"The Gods Love You❤" **INCREDIBLY LOUD INCORRECT BUZZER**

Interacting With Many Works of Media, When Kinsidering

I’ve come to notice something, in my tireless journey to find my place amongst the cosmos. It’s something some of you may have felt before, which is why I have decided to document it here. I have had a number of amazing fictionkin reach out to me over the past couple of days to share with me their memories, their woes, and to impart their wisdom upon me- naturally, I tried to read up on and view nearly all of their sources. It’s my cross to bare, that I’m an overachiever in this regard, and I have no one to blame but myself for this feeling that has come over me. 

It’s sort of a fuzzy feeling, like my bones are weightless and I just can’t think straight. It’s not bad, it’s just…odd.  My brain feels completely fried, like I can’t convey myself as articulately as I had before. I’ve been ruminating over possibilities for a while, and I wonder if it’s because I’ve been thinking about it too much? And of course, it’s been a long while since I’ve had so much social interaction so it isn’t entirely out of the realm of possibilities that this could just simply be my lack of sociability catching up with me.

Two Sentence Horror Story:

You send an ask to a beloved mutual, only to look back at the google doc that you copied and pasted from. There's a grammatical error.

Does Your Fear Guide You in Your Discovery of Identity?

I find the neurobiological response to fear so incredibly intriguing, especially seeing what things affect individuals versus others. There's such a wide variety to choose from- just search up any old list of phobias on the internet and you'll clearly see that. 

It’s fundamental, a deeply wired reaction in our bodies, evolved over the history of life as we know it in order to protect organisms against perceived threat to their integrity of existence.

The amygdala and hippocampus are mostly responsible– the hippocampus processing the perceived threat, and the amygdala givinging that adrenaline rush that we all crave so desperately. This high arousal state can be both from fear or excitement. I don't think it's that much of a leap to suggest that fear and excitement are both connected and therefore can both derive satisfaction. 

More importantly, fear can actually help aid your memory. This is of course only to a certain extent, as prolonged distress of high quantities can actually lead to memory loss in self protection, but I would like to theorize for a moment that the reason that so many of those that have contacted me so far, have had memories after viewing the more high tension scenes from their source material is because of the stress neurotransmitter norepinephrine, promoting the formation of fear based memories by stimulating inhibitory neurons in the amygdala while we are so engrossed in the content. 

The fear feels familiar because it is. It's been living dormant inside you all along. That being said, I would like to inquire about the most distressing moment for you when viewing your own source material? How did it relate to your identity, and did it lead to memories related to said scene afterwards? 

And of course, my dms are always open..

An Update;

So far, my break from latching onto others’ memories is going well! My dreams still haunt me all the same, I try not to remember them– a myriad of eyes, a cacophony of screams in the dark, these will be lost to the sands of time, but if I just ignore them I won't have to breathe life back into the horror of it all by posting on here. Besides, wouldn't that be cheating..?

There were times that I felt like I wanted to go into my inbox, an anxious sort of feeling that  tells me I have to look, but after 6 days ignoring it, this is seemingly fairly manageable! On an unrelated note, did you know you can grit your teeth hard enough to make fractures in them? 

Ocean Eyes

There is an eye at the bottom of the ocean, belonging to an old god whose name has been forgotten, but still leaves echoes in the memory of man. It's there, under the rolling waves and aquatic life. In a constant staring contest with our sun that's dripping crimson with the blood of so many who have given into their fears, the eye gazes not just on that sun but through every life that has ever lived in this reality we've found ourselves in, and so many others.

 When it finally blinks, the world will end. This is a fact. The Earth will begin to swallow us whole, and nature will take back what we've stolen from it. Bridges collapsing and headlights careering into the star filled glinting sea, into doors that were never meant to be opened. Fear and panic in the air, do you feel it too?.. and when that eye blinks, our sun will too. I want to look down into those depths just so I can reassure myself it's fine. ‘It was just a dream, a terrible, terrible dream that you had because you went into cardiac arrest,’

But it's still wriggling in my brain, pulling in and out of my periphery like a tide. So I think..

