Friends, I Have Been Quiet Because I Have Been Funnelling All My Creative Energy Into Music Right Now

“You couldn’t make Blazing Saddles today!” is an adage I am so sick and tired of hearing that I made a half hour video debunking it. It also goes into exactly why the film is considered one of history’s most disruptive classics, and if you have time, you should check it out!

My channel is tiny, so any subs/shares/likes/comments you have are highly appreciated. Thanks in advance, pardner. 

Music as Metaphor

In the video above, India sits at the piano, playing a soft melody to herself. In this moment, she is alone, reflecting on her predicament. She has a violent darkness in her that at this moment, causes her more sadness than anything else. This is her meditation.

Charlie enters, the looming figure that is representative of this darkness made flesh. Charlie is outwardly violent, unashamedly manipulative, and takes immense joy in his cruelty. Throughout the film, he attempts to indoctrinate India into this ideology. He interrupts her melody with the kind of deep, foreboding chords you would expect, which India futilely attempts to rebuff with her original, soft melody. The following scene perfectly illustrates the relationship between the two characters without a word being said.

While India is still technically in control of the song, Charlie is controlling it’s tone and atmosphere with these dark bass notes. Much like in life, he is trying to get under her skin, and seduce her into his psychosis. Note how he ever-so-gently let’s their hands touch 19 seconds in, daring her to get closer to him, daring her to let him lead. Perhaps excited by this touch, India gives in, and at this point the song becomes a duet.

This is music as metaphor.

Closing her eyes, India allows the music to naturally progress, lowering her defenses, entertaining the idea of harmony. Charlie brilliantly picks up on this moment of weakness, and utilities it to completely take control, changing the music dramatically as well as closing the gap between them physically. She loses all her autonomy in the song, and for a moment plays nothing. She should not have thought cooperation would come so easily.

Unwilling to accept this, she herself makes a bold move; changing the mood of the song. She enters with a lighter, much more playful flourish, as if this is all a game or competition. Look at how she looks at Charlie; she wants to know just how much she can control him, to what extent she can lead (or equally, to what extent he’ll let her lead). She studies his face intensely, desperately curious how he will react. she has been baited, and by engaging Charlie rather than ignoring him, she is already letting him take control. This is especially pertinent given how light and and playful the song has become.

That said, listen to what happens when their eyes meet; however playful, the notes start to sting.

India realises her mistake, and yet again tries to rectify it. However, it is too late, in this moment they connected, and a sad, dark honesty comes out in the song. India knows she is like Charlie, sh knows it but she hates it, and right now she cannot deny it. Charlie realises that he has more power over India now by allowing her to take the lead, and allows her the spiral downwards around the 1:25 mark. He knows what it will lead to; the ostinato.

This is the moment when India and Charlie are truly working together; India allows herself not to lead or follow, but to work in unison with this monster. This is when she has fallen completely under his spell, and she allows herself to. Charlie understands this, and the physical barrier between them completely breaks down. The music grows somewhat sadder as India feels the lust and longing in her grow from this physical contact. She knows what Charlie is. She knows what she is. She cannot help what she wants. This is the closest the two get to having a sex scene in the film, and honestly, it’s an infinitely more effective way of conveying their relationship to one another. Charlie moves out from behind India, knowing his seduction has worked. India closes her eyes, her legs tense, and she is lost in the song.

The song abruptly stops, and there is a clear look of both exhaustion, horror and realisation on India’s face. She pants and takes the silence in. Charlie leans in to kiss her, and also disappears behind her in the shot. When she turns to him, she see’s he was never actually there.

This is the power he holds over her.

Stoker is a fantastic film from one of my favourite working Directors, and I feel this scene perfectly illustrates the idea of music as metaphor in cinema.

!!!NEW Teen Sexting codes that !!YOU!! should know!!!

HELLO fellow parents. Over the last three (3) months I have been analysing my teens Texting and Sexting texts and have discovered a veritable SWATHE of new sex text code that I will share with you NOW. Simply scroll down to see the codes. Warning: some of these are quite unpalatable. 

🏃🏻 - I ran into an old friend who I had sex with

💀 🍆 💀 - I am infertile, let us engage in risk-free intercourse

g2g - Good to go (for sex)

Can’t talk, SAD! - Can’t talk, Sucking A Dick!

✂️ 🍆 - My recent adult circumcision has left me prepared and eager for sex

Code Blart - My parents are watching Paul Blart Mall Cop, come over for quiet sex as their riotous laughter will conceal our sinful animalistic grunting 

BCARWPBKFHRITPHS💀LUMUACHLACAMHPTS - Beloved character actor Ray Wise, perhaps best know for his role in Twin Peaks, has sadly passed away. Let us meet up and celebrate his life and career, and mourn his passing through sex

✈️🌫👎 🍆✖️ - Chemtrails have damaged my libido and left me unprepared for sex today

POPS - Prime ovulation, peak sex

3.14159 - The ratio of the circumference of a circle to its diameter 

👉👌📹👀 - Let’s have sex in the blind spot of my parent’s security camera rig

lol - come on guys, surely we all know this one (face palm)

AM - I have no mouth and I must cum

🏅- come look at my Sex Medals

💀 💀 💀 🍆 - My family has died, come over for sex (note: number of skulls equal to number of dead family members your teen has)

Emoji - Term for small images used to depict sex acts

🍑 🍑 - Put a peach in my butt

cu46 - Have yet to crack this one. Any other parents out there able to illuminate this?

At the moment of conception, the story exists as a superposition of possibility, idly waiting for someone to crack it. Waiting for someone to skip to the last page.

For Halloween I made a video recommending five spooky horror movies in just five spooky minutes. Lemme know what y’all think or if you have any suggestions for what to watch this All Hallow’s Eve

So I thought Nier: Automata was a really dumb game where you played as an anime and fought big robot worms, when suddenly I had put 60 hours into it and made this video talking about it’s Hegellian take on the origins of self-consciousness. Go figure! If you enjoy my content, please do give me a sub/comment/like/bell/what have you, as it means a lot!

SCRIPT DOCTOR! Hereditary has AMNESIA

In a potentially new series, you get to look at my slack-jawed mug as I bloviate about film scripts and the changes I'd make to them. If you have any films y...

Hello all! I just started a video series on screenwriting and editing. I’ll hopefully be going over some general advice, common mistakes and even sharing some stories from my time in script editing.

Also, this is my ugly mug.

If there’s anything you’d like me to talk about, let me know! The first episode is on the film Hereditary, and sacrificing thematic value for story.

Annihilation

0.0001 multiplied by the speed of light squared is 9 trillion.

Or, 100mg worth of matter and antimatter multiplied by 3x10^8 squared gives you 9000000000000 joules of energy. Specifically, this is referred to as Annihilation energy.

0.0001 kg would provide the equivalent of 14.28 % of the energy in the Hiroshima atomic bomb. 

The average weight of two human bodies is 124kg.

Jordan Peterson is debating Slavoj Zizek! For money! For only a thousand dollars, you can watch two old men read a script where they luke-warm agree with each other so as to not look bad!

I am very sick and this was easy to make. Give me a like, share or sub if you can, it means a lot!

The way my life is going... I know if I don't do it now, I'll never die with dignity.

Owen from “Lilytooth”, a work in progress