People Always Try To Play The "but You're A Lesbian" Card Whenever I Say Odd Shit About Men And I Think

nothing, absolutely nothing

literally WHAT is more joyful than a =D in comic sans

Certain words can change your brain forever and ever so you do have to be very careful about it.

I beg my kidnappers for a phone, swearing not to make any calls or texts, and they stare over my shoulder, holding a gun to my head as I use my newly-freed hand to post, "So do like, dudes just buy ropes and baklavas from the same store or what lmfao like a specialty Crime Store"

One of the kidnappers says "balaclavas" but it's muffled under the fabric. I ask them to repeat and they do, their voice raspy from disuse. "You wrote baklava, that's a pastry." The other kidnapper goes "stfu" and then after a pause goes "Why would you buy from a crime store"

i’m a FAGGOT and a WHORE

waking up everyday is just like. good morning sun. good morning sky. good morning evergrowing festering pit of primordial rage inside of me. good morning birds

I've hidden something scary, and FUCKED UP in this post

i wanted to also pose a question. i particularly love using the phrase “i’m just a girl” in response to men when asked about behaviors, especially when they’re questioning me for doing fundamentally normal things and they’re just being misogynistic or bigoted. in my mind i’m using the same “boys will be boys” logic, which usually frustrates the men i’m talking to. i CAN however see how using it can still make it harmful and just a bad rhetoric to use, and can make particularly ignorant men see me (and other women by proxy) as being ditsy, unserious, etc. just wanted to know what exactly people’s takes were on this?

Every time a woman makes a pink job or girl math or girl dinner or I'm just a girl joke I unfortunately have to kill a random man on the streets. And you may think this is cruel or unjust but in reality that's just the way the cookie crumbles

My deepest darkest fantasy is that I collapse on the street and I am rushed to the hospital. They perform a bunch of tests and find out I am severely deficient in some kind of vitamin. Then I start taking the vitamin and I become the happiest cleverest person alive because all my problems were caused by this one deficiency

I think my favorite jokes are the ones that weren’t even all that funny until I was an adult, and now they’re fucking hilarious. I’m not even talking about the dirty jokes. I’m talking about in Finding Nemo where the sharks are having fucking AA for fish eating. Remember that shit? “I am a nice shark, not a mindless eating machine. If I am to change this image, I must first change myself.” Who ever thought of that? That was brilliant. Or what about that time in Shrek 2 where Shrek and Donkey infiltrate the castle pretending to be union workers? Little me didn’t give a shit about unions but big me is remembering Shrek going “It’s okay buddy, we’re from the union” and the desk worker secretively “we don’t even have dental,” and Shrek just shakes his head and looks at Donkey like he can’t believe this shit and goes, “They don’t even have dental.” What the fuck. I’m dying of laughter. Who comes up with this shit.