Maybe All It Is, Is To Find Yourself In The Eternal Mundane Of Everyday, The Sunsets And Sunrises, The

back-to-school thoughts

When I was a kid, the end of the summer holidays always brought around a wave of excitement. As much as I loved the six weeks we got off, going back to school was a whole new level of excitement. Going back to school meant a new start (I think my brain still functions on a September-to-September calendar), seeing friends I hadn't seen in all summer, and the opportunity to reinvent myself.

I would spend hours upon hours watching 'DIY stationery tutorials' and 'What's in my Bag' videos to try and recreate my image in the days leading up to the beginning of the year. I'd collect all my newest pens and pencils (which I would inevitably lose before the Christmas holidays) and pack my bag and anxiously wait for 8am the next morning so I could run off to school.

I couldn't wait to see which teachers I'd have, who was in my classes, and how I'd stack up against the milestones of getting older.

Now - as an adult in university who pretty much hated her last few years of school - the last few weeks of summer are rife with stress. The simplicity of childhood excitement has been replaced with a complicated cocktail of deadlines, money stress, and the pressure to constantly perform.

Yeah, university can be fun. I love my friends, I love my freedom, and I love the satisfaction of achieving my dreams. But the joy of learning that I felt when I was younger often feels crushed beneath an avalanche of essays, group projects, and the constant mental math of wondering where this takes me.

I sometimes think about the younger version of me - who read academic journals for fun - and wonder if I'll ever recapture the carefree excitement of a new academic year.

Maybe it’s not about recreating that feeling but reimagining it. It’s not about colourful pencil cases or new backpacks anymore (although, I love me a nice, new notebook or some cute pens). It’s about finding small joys in the chaos - coffee with friends, a doughnut during exam season - and reminding myself that growth, no matter how daunting, is worth it.

So here’s to all of us still navigating education, whether you are at school or university. I hope that this year is the best it could possibly be, no matter what your best looks like.

dear lizzy mcalpine

On October 25th, 2024, I went to the Lizzy McAlpine concert at the Eventim Apollo (London) and let me tell you, it was genuinely one of the best concert experiences I've ever had. From the moment the lights dimmed and Lizzy took the stage, I felt enveloped in the warm and cosy atmosphere that set the tone for the entire evening.

Lizzy's performance style is refreshingly intimate: I kinda felt like I was third (or tenth) wheeling as Lizzy and her band jammed out together on stage. The set was so minimalistic - which I loved. Lizzy spent the majority of the concert seated in the middle of the stage with her guitar in hand. It felt like she was inviting us into her world, and to be honest, I kinda never wanted to leave.

Occasionally, she would switch to the piano on one side of the stage for 1-2 songs and those moments were particularly magical. You could see the connection between her and her instruments; it was clear she was flexing (not in a bad way) her Berklee education in the way she intertwined the music with the lyrics she was singing.

'Older' has some of my favourite songs ever on it because I feel like I just relate to the complexities of growing older and coming to terms with the end of a relationship. Lizzy's voice, both powerful and delicate, carried the weight of her lyrics beautifully. I found myself completely absorbed in the performance, holding onto her every word, feeling every emotion she conveyed. It was a captivating blend of vulnerability and strength that made the night unforgettable.

In a world where concerts often feel like a spectacle, Lizzy McAlpine's show reminded me of the beauty of simplicity and sincerity. I left the venue not just entertained but profoundly moved by the chance to see her live, I highly recommend you take it.

Love,

Nia <3

a lil ode to being 18

today is my 18th birthday!! and once again, i’m in my feels about getting older. so here’s a lil thing i wrote to put some words to the thoughts in my brain.

growing up is weird.

one moment, you're a baby rolling around on blankets and laughing at the silly faces your parents are making at you, the next, you're a teenager, cramming for your a levels that are less than a week away. one minute, you're endlessly babbling about everything and nothing all at once, the next, you're struggling to find the words to say in front of an interviewer who probably determines the next steps of your life.

in some ways, i miss being a little kid - when life got tough, you could just play pretend, santa still existed, and your biggest problem was whether the 'i' came before or after the 'e' in believe, because, trust me, i always struggled with that one.

growing up is weird, because when i was little, i couldn't wait to be grown up - i couldn't wait to be 10, then 13, then 16, then 18. and now that i'm here? well, it just feels like more of the same.

i still feel just as naive as i was 6 months ago. except now, i can drive alone and vote. but at the same time, i feel light years away from the little kid who liked to talk to no one on the phone and sung hindi songs in the strongest british accent you've ever heard. i kinda want to go back.

i want to go back to sitting in my friend's mum's old toyota yaris while she drove us both to orchestra, and playing pretend in the house my neighbours used to live in with the park across the road. playing mums and dads under the table at my best friend's house - the table that he still has because somethings never change, i guess.

i want to go back to when the best thing in the world was pineapple upside down cake with custard, and when the most exciting part of the day was reading time. i want to go back to the bench we used to have our lunch on in school, even if i'm not friends with half the people who sat with me anymore, or back to music class, where all anyone did was chat. i want to go back to agreeing to wake up at 6am at sleepovers and when the only songs i wrote were about how much i missed my friends when they went away for the summer.

growing up is weird because i've been waiting for this day since i was old enough to know what growing up meant. and yet it still feels sudden, like it's been sprung on me without warning. it's like one minute you're one person and the next you're someone completely different, with no chance of ever going back.

growing up is weird, and it's wonderful, and i think i'm ready to keep going.

little white lies

"i'm 5 minutes away" "my phone died" "this is delicious" "you look amazing" "i love you too."

