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Humor - Blog Posts
můj oblíbený kousek, vtípeček, dalo by se říci, je říkat 'to by se mělo zakázat' o věcech jako bolest mých zad, kausální vztah psychických a fyzických problémů nebo důsledky nedostatku spánku, s indikací toho, že by tento zákaz měla vykonat vláda.
moje další talenty v oboru umění konverzace, obsahují reference na věci o kterých nikdo kolem mě neslyšel.
Apollo Justice fanfiction request
This is a request for a fanfiction. I don't know how to write fanfiction but I have an idea of what I want. I might update it once in a while if I think of something else I want in it. I want it posted on ao3. The tags below need to be in the work. You can add more but I want those tags in the work. Please, no major character death or graphic depictions of violence. Also no investigations spoilers. I want a fic where Apollo Justice, for a reason that is likely trauma, is selectively mute. I say selectively mute because I still want his chords of steel. The conditions of his muteness are that because of trauma, he doesn't trust anyone or he thinks that if he talks, bad things happen so he doesn't talk at all. You can add panic attacks. You can be as creative with his backstory as you want as long as the characters don't know what it is yet. Exception to this could be clay terren. But he dies anyway. He lets people know what he wants by writing in a notebook. Or by acting out what he wants, leading to funny moments of people trying to guess what he wants, with the two wrights being bad at charades. Or the best form of communication, paper airplanes accurately thrown to the person's head. And yes, he can still make sounds, so he can scream, gasp, whine, squeak, etc. So if someone were to bring up magic panties, expect a loud whine from Apollo in response. But as he comes out of his shell and trusts people more, he starts talking. I want mainly klaivar to bring him out of his shell but in a nice supportive manner. And slowly they fall in love with each other. If you make them have sex, make Apollo the bottom. Trucy helps Apollo too. She is okay with the fact that Apollo doesn't speak. She is happy to advocate for Apollo. She tries to help by talking for Apollo but she doesn't even get close to what Apollo wants to say, leading to funny moments. She can still prank and make fun of him but never in a bad way. If you can reference this video, that would be great. Phoenix Wright is also supportive. I don't want you to make him an asshole. I want Phoenix to basically be Apollo's dad. Phoenix never forces Apollo to talk but tells him that he'll be there for Apollo. I think he'll make jokes of "what that, timmy stuck in a well" or other jokes like that. Don't worry it's all in good fun. I don't know how Miles will come into play. Maybe he'll be awkward but trying to help Apollo. You can make Phoenix and edgeworth married if you want. Or just boyfriends. But they need to be together. Kristoph is of course going to be an ass. He unfortunately is going to be a abusive, manipulative little shit to Apollo. Trying to rip his notebook and beating the shit out of the cat. Always forcing Apollo to talk like the asshole he is. Being a ableist piece of shit. I want the storyline to be the same as the game. From the first trial of Apollo Justice to end either at the end of the game or the end of the trilogy. Sorry if this sounds like too much work. Also I want Apollo's cat to be like a service animal. What tasks that the cat can do is up to you. In the beginning of the fic, I want the first word in front of people that Apollo says to be "gotcha." Which shocks everyone in court, including himself. Because of that, lets everyone know that he has the ability of talking but can't talk. Also judge at first doesn't understand why Apollo doesn't talk but later tries to accommodate for him. All the prosecutors are assholes about Apollo not talking, except for klaivar and edgeworth. You can make the title of the fic whatever you want. I want the fanfiction to be complete, so if you think you can't finish, no worries. And again sorry if this sounds like too much work. You don't have to do it, you can always just let someone else do it. When you are finished, or have started, please share to me and credit me for the prompt. Ao3 username is same as tumblr. Comment or message directly for any questions. Thank you and I hope to see your work.
If I see any comments disagreeing with this I'm putting you on a watchlist and calling your mother.
