Oh They’re Little Goblins This Is FANTASTIC News I Am Throwing Them All Into A Cardboard Box

It's kind of tragic how homophobia affects insecure men.

Like sometimes they want to experiment with a bit of anal and instead of just buying a sex toy and some lube like a normal person, they instead shove random objects up their ass that inevitably get stuck and then they try to get them out by themselves which makes things worse and then they lie to doctors about it and like this all leads to all kinds of extra complications like internal damage, risk of infections, bleeding, the fall of Yugoslavia, etc.

Come on guys, just buy a dildo. It's way safer and it leads to way fewer problems.

My mother just, straight up, said ‘You expect a lot from me” and then, when asked for the names of those, she said, and I quote, “Food.”

Lemony Snicket, The Beatrice Letters

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Get out of here, Rose

party animals

With the new wave of porn bots, every notification I get from this site is one of two things: either, it is a like/reboot for a piece of writing, or, as I fear, being followed by one of those bots

I think it was before I started posting story concepts on tumblr but I had an old concept called ‘apocalyptia’ which was a dark comedy about a world where every apocalypse movie premise happened simultaneously

Adaine meeting a stuck up girl who's good at everything and aced her school year already and immediately turning to her party members and saying she was worse than Kalvaxus, a centuries old dragon, is so real of her

guy who is especially prone to demonic possession but does not believe in either demons or possession

A ghost stegosaurus visiting their newly discovered bones. They’re so happy you found them!