; a team of people who actually gave a damn about journalistic integrity and not just nosy busybodies who wanted to pry into the lives of the rich and elite. A smile almost surfaced on my face when I thought about my slightly dramatic rise to power as I overthrew the previous CEO of The Seoul Daily.

"Ms. Choi," someone called out to me. A familiar face appeared before me as we bowed and exchanged greetings, "Kang Seoyoon, the head of the entertainment department released the article regarding Singer Ryu Sunjae's death because she lives near the hospital he was taken to. Would you like us to start research on the cause?"

The words felt like icicles against my skin- they were too official, so cold that it almost sent a shiver down my spine. I cleared my throat, trying to pull myself together; I then said to her, mustering up all the professionalism in my voice, "Yes, please get started. Tell Seoyoon that it was extremely prompt of her to write the article even though it was after work hours. Thanks."

With a brief nod and bow, she ran off. "You're all doing a really great job!" I cried out to all the hardworking people sitting withing earshot, plastering on my best fake smile, "Keep up the good work and report to me after the front page placements are done."

The news that I heard a while later felt as if someone ran a knife through my heart. Sunjae's cause of death- it was suicide.

☾⋆｡𖦹 °✩⋆｡° ✮

nana's notes: i guess listening to sad kdrama osts makes me work faster 🤧😭

delphi's notes: sunjae needs to get his death pass revoked frfr :(

next chapter: friday (out now!) list of chapters here!

xxv. between notes and secrets

☾⋆｡𖦹 °✩⋆｡° ✮

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE ─ between notes and secrets.

❛ and i feel so high school

every time i look at you ❜

Choi Yumi's Perspective

The sunlight peered into my room through the translucent curtains hanging over my window. The light cast itself on every surface- my desk, the wooden floor littered with various teenage junk and my spinning chair. Even my bed, which was in an obscure corner of my room couldn't avoid the stingy hot rays of the sun. I lay on my bed like a dead starfish abandoned on the sea shore, staring blankly at the ceiling above, deep in thought.

It's been a couple of weeks since I started learning guitar from Taesung. No matter how hard I tried to be nonchalant about it- I couldn't help myself. He was on my mind, all right, consuming my thoughts day and night. Here I was, rotting in my bedroom on a perfectly pleasant summer Sunday afternoon, thinking about a boy who probably never had a comprehensible thought in his life. Scenes played in my mind like flashbacks in a movie. His gentle tone explained things to me; How our hands would brush ever so often and my stupid heart would start racing like a mad horse.

I wanted to believe so desperately that I was the only one in the world who knew this side of him. Sensitive, kind, gentle- vulnerable. His tough-guy act was all just a pretence. I could see a new part of him now that I had spent so much time with him. His eyes showed a glint as he spoke about music- passion. There was something else about him that he wasn't ready to tell me. The melancholy in his voice whenever the subject of family came up- neglect.

I felt pathetic thinking this to myself, but I wanted to know. Curiosity pierced through my heart, a desire to know him better. What kept him up at night? What makes him smile? Or cry? I wanted to know it all.

I lazily moved to my desk, slouching in my chair as I propelled myself towards the table with my legs. I gazed at the music sheet lying on the table. This music sheet wasn't an ordinary one. It was for the song Taesung was teaching me on the guitar. My fingers played with the corners of the paper, mindlessly folding it. My other hand reached for my pencil as I began to scribble on a different scrap of paper.

The long-hidden time, calls us back again.

💿

Choi Eunyoung's Perspective

"Have you ever felt like someone is keeping something from you?" I asked Sunjae as we walked back home from the bus stop through the warm Monday afternoon.

"The feeling of being lied to?" he asked.

"No," I replied, "Like they're withholding information on purpose."

"I don't know," he mumbled, scratching the back of his neck that glistened with sweat, "Is something on your mind?"

"It's probably nothing," I shrugged, looking up at him to smile reassuringly, "Yumi had been coming home late these days. She said there are extra lessons at the music club, but I have a feeling that isn't the whole story."

He smiled back at me, flashing his dimples. My face must have turned the colour of a fresh tomato because I could feel the heat rising. I tried to play it cool, but it was no use. 

I knew it was silly. But there was something about him that just drew me in. Maybe it was his kind eyes that sparkled in the sunlight, or his laugh that not once failed to bring a smile to my face, or it was just the way he made me feel. Whatever it was, I couldn't deny it. I had a stupid, hopeless crush on him.

