What Big Bang Is Thinking During Interviews

thank you for saving humanity!!!!! 

To All Writers of Everything Ever

I need to rant about this:

Also known as the best writing program ever! It’s a full-screen writing program!

So you open it up, and it looks like this:

You’re thinking, “Ok, so what? It’s a screen with a picture. Whoopdie do.” But it get’s better! It’s customizable!

See that “appearance”? Click it.

You can also use custom fonts that you have installed!

See that “music”? Click it.

If you drag your own music into the folder, like so:

You get this!:

But wait! It gets better!

See “typing sounds”? You can change those too!

Perhaps the best is - YOU CAN USE ANY PICTURE FOR THE BACKGROUND. It will automatically fade it for you!

Seriously, guys, this tool is wonderful. You can use it for:

Research papers

Novel writing

Play writing

Short stories

Homework assignments

Ranting about your friends when they piss you off

Writing your shopping list

It auto-saves. It exports to .rtf. Hotkeys from Word for italicize, underlining, and bold work. You can print RIGHT FROM THERE.

And the seriously best thing ever?

It fits on a flash drive. The entire thing with added music is maybe 131MBs.

The bestest thing ever.

It’s free.

TOP is a little too excited about slapping Seungri’s butt…any Topri shippers out there? XD

HIMYM is my ultimate comfort series, so I know the episode that this came from by heaaaart as it is one of my favorite episode. Thank you so much for the inspiration ❤️ In this AU, Baghra did not warn Alina of the darkling, she just lets him do whatever, then here as well Mal moved into the Little Palace as part of the amplifier tracking team then reconciled with Alina and they became a couple. The Darkling’s plan involves having the amplifiers complete before he has his true intentions known. So they have been living in Os Alta for a few years from the first book, Shadow and Bone. Enjoy! :) 

Disclaimer: Some quite graphic scenes here, and a bit Mature as well. Very very angsty.

"Does this mean anything to you?" She asked.

"Yes. Of course, it did." The Darkling answered.

A solemn look passed on to her face.

"Alina. Talk to me."

"Mal." He did not know that the blow would hurt like that. "He is the kindest and nicest person. I can't believe I just did this to him. I am a horrible person”

“Alina.” He did not know what to say. It was true. It was indeed a bit horrible that they did that. Everything passed by quickly last night. At first, they were just talking, as they took a break from finalizing their performance, then the next they were in his room, blazing with fire, urgently all over each other, then one thing led to another, ending up with them waking up next to each other naked under the sheets.  

“I’m sorry.” That was all he can say for now. He did not know if he really meant it.  

She stood up, wrapping the sheets around her body as she picked up her clothes on the floor.  

“This never happened. We are not talking about this.” said Alina.

“Are you going to tell Mal?”  

“I...” she hesitated, then looked worriedly at him. “I... don’t know. I should, shouldn’t I?”

Aleksander sat up, leaning his back on the headboard of the bed. “Why are you asking me?” he asked, raising an eyebrow at her.

Alina made a frustrated noise, then proceeded with putting on her clothes.  

“Please, it’s not like I am the only who took pleasure in this, Alina.”

She stopped midway on clasping her blue kefta, then looked at him furiously. “This is a mistake. This should never happen again.”  

“Should?”

“Aleksander.”  

He raised both of his palms up as a form of surrender, but his lips quirked a grin upon hearing his name uttered by her. He remembered telling it to her last night on the heat of the moment.

“This. Never happened. We will perform at the fete like this never happened, then I will be by my boyfriend’s side the whole night after that.”

“If you say so.”

Alina looked at him like she was still about to say something, but refrained herself to. With knot on her forehead, she stormed out of his room.  

This night indeed was going to be very interesting.  

Alina was glad that they were able to wake up before anybody else in the Little Palace. She was glad that Mal was asked to be an additional security in the Grand Palace for the festivities.  

When she reached her room, she hurriedly locked it and threw herself on her bed with all of her clothes on. Her room was cold, quite noticeable that she was not in here last night. She did not care. Her mind raced through the events that transpired last night.  

