You Want Them To Text Back But That's Anxious Attachment Isn't It. It's Just That You Can Feel On The

you want them to text back but that's anxious attachment isn't it. it's just that you can feel on the wind when you're not wanted anymore. when they've fallen out of love in any small part of their marrow. you have a hawk's eye for disharmony. you can tell when she has begun packing her things.

don't be annoying. you want to write: i have never experienced unconditional love as an explanation but isn't that pathetic. in adulthood all love is conditional and it should be. you've been to too much therapy. touch grass. how sappy can you be.

but they don't reach for your hand while they're driving. they forget to ask you how you're doing. the call times no longer read 12:34:19. they're 30 minutes and perfunctory before she says baby please, i'm tired. i need to go to sleep. where in her life do you fit. why is it that you never fit into anyone's life very long. oblong creature with so many needs, spilling up and out and over everything. it's a fucking shame the first time she said she loved you it was for your independence. and now look at you.

hollow pit in your stomach, body shaking. fuck, not again. you're not going to ruin another relationship like this, codependent and toxic, spiraling. and in the other half of your brain: if that's your wife, wouldn't she want to hear it? wouldn't it be fine? wouldn't she just comfort you and you can both move on and nobody dies?

but you're crowding her! read another instagram Positive Vibes Only type of post that talks about calming your heart and your brain and your body. try to sit in silence. the thing is that you do have a life outside of her, remember? go back to it.

great news, your parents fucked you up and now you have no idea how to deal with love. you just keep wanting to be chosen. to be real to someone, all the way through. real and kept. held closely. seen as precious to somebody. why even is that? didn't you always swear that people can and should complete themselves? why are you so constantly driven to beg for love, doglike and barking?

it's just the tiny things. it's just that you have to weigh every silence and sentence like bricks on an exposed belly. you have no idea how to shut it off. every alarm bell in your body saying: this isn't safe. start scrambling. she's already going.

More Posts from Inthepoemsandthesands and Others

2 years ago

not happening

i'm not going to let myself

have a new crush

not this soon

not on her

i'm not going to let myself

like a girl so painfully straight

and break my streak

of not liking girls who could never

like me

but what happens

when i catch myself thinking of her

or looking for her

or lighting up, briefly,

at her name on my phone

when she's creeping up on me

like the first sign of spring

six more weeks of winter

i can't go any more days without her

but i promised

no more girls

not right now

definitely not her

shut up, heart


Tags

words may never truly express

the gratitude i feel

to have travelled to

the depths of despair.

after all,

it brought me you.

the combination of unlikely events

flutter in effect, endlessly changing

the possibility of what could be.

even then, i'm still content.

it brought me you.

isn't that enough, then?

tribulations and uncertainties:

i shed my past "self"

in the aftermath.

it was all worth it,

because

"it brought me you."

d.b.a

for s.

2 years ago

trying to think of something to say

for international lesbian day of visibility

i love women

happy lesbian day :) <3


Tags

she texted me minutes after i posted this so

who's delulu now

disappointment

when my phone buzzes

and it is his name

and not hers

11 months ago

Y'all have gotta get more insane about platonic relationships like you are about romantic relationships. We need to get more annoying about them NOW. I need to see more meta and losing our minds over them. Get more annoying NOW. More than that. More than that also.

Here is some ✨ i n s p i r a t i o n ✨ and ✨m o t i v a t i o n✨ for anyone stuck in a creative slump.

butterflies

there is something so nice

about having a new crush

someone new to look for

in the hallways on the way to class

someone i can tell my friends about

someone to text and to giggle over

i wish that the butterflies

could always be so uncomplicated


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women's hearts are lethal weapons did you hold mine and feel threatened

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