No one is wondering why I'm on Tumblr but this is still the main reason why
This number especially goes out to people with cool ocs (everyone's ocs are cool)
¡Chicos, Chicos, el Mapache de la esquina soy YO! XD
who the heck are yall and why are you in my house-
I can't believe I didn't realise it earlier
But maybe that doesn't sound that funny on English, lol
Summer. Pt. 3.
Spinner is a guy who cares about his mates but sometimes his good intentions fail
✦Dibujos de una Vanana 3✦ (en Wattpad) https://my.w.tt/APcIJNuc23 Woohoooo~! ¡Bienvenidos a esta tercera entrega de Dibujos de una Vanana! Osea yo, ajio. La mayoría son de Transformers, así que verás mucho robots aquí, cosas gays y kk. [Actualizaciones nocturnas en algunas ocasiones.] Por favor, ¡disfruta!
Memes & Cómics De Fnaf (en Wattpad) https://my.w.tt/YIHHgz14m2 ¿Eres fnafer/animatroner y estás aburrido? ¿Tu historia de memes de Fnaf no se actualiza? ¡Pues estás en el lugar correcto! #144 en Fnaf 26,10,2019 #47 en Mangle #33 en Springtrap #27 en Puppet #19 en Videojuegos
Se você entendeu, você é foda
é assim crianças, que surgem os buracos negros! E também é por isso que ela anda descalça…
Achava que era aquela teoria do Stephen Hawking?
I lied…?
Sorry, I have to post my work somewhere! This one’s a short story about a humorous boy named David:
— — — — — — — — —
David was a regular guy with an extraordinary sense of humor. Everywhere he went, laughter followed. It seemed that David had a knack for finding humor in the most mundane of situations. His infectious laughter, coupled with his witty remarks, made him the life of every party. One sunny afternoon, David decided to embark on a road trip to visit his old college buddies. As he drove down the highway, he couldn't help but chuckle at the sight of a billboard promoting a dentist's office with a giant tooth holding a toothbrush. "That's one way to get people to brush their teeth," David mused to himself. Arriving at his friends' house, he was greeted with hugs and a round of applause. They couldn't wait for David to entertain them with his hilarious anecdotes. With a twinkle in his eye, David launched into a story about his recent grocery store visit. He recounted how he had mistaken a cucumber for a zucchini and proceeded to have a full-blown conversation with it, giving it advice on how to survive the harsh supermarket environment. The image of David talking animatedly to a vegetable had his friends in stitches, tears rolling down their cheeks. The evening continued with one riotous event after another. From impersonating famous comedians to cracking witty one-liners, David had everyone roaring with laughter. But it wasn't just his quick wit that made people laugh. It was his ability to find humor in the smallest things. One night, while having a bonfire in the backyard, David noticed a group of fireflies flickering in the distance. He couldn't resist the opportunity for a practical joke. Sneaking away from the group, he collected some glow sticks from the house and carefully attached them to his body, imitating the fireflies. Returning to the gathering, David pretended to be a firefly caught in a trance, bobbing and weaving around the guests. His friends burst into fits of laughter as they tried to catch the elusive firefly, completely unaware it was their witty friend playing tricks on them. David's humor wasn't limited to just his social life. He found joy in bringing laughter to strangers as well. He volunteered at a local hospital, where he enthusiastically entertained the patients and staff with his jokes and funny stories. Even in the face of illness, David managed to bring smiles to their faces. One particular moment brought laughter to an entire ward. David had crafted a makeshift puppet out of rubber gloves and a mop, giving voice to the goofy character. He weaved a tale of the puppet's misadventures, his comical voice filling the room with infectious laughter. Word of David's humor started spreading, and soon he was invited to perform at comedy clubs and charity events. His unique ability to find humor in the ordinary made him a hit with audiences, and his popularity soared. However, David never let his success change him. He remained humble, spreading laughter wherever he went. His old college buddies fondly remembered the road trip that sparked David's rise as the funny guy. To them, he was still the same down-to-earth guy who talked to cucumbers and mimicked fireflies. David's extraordinary ability to make people laugh became his legacy. His name became synonymous with joy and laughter. Whether it was his hilarious stories, impromptu puppet shows, or just a witty remark, David's humor brightened the lives of everyone he encountered. And so, the funny story of David became a legend, passed down from one generation to another, reminding us all of the incredible power of laughter.