It was an unusual night. She remembered enjoying the company of the Darkling, being comfortable talking to him, him telling her his real name. She has never expected that kind of comfort with him. He always usually looked cool and collected, but last night, for the first time she saw him laugh. Genuinely laugh, not like the ominous and clipped laugh that he had, making you think if he is planning your demise behind that laugh.  

She has always felt drawn towards him. Before Mal moved into the Little Palace to become part of the team tracking her amplifiers, for a moment before that she felt an indescribable want to be with him. That was until Mal have confessed his feelings towards her, then they became a couple. The Darkling might not explicitly mention it, but his disdain towards her choice was apparent, still he respected it.  

Except for last night, when she kissed him. He was intoxicatingly close to her, he smelled like the crisp winter night. He was laughing at what she said, his head leaning on to back rest of the sofa in his common area. She did not know what came on to her, when she dipped her head and kissed him.  

He was surprised but he was quick to respond to her kiss. No one attempted to sever the connection, no one dared to stop.  

Shame surged through her whole body. She grabbed her blankets and buried herself under it. She did not bother removing her dirty boots, she just wanted to be enveloped by the darkness for now.  

She was woken up by the urgent knocking on her door.  

“Alina. Are you there?” It was Genya, still knocking at the door as she spoke.

She threw the sheets away from her and was startled with the sunlight entering her room. Still rubbing her eyes from the sleep, she dragged herself to open the door.

“What happened to you?” said Genya as she entered her room.  

She felt terrible so of course it was apt that she looked horrible.

“Also, why is your room so cold?” She headed towards the fireplace and lit it for her.  

She just sat on her bed quietly, not knowing what to say either. She wanted to tell Genya, but she also had to tell Mal if that was the case.  

“What time is it?” She just asked her.  

“It’s after noon now.” Said Genya as she stood up and came to site beside her on her bed. “You missed breakfast. I figured you slept in, since you were out late last night preparing for today. Then I became worried when I did not see you downstairs for lunch.” She eyed her rumpled kefta. “I guess I was right to be worried. I asked some servants to bring you lunch here, so that we can immediately start preparing you for tonight.”  

She just nodded to agree.

“Is something wrong Alina.” Now Genya sounds extremely worried. This was her chance to tell her. She trusts her with everything, for years now she has been her confidant. So why does it seem like she is unable to tell her this. Was it shame?  

“I am just spent.” She opted to say to her, which was not entirely false.  

Genya paused, looking at her face, trying to figure out if she is going to ask more. “All right.” She just said to her.  

Of course she knew that she was keeping something, but she was thankful that she did not press further. It was a horrible feeling keeping this from her, not being able to ask for her comforting advices, but she knew she had to do something first. She had to tell Mal.  

The ballroom was full of people. He despises it, but he knew it was necessary. The Etherialkis are now preparing for their presentation. Blue keftas, differing from the color of their embroideries are organizing on the stage. The orchestra is now tuning their instruments.

He caught a glimpse of her walking towards the back of the stage. Her presence has always illicit murmurs from the crowd, most especially now that a gathering for her sainthood have grown larger over the years. A living saint. He wondered what her congregation would think of her if they knew how she shouted his name, urging him to ravish her, settling him to a brink of insanity.  

He headed towards her direction, finding her alone in the dark. Genya outdid herself this time. Her brown hair was extravagantly pulled up, gathering at her nape, perfectly showing off her amplifier collar. His eyes landed on the sensitive spot on her neck, a memory came into his mind of the sweet taste of that crevice, and a moan from Alina.  

She turned around, cutting him off from his reverie.

The Etherialkis are now being introduced on stage, then the music started.

“Are you ready?” He said as he approached her.  

She visibly gulped and just nodded. She was distracted, looking and searching the crowd.  

“He is stationed at the gates.”  

She looked at him. “I need to tell him.”  

Surprised by her decision, he said. “You think that is a good idea because?”

“He trusts me, I did him wrong, he has the right to know.”  

“The right to know? You also know that there is a possibility that he will leave you if you told him.”

She looked away, now watching the Grishas on the stage.