'little white lies', nini (11-06-2021)

sorry i missed today's (05-12) video!! it should be up midnight today :)

update: it went up at like 2 am :)

january journalling prompts

New Year's Resolutions

Where do you want to be by the end of this year? How would you be different then to who you are now?

What is one word you would use to describe this year, and why?

Things to do more of.

Things to do less of.

Letter to your past self.

Letter to your future self.

What does self-love look like to you?

Three places you would like to visit.

Last, Now, Next - books to read.

Ideal Morning Routine

What is your favourite thing about weekends right now?

If you were a type of weather, what kind of weather would you be?

What were you doing at 10am today?

Write a letter to your childhood best friend?

Write about the last time you were disappointed in yourself.

If you could run away, where would you go? Who would you go with?

Your current favourite song.

Your biggest annoyance right now.

What is your earliest memory?

If you had to get a tattoo right now, what would you get?

Write a letter to your crush.

Favourite movie or TV show right now.

Dream job aesthetic.

How late did you stay up last night? Why?

What was your favourite moment of today?

If you were a scent, what scent would you be?

What is your biggest fear? How would you overcome it?

Five things that make you smile.

What is your ideal day?

January rewind.

books i want to read in 2025!!

So, I like to read. I feel like anyone who knows me in real life will tell you that I am pretty much an obsessive reader. But, over the past few years, I have really slowed down how much I read. So, in order to meet my goal of reading 50 books this year, here's a list of books off my TBR that I wanna knock off before the end of March:

The Percy Jackson series (like the main five) by Rick Riordan: Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief Percy Jackson and the Sea of Monsters Percy Jackson and the Titan's Curse Percy Jackson and the Battle of the Labyrinth Percy Jackson and the Last Olympian

A Flat Place by Noreen Masud

The Yellow House by Sarah M Broom

Bad Pharma by Ben Goldacre

The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde

Zero Days by Ruth Ware

The Pachinko Parlour by Elisa Shua Dusapin

The Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown

Roll of the Dice by Anand Neelakantan

The Code Breaker by Walter Isaacson

As always, when I'm done reading them, I will post my review here or on my tiktok (@niagosavi) so check them out if you want to know my opinion. If you have any recommendations for me then PLEASE let me know!!

i'm doing vlogmas!!

every day in december, i'll be uploading a new video so i hope you enjoy!!

click here if you wanna check out the channel!

autumn bucket list

watch 'gilmore girls'

make cookies

crochet something

record an autumn podcast

have a bath

watch a horror film

go on a solo date

go on an autumn walk

cozy up with a book

autumn clean (like a spring clean, but in autumn)

carve a pumpkin

make pumpkin soup

celebrate diwali

make hot chocolate

celebrate friendsgiving

check out my new birthday vlog!! hope you love it!!

love, n. xx

a lil ode to being 18

today is my 18th birthday!! and once again, i’m in my feels about getting older. so here’s a lil thing i wrote to put some words to the thoughts in my brain.

growing up is weird.

one moment, you're a baby rolling around on blankets and laughing at the silly faces your parents are making at you, the next, you're a teenager, cramming for your a levels that are less than a week away. one minute, you're endlessly babbling about everything and nothing all at once, the next, you're struggling to find the words to say in front of an interviewer who probably determines the next steps of your life.

in some ways, i miss being a little kid - when life got tough, you could just play pretend, santa still existed, and your biggest problem was whether the 'i' came before or after the 'e' in believe, because, trust me, i always struggled with that one.

growing up is weird, because when i was little, i couldn't wait to be grown up - i couldn't wait to be 10, then 13, then 16, then 18. and now that i'm here? well, it just feels like more of the same.

i still feel just as naive as i was 6 months ago. except now, i can drive alone and vote. but at the same time, i feel light years away from the little kid who liked to talk to no one on the phone and sung hindi songs in the strongest british accent you've ever heard. i kinda want to go back.

i want to go back to sitting in my friend's mum's old toyota yaris while she drove us both to orchestra, and playing pretend in the house my neighbours used to live in with the park across the road. playing mums and dads under the table at my best friend's house - the table that he still has because somethings never change, i guess.

i want to go back to when the best thing in the world was pineapple upside down cake with custard, and when the most exciting part of the day was reading time. i want to go back to the bench we used to have our lunch on in school, even if i'm not friends with half the people who sat with me anymore, or back to music class, where all anyone did was chat. i want to go back to agreeing to wake up at 6am at sleepovers and when the only songs i wrote were about how much i missed my friends when they went away for the summer.

growing up is weird because i've been waiting for this day since i was old enough to know what growing up meant. and yet it still feels sudden, like it's been sprung on me without warning. it's like one minute you're one person and the next you're someone completely different, with no chance of ever going back.

growing up is weird, and it's wonderful, and i think i'm ready to keep going.