I'm So Sick And You Should Totally Spend All Of Your Time Taking Care Of Me

homophobes are not allowed to use computers because the inventor of the computer was gay

Cute, cute, cute. The cutest. Mine, mine mine. Forever.

Look I touched grass... look... see? I'm normal now right?

I’m afraid that when I say “my butch,” people, especially straight people, are hearing “my daddy.” That’s fine for many. But when I say “my butch”, what I mean is:

Literal definition of spyware:

Also From Microsoft’s own FAQ: "Note that Recall does not perform content moderation. It will not hide information such as passwords or financial account numbers. 🤡

Me: "I kinda wanna get into this trading card game"

Tumblr: "one if the characters in the game is a lesbian robot-fucker"

Me: "I NEED TO PLAY THIS NEW TRADING CARD GAME"

transfem mad scientist who’s honestly a little disappointed that you didn’t grow attached to her after all the unethical experiments she performed on you. it’s like you don’t even care about this relationship…

#its working to well

Imagine a hyper-intelligent quantum computer hidden, within a complex sci-fi super-facility, who's body is technically the entire facility itself. Now imagine that an Affini attempts to make the facility into their floret.

The facility, built and abandoned by the accord, has been alone for decades, and refuses to trust the Affini or even admit to their own sentience.

It constantly tells the affini that it isn't a sophont, and is merely reacting within its protocols. So the Affini wanders through the complex, avoiding the computer's best attempts at killing them, and trying to help the computer through the trauma that it refuses to have. Eventually the Affini manages to get through to it and leaves with a little flashdrive containing their new floret.

TLDR; GLaDOS* gets florted.

*not really GLaDOS, but you get the point

Aww honey, why are you crying? I thought you'd be happy to know that I want to be with you so badly.

Your confession was so touching and cute I think we'd make a perfect couple. But sadly there's a problem. I'm not attracted to men. I was really disappointed by that because apart from that you're just perfect. Luckily I figured out a solution how we can resolve this. I'm going to turn you into a girl.

What's with that look on your face? You don't really look too upset by this. No, I thought you're even happy. Have you been waiting for this? A crazy girl kidnapping you and turning you into her girlfriend?

Oh honey, I'm so glad you think so. I promise to turn you into my cute and adorable princess. You'll be mine and mine alone forever because I made you perfect. 💜