Lost a friend today because he refused to listen about how harmful the concept of narcissistic abuse is, despite knowing I have NPD and that I'm a victim of the exact same kind of abuse he was (literally, he described my experience down to the letter).
He was one of my and my partner's closest friends, so today has been really rough.
Please listen to people with NPD about how this harms us. We're neurodivergent people with a largely traumagenic disorder, usually from abuse and/or neglect. We're not monsters, predisposed towards an abusive nature, or capable of a unique kind of abuse. We're just people who struggle with self-esteem because we base our ego primarily on our perception of what others think of us.
We're not saying this can never influence toxic behaviors, we're just pointing out that that's not more true of our disorder any more than any other health condition, from autism and ADHD to OCD to PTSD to addiction to eating disorders to bipolar to depression to anxiety.
We're also not trying to take language from other abuse victims. We're asking you to not be ableist (a form a structured societal abuse) towards other abuse victims. Call it what it is: emotional abuse. Emotional abuse is such a wider category than people realize, and it's important to talk about that. I hear what people are saying when they say they're wanting to describe a specific subtype of emotional abuse, so let's make words for that!
Manipulative abuse, coercive abuse, gaslighting abuse, guilt-tripping abuse, even safety abuse - that last for when people use their own mental health state and threaten self harm or suicide to get their way.
These can all be factors in emotional abuse - what's commonly described as narc abuse is what's standard for emotional abuse, involving a wide variety of tactics to exert control in the absence of physical or sexual abuse - which also can and usually are partly emotional in nature as well.
I'd love to open a conversation about terms that better describe what we went through! I'm just asking that we don't use the ones that further demonize a badly misunderstood disorder, and that people be willing to recognize that their understanding of it is based on a LOT of misinformation.
Just, please, listen to us. Be willing to be open-minded. We aren't your abusers, and we know that you deserved better and deserve a chance to heal to the fullest extent possible. We do too. Please, help make a safe space for us all to do so together.
Robots with body dysmorphia.
Robots who are jealous of other robots who have a display screen, RGB lighting, or better specs.
Robots who wish they had more versatile hands.
Robots with treads who wish they could walk.
Robots who weld extra metal on their form, wanting accessories and body modifications so badly and taking it into their own hands.
Robots who exchange their parts frequently because they're never quite happy with the replacements.
Large robots who yearn to be smaller, and small robots who yearn to be larger.
Robots with obsolete and ancient frames who dream of what it would be like to have been built with the newest technological advances.
Robots made for war with built-in weapons who are ashamed and embarrassed.
Robots who wish to be different, and would try anything to achieve that goal.
My fellow narcissists (people who have NPD) are one of the most loyal, resilient, and straightforward people I’ve met in my life. I know that our disorder is terribly misunderstood but here’s a reminder that we don’t have to align with unfair treatment pwPDs receive within the mental health advocacy community.
It’s okay to love your narcissism, it’s okay to appreciate the positive and beneficial attributes and qualities it gives us. A lot of us are incredibly protective of our friends, more than a non-NPD individual will ever be - because our disorder makes us so. A lot of us are helpful and incredibly caring individuals because of our NPD, and those closest to us can feel this blanket of care and protection settling over them. A lot of us are self-sacrificial (shocker.) because of our NPD, passionate because of it, or have other pleasant, beneficial, good qualities of character amplified because of our NPD.
I’ll make a rough guess and say that one of the most pleasant people you’ll ever meet are probably narcissists, because it benefits us to be liked, not all of us thrive off negative attention. So, hold your sanism. And to my fellow pwNPD, I love you.
literally seconds later AHAHHDJS
THE DREAM KEEPS GOING!!!
AHHH, IT'S BEEN DONE
thank you to all that have contributed, your efforts are sincerely appreciated!
although, even though i hit the max... I AM NOT STOPPING!! IM KEEPING THE BOOPING ALIVE AS LONG AS I POSSIBLY CAN!!!
i will say also, absolute shout-out to YOU!
crown of boops goes to you, frankly -- couldn't not have done it without you 🫶
the more time i spend on otherkin and alterhuman tumblr, the more i feel at "home", a sense of community and belonging thats never been there before
i like it, im glad im here, its pleasant
Aside from my seething and raging I will say that I fucking love narcissists. You do not deserve the way the world treats you. You do not deserve being looked down on and shat on and dehumanized and threatened merely for having a traumatic condition beyond your control. You are good and there are people who love you. And I know it hurts sometimes, but that is okay. It’s not your fault. You are not a monster. You are not an abuser. You are not evil or cruel nor are you some unstable unhinged child or whatever other ugly things others or your own brain wants to tell you. I love you, you deserve safety, and there’s always gonna be people in your corner fighting for and fighting alongside you.
reblog this if you're okay with booping spams please !!
Reblog if your blog is boopable-safe so you can get all the (probably new) achievements. I don’t care about notes I just want boops