"It feels amazing to take off my shoulder brace," he sighed as we turned a corner.

"Does it still hurt?"

He shook his head, "The doctor said that it won't get triggered unless I engage in strenuous physical exercise."

"I'm glad you're better now."

A comfortable silence filled the air, our smiles never leaving our faces as we journeyed home. I don't know when I'll be going back to my time, or how much time I had left. In that moment, none of it mattered. All that was important was the soft melody of "Sonaki" in my mind and Sunjae's company which was as warm as the summer breeze flowing through my hair.

💿

I stared blankly at my flip-phone screen displaying a message from an unknown sender.

Hello Eunyoung. 

It's your dad.

My heart raced, threatening to burst out of my chest. I felt my breath become shaky and my hand reached up to my heart in attempt to calm myself. There were a million thoughts and questions running through my mind since the moment I saw the message. What did he want? How did he find my number? But one question brought my spirits crashing down to rock bottom. Where had he been my whole life?

Everything seemed to come back to me. Memories of me as a baby, tiny and vulnerable, desperate to be loved. Now I remember everything I did to try and get my dad to look at me longer than a fraction of a second. I once even tore his favourite pair of shoes to catch his attention. That seemed to make things worse. I thought he hated me. I never once thought he was capable of love. The way he screamed at my mom...

I covered my ears in agony- I could hear the scene replay in my head.

Another message flashed on the screen.

Let me make things right. Can we meet up somewhere?

"Eunyoung?" My mother's voice fell upon my ears. In shock, I spinned in my chair to look at her beady eyes staring down at me.

"M-mom..." My voice stuttered and stammered as I felt a lump in my throat, "D-did you..."

I want to cry.

"Listen, Eunyoung," she began, her voice cold and stiff, "I know this isn't your fault, but under no circumstances will you agree to this. Do you understand? I hope I've made myself clear."

"Yes, mummy," I said, faking a smile, trying to blink away my tears. A warm smile appeared on her face as she pulled me in for a hug, "You're all the family I need." I said to her, biting my lip, trying desperately to hold back the urge to cry my eyes out.

☾⋆｡𖦹 °✩⋆｡° ✮

nana's notes: i'm so proud of that header 🥹 also eunyoung is so real for that last line.

delphi's notes: the way she calls her mom mummy ;(

next chapter: saturday (out now!) list of chapters here!

xl. whispers from the past

☾⋆｡𖦹 °✩⋆｡° ✮

CHAPTER FORTY ─ whispers from the past.

❛ this is me praying that this was the very first page, not where the storyline ends ❜

Choi Yumi's Perspective

"I need a lawyer."

I stayed silent for a good minute, trying to register the words. It wasn't about the words, even. The voice sounded far too familiar, making my heart drop. Gentle, with a hint of mischief. It was undeniable. The person on the other line was Kim Taesung.

"Hello? Are you there?"

"Y-yes," I stuttered, feeling goosebumps crawl up my arm at his voice.

"Oh, sorry, how rude of me. It's Taesung. Do you remember me?" He spoke the last sentence slowly, and the doubt in his voice was evident.

"Yes," I said quietly, wondering if he had even heard me. It was all so unbelievable. For a third time, fate had brought me back to Kim Taesung, "What do you need a lawyer for? Are you in trouble?"

"Look at you, already assuming the worst of me. You haven't changed one bit, Choi Yumi. Even after fifteen years."

The way he said my name sent chills down my spine. I felt like I was slowly losing touch with reality the longer I spoke to him. Suddenly, I was a teenage girl again. "Just tell me what you need."

"You must of heard the name Kim Youngsoo."

"Yeah," I frowned, wondering what that serial kidnapper had anything to do with any of this.

"Well they've kept me in custody 'cause they think I'm his alibi."

The moment his words fell on my ears, I almost felt my heart stop. Confusion clouded my mind as my breath became suddenly erratic. I placed a hand on my chest, feeling the rapid thumping of my heart against my ribs, threatening to break out. Then, as if to disregard my shock, I heard someone yell "Time's out!" and a beep as the call disconnected, leaving me shaking in my seat, eyes wide.

Narrator's Perspective

"I really want to say 'I told you so,'" Eunyoung said after hearing about the mysterious and cryptic phone call Yumi got from Taesung, "But I'll hold back for your sake. I knew he was bad news, but I never thought he'd actually end up in jail."

