A Rising Fever

A Rising Fever

It's a common fear, to ruminate over the idea of falling ill to some incurable disease and watching as your body succumbs to the sheer weight of said symptoms. It rises up from the pit of your stomach and burns the back of your throat like vomit the longer you think about it. Web MD’s symptom checker, or what some like to playfully call “Doctor Google” is a temptation that's difficult to not indulge in. I know– we've all fallen for it, at one time or another. Sometimes I'll sit there, reading rare conditions, one after another and feeling my anxiety heighten more and more until it hits a climax. Things like skin necrosis, or heart failure, or waterborne illnesses- it can happen to anyone, at any time. Of course there’s factors that can put you at higher risk, but the fact that you can never be sure is enough to keep you up all night. 

The next thing I know, I've gone and sanitized my whole house in fear of germs. 

Hypochondriasis is classified as a simple anxiety disorder born from paranoia, but how many times have people been written off as being hypochondriacs when they actually were ill? There is a high probability that the percentage is substantial... Enough for it to be concerning, at least. 

What is it that really stokes the flames of your mounting dread when it comes to your immune system coming under attack? Is it the ever present fear of death that we're always running from one day at a time? Or is it the concern that your body will never recover, forever changed by this virus that has invaded your very soul?

More Posts from Imitative-magpie and Others

2 months ago

your blog is so fascinating. i love reading what you have to say.

Thank you, I'm both glad and relieved that my blog has brought some of you enjoyment throughout my time online, and once I find the source I'm looking for, I would like to switch gears and have you all be the focus of my blog- whether that means I become a kincall blog or maybe regularly write questions for others to answer with their experiences? I feel deeply inspired by the memories so many of you have shared and I wish to make this your space as much as it is mine, so if anyone has suggestions of what they would like to see more of on this blog, feel free to let me know


Tags
1 week ago

Two Sentence Horror Story:

You send an ask to a beloved mutual, only to look back at the google doc that you copied and pasted from. There's a grammatical error.


Tags
2 months ago

good timezone, jules! i Peeked at your updated possible sources list & i have been inspired to suggest some more :)

if you watched hazbin hotel, you should watch its sister show helluva boss (very much free to watch entirely on youtube). if you watched the hot trash show that is diabolik lovers (i say this with love. i've been a fan of dialovers since im 14 <3), you should try the equally hot garbage that is vampire knight (also with love, i have been a bigger fan since im also 14)

unrelated to The List, i suggest you take a peek at neon genesis evangelion (both the original anime + end of evangelion [very important!] & the 4 rebuild movies) because it's psychological disasters personified & tbh i feel like you'd like it, & on a similar vein, land of the lustrous/houseki no kuni (SPECIFICALLY the manga, which you can find for free online, because that's where all the shit happens). evangelion is my favorite anime & hnk is my favorite manga actually :) they're both very madoka magica in the sense that it starts out cheery & suddenly everything that could possibly go wrong goes wrong. & even if you dont get any kin feels from them i think you'd really enjoy the plot!

Thank you so much for the recommendations, I'll look into both the source adjacent ones and the ones for general enjoyment alike. I'm glad to hear from you again, as always


Tags
2 months ago

🔪🔪🔪

-- steph

Always fashionably late to the party, huh Stephanie? I'll have you know I'm settling in for a long night of rewatching your source material to decompress tonight. Also hey-- ow


Tags
3 months ago

hey nuhuh "overreacting" is valid as hell and you should do whatever you like on your blog. i love seein your stuff mate, i just hope you feel better soon :(

Thank you, I appreciate your concern. It means a lot to hear that even with my mood being so turbulent, that you'll still stay.

I'm not sure what this feeling is exactly, people have made some suggestions.. What I do know is that this process I've started with asking about others' memories, I've become dependent on it. Maybe it's just because I feel so discontent with my own life, with the fact that after all this time, I'm still not entirely sure where I'm from.

Nevertheless, I want to thank you as well as everyone who has taken the time to help me with this journey. It's remarkable the amount of sources I've been recommended and viewed in such a short time, and regardless of where I end up- I'll remember and hold all of your memories close to my heart.


Tags
4 months ago

Recovery has been a bit difficult. I worry that with each time that my body breaks down and develops more issues, it becomes harder for people to overlook and I become more difficult to love- which I know of course when I write it down that it's a terribly stupid, and ableist thought.

I would never think such things about someone else in my position, but when I haven't put words to that gut feeling and it only has to be directed inwards I worry about it on a near visceral level. It keeps me awake at night. Nobody could love what I've gone and become. This is too much for anybody. I'm even too much maintenance for myself


Tags
5 months ago

Hello,

I hope my message finds you well 🌸

I am Momen Al Mdhoun, a graphic designer and a father to 2 adorable kids, I need your help to get my voice heard and amplified by sharing my family's campaign?

Your help may save us from the genocide and famine 💔

Please reblog my post and donate if you can 🙏🏻

My family's campagin 👇🏻👇🏻

https://gofund.me/1be90748

✅Vetted by @gazavetters , my number verified on the list is ( #291 )✅

Thank you 🌸 🌸

Momen Al Mdhoun's donation page is available on GoFundMe.com

3 months ago

hi jules !!! i hope youre doing okay <3

i was just thinking about your Kin Search and a source or two popped into my head that felt like they could possibly be a match for you!! so if you’re still looking for sources to check out, i would Definitely recommend EverymanHYBRID + TribeTwelve and Marble Hornets!! I tried to check to see if these were mentioned on your blog somewhere to see if youve looked into them, but im at work so im a bit limited in my research abilities rn :’) theyre all actually YouTube ARG series!! theyre a bit funky and hard to follow tbh, so i have some really great analysis/explanation videos saved on hand if youd like to see those!!! feel free to message me if you wanna discuss them a bit <3

Thank you so much for reaching out to me. In truth, I’ve actually been looking into this source recently so it is a funny coincidence that you happened to send the ask at this moment. I appreciate it though, Everyman HYBRID definitely holds a special place in my heart, and the themes of a repeating timeline or script, along with the heavy themes of being watched in these sources stood out to me significantly. There are a few sources I have not yet added to my list yet because they have either been suggested since the date I posted, or I have not yet viewed and/or revised notes on said sources, so I am currently in the middle of a second viewing of Everyman HYBRID and Marble Hornets. I would absolutely love to discuss the series more in depth with you, at your earliest convenience, of course.


Tags
Loading...
End of content
No more pages to load
  • apocalypticautumn
    apocalypticautumn liked this · 5 months ago
  • wildernezz
    wildernezz liked this · 5 months ago
  • fallen--starlight
    fallen--starlight liked this · 5 months ago
  • imitative-magpie
    imitative-magpie reblogged this · 5 months ago

_I Want to Know Your Phobia_ Name:Jules Age:24

148 posts

Explore Tumblr Blog
Search Through Tumblr Tags