Happy 3rd Birthday To My Main Blog

Thank fucking god! After three continuous days of doing nothing else, I have finally triumphed! I can have my life back! 

20K SKETCH GIVEAWAY !

So in celebration of hitting 20,000 followers this week (vague panic) I’ve decided to do a little giveaway for all of you lovely people who put up with me on your dashboards.  I will be giving away 10 traditional sketch requests for 10 of my followers, randomly selected from those who like or reblog this post!  I will ship anywhere! Each piece will be a hand drawn work of the winner’s chosen subject, and shipped straight to them. CONDITIONS: 

You may reblog and/or like to enter, if you do both, your name will be entered twice.

You must be following me (this is to thank my followers, so duh).

You must have your ask box open! I will be contacting winners via ask, if your ask box is closed, I’ll choose another winner.

If you don’t respond within 24 hours, I will choose another winner.

Entries close on 5:00pm AEDT on Friday the 20th of February 2015, I will be contacting winners on the 21st. 

GOOD LUCK !

One of my favorite bit characters in Les mis is the poor random porter of Gillenormand who has to deal with Jean Valjean and Javert showing up at night with a mostly-dead Marius. He’s just so confused! He hasn’t read the first 1000 pages of Les Miserables so he has no context for Jean Valjean and Javert. He spends the entire conversation being utterly baffled.

POV: you’re just trying to sleep when you hear loud knocking at the door. Outside are two weird old men. One is a bizarre cop who seems to be operating on autopilot— he keeps mechanically saying incorrect nonsense like “here is Gilleormand’s dead’s son” even though Gillenormand has no son and the man they’re carrying isn’t dead. The other old man is some horrible-looking buff weirdo covered in sewage. They clearly have a History but you don’t know what it is.

They try to drag you into their relationship drama. One says Marius is dead, the other says nothing but exhaustedly shakes his head in disagreement in a way that makes him seem very Done with all of this. You are even more confused. You do not want to be part of this drama.

Javert addressed the porter in a tone befitting the government, and the presence of the porter of a factious person.

“Some person whose name is Gillenormand?”

“Here. What do you want with him?”

“His son is brought back.”

“His son?” said the porter stupidly.

“He is dead.”

Jean Valjean, who, soiled and tattered, stood behind Javert, and whom the porter was surveying with some horror, made a sign to him with his head that this was not so.

The porter did not appear to understand either Javert’s words or Jean Valjean’s sign.

Then you try to ask for clarification. The cop just repeats that the not-dead Marius is actually dead, vaguely says he got himself killed at the barricades—and then he very helpfully states that when people die there are funerals, as if he’s just stating a random fact he knows about death. This clarifies nothing. You finally just walk away and make it someone else’s problem. Good for you.

Javert continued:

“He went to the barricade, and here he is.”

“To the barricade?” ejaculated the porter.

“He has got himself killed. Go waken his father.”

The porter did not stir.

“Go along with you!” repeated Javert.

And he added:

“There will be a funeral here to-morrow.”

For Javert, the usual incidents of the public highway were categorically classed, which is the beginning of foresight and surveillance, and each contingency had its own compartment; all possible facts were arranged in drawers, as it were, whence they emerged on occasion, in variable quantities; in the street, uproar, revolt, carnival, and funeral.

The porter contented himself with waking Basque. Basque woke Nicolette; Nicolette roused great-aunt Gillenormand.

And then the two of them leave, and youre left with all the confusion of someone who’s been plunged into the middle of Jean Valjean and Javert’s weirdness without any of the context of Victor Hugo’s hit 1862 novel Les miserables:

The porter watched them take their departure as he had watched their arrival, in terrified somnolence.

What the ever-loving fuck? 

I just finished watching After the Dark and I am...I am astounded. I think I loved it? But I'm so in shock at present that I can't decide. I certainly loved the plot and the characters were phenomenal...it was incredibly visually effective and beautiful...

But the ending! I have no idea how to handle it!