"He's not in jail," Yumi corrected her quickly, "They've kept him in custody, so he's just a suspect-"

"Yeah, but imagine what he must have done to make him a suspect for a mass kidnapping case," Eunyoung pointed out.

"This is too much to process," Yumi sighed, running her hand through her hair, "Please tell me something to distract me before I lose my mind completely."

"Sunjae's alive," Eunyoung blurted out the first thought that popped up in her head. Yumi's eyes were full of shock as she suddenly sat up straight.

"Wow, that worked."

"I could barely believe it when I heard it," she continued, "I thought I was dreaming."

"I don't understand how you did it," Yumi asked, looking eagerly at Eunyoung, expecting an answer.

"It sounds really stupid if I say it out loud," Eunyoung warned, "But one day, I was just sitting and thinking about how miserable Sunjae must feel-"

"As one does," Yumi sneered.

"Shut up," Eunyoung said, her lips stretching into an involuntary smile, "I had quite a stupid idea, but I started writing encouraging messages for him and tossed them into his house."

Yumi blinked her eyes rapidly, frowning, "That sounds ridiculously simple."

"Exactly," said Eunyoung, "But he must have really needed to hear something like that."

"You always have been good with words," Yumi pointed out, "You really did it, Eunyoung, you saved him."

"I know," she whispered dreamily.

Eunyoung took a long look at Yumi's face. It was the very essence of the word 'misery.' She looked just about ready to fling herself off a building. She reached for Yumi's hand.

"It's going to be fine," she assured Yumi.

"I'm scared," Yumi said, fixing her gaze on the ground, "Scared that it might be true."

Choi Eunyoung's Perspective

Sitting in the interview room of my office, it felt as if I was glued to my chair. The temperature felt colder than ever before while I sat motionless, clutching the interview script tightly. An unfamiliar anxiety had settled in me when I realized it was my first time seeing Sunjae in 2023. Doubt clouded my mind and I began wondering whether I had it in me to keep things professional. All of a sudden, nostalgia seemed to engulf me as I reminisced on my very first interview with the Jagam High Swim team. My nervousness, self-doubt and jitters were exactly the same.

I watched the door open, through which Sunjae entered. I definitely stared at him for longer than I should have, but somehow, I couldn't bring myself to pull away. He looked completely different from the 19-year-old schoolboy I was used to seeing on the bus every day. Dressed in brown trousers and a black woolen turtleneck, he looked like the personification of perfection. This formal, mature attire was something that was hard for to adjust to, but a part of me was just glad that the liveliness had returned to his beady, hypnotizing eyes.

I stood up from my seat an bowed at him and his staff that followed close behind him. Our eyes met briefly, and in that fleeting moment his blank gaze made me wonder if he even remembered me. I wouldn't be surprised if he didn't, but it would be a lie to say it wouldn't bother me. For a few moments, everyone scurried around, setting up their stuff and settling down before the filming began.

I took a deep breath before beginning, "Hello and welcome! It's an honor to have you here today."

"Likewise, I'm glad to be here," he replied, flashing a kind smile.

"Eclipse is soon going to release their fifth studio album, so how do you feel about that?"

"Well, not too long ago, we had our first concert in five years, which is when we announced that an album would be released. It was a really thrilling and exciting moment for me, and I think my members would agree. We also had doubts as to how it would be received by everyone, but what got us through it is our faith in the fans."

"Eclipse's connection with their fans is truly something to appreciate, and they're always grateful for your hard work. They're eagerly looking forward to listening to the songs listed, particularly 'Sonaki,' where you are the songwriter. Could you tell us something about the song?"

At this point, he was grinning from ear to ear and I had to really control my smile that would have surfaced otherwise. He began, "Sonaki is actually a song that I wrote a long time ago. I wasn't too sure as to whether it would ever be released, but what can I say? It's a song that's very personal to me as it brings back memories from my high school years. Even now, while 'm preparing to perform it for my fans, it's as if I'm 19 years old again, writing about my first love."

☾⋆｡𖦹 °✩⋆｡° ✮

nana's notes: it's so surreal that we've hit forty chapters omg. never thought this would be possible. so grateful for everyone who has been reading this fic <3

delphi's notes: YAYYY FORTY CHAPTERS! tysm everyone <3 yumi defending taesung is the funniest thing ever like girl you're DOWN BAD.

next chapter: friday (out now!) list of chapters here!

pretty bitches love me, and ugly hoes hate me !!