Apollo: Hey, Hermes, I've Got Something To Tell You. I'm Pan.

i identify with hamlet because i, too, am a bisexual disasterpiece.

hamlet: makes everything infinitely more complicated than need be, spends half his time wallowing and procrastinating

me:

Hercule Poirot: shockingly, M. Ratchett is actually the infamous killer Cassetti!

everyone else on the Stamboul-Calais coach:

Greek gods & heroes as bdg 2

Sisyphus:

Demeter:

Practically all of the gods at some point or another:

benvolio, mercutio, horatio, and ophelia all have a group chat called "bastard-free zone." sometimes they go out to brunch just to get away from romeo and hamlet's bullshit

i know theres a "gay best friend" trope but i feel like we need to formally acknowledge the "due to unfortunate circumstances i am gay for an absolute bastard" trope

now this is, of course, just another excuse for me to point out how gay nick carraway and horatio are

Dorian Gray's the type of person who goes around calling himself a "social media influencer" after getting more than 10 likes on Instagram.

the first 10 likes were all Basil

quarantine is making bertha rochester a much more relatable character, ngl