PSA

Yeah I have a suggestion for you

Are you a paranoid schitsophrenic?

Here's a word of advice, Anon. At least learn how to spell 'Schizophrenic' before you send a hate post. My schedule is very busy so I hardly have the time to respond to mindless ramblings of the illiterate.

Nooo seriously I agree with the one anon who suggested tma! Like the way you talk is giving serious Jon Sim vibes you got to check out the podcast, stat❤️❤️❤️

I take it you feel strongly on this matter? I'll bump the source material up in my list of stuff to look into just for you, anon.

As a treat.

The Complete List Of Kinsidering Sources

Thanks to the help of so many of you both here on Tumblr, and on various discord servers, I was able to lay a lot of groundwork into discovering my identity. I would like to share a list of sources I have been given and am currently looking into in order to widen my sample size regarding memories as a whole. Here is where I currently am in this process;

*The Dream SMP (Completed)

*Mouth Washing (Even Though I Have Mostly Ruled That Out) ((Completed.. obviously))

*Homestuck (Not Really Completed But I Feel I've Seen Enough)

*A Song of Ice and Fire (Completed and Revised)

*Maximum Ride Series (Completed and Revised)

*Final Destination (Completed and Revised)

*Madoka Magica (Completed)

*Supernatural (Completed and Revised, Possible Match)

*Zero Escape Series (Completed)

*The Magnus Archives 

*SCP and Related Works (Completed and Revised, Possible Match)

*Death Note (Completed and Revised, Possible Match)

*Arcane (Completed and Revised)

*The Magicians 

*Ave Mujica

*The Mandela Catalogue (Completed, Possible Match)

*Devilman Crybaby 

*American Horror Story (Completed and Revised)

*The Omen (Completed and Revised, Possible Match)

If anyone from these sources would like to impart any insight or simply share any memories that have been weighing on them..

Well, you know I'll always be listening.

Hey there, I'm just tossing an idea out. But your memory-vibes personally remind me of the Zero Escape series. Spoilers incoming of course, but I know you don't mind: In the first one, a major character creates situations that do indeed cause a lot of suffering for people she deeply cares about in order to create a timeline where she survives. In the second game, she is revealed to have done something similar, but this time in order to try and save the world (more or less?) but in doing so, damns countless iterations of people she cares about, and herself, to doomed timelines. It's rather bleak. The third game takes place between the first two chronologically, but I have not personally played it.

So, I'm sort of suggesting Akane Kurashiki, but other characters from the series like Sigma, Phi, and Aoi might be worth looking into. Sorry if someone's already brought this game series up- feel free to ignore this if so!

This ... Actually explains a lot of the things I've been feeling as of late. Really-- I can't thank you enough for reaching out, I'll have to look a bit more into the source material, of course. And I'm also sorry for the late reply. I've been in the hospital the last 11 days, and I've just gotten home. (I'm planning to explain everything that happened there more in depth because I had some revelations but I didn't want to be rude and not answer)

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helloooo jules! it is i coming to throw another idea into the pit, or more correctly, re-casting it out there. i have been pondering intensely over all kinds of media i know, trying to find anything that feels right with your Descriptions. then i thought to myself it would be somewhat amusing, in a way, if you turned out to be oc kin. then i thought of it some more. of course, i know that we've talked about me being oc kin before, but i figured bringing it up again wouldn't hurt. after all, not much to lose from it!

i think perhaps the issue of oc kin can seem a bit daunting, because you're essentially stumbling around in the dark with no reference to any specific media to guide you. the way i have dealt with this over the past 7 years of oc kin happenstances is no more & no less than essentially... envisioning a variety of Things that may or may not fit, & then keep/discard depending on what feels right (this is why i have so many kin mems of this kin, outside of the fact that obviously i know things about this Media since I Created it. there is actually a distinction, which i can attempt to describe in further detail if you need it). in crude terms, the process is more or less stumbling around in the dark & throwing random things at a wall to see what sticks. i would assume other oc kins may have Different experiences but i have never met another oc kin, or at least not one to my particular flavor of it, so i can only talk for myself.

i am realizing that this is getting quite Long so i will leave there & it may be somewhat confusing to read BUT you know you're entirely free to ask me whatever questions you want for more info & clarification so feel free \(￣︶￣*\))

tl;dr: re-suggesting the idea you may be ockin; possibly confusing explanation of how i navigated being from a Thing that doesn't exist except in my head in the hopes it may be of help to you

That is very possible, in fact it’s probably the most likely at this point, given the fact I’ve latched on to every recount of memories that have come my way thus far. Your memories and experiences have illuminated spots of my life where I would have otherwise felt lost, so I deeply appreciate that you trusted me enough to share those experiences with..  Another thing I’ve been mulling over is if I could be conceptkin. Nowadays I feel like memories are all that I am, could that feeling hold a deeper meaning? Or could I even be a simple manifestation of my own fears? The longer I go without answers, the more attractive that possibility begins to seem- though I guess it wouldn’t explain the odd dreams that have haunted me. You are right, having nothing to reference back to does make me a bit nervous, but I knew this whole process wasn’t going to be easy regardless of the outcome so I’m fully ready to face that possibility and come up with a plan to better organize and keep track of memories. I’ll definitely keep OC kin in the back of my mind as I go through all my notes, but I want to rule out all potential answers beforehand. Thank you for reminding me though

Your Earliest Experienced Memories As Alterhuman, Fictionkin, etc!

I have admittedly been bogged down to my work, so I apologize for the silence. I'm married to my job and academic courses first and foremost...

After having so many wonderful conversations with you all, I would like to open a conversation to any and all who see this post. Recall your earliest memory that you experienced. Was it when interacting with something that triggered your memories? Was it when viewing a television program, or reading a chapter from a book in a dark corner of the library? Perhaps it came to you in a dream. However it came to you, I would like to hear all the details that you are willing to provide because you all have such remarkable stories, some that have been left unsaid. You deserve it to yourselves to share your stories, to let yourselves be known.

Do You Dream of the Stars? Or Better Yet, Is It What Makes You Wake Up Screaming?

Have you ever thought about the vastness of everything in the macrocosm? About looking out a spaceship window and seeing nothing but an endless sea of darkness? Ask yourself, can space really be endless? I mean, we all know the universe isn't… but what happens at the end of the universe? Like if I was to get in a spaceship could I just keep on going and going forever without ever revisiting the same places? This is terrifying to me, that there are places out there that will never be seen by human eyes. Then there's that pesky phrase, “Space is expanding”. Well how can that be true? How am I supposed to conceptualize cosmic inflation theory, if there isn't the dark matter of space in the spots it's expanded to before, then just what was there before? What do we call that? This doesn't freak anyone else out?

 I want to visualize and understand all of it. The below, the above, what surrounds our being.  If. I could just map it out and understand fully, then it wouldn't make my head spin as much. It feels like unfinished work that will never be completed... Which I guess in a way, it sort of is