I'm going to run a little experiment. I've mentioned my urges- 

My fixation with hearing others experiences and memories, my drive to feel that connection, and to pick at the more distressing details of said memories. I would like to stop completely, just to see how uncomfortable I'd get. I want to document how long it takes until my resolve cracks, just to get a sense of how trapped I really am in this cycle.

So, if I don't post for a while, my blog isn't dead! I'm simply trying not to fall into a pattern that I've been feeding into for the past 3 months. I will post the results when I feel I've gotten satisfying results.

You are probably from final destination 5

I actually have quite the memory to share about bridges specifically... But I need more time to explain myself articulately. Your suggestion certainly has not gone unnoticed though

hello hello, i hope you're doing well !! i'm a tim stoker fictionkin who's only kinda ?? recently been kinfirmed, and just so happened to stumble across your blog !! gotta say, love your posts, especially about exploring kin identities since i'm... honestly still a bit new to alot of it (including working out stuff about my own identity) and i'd be very willing to share some experiences regarding anything !! it can be a learning moment for both of us haha xD

I don't have much experience in questioning those who have so recently discovered their fictionkin identities, so I'd be pleased to hear anything regarding your memories or experiences that you're willing to share. Perhaps you could allow me some unique insight on what you remember or your feelings in the discovery of your identity.Also.. I'd like to apologize for the delay in responding back to you, I was on a brief and unexpected hiatus due to health reasons, but I'm back now for the foreseeable future, I genuinely appreciate your patience

also small side note... is the "is fear close relative or truth" thing a twenty one pilots reference?

-marcus keay (non-cannon tma)

Oh, you noticed that. I hadn't exactly phrased the lyrics the same way, but I guess I'm more obvious than I thought–

It's funny, when people ask about my favorite genre of music, I always say classical in subconscious hopes of looking mature. It's almost out of reflex now, but I do enjoy Twenty One Pilots. There's a few lyrics in that song that resonated with me;

‘I could take the high road, but I know that I'm going low,’

‘I created this world to feel some control, I could destroy it if I want, so I sing Sahlo Folina’

It's that feeling of staring into the abyss, or really crossing the line in order to take vengeance.  It's the feeling of hitting a point of no return, and being resigned to the fact I may need to let myself become dangerous just to survive. 

PSA

The entire city of Richmond, VA (where I live) and some surrounding areas are currently having a water crisis after the city'ss water treatment plant failed.

~300,000 people are without safe drinking water. About half of that are without water at ALL. People can't shower, wash their hands, or flush the toilet. We have three major hospitals all without running water.

No estimates for when water will be restored exist. The city is not communicating with us at all. The governor, WHO LIVES IN THE CITY, hasn't said a word about it. National Guard, FEMA, nobody has been mobilized to support us. It's not getting any media coverage outside of our local news.

If you can, please share the word so there's more attention to this. There's so many people in danger here, especially those in vulnerable condition like patients or the elderly who are at risk of death, and we need some noise to be made about this.

Please share and thank you if you can <3 Also, if you are around Richmond or know anyone in Richmond, please see what you can do to offer water to those in need in the city, or reach out to your Richmond friends to see if there's anything you can do for them. We're having like three hours long water distribution in two locations every day and it's not enough.

https://www.12onyourside.com

Richmond area’s water crisis continues for a third day

Wednesday is the third day of the city of Richmond and surrounding areas encountering water problems.

EDIT Jan 8, 2025: UPDATE!

The neighboring county (henrico county) had their systems contaminated with our water, so now ~600,000 people are without clean and safe drinking water. Potable water trucks have been deployed to hospitals and water distribution centers have been set up, but everything is still scant.

It has been 3 days. This is still going.

PLEASE KEEP SHARING, MAKING NOISE, CHECKING ON YOUR FRIENDS! AND DONATE TO ANY VALID RELIEF FUNDS YOU SEE!

Hello,

Help me share my latest artwork, describing one of the situations I went through during this war

Help us spread awareness about suffering in war, please 🙏

I hope you will Reblog and Donate to support my family to survive.

My New Post LINK

Thanks a lot 🌹🌹

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