Imaboringtwat - Idk What To Put Here

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Hey kid you want a job?

Great get online and go to a job board. Indeed, Linkedin whatever. Now you're gonna search for a role that's in your city, fits your qualifications, and doesn't seem like a bad time.

See that easy apply button? Don't hit it they just throw those in the trash. Now you're gonna want to go to the company's website and check their careers page.

Oh? That job doesn't exist anymore. Cool go back to the job board and find another one.

Great you found another job, you're on the company's career page and the job exists!! So you're going to need to make an account on the career page website. They're using Workday, the same site as the last job you applied for? Who cares? You need to make another account for THIS job's workday page.

Now you're going to upload your resume. That'll autopopulate about 15 boxes with everything on your resume, except formatted wrong and with tons of errors. So just go through and painstakingly check the dates on all of that and rewrite everything you already laid out in an aesthetically pleasing format on your resume.

Ok time for the cover letter, explain why this specific job and company are deeply important to you. You love their mission statement and wouldn't even laugh if their ceo was gunned down in the street. You'll really want to reiterate the things you just spent the last 20 minutes filling out on the resume section

(Remember to include language from the job description, people who work in HR are lower than dogs and they need patterns or they get confused.) Write about a page, but hey don't sound too desperate or robotic this is where they judge your character!

Maybe add your portfolio site at the end here, who knows if that helps no one has ever clicked mine haha.

Anywayyy time to hit apply! Congrats! You'll see that confirmation email come in and you should be getting the rejection letter in about 2 weeks. Unfortunately your resume didn't have the right buzzwords and the AI auto rejected you :(

Time to start again and try not to kill yourself!

If your life is horrible and you need a new source of meaning and direction.... Do NOT find religion. Learn to identify plants.

Cinematic parallels

Began reading The Crow Road last night, partly because of Good Omens s2 and partly because it just sounded interesting

Obviously, it's the book that Crowley gave Muriel S2 Ep6, everyone knows that by now

It's also one of the books Gabriel picks up and reads, hence "it was the day my grandmother exploded" - which, killer hook btw

It's rather good so far. Even did some digging, obviously finding out about what "the crow road" is and how it links to Good Omens with the theme of the afterlife

Either way I'll keep you all updated as I read along, it's a huge book

vivian wilson, el*n m*sk’s trans daughter, is actually the funniest fucking person on the planet, I’m obsessed with her