“I know.” She said, that made the Darkling raise his eyebrow.  

“Why does it feels like that you want him to leave you?”  

“That is absurd. Why would I want that.” She said defensively.

“You are intentionally deciding to sabotage your relationship, Alina. Why else are you telling me that you will tell him about what happened to us?”

She abruptly face him, fury on her face. “It’s about trust.”

“That you have broken.” He reached out to cup her cheeks, it was red and it was warm. “Admit it, Alina. You wanted me and you still want me now. I have given to you everything that your otkazat’sya can’t. I will never look away from your light, from your brightness, from your power. You knew that and you want that.”

“You do not know what I want.”

“I do. I can see it in your eyes, I can feel it in your touch, and I can hear it your voice. You may not shout it, but it was there. Last night, you have let yourself go, remember on how that felt good?” He smiled as the fury from her face was replaced with confusion. She was thinking about it, and it made her blush even more. He moved closer to her.

“No matter what we do, we will always be connected Alina. I tried my best and now I am just tired to pretending of not wanting you. We can stop pretending now. I want to want you as much as I can.”

Her eyes became soft, and her lips parted. She was looking at his lips as well, and as he was about to bow to meet her lips, an applause roared in the ballroom.  

She quickly stepped away from him and stood by his side to make way for the Grisha leaving the stage.

It was now their turn. They took on the stage. They were introduced then the music started. He opened his arms, letting the room be engulfed by the shadow in waves, shadows dancing above the head of the guests like water. When it reached the other end of the ballroom, everything was pitch black.  

“I will tell Mal by midnight.” Alina suddenly whispered to him.  

Then one by one small twinkling lights suspended in the air appeared, giving a soft light to illuminate the awe of the audience. The room looked like a night sky full of stars.

He looked at her. She was looking in front of her, focusing on their creations.  

“Can I expect you to come to me afterwards?”  

She nodded, still not looking at him.

The shadows and stars swirled around the center of the room. The shadow engulfing the stars with it, until a sphere of shadow was in the center of the room. Slowly the shadow was peeling away from the sphere, dispersing around the room, little by little it revealed a ball of light it have covered. With some shadows still dancing around it, and a pale light emitting from it, it looked like a moon. Then with a wave from Alina’s arm, the pale light was replaced by a searing bright light that was immediately spread to the whole room from the ceiling. The ballroom basked under a sunlight in the likes of a summer day, a comfortable warmth and delight was seen from the audience’s faces as they gave them their applause.  

“One does not shine without the darkness.” He heard her whisper.  

He was restless. He was never restless. A few more minutes until midnight. He was waiting for her in the war room. He tried sitting down, but he was buzzing with an energy he can’t quite comprehend. He was pacing the floor.  

He cannot believe that finally his patience paid off. He has been patient with her over the years. He was bidding his time to complete the amplifiers before truly trying to gain her loyalty. He knew he needed her loyalty; he knew that he had to earn her trust, and he was successful in doing so over the years.  

There was just one thing that he did not anticipate, the pull that she seemed to have on him. He regretted bringing in the tracker in Os Alta, but he was the one who found the first amplifier for them, and he knew once they have set out to find the second one, he is the one who will be able to find it.  

He had to endure his presence until all of the amplifiers were complete. He had to endure seeing Alina in his arms, when all he wanted to do was rip them away from his shoulders so that he may never wrap them around hers. He needed to be in their good graces until he can get what he wanted.  

The tracker might leave the palace.

An annoying thought found him, and he knew it to be something that might happen. But he did not care for it anymore. He just wanted Alina. He just wanted to kiss her again, to touch her again and be in her embrace.

Suddenly there was an urgent knock in the door.  

“Moi soverennyi.” It was Ivan.  

“Ivan, did I not instruct everyone to leave me alone for tonight?” he said annoyed.

“Moi soverennyi. It’s...” Ivan repeated. He stood up straight feeling the tense on Ivan’s voice, he seemed scared to say what he wanted to say.

“Come in.”

Ivan entered the room, his red kefta and hands stained with blood.

