Im Not A Robot Girl But One Thing That Always Gives Me Gender Envy Is Big Ai Systems That Control Like

#i want an army of them

hey folks if you have an android phone: google shadow installed a "security app".

play.google.com

Android System SafetyCore - Apps on Google Play

Provides safety features for Android devices.

I had to go and delete it myself this morning.

lesbian tgirl culture is wondering why you feel gay as a teenager when youre not even attracted to men

like a parasite, you're the only warmth that nurtures me

like a parasite, I want to crawl beneath your delicate skin

like a parasite, it physically hurts when I can't be with you

like a parasite, I want to fester and feed from the insides

like a parasite, I will leech on your vitality and craves more

like a parasite, your existence is my needed sustenance

like a parasite, my hunger for you is eternally insatiable

like a parasite, I'll cling on and consume your everything

like a parasite, I cannot survive on my own without you

like a parasite, I will follow you to the grave, my dear host

i am a PET

i should NOT have to work

all i should have to do is sit n be pretty

i do get a sick sense of satisfaction out of driving a yellow car. like well yes this might as well be something that i do. very few can

it’s fucking crazy that Harris’ stance on trans rights is “we should follow the law”. like aren’t you running for office girl? isn’t the whole idea that you will Make Changes to the pre-existing laws? truly continuing Biden’s legacy as the “why won’t anybody do anything to stop this?!” president before she even gets into office.

whatever. go my scarab

"Warning Signs Your Machines Are Trying to Kill You!" by TJ Klune

(Legally, I’m required to tell you that when smart phones first became popular, I bought one and then asked for the address of the app store because I thought it was a physical location I had to go to in order to download apps and not something already on your phone. Also, I was recently told I speak like an old person so as a warning, there will not be any slang you youths typically hear, especially on Tumblr. Any slang I’ve learned in the last five years has been against my will. I still don’t know what FOMO means, and I don’t care.)

1. Oh no! You and your family are trying to enjoy a movie night, but Overlord Prime (With Free Shipping) wants a sacrifice at the altar of their god, BeeZos. Should this happen, do not attempt to give Overlord Prime (With Free Shipping) a cantaloupe with googly-eyes on it and say that it is your baby. Overlord Prime (With Free Shipping) knows the difference between fruit and children. Instead, ask the machine to order dog food, and it will forget about eating humans for a little while.

2. If you own a very fancy vehicle that can drive itself, always make sure to carry a brick. That way, when the car locks you inside and attempts to drive you off a cliff into a gas station, you can break the window using the brick. You will then have to jump out, but make sure you do so in time so you can watch the wicked-ass explosion when the car hits the gas station, and you can revel in your victory over your car.

3. This one will hurt. I’m sorry, but it’s true. Chances are, you’re reading this on your phone right this second. To be safe, after you’ve finished reading this post and have clicked on the affiliated links to purchase my books, you should throw your phone into a volcano and then move to South Dakota where there are no machines, only wind and cows. That way, when everyone else gets the 5GZombieVirus that people on Twitter (I’m not calling it the other thing, shut up) seem to think is real, you’ll be safe with your cows on a windy day.

4. Get rid of your air fryer. Don’t ask me why, just do it. Red flags all around. Danger, danger.

5. Do you know of the Clapper? That thing first launched in the late 20th century (I wrote it that way to make me feel old) where the commercials showed cranky old people unable to reach their light switches, so they got a thing called a Clapper that turns your lights on and off when you clap? Guess what? Those will be the first things to try and kill you. If you love your gram-gram, save her from the Clapper. When she asks why you are destroying it with an ax, tell gram-gram it’s because you love her.

6. Do you live in a smart home? The kind where everything is connected to the internet, including your refrigerator? The refrigerator that holds your perishable foods? And oh, would you look at that: how many ice cubes have you kicked under it rather than picking them up when they fall to the floor? A dozen? A million? The refrigerator remembers. And it will spoil your food in seconds. What then? What are you going to eat? Canned food? Not if the refrigerator falls on top of you!

Unfortunately for you, this is where it must end. I hope this has given you enough information to help you survive the inevitable. If you do not heed my warnings, well. Who cares. I’m not in charge of you. Do whatever you want. Just don’t come complaining to me when gram-gram gets the clap.