Please, if anyone has seen it, please please please talk to me about it. Please, I'm begging you. Someone needs to share in this delightful, brain-fucked agony. 

a small collection of canon facts about neurodivergent matt murdock

matt sleeps under a thick heavy blanket (deep pressure therapy) (netflix series)

matt sleeps in silk sheets because “cotton feels like sandpaper on [his] skin” (sensory processing) (netflix series)

matt’s costuming in the netflix series is specifically oriented towards texture, with his suits, ties, scarves, and other clothes all chosen to be interesting and comfortable texturally 

relatedly listen matt wears a compression shirt in the black vigilante costume on the show and that feels 100% to me like a piece of that

i also have a lot of very complicated things to say about matt’s glasses in comics and show, and i had a whole section on them in my paper, but like. the way he uses the glasses is very complex and engaging but maybe not relevant here

this is almost definitely just a superhero/comic book thing, but the fact that matt wears his costume under his other clothes at all times strikes me as a very autistic thing to do (all)

matt wearing his original costume UNDER his other costume strikes me as even more autistic just saying (vol. 4)

speaking of that new costume, the idea that someone tells him he needs to change his look and that he no longer has to wear a cowl and he responds by dramatically changing ever element of his appearance he can think of while still wearing his old costume underneath is just. yeah. (vol. 4)

matt is very sensitive to taste and texture of foods and has certain foods that he can’t comfortably eat (”oysters. a challenge, texturally”) (vol. 4)

matt goes into sensory overload that is NAMED as sensory overload- “What I wasn’t taking into account was maybe my greatest weakness: sensory overload. For me, [moving to San Francisco] is not just about warmer weather or navigating traffic. Because of my hypersenses, everything out here is new to me. But the human brain, no matter how smart, can only process so much data at any given time. The more there is to learn, the more difficult it is to maintain your normal level of concentration.” (vol. 4)

i’ve said this a lot but also even outside of sensory overload, just the way his brain processes sensory input and the amount of noise he has to wade through to get what he’s searching for is very very SPD

in some things he has to sleep in a sensory deprivation tank because it’s so much all the time 

matt continues to use his cane even after his identity is revealed, presumably because it is familiar to him, so that he doesn’t have to devote as much energy and concentration to orientation and mobility, and as a shortcut for communication (vol. 4)

matt gets sound and smell sensitive migraines (all)

matt hates crowds because of his heightened senses (all, but vol. 3)

matt has frequently gone manic in response to traumatic events in his life and has stayed manic for months on end (vol. 2 esp) 

matt also

matt is prone to episodes of paranoia and is especially susceptible to gaslighting (vol. 2, vol. 3 esp.) 

matt is incredibly self-destructive, especially in situations like when he believes foggy has died when he beats his fists bloody against the wall of his cell and has hallucinations (vol. 2)

Foggy: “Did he cure you of a lifetime of self-destructive depression?” (vol. 3)

Foggy: “You’re self-sabotaging. You’re not used to being this happy for this long, so you’re instinctively fighting the unfamiliar. I would invite you to consider that this is your depression lashing out. Being happy doesn’t fit the patterns it knows.” (vol. 4)

matt word-for-word canonically describes himself as having depression (vol. 4)

matt falls into specific behaviors in response to a depressive episode being triggered including a specific body position and apathy (after the accident, vol. 4 purple children)

also listen just this whole thing where matt doesn’t know how to fight against the weight and inertia of depression but as soon as the purple man calls on him to be afraid he’s like “that. that, i know how to fight.” (vol. 4)

also “Get up. You have momentum now. Don’t lose it. Don’t let the shadows pull you back in. Inertia is the enemy. Do something. Move. Move, Matthew.” (vol. 4)

actually just literally everything with the purple children, that’s all

matt is a massive fidgeter and fidgets extensively with the handle of his cane and makes those same gestures even when he’s not holding the cane (netflix series)

matt uses a script to approach situations, repeats even if the script is not 100% appropriate- “world on fire” for claire and foggy (netflix show), “i’m blind” in response to being questioned by police/media (vol. 2, 3), “i’m not daredevil” (vol. 3) 

fisk is so autistic-coded in the netflix series that many of the things that are parallels between fisk and matt are actually autistic-coded things 

matt wears huge ear protectors and a dust mask when sleeping in college to mitigate the sensory input of trying to sleep in a room shared with foggy (vol. 3) 

matt has super-extreme empathy levels for the people in hell’s kitchen, but is basically okay with crime happening as long as it occurs outside of his neighborhood (all, but shadowland esp.) 

