Bro Waking Up After Going To Sleep With A Headache??

bro no-one told me how much of a pain in the ass it is to make an ao3 account💀

i gotta wait until the 18th of January to get an invitation???

is it like some high class secret club or somethin? what happened to signing up normally?

is it bcz it's a non profit thing? idk I've never really done much on it other than to read without an account but then i keep losing everything I've read😔

just finished rick and morty....i know he's like way older but good lord

holy shit i just googled his age, he's fuckin 70💀....my opinion hasn't changed I've just been made slightly more aware that my tastes are questionable.

anyways, anyone know any good rick and morty fics, i dont mind what kind, it can be just a character one or x reader. i couldn't really find much.

also fuck jerry, i can see why people get annoyed with him in the show.

boop!

Would thou write a little accidentally shrinking Simon's mask in the washer 🗣️

yes, I shall write a tibbit of shrinking the scary mans mask.

You had been trying to do him a favour, seeing him return with blood all over the damn thing. You'd had to practically peel the mask away from him even after he'd reluctantly agreed to let you wash it. Your efforts, while valiant, halted when you realised doing it by hand with an old toothbrush and wet sponge was getting you nowhere. So, after cursing whatever material he uses for the skull, you put it in the washing machine, thinking nothing of it...until you were met with a glowering ghost, towering in the doorway which would almost be horror movie gold if it weren't for the fact he was stood with a mask that clung to his face, the holes for his eyes were strained, making them look almost comically large. You could see the shape of his nose and how it was being pushed down, almost flat. You hold in your fit of laughter and end up in a staring contest which definitely did not help your composure. "Y/N" He growled, but instead of responding with fear you sputtered out a laugh, the way his mask clung to his mouth muffled his voice more than usual and you could the fabric straining against his mouth, reminding of you of those sheet ghost costumes but drenched in water. And so you ran for your life. Simon was never going to let you wash his mask again.

(this was my first ask! i hope i did your idea justice!) :]

bro im so fed up of reading fan fics or seeing art of two characters and one of them just gets nerfed.

Like- WHERE'D HIS MUSCLES GO!? they twinkify him (can i still say this? is this word allowed anymore idk) and the other dude still has his muscles?? WHY!?

or in fan fics, suddenly the guy is a blushing mess and he's supper shy when the guy has legit killed and will kill again or like blown shit up before (can't think of good examples but you get what i mean)

i know people can write / draw whatever they want but can people just accept that you can have two buff dudes without turning one into a ridiculously feminine version of themselves?

Can we just have more gay ships where it's just two bros punching each other and rolling around in the dirt because why tf not?

LET THE BUFF SHIPS LIVE!

Man i love arcane, the art is absolute perfection

but....

this? ^??? this fills me with rage because WHY THE FUCK IS HIS HAIR WHITE BUT HIS BEARD STAYS THE SAME!??!!

HE GOES TO THE SPIRITUAL VOID OF GAYNESS AND HIS BEAR JUST CAN'T BE ARSED TO CHANGE TO WHITE TOO???

WHY??

thought i might add a few of my own sayings from growing up.

tart - pretty obvious i think. basically another way of saying slut i guess. can be offensive can just be playful "she's a right tart"

"quit standin there like a wet lettuce" - something you say when someone's just stood there like an idiot basically, either in the way or just standing for no reason.

"quit fannying around" - same as quit messing around.

taking the mick - teasing or mocking, same as taking the piss, can be friendly or bullying. "he's taking the mick outta me"

eejit - and idiot, i think it's Irish but it might also be Scottish too.

