I Be Like "omg, I Have So Much To Do" And Then Go Lay Down

5 years ago, I put a gif of Spongebob breathing heavily through a filter, but it fucking broke and accidentally made an infinitely funnier and more relatable gif than I could ever have made on purpose

*puts husband on shoulder like bird

1265

God damn, best idea for a tech update I've seen in a while.

video games are big fans of *grunt of pain* as a token “hey bitch ur getting injured be careful” cue but i think there should be like, a 1 in a 1000 chance for the pc to scream “FUCK” really loud after taking damage 

The Interweb Oracle foretold such a question would come. The Internet Oracle is never wrong in its predictions.

I hope this clears things up for you, mystery person on the internets.

lesbians are always right. if your lesbian friends tells you some shit that’s good info 

Abbey Lee Kershaw with Nicholas Hoult at the Met Gala 2013

i want to be a conventionally attractive wealthy skinny ciswoman so i can go on the bachelor and make it all the way thru the competition, and when the guy proposes to me i just like leap towards him and close my teeth around his neck and bite as hard as i can. just absolute animal brutality like shaking his neck like a ragdoll, growling ripping tearing etc, and then before anyone can stop me immediately run into traffic and die so no one ever gets the chance to understand why that happened

food service and retail workers should be legally allowed to slap one (1) customer across the face as hard as they can every year. slaps do roll over at the end of year so you can really come unglued if you've been saving em up like vacation days.

Yeah, this seems about right.