— — — — — — — — — — —
That’s that folks! Please follow if you liked and if you like art go check out my friend @mastertimestwo
Luv y’all! :D
The conch is never wrong.
Chapter 9: Totally a Normal Day
warnings: None, just humor and a normal day.
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Three days have passed since that day, yet I don’t feel any better. In those three days, Liviya never missed a chance to shoot me dirty looks, her face barely concealing the rage simmering beneath the surface. But to her credit, she kept it at bay—perhaps the only thing about her I could actually appreciate.
Today, Prince returned to collect our consent forms for the offer he made. I watched as he moved through the room, gathering the papers one by one. When he reached me, I handed mine over without hesitation.
Leaving this place has been on my mind for a long time—an idea I’ve weighed, dissected, and planned for. I may not be in the best shape to explore the world beyond, but something deep inside tells me that if I take this chance, something will shift. A moment of risk, a chance at change. It’s not that I hate this place—not entirely. Maybe it’s just preference. I don’t want to be caged here while everyone else gets to be free.
But this is the reality of my power. Isolation is the safest choice until I can truly stand on my own. So I endure. I find ways to appreciate this place—though appreciate is hardly the right word for a place that feels more like a prison than a home.
The clock ticked away until it was finally break time. Clara approached me, inviting me to eat lunch with her. As we sat down, our conversation drifted to my plans for joining the journalism team.
“I want to use this as a way to get involved in activities outside the campus,” I said, opening my lunch box. “I suppose it’s a good way to clear my mind, too.”
Clara nodded, chewing thoughtfully before speaking. “I guess that makes sense for you. But… I think you might end up like one of those exhausted, overworked students.” Her words came out slightly muffled by the food in her mouth.
“Why?” I asked, raising a brow.
“Well, journalism can be both fun and tiring. Instead of resting, you’ll have a ton of things to balance,” she replied.
“I expected as much—maybe even worse.” I shrugged.
Clara let out a sigh. “Just don’t do too well, or they might send you off on some big assignment. Who knows? You might never come back.” She tried to sound playful, but there was a hint of something else beneath her words. “I suppose it fits your goals, but… I’d miss you, Hagarin.”
I chuckled. “I get it. But won’t we all go our separate ways eventually? Everyone has their own dreams to chase.”
“You don’t have to rush yours, though,” Clara murmured. “Enjoy things with us while you still can.”
I scoffed. “You make it sound like I’m good enough to just leave everything behind without a second thought.”
“Because you are,” Clara said simply.
I shook my head. “No. I’m not perfect. I have my fair share of mistakes.” I set my lunch box on my lap, my gaze drifting toward the track and field. From here, I could see the open space stretching beyond the school buildings, a distant world that felt both inviting and unreachable.
“Still,” Clara insisted, “you’re more than qualified for it.”
I let out a sigh, irritation creeping in. “You put me on too much of a pedestal.” Such a glazer.
Clara didn’t respond, and I quietly finished my food, the weight of her words lingering in the air between us.
“Sup, guys? Why so quiet?” Ezra strolled over, eyeing my food like a starving stray. I sighed and handed it to him without a word.
“Just fussing over the fact that Hagarin is gonna leave us,” Clara exaggerated with a dramatic sigh.
“Leave? You mean the journalism thing? I signed up too,” Ezra said between bites.
Clara’s eyes widened. “No way you’re gonna be a reporter! You look more like a criminal!”
Ezra gasped, clutching his chest as if she had just stabbed him. “That’s so mean, Clara!” The laughter slowly faded as we settled into a comfortable silence, eating in peace—until Ezra, as usual, broke it.
“I heard we’ve got a returning student,” he said, casually between bites.
That caught my attention. I glanced up, listening closely.