I'll add some more if i can think of any.

an actual guide to british slang for foreign marauders writers.

because i am sick of seeing

a) people using american english eg. mom, sneakers

b) people overusing "mate" and "innit"

alright? = a greeting, like hello.

everyday words

ain't = haven't

scran = food, or to describe eating

swear down = promise

"swear down, I didn't do nothing,"

bloody = can be used in any sentence at any time

"bloody hell" "its bloody pissing it down out there" "i was bloody wankered"

bloke = a man

innit = isn't it?

mate = equivalent of calling someone bro

bruv, lad, my son = bro, dude, etc

fags, rollies, ciggies, (NOT A SPLIFF) = cigarettes

trust = trust me

"trust, ill tell you later"

chatting (what you chatting about?) = what are you on about?

quid = pound

proper buzzing = really excited

good

sound = good

bangin' = really good

lush = good

"that scran was lush"

jokes = a laugh, funny

bare = a lot of

fit = physically attractive

"he's well fit, isn't he?"

pissed = drunk

dodgy/dodge = questionable

bad

are you taking the piss? = are you having a laugh?

thats peak = thats bad

not being funny, but... = no offense but...

gordon bennett! = surprise, shock, disbelief

slag off = talk badly about someone

"she was slagging her off to anyone who'd listen"

minging, rank = disgusting

bloody nora = expression of surprise, irritation

bollocks = nonsense, something bad

"stop talking bollocks, mate"

skint = broke

prat, git = an idiot

insults

a melt = a pathetic person

clapped = ugly

"he's fucking clapped..."

sket = a promiscuous woman

slag = ^^

minger = an unattractive person

plonker = calling someone silly, not offensive

"don't be a plonker..."

cunt = VERY OFFENSIVE!

wanker, tosser = a general insult

bender, poof = a gay man, used insultingly

A short snippet of that fic

i did a poll ages ago for what kinda story i should do....the results said the majority of you wanted street racing au (car) Ghost x male reader (motorbike)

it's probably gonna take me a bit since i want to do some proper research into what cars and bikes but here's a little snippet, this might not make it into the final draft though.

The white light from the streetlights illuminate the road while the thunderous sounds of engines fill the air. One one side of you there's your fellow biker, her electric blue streaks popping in the dark of the night, on the other side of you there's a car. You glance over curiously which is when you notice....it's ghost...the fucking masked bastard who always wins, well not for long if you have anything to do about it. You grin under your helmet as you lean over, tapping the window of his car. He looks over and for a moment you think he has no eyes. bloody hell, his eyes were almost soulless. You shake that thought away, grinning under your helmet as you raise your hand and make a 'professional' and 'mature' gesture (you made the wanking gesture)

The flag girls begin their countdown.

"THREE!"

" TWO!"

"ONE!"

theres a pause

"GO!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

let me know if you wanna be tagged or if there's any mistakes :]

I've got a shit ton of drafts so would y'all be interested in seeing them, i think most of them are done. None of them are like character x reader, they're just random drabbles and thoughts. so uh I've got five i think, so you lot can just pick a number and I'll post that one lol

Immortal souls

I know i should be writing my other fics but...i got a new idea so here, have some scraps

Simon and you who were bonded a long time ago, long before kings and knights. You spent your childhood together and grew up eating fruits off of trees from strangers land and it wasn't long until love blossomed just as the flowers on the trees did

However, flowers dont last forever and neither does love...or does it?

War breaks out in your small and isolated haven, both you and Simon tried to escape but the enemy was relentless.

it wasn't long until you sat there on the mossy bed of the forest, the smoke of your village being set ablaze slowly inching closer just as the claws of death were grasping for you and simon.

Unfortunately for you it turns out you're immortal, you dont know how and dear god you've tried to find out how.

Whatever cruel curse had been put upon you and simon that night, it took a while for you to figure it out but you seem to be immortal while Simon....simon wasn't, but don't fret, he got revived eventually. However his memories were long gone, barely being lost in time because you cling so desperately to them.

And now you stood in front of your one and only true love, time to relieve this hearwrenching cycle until the cruel gods take mercy on your human souls. Except...it's no longer your Simon, it's ghost now, even more broken than the last incarnation you saw of him. He speaks up, oh how accents have changed over time.

"sorry...who are you?"

should i make this into a proper fic?