“What happened?” he asked, scared of what he was about to say.

“It’s Alina.” He was struck on his place, afraid of what he might say next.

“She was stabbed. There was an assassin in the palace grounds.”

“Who was it.” He heard himself say, anger bubbling up inside him, worry for Alina was mixed in with the fury on whoever dared to do this, and he was going to strike them piece by piece until there was nothing left of whoever did this.

“It was one of the Apparat’s priestguards.”

He gripped the edge of the table in front of him, aware of the shadow spilling from his hands and feet. He knew that the Apparat have tried to take Alina to be on his side. With her sainthood’s popularity growing more and more every day, he knew that it was an opportunity for him to take advantage of the naiveté of its followers for his own gain, but Alina, stubborn as ever, refused to support the Apparat’s cause, she found it to be vain. The only way now for the Apparat gain the sun saint’s followers was to stage her martyrdom, and now he really dared to do it even if he knew it would incur his wrath, and his wrath he shall receive.

“Bring him to me. Bring the Apparat as well.”  

Ivan left immediately, then he also made his way out. As he reached the grounds, he noticed the party in the grand palace was still continuing and he despised everyone in the room for it. Their saint was dying and he cannot stand the people in that room continuing on to their debauchery. He wanted to snuff the light out of the ballroom, cut them all up, but he knew that it was of no use. His rage had to be directed somewhere, to someone that deserved it.  

He saw Ivan along with some of his oprinchinkis and corporalnik dragging a frail man, hands covered with blood. Alina’s blood. It made him furious. He had the audacity to spill an important blood, now he will saw his petty and unimportant blood spill right before his eyes.  

Behind him the Apparat was dragged along, he was still trying to fight the grips of the grisha beside him, even if he knew that it would no use. He was spouting nonsense and threats at them, but the corporalnik did not faze.  

“There is no use on trying to slip away.” He said when they have reached him.  

“The King will hear about this.” the Apparat said, but he just laughed at him.

“Oh, I do intend to let him know. Was he behind this as well? Did he asked for Alina to be killed?”

“No. He had no part on this.”

He reached his hand out to the priestguard, his shadows swirling around his neck, until it brought him higher, his eyes widened with fear as he looked at him choking by his shadows.  

“Tell me if this is true.”  

“It is.” he managed to croak out.

“Tell me again. Does the King have a part to kill Alina?”

“No, he does not. It was the Apparat’s plan for the longest time. He also asked me to keep it from the royals.” he said desperately. “Please.”

He was disgusted on his pleading. He had no right to plead for his life when he willingly took Alina’s. He turned his palm up then closed him hands, choking him tighter. The priestguard writhed, his legs flailing above ground, as he tried scratching the shadows on his neck, but it was of no use. His choke on him grew tighter and tighter until he stopped moving. His limp body hung, lifeless and pale. He lets go of him and watched him fall carelessly on the ground.  

Suddenly Genya was running towards them, her eyes bloodshot and face tear stained. He saw the priestguard’s corpse on the floor, there was a quick shock and concern that passed on her face, then an anger, when she saw the blood-soaked hands.  

“Was he...?” Genya asked.

He just nodded.

“It’s Alina. She’s asking for you.”

“Bring him.” He instructed the corporalnik holding the Apparat, then they rushed to the infirmary.

When they arrived, she was in bed lying on the corner of the room, still wearing her black kefta. The tracker was beside her, his hand holding on to hers. When he saw him, he stood up and without a word left her bedside. He quickly came to her side.  

“Aleksander.” she breathed out, visibly struggling.

“Save your breath, love. You need to live. I need you.”

She reached her hands out to him, and he quickly caught it, their hands intertwining.  

He looked up searching for Genya. “Do something! Save her! You have to save her.”  

Genya was crying again, tears streamed from her eyes to her cheeks. “We did our best, the wound was too deep in her heart, the knife was also poisoned.”  

“Aleksander.” Alina said again, more like a whisper this time.

“No. No. No. Don’t let me be alone Alina. I have waited for you for too long. I cannot just lose you now.”