“Matthew only had one love- Hell’s Kitchen. Its safety, its health. These are what he lived to protect.”

matt in general develops extremely close, strong connections with a very limited number of people, and generally only has a few close friends at a time (all)

because of his self-loathing and the degree to which he cares for these people, he strongly believes they would be better off without him

“I should live in a cave and have no friends.” 

matt is very skilled at scripted or arranged speaking (he’s amazing in the courtroom) but he is truly terrible at spoken, informal conversation (all, including netflix show) 

fun example: “Fun Daredevil fact: every single time Matt has to improv, he course-corrects by overacting.” (vol. 4)

matt is very resistant to telling other people his secrets, and naturally is inclined to keep his experiences to himself, not least because he is used to being forced to keep secrets and not having people around him who can relate to his experiences (all) 

matt’s emotionality is considered atypical given his circumstances 

foggy comments on this when matt is happy-go-lucky in vol. 3 

matt is so known for this that he’s literally called The Man Without Fear (it’s not that matt has no fear, it’s that he presents it and responds to it differently) 

this is very much working with parallels rather than with evidence but the way that matt uses alternate input to determine someone’s behavior and tone and to anticipate what they’re going to do next feels very much like the methods ND folks often develop in lieu of or in addition to NT social cues. it’s much more of a conscious effort, it’s far more intentional, it relies far less on traditional methods of determining someone’s intentions

this is made even more clear for me by the difficulty with which matt interprets these signals from other neurodivergent people who don’t match with what he’s expecting/used to interpreting 

he actually can’t tell if people are lying or not if they’re taking certain medications (this is from a comic i can’t remember what it is. um.)

matt has developed specific coping mechanisms and behaviors to respond to certain sensory input/pain/etc

“Three-hundred-some pulse rates just doubled. I can’t unhear them, so I use one of my mental exercises. I picture all those hearts as instruments in a giant orchestra.” 

meditation

“You don’t hurt anymore?” “No, I hurt a lot. But I’m done with it now. I have other things to do.” 

fun fact: I told my therapist this quote and she told me to “channel my inner daredevil” and I was like “ok miriam ok”

matt is incredibly obsessive and often over-responds to things regarding those obsessions- for instance, declaring himself the kingpin, ruining relationships because he can’t focus on anything else

“Matty, you have two speeds: underthink and overthink. Right now, you’re overthinking.” (vol. 4)

matt is deeply self-loathing and fully in doubt of the idea that he could be loved by anyone else ever

matt has also internalized a lot of ableism 

matt also has just a ridiculous amount of guilt

matt on the show reading and rereading and quoting and referencing thurgood marshall is very autistic 

matt absolutely has ptsd and struggles incredibly with the after-effects of things like elektra’s death, karen’s death, milla’s institutionalization, his father’s death, shadowland, the accident 

foggy draws attention to this when he tells matt how worried he is about matt writing a memoir 

it’s also shown time and time again as he struggles with building relationships in the wake of the loss of his previous loves

 Elektra about Matt and Shadowland: “It will leave him scarred forever.” 

Au where Patroclus is a photographer and he's always taking pictures of his gorgeous boyfriend Achilles and their apartment is full of pictures of Achilles posing for him in various places, then one day he finds a box full of candid pictures of himself Achilles took of him without him noticing and he realizes Achilles finds him as beautiful as he finds Achilles

Does anyone know where to get a 2014 Sherlock calendar??? I've looked everywhere I can think of online and the only place still selling them is Amazon and they cost over a hundred bucks. If anyone knows, please please please help me out!

achilles & patroclus commissioned by scarlett–west

>> commissions are always open <<

tfw your deadlines on Tuesday and digital print says there’s a ‘couple days wait’ but they’re closed all weekend and ya gotta bind all 36 pages n cover em before the deadline someone send me food n patience