“Oh? Sebastian? Yeah, he actually went on an adventure,” Clara said with a chuckle. “For real this time.”
“What did he do?” I asked, curious.
“He was chosen for the Rite of Astralis,” Clara explained. “It’s kind of a tradition here. You get to go through these... I don’t know, adventurous arcs? Trials? Either way, it’s a big deal. A dream, honestly. You could be chosen next year!”
I nodded slowly. “How was he chosen?”
Clara tilted her head, thinking. “Mmm… maybe it’s ‘cause he’s always so composed? Honestly, no clue. But he’s good. Performs really well. Probably a little like Ezra—just, you know, less chaotic.”
Ezra tugged her hair in retaliation, and the two immediately broke into their usual squabble, bickering like cats and dogs. I just watched them, quietly amused. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
During the grace period our professor gave us, some students were cramming last-minute tasks, while others just chatted idly. Nothing unusual—there weren’t many of us to begin with, so the room always felt quiet, almost predictable.
That is, until someone new walked in.
He had fair skin that seemed to catch the light in just the right way—almost glowing, though that sounds dramatic. Still, there was something undeniably striking about him. Maybe it was how healthy he looked, or how all his features came together so effortlessly, giving him this… natural charm.
That must be Sebastian.
His chestnut hair fell just right, giving him a charismatic air that somehow lit up the room. Almost instantly, the atmosphere shifted. Students cheered and greeted him like an old friend.
It was...nice.
When the professor finally returned, he paused at the door, his expression softening the moment he saw Sebastian.
“Ah, welcome back,” he said with a nod, then gestured toward the back of the room. “You’ll be seated with Clarence.”
So that’s why that seat was always empty.
As Sebastian made his way to the back, Clarence looked up—and for the first time in a while, his usually unreadable face broke into a genuine smile.
The two exchanged a brief look, one that spoke volumes. No words were needed. It was the kind of silent understanding only close friends shared—like they hadn’t seen each other in months but had picked up right where they left off.
Sebastian slid into the seat beside him, and just like that, the energy in the room shifted again—familiar, but different.
During our free time—while the professor was still present—we were allowed to work on tasks from other subjects. The only condition? No noise, no distractions, no chaos.
But... yeah.
I watched as Ezra strutted around like he owned the place, talking loudly with Clarence and Sebastian at the back of the room. Honestly, Sebastian wasn’t much quieter either.
“Boys at the back! Silence!” the professor snapped.
Clarence immediately facepalmed, clearly regretting his life choices.
“And you,” the professor turned his glare toward Ezra, who froze mid-sentence.
Ezra gulped and quickly dropped into his seat.
“Three days ago was your fifth visit to the counselor. Are you planning to make it a sixth?”
All three of them winced at the same time as the professor launched into a scolding loud enough for the whole class to hear. Wow, what a normal day today.
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In the final hour before dismissal, I found myself zoning out. The discussion had become unbearably dull—like a lullaby disguised as a lecture. It was as if whispers of mischief snuck into my head, gently urging me to just give in and sleep.
I closed my eyes for a second… and that second stretched into what felt like eternity.
And just like that—I was out.
Faint whispers stirred around me, then slowly faded into an eerie silence. Only the soft hum of the air conditioner filled the room, its cold breath brushing against my skin. For a moment, the stillness was oddly peaceful.
Until—
“Okay! Class dismissed!”
The professor’s voice exploded through the quiet like a bomb. I jolted awake with a flinch—only to be met with the blinding flash of a phone camera aimed right at me.
Ezra.
“Hey!” I shouted, glaring as he grinned behind his phone.
Laughter erupted around the room, and I could only groan, hiding my face in my hands.
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1,415 words
next chapter
"Imagine if you will, that there was a world where a based white boy who has that black teen swagger and is goated with the sauce lost his rizz. Can this jit say that his drip is bussin when he can't rizz up the local gyatt, no cap fr? Can this mid simp get the glowup and slay once more? Find out on this episode of, The Twilight Zone."