Her other hand reached to wrap the other side of his hand. “Aleksander. I will be always be with you.”  

He felt something tugging inside him, reaching out, he met it, suddenly power surged through him. His eyes widened.

“Alina, no. What are you doing?”  

She smiled, even though it pained her. “I am yours. My power is yours.”

She continued to push her power to him. He was drowning in it as it pools all over him, getting stronger and stronger, until there was none. There was none left on her. She gave him his powers.  

Alina has her eyes closed now, and her breathing was labored. He places her other hand on her cheek, and felt her slowly fade away, slowly get away from his grasp, until she exhaled her final breath.  

It played slowly on his head syncing with the feeling of his heart dropping in his chest.

He can hear the clock ticking, it ticked three time before it stopped for him. The room went still. Sometimes hours can feel like minutes and sometimes a single second can last a lifetime. For Aleksander, the second that would never end, was this one.

“Sankta Alina. Her martyrdom is now complete.” The Apparat shouted. He looked at him feeling his hands buzzing with his new found powers. He swept his arms up. Using the Cut on him with flash of searing light.  

His balance now gone, there was nothing left to do but to tip everything over.

Thank you for reading! I know it’s a bit dark. It’s actually a first for me writing something like this. I hope you enjoyed it! Thank you!

Sometimes hours can feel like minutes and sometimes a single second can last a lifetime. For Aleksander, the second that would never end, was this one.

Yes! The line "You could have made me your equal" is stuck on replay on my mind. It hurts so much!

And he’s STILL trying to convince her, despite himself. And Alina’s dropping truth bombs he needs to hear & you can see her ‘we almost could’ve had this’ REALLY hurts him. Hurts both of them (me too, let’s be real).

It’s gonna end in tears, but he’s still weak to her in a way he probably both hates and longs for. How long has it been since his conscience plagued him? Since he had trouble justifying his actions? He hates to admit it and hides behind THAT line (oh my gosh they actually put it in) but he can’t ignore Alina Starkov because she makes him feel again, makes him remember and question his similarity to the people he despises, despite everything.

This painful interaction is just. PERFECT. So much depth!! Layers!!!

AAHHHHHHHHHHH

I am on the verge of not caring at all. Like fuck everything! I’m gonna do what I want get the hell out of your fucking drama. Say whatever you want because I am just going to ignore you and your stupid face. 

But unfortunately I can’t do that. I just can’t. If I can I would but I can’t. 

A fuckload of classic literature:

1984 by George Orwell

A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens

A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man by James Joyce

A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens

Aesop’s Fables by Aesop

Agnes Grey by Anne Brontë

Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Caroll

Andersen’s Fairy Tales by Hans Christian Andersen

Anne of Green Gables by Lucy Maud Montgomery

Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy

Around the World in 80 Days by Jules Verne

Beyond Good and Evil by Friedrich Nietzsche

Bleak House by Charles Dickens

Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoevsky

David Copperfield by Charles Dickens

Down and Out in Paris and London by George Orwell

Dracula by Bram Stoker

Dubliners by James Joyce

Emma by Jane Austen

Erewhon by Samuel Butler

For the Term of His Natural Life by Marcus Clarke

Frankenstein by Mary Shelley

Great Expectations by Charles Dickens

Grimms Fairy Tales by the brothers Grimm

Gulliver’s Travels by Jonathan Swift

Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad

Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte

Kidnapped by Robert Louis Stevenson

Lady Chatterly’s Lover by D. H. Lawrence

Les Miserables by Victor Hugo

Little Women by Louisa May Alcott

Madame Bovary by Gustave Flaubert

Middlemarch by George Eliot

Moby Dick by Herman Melville

Northanger Abbey by Jane Austen

Nostromo: A Tale of the Seaboard by Joseph Conrad

Notes from the Underground by Fyodor Dostoevsky

Of Human Bondage by W. Somerset Maugham

Oliver Twist by Charles Dickens

Paradise Lost by John Milton

Persuasion by Jane Austen

Pollyanna by Eleanor H. Porter

Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen

Robinson Crusoe by Daniel Defoe

Sense and Sensibility, by Jane Austen

Sons and Lovers by D. H. Lawrence

Swanns Way by Marcel Proust

Tarzan of the Apes by Edgar Rice Burroughs

Tender is the Night by F. Scott Fitzgerald

Tess of the d’Urbervilles by Thomas Hardy

The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain

The Adventures of Tom Sawyer by Mark Twain

The Brothers Karamazov, by Fyodor Dostoevsky

The Great Gatsby

The Hound of the Baskervilles by Arthur Conan Doyle

The Idiot by Fyodor Dostoevsky

The Iliad by Homer

The Island of Doctor Moreau by H. G. Wells

The Jungle Book by Rudyard Kipling

The Last of the Mohicans by James Fenimore Cooper

The Legend of Sleepy Hollow by Washington Irving

The Odyssey by Homer

The Merry Adventures of Robin Hood by Howard Pyle

The Metamorphosis by Franz Kafka

The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde

The Portrait of a Lady by Henry James

The Prince by Nicolo Machiavelli

The Scarlet Pimpernel by Baroness Orczy

The Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde by Robert Louis Stevenson

The Tales of Mother Goose by Charles Perrault

The Thirty Nine Steps by John Buchan

The Three Musketeers by Alexandre Duma

The Time Machine by H. G. Wells

The Trial by Franz Kafka

The War of the Worlds by H. G. Wells

Treasure Island by Robert Louis Stevenson

Ulysses by James Joyce

Utopia by Sir Thomas More

Vanity Fair by William Makepeace Thackeray

Within A Budding Grove by Marcel Proust

Women In Love by D. H. Lawrence

Wuthering Heights by Emily Brontë

Click on the motherfucking Hypelinks bitches.

Here! Have a fuckload of modern literature, too!

A Clockwork Orange - Anthony Burgess

A Study In Scarlet - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter - Seth Grahame-Smith

An Abundance of Katherines - John Green

Artemis Fowl - Eoin Colfer

Bossypants - Tina Fey

Breakfast At Tiffany’s - Truman Capote

Bridget Jones’s Diary - Helen Fielding

Catcher In The Rye - J.D. Salinger

Charlie And The Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl

City of Bones - Cassandra Clare

Clockwork Angel - Cassandra Clare

Damned - Chuck Palahniuk

Darkly Dreaming Dexter - Jeff Lindsay

Dead Until Dark - Charlaine Harris

Ender’s Game - Orson Scott Card

Everything Is Illuminated - Jonathan Safran Foer

Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close - Jonathan Safran Foer

Fahrenheit 451 - Ray Bradbury

Fight Club - Chuck Palahniuk

Go The Fuck To Sleep - Adam Mansbach

I Am America (And So Can You!) - Stephen Colbert

I Am Number Four - Pittacus Lore

Inkheart - Cornelia Funke

It - Stephen King

Life of Pi - Yann Martel

Lolita - Vladmir Nabokov

Marked - Kristin Cast

Memoirs Of A Geisha - Arthur Golden

My Sister’s Keeper - Jodi Picoult

Never Let Me Go - Kazuo Ishiguro

One Day - David Nicholls

Paper Towns - John Green

Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightening Thief - Rick Riordan

Pretty Little Liars - Sara Shepard

Slaughterhouse Five - Kurt Vonnegut

Snow White And The Huntsman - Lily Blake

The Book Thief - Markus Zusak

The Bourne Identity - Robert Ludlum

The Giver - Lois Lowry

The Hunger Games - Suzanne Collins

The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini

The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold

The Notebook - Nicholas Sparks

The Outsiders - S.E. Hinton

The Perks of Being A Wallflower - Stephen Chbosky

The Princess Diaries - Meg Cabot

The Things They Carried - Tim O’Brien

The Time Traveler’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger

The Ultimate Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy - Douglas Adams

Tuesdays With Morrie - Mitch Albom

Uglies - Scott Westerfeld

Vampire Diaries: The Awakening - L.J. Smith

Water For Elephants - Sara Gruen

Wicked - Gregory Maguire